She’s been so stressed since the fire. Thankfully, Jessica wasn’t injured too severely, and she hasn’t had too many complications with the pregnancy.
“No matter what, you and Grayson will handle it, but so far, all the tests have been good?”
She smiles. “They have. And I have to trust it.”
“You do.”
Jessica jerks her head over. “What is going on with Alex?”
I turn to see him standing there, staring out at everyone. “I’m not sure. He’s been different since he’s been back.”
“I noticed the same.”
“Do you think it has to do with the whole thing with their dad?”
Alex was closer to Mitchell than his brothers were. I don’t know if the closeness was reciprocated, but we used to joke about how his father did no wrong in his eyes. I can’t imagine it’s easy for him to know just how low his father would go for his own gratification.
“It could be. Gray hasn’t mentioned anything, but that doesn’t mean anything. His father is basically dead to him.”
I nod. “I don’t blame him.”
Regardless, it can’t be easy. Leaving the family business, the financial security that came with it, and the future they had laid out is a difficult choice. It probably was the best thing that could’ve happened though because it brought the family back together.
“Me either. I’ll make sure I have Alex over soon.”
Jessica would win awards for her kindness. It’s a miracle she’s friends with me. “I swear, you’re the only reason people still like me.”
“Me?” she asks in high-pitched disbelief.
“Yes. You’re the sweet one and balance out my sass.”
Jess laughs. “I balance none of that. You haven’t lost an ounce of it.”
“No, but it’s why guys always loved you. You were sunshine where I was a thunderstorm.”
She bumps my hip. “Since you brought up the topic of guys. I heard a rumor.”
Of course she did. “A rumor?”
“About a certain car outside your house the other day.”
Jesus. This town is so damn predictable. “He came by.”
“For a few hours?”
“It wasn’t a few.”
“And what were you doing in your time together?” Jess asks with a smirk.
“Seems you already made assumptions.”
“I know that you’re a grown-up and are capable of making your own decisions.”
I take a sip of my champagne and then sigh. “I am. Thank you for the trust.”
“I trust you not to be that stupid. Plus, we all know sex complicates things, and you wouldn’t do that to yourself.”
“Nope,” I lie.
“Good. I’ll set people straight. Gray heard it too, and Josh assured him there was no validity to the rumor.”
Oh, he did? How nice of him to give me a heads-up. “There you have it.” My tone is a little clipped.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I just . . . I hate that people are talking about me. It’s stupid and petty, you know? I walked in on Fred and Bill giving Josh a sit down about how he needs to be smart and ask me out. None of that is needed, you know? I am over Josh. I don’t want to date Josh. I’m . . .”
Jess laughs softly. “Over him?”
“Yes.”
I don’t know why I’m bothered by all this. People love to mind everyone else’s business while ignoring their own. It’s human nature, but I don’t understand why they’re invested in this. Josh and I are adults and there is no misunderstanding about what we are or what we’re doing.
I’m someone who is madly in love with him, in denial that I’m not, and sleeping with him as often as I can so that, when he leaves, I have something to hold on to.
That’s all.
Josh is a guy who feels nothing for me, other than lust. And . . . I’m okay with that.
Mostly.
Not really.
Okay, not at all, but I’m good at lying about it.
As if summoned by this conversation, all four Parkerson brothers approach.
Grayson’s hand slides around his wife’s back, resting on her belly. “How are you?”
She looks up, adoration so thick in her eyes it steals my breath. “I’m good.”
“No sickness?”
Oliver gags. “I’m going to be.”
I laugh, but Gray does not look amused. “Shut up.”
“All I’m saying is that the two of you should be over this phase by now.”
Jess sighs. “One day, the three of you are each going to meet a woman who makes your heart flutter, and we’ll see how long it lasts.”
“Great, now we get advice from our sister-in-law too,” Josh says under his breath.
“I don’t give advice,” Jess counters. “I tell you the truth.”
“Which is just another word for advice,” I tack on.
“Hey!” she admonishes my way. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with any of this shit,” Alex says, lifting his beer bottle.
“What shit?” Jess asks.
“Nothing.”
“I think Alex is feeling left out,” I say, knowing that is absolutely not what he’s saying. He huffs, which I take as permission to carry on. “See, I think Alex likes someone, but he’s too stubborn or stupid to say anything.”
Oliver perks up at this. “Really?”
I nod.
“And who might our brother be lusting for? Please tell me it’s someone we can give him shit for.”
Alex clears his throat. “I don’t have feelings for anyone in this town.”
“What about Odette?” Grayson so helpfully asks.
“I don’t feel anything for her. We actually talked last week and both agreed to let this shit between us stop.”
I loop my arm through his and smile. “A truce for the woman you love?”
“Ohhh.” Jessica beams. “You want me to talk to her about what a great catch you are?”
His eyes widen. “Are we fifteen? No, I don’t want you—or anyone else for that matter—to talk to her.”
