“We are so going to talk about this,” Stella warns.
The tears that were threatening before return. “I know, just not today. Can you give me a few days?”
“Is it Josh’s?”
I nod and wipe away the tear that finally fell. “A few days, Stella. I just need a few days.”
She hugs me, and the resolve I was holding on to threatens to break. “A few days.”
Not that anything is going to change, but I need to at least get an appointment with my doctor and find out why my body is lying.
“You’re pregnant.”
“No. Run it again.”
Not that the sixteen pregnancy tests I took the last four days have been different, but still.
“Delia, I promise, you’re pregnant.”
I shake my head and groan. “How? How is this possible! We use condoms, and yes, we had one break, but I’m on the pill. What the hell are the odds? Because we had like a one hundred and ninety-eight percent chance of no baby. We should have a negative percent chance between my birth control and his condom . . . literally . . . no baby!”
Dr. Locke smiles sympathetically. “It doesn’t exactly work that way, but I understand what you’re saying with all the precautions you took. However, something failed.”
“You think?”
She laughs. “I don’t mean it that way.”
“Can I sue someone?”
“No.”
“Well, I want to.”
“I’m sure you do.” She attempts to be understanding.
“Then answer this because I need to know, how? How did my birth control, which I take at the exact same time every day, fail me?”
She places my paperwork down and exhales. “You didn’t miss a pill?”
“No.”
“Okay, what about being sick? Sometimes if you’re throwing up a lot, like with a stomach bug, the pill may not have had a chance to get into your bloodstream.”
I shake my head. “None of that.”
“St. John’s Wort?”
I scrunch my nose. “No. Don’t take that.”
“Okay, well, any antibiotics or . . . anything?”
“No, I’ve been . . .” I trail off. Medication. That day. The day the condom broke. “I took migraine meds.”
“Which one?”
I pull out the list of medications and vitamins I take. “These can lessen the effects of birth control, and we highly encourage you to use a condom.”
Jesus. I remember that now. It was what the doctor mentioned when I was given them. At that point, I wasn’t having sex, so it didn’t matter.
I laugh because, really, what else can I do? “I did use a condom! It broke! This can’t be happening. This just can’t.”
Dr. Locke clasps her hands in front of her. “I’m not sure what to say. I know a child wasn’t exactly in your plans, and I don’t know about your situation, but there are options.”
I close my eyes, feeling the weight of the world settling around me. “I need to talk to the father first.”
“Of course.”
There may be options, but there’s only one choice for me. I’m going to have a baby. I may not have planned for it, but the reality is that I’ve always wanted a family. This isn’t exactly how I thought I would achieve that, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s how it happened.
If I were younger, I may do what Stella did and allow another family to give the child the best life possible, but I’m not eighteen. I have a great job, a home, and I have support. My mother will be over the damn moon once she recovers from the shock.
It’s Josh who’s the unknown.
Chapter 13
Joshua
The last time I saw Delia was not my finest moment, but the woman fucks my head up. She says we’re done, then comes around, we have sex, and then she storms out.
I’m not sure what the hell to do about it.
“What’s got you all screwed up?” Alex asks as he heads toward me.
Alexander and I both live at Melia Lake. Our RVs are far enough apart that we don’t feel like we’re on top of each other, and I like it that way.
“Who says I’m screwed up?”
He laughs. “You’re clearly thinking about something intense. Is it because we just broke ground and it’s already a nightmare?”
“That’s par for the course, isn’t it?”
Alex shrugs and then hands me the box of pizza he was carrying. “I guess. It’s been a while since I was on site during construction.”
The way he says it causes me to pause. “Do you miss it?”
“Miss what?”
“Architecture. I know you had a plan.”
“My plan didn’t fit into Dad’s.” Alex’s voice is hard.
“Still, you never wanted to run the family business.”
He sits in his chair, grabbing his beer. “I definitely didn’t. I sure as fuck never had dreams of being back in Willow Creek either, but . . .”
“But there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for family.”
Before he answers, he takes a long pull from the bottle. “At least, for you guys, there’s not.” He leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “Did I tell you that Oliver called and asked if either of us would give up our RV?”
I chuckle. “No, I guess things aren’t so great at Grayson’s?”
“Would you want to live there?”
“Hell no,” I say with a grin. “I love Amelia, but that can’t be fun twenty-four seven.”
“He said he woke up yesterday and found a mangled doll staring at him.”
I burst out laughing. “I want to feel bad for him, but . . .”
“It’s Oliver.”
I nod. “If anyone deserves this, it’s him.”
“Right, with all the practical jokes and hell he caused when we were kids, I’m enjoying this torture.”
“Plus,” I say after I swallow a bite of pizza, “he likes to go on and on about how everyone in the family loves him the most.”
Alex leans back in the lawn chair with a sigh. “Still, it’s going to be cold here soon, and I’m not looking forward to that.”
“Yeah, but we have a pretty good setup.”
