Her.
“What if you get sick of me?” I ask her, resting my cheek in her palm.
“Never.”
The promise slays me in so many ways. “You say that now, love.”
Delia lifts her other hand, taking my face in her grasp. “I love you, Josh, and I think you love me too.”
Her brown eyes shine with all the promises of a future. “I do,” I admit.
“You love me?” she asks, the tears pooling again.
“I think I always have, but I can’t say it . . . I can’t trust myself.”
Delia leans in, her lips touch mine, and I’m fucking done. The emotions overwhelm me, and my need for her crashes like a wave on the shore. I can’t stop it. I can’t do anything but hold her as I get lost in the current. My fingers tangle in her long hair, guiding her mouth to fit better against mine.
“Josh,” she moans, and I swallow it.
Carefully, I move her so she’s on her back, close my lips around her nipple, and suck. She gasps and makes soft noises as I move to the other. “God, yes,” she says as I bite gently.
My hand moves down her torso, stopping just briefly over her swollen belly. I love that she’s growing heavy with our children. That something I thought I never wanted is happening, and it’s happening with her. My God, I’m a lucky fucking bastard.
I keep moving, wanting to touch another part of her. To make her feel the passion she brings out in me. The hope she rekindled.
“I want you so much,” I tell her as I lift my head from her breast. “I want to make you come so hard that you pass out after. I am going to take you higher and higher until the fall makes you afraid, and I’m going to push you over it.” She arches her back, and my finger slides under the seam of her panties. I touch there, knowing that she’s aching for it. “Do you want that, Delia?” I ask. “Do you want me to make you come?”
“Yes.”
I increase the pressure, just barely, and she lets out a deep throaty sound. “Does that feel good?”
“So good. You always feel good.”
I smile. “Do you want more?”
“Please.”
“So polite,” I murmur as I kiss her belly on my way to where I want her most. “So beautiful.” I kiss her lower and then pull her pants off. She lies there like a goddamn goddess before me. Her blonde hair spread out around her, eyes gleaming with passion, and her trust on full display. Delia doesn’t move as she allows me to look at her, see her, take her. “So fucking perfect.”
She shakes her head. “No, not perfect.”
“To me, you are. To me, you’re everything.” I kiss her thigh and then move up, running my tongue along her clit.
“Josh.” She sighs, and I do it again. I flick, lick, and suck. I want her shaking and desperate for me to take her to the peak. I need to be that man today. To do for her, give her, show her just how much she’s ruined me.
I will never be the same again. Not after this time. When we had sex before, there was a part of me that I held back. I wasn’t able to let myself love, not really. Now, she owns everything that I am, even the marred pieces of my soul that drowned that day.
My tongue swipes hard, moving fast, flicking her clit as she grips the sheets. I don’t stop or let up. I want to hear her scream my name. To know that I’m the one. The only one who can make her crazy this way.
“God. Josh. Please!” she yells, and I slip a finger into her, pumping in and out as I suck harder. “Josh. Oh, God. I’m going to come.”
I keep it up, and then I feel her muscles contract as she cries out. After the last of the spasms fade, I lift up, staring at her all flushed and sated.
Her eyes meet mine, and she smiles. “I need you, Joshua. I need you to make love to me.”
I need it more than she can ever know. “This time will be different.”
“I know.”
“I won’t be able to let you go.”
“I never wanted to be anything else but yours.” She leans up and pushes my pants down. As I kick them off my ankles, Delia runs her fingers up my arms and then along my jaw. “Make love to me, Josh.”
I move my hips, feeling her heat beckoning me. “Condom?”
She smiles. “It’s a little late for that.”
I push closer, my cock just at her entrance. She trusts me, and I don’t know that I deserve it. I know I don’t deserve her. This woman with a heart the size of Texas and the strength of Atlas.
As though she can read my mind, she lifts her hips slightly, pushing me deeper into her.
The warmth envelopes me, and I close my eyes.
“Take me, Josh. Take me because I have always been yours.”
I open them, seeing the truth in her gaze. Without another thought, my hips move forward and I make love to her.
Chapter 26
Delia
Waking up in Josh’s arms is new and dreamlike. A part of me, the one that has had this particular fantasy a billion times, is waiting for the weight of his arm to disappear and the sound of his heartbeat to be an alarm clock.
But the steady strum keeps it’s beat beneath my ear. His arm doesn’t disappear, in fact, it tightens around me.
I lift my eyelid, peeking up to see him looking at me with a lazy grin. “Good morning.”
“Morning.”
His hand rubs up and down my spine. “I don’t remember the last time I slept past six.”
I glance at the clock and gasp. “Holy shit! It’s eleven!”
Josh chuckles. “It is. Seems we were both a little worn out.”
The ache between my legs agrees. Last night was amazingly slow and perfect. The two of us giving ourselves to everything in the past and . . . well, I’ll never forget it.
The next two times. Yeah, that was fun. Sweaty, messy, sex that made me thankful for the extra blood flow from the pregnancy. Wow.
“I could do with being worn out from that,” I tell him, resting my chin on my hand.
“Same.”
“We didn’t get to sleep until four, so it doesn’t shock me we slept half the day away.”
He pushes the hair back behind my ear. “Are you okay?”
I hear the fear in his voice, and it causes my stomach to drop. “Do you still want to be here with me?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’m fine.”
He smiles. “We just aired out a lot of shit last night.”
I sit up a bit, pulling the sheet around me. “We did, but I think it needed to be done.”
Josh releases a long breath through his nose. “I guess. I haven’t told anyone about Morgan. My siblings don’t know. Honestly, I just couldn’t talk about it.”