Odette is the owner of the company that’s building the Firefly Resort. She’s beautiful, smart, and unequivocally attracted to Alex. When I asked him about it, he said they hooked up but it was one night that he’s tried to forget.
“I promise, love isn’t what’s on my mind. It’s more about how being back here . . . it’s making me itch.”
“Itch for the woman you love?” Jess teases.
“Absolutely not.”
“I’m not sure about that,” I say with a teasing grin.
“I used to love you.”
“You still do.”
Alex shakes his head. “We should be talking about why Josh was at your house the other day.” Josh’s glare should cause Alex to combust, but he smiles back at him. “What? Don’t like the subject change?”
“What does it matter?” Josh asks.
I clear my throat. “It wasn’t a big deal. I don’t get why you care.”
Alex’s brow raises and he turns to me. “Oh? You don’t get why? Maybe you forgot that I was your best friend when we were kids.” He turns to Josh. “Well, what were you doing over there?”
“He came to see the floors,” I answer Alex.
“I was picking something up.” Josh speaks at the same time.
“Which is it?” Alex prods.
I can feel Josh’s anger radiating, and I’m sure everyone else can too. He doesn’t like to be questioned, and he definitely doesn’t like lying, so this situation is going to come to a head very quickly if I don’t defuse it.
“Odette!” I call her name, waving at her. “I wanted to ask you something.”
She comes over, smiling at everyone. “Of course, what can I help with?”
“It’s a decorating thing, actually,” I say quickly. “I was telling Josh the other day about how I’m going to be r
emodeling my cabin soon.”
“Oh! That’s wonderful.”
I smile. “Yes, I’m really excited. Josh was saying I should do the kitchen, but it’s a huge undertaking. Grayson is going to do the floors in just one room for me, right, Gray?” I shift to him.
“Yeah, this week.” He looks to Josh. “Are you helping too?”
“Yes. I told Delia when I took her home after the cake debacle that I would.”
I release a heavy sigh. The mood and discussion changes as the brothers start talking about the best way to rip up the floor and lay the new one. I couldn’t care less if they talk about this for hours because it means they’re not discussing me or Josh.
Just then, Alex turns to us. “Okay, we have a plan.”
“Oh? Should I be scared?”
“Don’t worry. We’ve got this. Josh is going to stop by tonight to re-measure since Grayson is known to be a bit of a dumbass when it comes to writing things down, and then we’ll get to work.”
“This all sounds promising,” I say with a smile.
“It is. Take a walk with me?” Alex asks with his hand extended.
“Umm . . . okay.” I follow him out, walking toward the bar area. “Is everything okay?” I ask.
“I’m not sure, Deals.”
Alex has always been hard to read. He’s not like his siblings in so many ways. Josh is the protector, always looking for ways to help everyone. Grayson is the provider, who ensures things run smoothly. Stella is the manager in every freaking way, and Oliver is the playful one. He makes sure that everyone remembers to relax a little, but Alex, well, he’s serious and a little broken.
“Just start at the beginning and go from there.”
Alex runs his fingers through his dark hair. “Being back in this town is like a fucking time warp. Do you ever feel that way?”
I laugh. “Yes. I think everyone here does.”
“I love my siblings, but . . .”
“But?”
He sighs, looking out at the trees. “I don’t belong here.”
“What about the resort?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I’m not going to leave, but I hate this damn town. I hate having to see my mother and worry about running into my father. But it’s like nothing has changed, and yet, everything has . . .”
His eyes move over to where Winnie stands. A long time ago, Alex had feelings for Winnie, but he never acted on them.
“Still?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “No, not still. I’m happy she’s happy. But that’s the thing, it’s like everyone fits in here.”
“You do too, Alex. You’re a Parkerson.”
“I know, and when I came back, I didn’t really think about it. Gray needed us, and I would never leave my brother hanging.” I take a sip of my champagne, waiting for him to say more. “Forget it,” he says with a laugh. “I’m being a fucking idiot. Willow Creek is my home, and my siblings are what matter.”
There’s more he wants to say, but my asking him to elaborate won’t help. So, I just smile.
“You’re a good man.”
“I’m also smart.”
“And humble,” I add.
“My smart comment was because I see what the hell is going on with you and Josh.”
I take another sip, not wanting to implicate myself. He’s as good at waiting as I am, though. “There’s nothing with me and Josh.”
He tilts his head to the side. “Really?”
“Yup.”
“Okay then.”
“I’m over him,” I say again for the benefit of both of us.
“Right.”
“I am.”
I look over at Josh, who is staring back at me. My heart is pounding, and I feel dizzy. God, he’s so damn hot. I want to run to him, pull him into the woods, and get dirty in a whole other way.
I need a shrink.
I look back to Alex, and he chuckles. “Right. You’re completely over him.”
I wonder how long it’ll take before I start believing my own lie.
Chapter 7
Joshua
Sometimes things are just perfect. This is one of those times. I was tasked with coming over to Delia’s home to measure.