He looks over at me. “You think living in a portable home is a good setup?”
I shrug. “Do you think about settling down at all?”
Alex shakes his head. “Not really.”
“Maybe we should look for a place that’s more of a home than an RV.”
Maybe then Alex wouldn’t feel so out of place. If we had a place that was ours, it would give us a sense of normalcy.
“For who?” he asks.
“The three of us. You, me, and Oliver. We could find a much nicer cabin if we go in together.”
“I hadn’t thought of it.”
In a way, we’ve all been in denial that we actually moved back here, so it isn’t shocking that one of us thought to actually buy a place. I don’t want to live in a shithole, and Willow Creek is a strange area to buy. You have the insanely expensive homes or the small ones that no one wants to share.
Yet there’s something about buying a home with my two brothers that has me hesitating. I don’t want to be this guy. The one who lives forever with his brothers because it’s easier that way. They should get married, have kids, be happy.
“Don’t you want a family?” I ask.
“Me?”
“Come on, Alex, we both know you’re not like me. You’ve always been more like Gray.”
He laughs and lets out a long sigh. “I guess. I want kids and all that, but my life’s a fucking shitshow right now.”
“How?”
He shakes his head quickly. “Nothing, it’ll be fine. I don’t know that I want to rush into anything, and buying a house sort of locks us into staying here.”
“I think opening the resort did that,” I say with a laugh. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Alex shrugs. “Then you buy a big house, and Oliver and I will li
ve with you.”
“Gee, thanks,” I say with sarcasm.
“Well, you’re never getting married or having a family.”
I’ve said that a hundred times—more than that, but when he said it with that finality, it bugged me.
Or maybe it upsets me because, when he said it, I thought of Delia.
No, this is what women do. They get in your head, make these stupid ideas seem possible, and then tragedy strikes washing the dream away.
I shove all of it down and use a different angle to decide against this.
“Why would I buy a big house for you, me, and Oliver to live in when I know you’ll both leave?”
“Investment.”
I point over at where the construction is happening. “I have one of those.”
“This is different.”
“Listen, I did this RV thing because, once the resort is built, I plan to live on the property. I don’t need to buy a house for you and Oliver, my stupid brothers who have their own money.”
Alex rubs the back of his neck. “I get it. I just don’t want to be living in the RV during winter. A foot of snow does not equal fun when trying to run the generator.”
He has a point. “Maybe we rent a house during the winter.”
“We could. Delia mentioned her extra room the other day. I’m thinking of taking her up on it. At least then I’m not locked in.”
My anger surges so quickly I don’t have time to temper my response. “Yeah, that’s not a good idea.”
Alex’s gaze snaps to mine. “Why the hell not?”
“Because you’d be in her way.”
“Last I checked she and I were still best friends,” Alex challenges. “Not sure how the hell I’d be in the way. She’s not dating anyone and she offered. What am I missing, Josh?”
He and Delia have been friends since they were kids. I know my brother doesn’t see her that way, and still, I want to punch him in the face at the suggestion of him being in a house with her.
I get to my feet, needing to move and get control of myself. “I . . .”
“You?”
Hate him.
I glare at Alex, who just smirks. “I’ll answer that for you, Josh. You are a fucking asshole. You have liked her and wanted something with Delia for years. You’re afraid of love, human relationships, anything that can hurt you. But, the best part of that is, you’re afraid of someone else stepping in and doing what you can’t for her. Let her fucking go. She deserves better than you.”
“I know that.”
“Do you? Because that woman has a heart bigger than any of us knows. And for some unknown reason, she fucking loves you when you’ve done nothing to earn it.”
I move back to the chair and sit. “We slept together,” I confess.
Alex just stares at me. After a few times of opening and closing his mouth, he groans. “Jesus. When?”
“A few times over the last few months.”
“Josh, I’m going to kill you if you hurt her. I’m telling you this as your brother and someone who has looked up to you my entire life, I will never forgive you if you hurt her.”
There is anger in his voice, and I deserve it all. For my whole life, I’ve tried to be more of a father than a brother. I did everything I could to be a good man because we all knew our father was incapable of it.
Hearing Alex makes me wonder if I’m any better.
And right now, I don’t think he believes so.
“I care about her.”
He shakes his head, looking down at the ground. “If you did, you won’t lead her on.”
“I’m not. We were both fully aware of what we were doing. I never made her promises. She doesn’t expect anything more.”
This time, he gets to his feet. “She. Loves. You! She has always loved you. Of course she expects more!”
“If she did, she wouldn’t have been the one to put an end to it.”
He moves out of my view, standing at the edge of the tree line. When he turns back a few seconds later, the anger seems to have gone out of him a little.
Before he can speak, headlights shine from the access road and head toward us.
Alex lets out a low laugh. “Well, it seems you’re about to eat your words, Josh.”
I turn and see it’s Delia’s car.
