by Lexi C. Foss
I wouldn’t betray Jax in the literal sense, but allowing him to believe that I was capable of being vulnerable, of trusting someone enough to let them past the steel shelter around my heart, pretending that there was even a remote possibility I would never lay my life at the feet of another person—those lies were just as damaging. And the day would come when he would realize that he’d never have the true mate he thought he’d found. Even if we had never fully bonded, the pain of breaking the connection from any of the steps we’d taken could kill him. I wasn’t willing to take that chance.
22
Jax
We’d woken up late in the morning and by the time we’d all showered and dressed and I returned from being dispatched to pick up everything and anything Rowan thought the cat might need—I was pretty sure he had more stuff than any of us, but it made her happy and that was what mattered—it was late afternoon. Once Emerald gathered her belongings and Rowan packed her own things—which was comprised mostly of weapons, several of which I’d never seen the likes of—and Malfoy was in his crate and ready to go, it was early evening. I was a little more insistent that we get a move on at that point because I wanted to get to Asher’s before dark. The seasons were getting colder which meant the nights were coming earlier, and I didn’t like the idea of this nightwalker coming at Rowan before she was ready.
After the events that led to following Rowan to this universe, I didn’t expect our return to be so simple. Rowan ran her thumb over the large pink sapphire in her amulet and touched the wall in her living room. She stepped through and Emerald and I followed. I had our bags slung over my shoulder and Emerald held the cat carrier. Once we were standing in the dark halls of the network, Rowan moved before the shimmering pink opening we’d come through. She was still holding her amulet tightly in her hand and she muttered something under her breath. The pink was suddenly split by another glittery curtain, this one a rainbow of colors.
Rowan stood still and stared through the portal. After a minute, I was about to ask if everything was all right when Emerald walked up next to her and took her hand.
“They are a continent away and there is no way for them to know we’re back.”
My mate hesitated for one more breath, then threw her shoulders back and stood tall before marching through the portal. Emerald hung back and as I approached, she put her hand on my arm, her green eyes implacable. “You know she created them?” she asked.
“The amulets?”
She nodded.
“I suspected.”
“They take an incredible toll on her. She’s terrified of being used to create them, not only because of what it takes out of her, but because they are very dangerous in the wrong hands. She never came out and said it, but all those years we tried to get home, I knew she wouldn’t return with us.”
“I will always protect Rowan,” I stated the absolute truth.
“I believe you’ll keep her physically safe,” Emerald answered. Then her hand gripped my arm so hard that the nails dug deep. “Earning her trust is going to be nearly impossible. If you do, and you break her heart, I’ll drive her stake through yours. Vampires aren’t the only ones who can die that way.” Then she stopped suddenly, her brows drawing together in a thoughtful expression. After a moment, she smiled drolly. “Well, in the other reality, anyway. Still, you can die that way in any realm.”
My wolf didn’t like her tone and emitted a low warning growl. I stayed calm and relaxed so he wouldn’t perceive the situation as dangerous.
“To hurt her would be to hurt myself. But even if separation from her caused me no pain, she would still be safe with me.”
Emerald stared at me for another few seconds, but if she’d intended to say anything else, she was cut short by Rowan sticking her head back through the portal. It seemed the shock only occurred the first time you stepped through or until it was closed and reopened again.
“Is there a problem here?” Her eyes went to Emerald’s hand on my arm and she scowled, though she tried hard to fight it.
“No problem, baby,” I told her with a soft smile while I gently shook off Emerald’s touch. Her face became a mask of serene calm—an expression that was starting to annoy me—and she backed out of the portal.
I glanced at Emerald and said, “I appreciate what you would do for Rowan and I’m glad she has friends who love and support her, but no one will take my mate from me. Not even you.”
To my surprise, she smiled. “I knew I liked you, Fido.”
I chuckled and rolled my eyes before crossing through the portal.
Rowan was waiting with her hands on her hips and her foot tapping the ground as she glared at me.
It took a minute for Emerald and me to shrug off the spasms caused by the force of energy that hit us when we crossed. Then I smiled and closed the distance between Rowan and me to wrap my arm around her waist and haul her up against me.
“You know powerful women are sexy, right?”
She bit her lip but couldn’t hide the pleasure my words gave her from sparkling in her light purple eyes.
“Sexy. As. Fuck,” I whispered as I lowered my head so that my mouth was only a breath from hers. I licked her velvety lips while my arm tightened, and she gasped as I pressed my hips into her so she could feel how hard I was for her. Taking advantage of her opening, I slipped my tongue in to taste her and groaned. She tasted like chocolate, and her lavender and vanilla scent was wrapping itself around me. I was nearing the edge of my control, and my wolf’s urging was making it worse, so I softened the kiss to a tender brush of our lips.
“It’s killing me to hold back, baby,” I murmured. “You have no idea how difficult it is not to fuck you every single minute of the day.”
She shivered and released a breathy moan.
“It’s only going to get worse for both of us the longer you fight it. But I’ll wait as long as you need to fully claim you.” Reluctantly, I pulled my head away, but I kept my gaze locked with hers. “That doesn’t mean I won’t spend every waking minute trying to talk you out of your panties and into my bed.”