That’s not all I plan to do on the floor here.
She’s still wearing the dress she had on at Stella’s party, and I fight back the urge to maul her.
“Hey.”
She swallows deeply and lets out a slow sigh. “Hi. Look, you don’t have to do this. I’m sure you have better things to do.”
I grin at the opening. “I can think of a few things that are better for the floor than measuring.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Now I feel like a dick. “Right. Of course not.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to have sex again,” Delia says quickly.
“Okay.”
“It’s that it’s stupid, Josh. We’re going to have to explain this to your brothers or sister. I don’t . . . I don’t want to have to hear about how dumb I am.”
“Why would we have to tell them anything, but more importantly, why do you think you’re dumb?”
“Because . . . every single person who has accused me of sleeping with you has told me so. And maybe they’re right. Maybe I am and deluding myself into thinking I’m okay with just a random hookup.”
“We’re not random, Delia.”
She huffs and keeps going. “It’s not like I’ve done a good job at being over you. I mean, I am. I’m over you. If you didn’t know.”
“That’s reassuring.”
“But that doesn’t change the fact that, for a very long time, I was not over you.”
I purse my lips and nod slowly. “But you are now?”
“Yeah. In the sense that I’m not secretly writing Mrs. Delia Parkerson in my diary anymore. We’re friends who just happen to fuck, right?”
“Yes, we’re friends, Delia. Plus, we’re not doing anything wrong.”
“Oh, I know that. I’m a thirty-two-year-old, grown-ass woman. I’m not looking for love—not from you, at least. I get it.”
I try not to be offended by that last part, but I am. “Nope. Not from me.”
She lets out a laugh. “Don’t even. You know you don’t love me, and you won’t.”
She’s wrong. It’s not that I won’t or don’t love her. It’s that loving her doesn’t change my feelings toward relationships. I can love her and also keep that part of me at a distance.
“It’s not because of you.”
“It’s you,” Delia says without pause. “I don’t understand it, but it’s fine.”
I wish, for just one moment, I could lay it all out there. To share the pain and the heartache of my past, but it won’t change things. It won’t heal me. Some days, I don’t understand why I can’t just let go of the past, but I can’t. The one thing I do know is that I will never, ever love someone just so they can be taken from me again.
No fucking way.
It’s better for everyone involved if we keep things like this.
“It’s not fine.”
She rubs her temple and steps back. “Maybe it’s not, but it’s reality.”
“Yeah, it is.”
Delia’s eyes turn watery, but she forces a smile. “I’m sorry. I am being emotional, and you don’t deserve it. I think seeing Stella so happy today just made me a little off. Why don’t you come in and measure so we can actually do the floors?”
I enter the cabin, and Delia heads off to another room. I grab my tape measure and get to work, writing down everything so that my brothers and I can order the material and get this done for her.
When I’m finished, I walk toward the bedroom and find her half-dressed. “Hey.”
She turns, pulling the shirt over her head so I can no longer stare at her perfect breasts.
“Hey. You done?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.”
“Are you heading to work?” I ask.
“No
, today is my day off. I’m going to Jess’s for pizza night.”
My sister-in-law is a menace who I’m going to throttle. Well, I would if she weren’t pregnant and in love with my brother.
Still, she did this on purpose. I know it.
“How about I drive you over?”
“You’re going too?”
“I am,” I say, and then Delia bursts out laughing. “For the first time ever.”
“When did she ask you?”
“Two days ago.”
She laughs harder. “God, she’s so damn transparent.”
“Meaning we’re being set up.”
Delia nods. “I love her and all, but . . . they really need some skill when it comes to being sneaky. She called me two days ago, asking if I wanted to do pizza night because Amelia was sad that Stella and Jack hadn’t been over in a while.”
“She said the same thing to me, but she added that Alex and Oliver were busy so I had to come.”
“And we all know you can’t say no to anything for Amelia,” Delia says with a grin.
“I’m putty in that little girl’s hands.”
I love Melia and would do just about anything she asks. This is especially true if I know it’s going to piss off Grayson, which was why she got a violin for Christmas last year. Nothing says holidays like the screeching of a violin at five in the morning.
“Well, seeing that we’re both going, how about I drive?”
“You want to go there together?” Delia asks. “Not in separate cars?”
“Is that a problem?”
She bites her thumbnail. “No, it just means you have to drive me home.”
Where I will pray she asks me to come in . . .
“I figured as much.”
Delia sighs. “Okay. Sure. Why not?”
I have a hundred reasons, most of them are sexual, but I keep my mouth shut and follow her out to my car.
“Do you think my new sister will like dolls?” Amelia asks, dumping a bucket of plastic people on the floor.
“I’m sure she will.”
Amelia ponders that as her head tilts to the side. “Lauren Bennett says dolls are stupid and she hates them. She likes to read.”
“Everyone likes different things. When we were little, your dad hated baseball and liked football, but I loved baseball.”
A Moment for Us Page 4