Chapter 14
Delia
I should’ve called first. Maybe then I wouldn’t be scrambling with what the hell to say to Alex.
There’s no way in hell I’m going to tell Josh I’m pregnant in front of Alex.
Josh walks over to the car, opening the door. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
“Are you okay?” he asks with concern.
Oh, shit. Maybe Stella already told him. No. She said she wouldn’t, and if she had, he would have probably hunted me down to find out if it were true. “Why do you ask?”
Josh looks over to where Alex is standing. “Just that you didn’t call, and it’s late.”
My pounding heart slows a little. He doesn’t know.
“Yeah, we just have to talk.”
He gives me a soft smile and extends his hand, helping me out. When we get closer to Josh’s RV, I wave at Alex. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask, noting the way his jaw is clenched and he keeps shifting his weight.
“Just a disagreement with Josh.”
That’s nothing new. Since Alex moved back to Willow Creek, something has been bothering him. He hasn’t confided in me about it, but that’s the way he’s always been. He has to fix the problem a hundred ways—usually the wrong ways—in his head before he can talk about it. I’ve learned that pushing him is not the way to get him to hurry up and spill his problems.
“I see.”
“I’m going to head back home, get a fire going, and have a beer. Want to come?” he asks.
“Not this time.” My eyes move to where Josh is leaning against the door to the RV. “I need to run some things by Josh—about the renovation.”
“Okay.” Alex’s voice indicates he doesn’t believe me. “I’ll see you later.” He walks over and kisses my cheek. “Call if you need me.”
I wink at him and smile.
He gives his brother a mock salute with two fingers and then is gone. “Did you and Alex fight?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“He’s not happy with me.”
“I could see that. Why is he mad?”
Josh looks out at the woods. “It doesn’t matter.”
Okay then.
I sigh deeply, knowing that if I don’t just get this out, then we’re going to be in a whole other world of hell. I am already nervous and on the verge of puking, which is a feeling I might as well get used to. However, this isn’t hormones, this is fear.
Josh goes to open his mouth, and I beat him to it.
“I’m pregnant.”
His head jerks back, eyes wide, and even in the dark, I can see the color drain from his face.
“I just found out a few hours ago. Apparently, the night the condom broke, my birth control also failed because of the migraine medication I took. I wanted to tell you once it was confirmed, and . . . well, it’s confirmed. I’m pregnant, and I don’t need or want anything from you. In fact, we don’t even have to tell people it’s yours if you don’t want.” I wring my hands together and then rest them on my stomach. “I know you . . . don’t want kids. I get it. I do, but I thought I’d have a husband or at least someone who loves me. Silly, I know. But this is the reality, right? We’re having a baby. I’m having a baby, I guess is what I should say. Again, I don’t want anything. Not money or commitment.” I stop my rambling, waiting for him to say something.
Josh takes a few steps toward the chair and then sits. “You’re pregnant?”
“I said that. Yes, I am.”
I also can’t seem to speak without it being a large burst of words or just a few.
“And you didn’t plan this.”
I knew it was com
ing. I knew, and I prepared for it, and yet, it still feels as though I was slapped. Tears fill my eyes, but I don’t let them fall. Instead, I swallow the hurt and focus on being pissed. “No. I didn’t plan this. I didn’t want this. In fact, I prayed it wasn’t real as it was all happening. Also, how does one plan for the condom to break?”
“I didn’t mean . . .”
“Yes, you did. You meant it because you know I have been in love with you, wanted whatever I could get of you, but I didn’t want this, Josh. I didn’t want a baby that you didn’t want.”
He sighs and then runs his fingers through his thick hair. “I really didn’t mean that, Delia. I don’t think you planned this.”
“I swear, I was just as shocked as you are when I found out. Well, maybe not as much as you since I took about fifteen pregnancy tests over the last few days.”
“Why didn’t you tell me then?” he asks, his voice more concerned than angry.
“I was in denial. I thought—more like hoped—the doctor would confirm the tests were wrong and it was some weird thing that was not, in fact, a baby.”
“But it is.” Josh says it like a statement but it sounds like a question.
“Yes.”
The new reality of our lives shifts into place as we stand here. I’m going to be a mother, and Josh, regardless of his plans or wants, is going to be a father.
When the silence becomes uncomfortable and my anxiety builds, I shift from foot to foot and reiterate, “You don’t have to do anything.”
His head whips quickly to look at me. “What?”
“I just mean that you don’t have to be a part of anything. I know how you feel about kids, and . . . I can do this on my own. Financially and emotionally. Of course, I want you to be. You’re a great man, and I know you’ll be a good dad. It’s your choice, and I won’t force you into anything.”
There. I’ve said my piece. He can be a part of things or not, but I won’t push his choice either way. I have a great support system, and if he doesn’t want to be a father to our child, then so be it. There will be enough uncles and aunts that the baby will never go without love or a male figure in their life.
A Moment for Us Page 8