My wolf understood the desire I was feeling, and his fur rippled along my skin to let me know he approved, although he was confused as to why I’d let Rowan go.
“I…eto samoye…okay.”
Satisfied with her answer, I gave her a quick, hard kiss before loosening my arm to allow her to back up a step. I loved how her eyes were glazed with passion, need burning in their depths. I sighed. If I was going to be able to walk, I needed to stop letting my body rule my mind.
“You’re going to have to start speaking English all the time or teach me some Russian, baby,” I teased her in an effort to lighten the mood.
“What?” She seemed genuinely confused.
Emerald laughed, suddenly reminding us she was there. Maybe I should have cared that we’d basically ignored her to make out, but I didn’t.
“She doesn’t even realize she does it most of the time,” Emerald explained. “That was basically your equivalent of um. A filler phrase.”
“I see.” I looked around and recognized the portal in the catacombs of St. Patrick’s. It made sense to come through there as we knew it would most likely be empty and we wouldn’t risk attracting attention.
“Should we go straight to the council?” Rowan wondered as she gathered her hair back into a tight ponytail. She’d left it down after I’d undone it that morning and I was disappointed to see her pull it back again. She was stunning no matter what, but when her hair was flowing free, it was soft and sexy. I often fantasized about how it would look spread out over my pillow or how it would feel when it brushed my chest as she leaned forward while riding me. I don’t know if Rowan felt my heated stare or the sexual tension that was practically suffocating me, but her head turned in my direction. Her eyes were filled with a riot of emotions and she was mindlessly playing with the end of her ponytail.
“We don’t have anywhere to stay,” she rasped, reminding me of her earlier qu
estion.
I cleared my throat and tried to think of anything besides sinking my cock deep inside my mate. “Nathan headed back to Silver Lake yesterday. I’ll call him and he’ll head back here sometime tomorrow. In the meantime, my friend Asher has an apartment in Murray Hill where we can crash.” My mind was already spinning with ideas on how to get her home, but I hadn’t landed on anything solid yet.
“Maybe I should stay in a hotel,” Emerald suggested in a dry tone. “If things get any hotter between you two, I’ll probably spontaneously combust.”
I was about to agree when Rowan threw me a look of reproach. “That’s ridiculous. Jax is going to behave, right?” She narrowed her eyes and her expression threatened retribution if I disagreed.
She would know if I lied, so it wasn’t worth the effort to pretend. I smiled wickedly and shrugged.
Rowan muttered something in Russian, then gestured with a shooing motion of her hand. “Lead the way, Jax. We don’t have all day.”
I smirked but did as she asked. We exited the catacombs and I called Asher on the way to his apartment.
“That must have been some hookup for you to disappear like that,” he drawled by way of greeting. “You don’t usually do more than one night.”
“It wasn’t a hookup,” I grunted.
Rowan’s head almost imperceptibly tilted toward me and her body tensed a little more than usual, making me stifle a smirk. Since I had nothing to hide from her, I didn’t pull away or lower my voice. “I was retrieving my mate.”
Rowan pinched her lips together, her expression one of pained tolerance. It lacked the bite from yesterday, though, and my wolf nudged me, recognizing the same thing I did. She was softening. It was progress.
“Nathan was serious?” Asher sounded shocked.
“Yup. But that’s not why I called.” I redirected our conversation, not wanting to get into the bullshit I knew he would bring up. “I need to crash at your place for at least a few days. Are you back at your cabin?”
“No, but I’m out of town, so feel free to use it. Just make sure my bed is still intact when you leave. Last time—"
I hung up.
Rowan remained stiff as she continued walking and I cursed Asher and his stupid mouth.
“Idiot,” Emerald scoffed from Rowan’s other side. She raised her eyebrows at me, silently asking what the fuck I was going to do about this before she brandished her stake.
“He wasn’t talking about a woman.” If it had been Rowan’s friend saying things like that to her, I’d be flipping my shit. Rowan, on the other hand, was eerily calm and even after knowing her for such a short time, I knew that was a bad sign. Rowan was always moving, full of energy and personality. I’d puzzled out that when she was anxious, she was mostly still, and I was gathering that it was the same when she was angry. Except, it was more like the calm before the storm. And if the mating urges were growing in her, so was the jealousy and possessiveness, which meant it would be one hell of a storm.
“Oh? You were ‘hooking up’ with men?” Rowan asked, her tone light with fake humor.
“Well, no. But about the bed thing.” I sighed and shook my head. “He’s such a shit. This happened around fifteen years ago. He’s just fucking with me.”
“I’m sorry, did you say fucking you or fucking with you?” Emerald asked sweetly.
Rowan snorted and, despite the situation, it made me smile.
“When I’ve had way too much to drink—which doesn’t happen often—I get tired and eventually just pass out and sleep it off. It was Asher’s birthday and he went home with a girl, so I went back to his apartment alone.” I skipped the part where I left alone because our waitress had dragged me into a storage closet and played seven minutes in heaven with my dick. Rowan was the only woman who would ever matter to me now. I didn’t want to throw my past in her face any more than I wanted to be confronted with hers.
“By the time I got there, I was so out of it, I literally fell onto his bed asleep. I’m a big guy and deadweight dropping down like that… well, the bed broke.”
Rowan’s shoulders were shaking, and she put her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. I mentally sighed in relief.
“I didn’t even notice until Asher came home the next day. Clearly, he still razzes me about it. He actually finds it even funnier that it wasn’t caused by… vigorous activity.”
Emerald burst out laughing and Rowan joined her. I hadn’t heard Rowan really laugh and, fuck, it was an incredible sound. My body reacted to it like it was an aphrodisiac and my movements became a little more restricted when my shaft swelled and took up all the extra room in my jeans.
The women were still chuckling over my ridiculous story when we arrived at Asher’s place. I wanted to put Asher’s ass in the ground for upsetting Rowan, but I was also grateful that the story had made her smile and laugh.
We took the elevator to the thirtieth floor and I used the extra fob he’d given me to open the door. I entered first, making sure it was safe before returning to where Rowan and Emerald stood staring at me with amused expressions.
“It’s cute that you think you need to protect us,” Rowan sassed as she sauntered in with Emerald right behind her.
“We all need someone to cover our asses from time to time. And just because someone wants to protect you doesn’t mean they believe you are incapable of the job.”
“Touché,” she remarked with a smile.
Emerald set the carrier on the dining room table and unlatched it, allowing Malfoy to scamper out. He immediately went exploring while Rowan set up his litter box and Emerald filled his bowls with food and water.
“I need coffee,” Emerald announced as she traipsed back into the open kitchen. “Tea, Ro?”
“Sure,” Rowan mumbled as she took a look around. After a short period of perusal, she flipped around and asked, “Are you this neat and tidy all the time? Because I’m not a slob or anything, but this place is practically pristine.”
The fact that she was asking meant that she had at least considered the idea of living with me and I took that as another victory. “No, baby,” I assured her. “Asher was in the military for fifteen years. This is just habit for him now.”
She had stopped wandering by the door to one of the bedrooms and she peeked her head inside. “Where will Emerald and I be sleeping?”
“That depends,” I murmured as I prowled over to where she was standing. She backed up slowly and I kept the same pace until we were alone in the bedroom.
She swallowed hard when I was almost toe to toe with her. “On?” Her voice had a little tremble in it and her arousal was saturating the air around us.
“Whether you want to wake with a man, or a wolf, wrapped around you.”
Rowan sputtered and took one more step only to find herself against a wall. I bent down and caged her in with my arms. “I guess if Wolfgang wants to sleep with me again,” she mused, her pretty eyes twinkling.
“Wolfgang, huh?” My head dipped down and I whispered a kiss over her forehead, her eyes, nose, and cheeks. “I don’t think it’s the idea of sleeping with my wolf that’s making you wet, baby.”
“I’m not—"
I chuckled as my lips slid along her jaw. “I may not have your ability to tell when someone is lying all the time, but you can’t hide how much you want me, Rowan. That smell is becoming an addiction. It’s torture not to be able to do anything about it, but I can’t stop breathing it in because I need my fix.”
Her breath was uneven, making her chest rise and fall, giving me a tantalizing glimpse of her luscious breasts in the scooped neck of her tunic. I could see the hard peaks of her nipples pressing against her shirt and my mouth watered at the thought of tasting them.
“You’re fighting a losing battle, Rowan. You are mine and letting you go is not an option.”
I raised my head high enough to look down at her face as she stared up at me. Her lavender eyes were swirling with thoughts and emotions, too many for me to decipher
where her head was at. I was stunned when she rose onto her toes and pressed her lips against mine. Her arms wound around my neck and I used one hand on her ass to boost her so that her legs wrapped around my waist. With the other hand, I yanked out her ponytail and buried it in her thick, silky tresses.
The heat between her legs was burning through the fabric of our clothes and my cock throbbed, yearning to be inside her. I wanted to feel that heat wrapped completely around me while she writhed and moaned as she fell apart in my embrace.
Her tongue was as eager to taste as mine and I angled her head to deepen the kiss. I needed to claim her. To fuck her. To tie her to me with such completion that she could never walk away. My teeth elongated and Rowan broke the kiss to stare into my eyes. We watched each other in silence, the only sound coming from our panting breaths and the beating of our racing hearts. I couldn’t read her face; she gave away nothing of her thoughts and the only thing I could do was wait for her to make the next move. My gaze fell to the unblemished skin of her neck and my wolf pushed hard, forcing my fangs to drop completely. I inhaled deeply and held it in my lungs when her head shifted, just the slightest bit, to the left. It fell a little more and her hair slid away, exposing the perfect spot between her neck and shoulder, the ideal place to leave my mark so that no one would mistake it for anything but a claim.
“Rowan? I think you should get out of here.”
Rowan started at the sound of Emerald’s voice and the spell was broken. She wiggled to be freed and I had no choice but to either throw her on the bed and fuck her or let her go. I was teetering on the side of the former until Emerald came into the room and flicked on the light, causing us both to wince.
“Sorry, Fido, I need my girl.”