“No one knew you were together?”
Josh pushes himself up, resting his back on the headboard. “I didn’t want anyone to know things about me. My father used whatever he could to manipulate people in his life. I watched him break my mother down, bit by bit. When I was eight, he took me with him to meet his mistress. He figured my mother wouldn’t think that was what he was doing if he brought his kid. So, I learned to keep my personal life far away from him. Look at what he did to Stella and Jack and to Grayson and Jessica. Hell, do you remember the girl Alex liked when he was in high school? All my mother and father cared about was appearances, and Morgan was funny, sweet, and would’ve been eaten alive by them.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It sucked, but it was better that way. I didn’t tell my brothers or Stella in the beginning because we were so new, plus, they’re a lot younger than me. We were only together a year before the hurricane and when I was going to finally tell them, I lost her.”
“But they could’ve been there for you.”
His eyes meet mine. “I hated myself. I didn’t want comfort. I still don’t want comfort.”
“Well, too bad,” I say with defiance. He may not want it, but I’m going to give it.
He smiles. “This won’t be easy. It’s been ten years, and I still haven’t forgiven myse
lf.”
I shift so I’m resting against his strong chest. “I don’t expect easy. Nothing is easy. I understand grief. My mother is still dealing with the unexpected loss of my dad. She punishes herself, whether she believes it or not because he had been showing signs of heart problems, but they pushed them aside since he was young. Losing him destroyed the hope of love for her. It doesn’t always make sense, but I think losing someone like that changes you.”
The low sound in his chest says more than the words do. “It does.”
I know this. My father’s death was hard on us all, but my mother took it to another level. She refused to even think about another man and would say her heart died when he did. Thankfully, she loved me as well and fought the despair and then she got cancer.
I can remember times during her chemo when it seemed like she wanted to die. Not because she didn’t want to live but because she missed him so much. It’s just recently that I think she’s truly healing and seeing that it’s finally time to stop mourning him.
While I don’t think it’s the same for Josh, seeing how he says he loves me, I think he still very much needs to deal with the trauma of having to watch Morgan die like that.
“The first step to fixing anything is admitting there’s a problem, right?”
He kisses the top of my head. “You think I can be fixed?”
I lift my head, looking into his gorgeous blue eyes. “Not you, but the way you’re thinking about it all. You need to forgive and allow yourself to be happy.”
His thumb grazes my cheek. “I want to be happy with you.”
“Then we just have to try.”
“There is no one else I would be able to do this for.”
I shake my head, holding his wrist. “No, I don’t want you to do this for me, Josh. I want you to do it for you. You deserve happiness. You deserve love. You deserve to have all the things you want. So, don’t do it for me, do it for you so that you and I have a chance.”
He moves toward me at the same time I go to him. The kiss we share is soft, sweet, and tinted with hope that I’m going to hold on to with both hands.
Josh and I stand outside my mother’s door, our hands clasped together while I gather the courage to go inside. While she and I have the best relationship, there’s a lot of apprehension about telling her that we’re pregnant.
I don’t know if I can ever recall us ever being angry with each other, but she has very firm beliefs on marriage and the order in which children come. So, I’m slightly afraid our first fight is going to be when I tell her that I’m unmarried and pregnant and living in sin.
Yeah, not really excited about this.
We talked every week while she’s been away, but I never found the balls to tell her. It’s probably a conversation best had in person anyway.
Well, if I ever go inside.
“Are we going to stand out here all day?” Josh asks.
“Maybe.”
“Your mother is amazing, Deals. I don’t know why you’re nervous.”
I look up at him and sigh. “We should tell her we’re engaged.”
Josh’s eyes widen, and he sputters. “What?”
“If we do that, then maybe she won’t be upset.”
“Or we don’t do that because we’re not, and we tell her the truth.”
I let out a half laugh. “Oh, yes, that sounds like a brilliant plan. Let’s tell her that I’m unable to keep my legs closed and we were going at it so rough the condom broke.”
“I don’t think she needs details, but it’s better than lying about being engaged.”
I close my eyes, feeling a hundred times a fool. He’s right. “I’m sorry. I just . . . I love her and don’t want to upset her.”
“I don’t think it’ll be bad.”
“We’ll see,” I say and then finally open the door. “Ma? You here?”
“Delia?”
“Do you have other children I don’t know about?” I ask with a laugh.
She comes rushing down the stairs, a smile wide across her face. “I didn’t know you were coming by! I just got home an hour ago and was going to come see you!”
“I saved you the trip.”
I knew she was home because I heard it on the scanner app, which is actually pretty freaking cool. Josh and I keep it on when we’re doing things around the house because it’s amazing what people put out on there. Strange cars or bikers taking up too much space on the road, and the other night, there was a really interesting tidbit about a certain woman going into a certain man’s home that was not that certain woman’s husband. I get why Mrs. Garner and Villafane are always listening.
She doesn’t break stride as she reaches me, pulling me into her arms. I close my eyes, sinking into her touch. There is nothing quite like my mother’s hugs.
“I missed you so much!”
“I missed you too. How was your trip?”
She smiles. “It was wonderful! I can’t wait to go on my next adventure.” Mom turns to Josh. “Well, Joshua! Hello!” Her eyes meet mine, and I see the questions.
“Hello, Mrs. Andrews.”
She walks over to him, pulling him in for a hug. “It’s so nice to see you.”
“You too.”
She turns back to me again, her lips parted but eyes bright. “And why are you here—the both of you—together?”
“Well, Josh and I are dating, and we—well, we’re living together also.”
The brightness in her expression dims just a bit. “Living together?”
Josh jumps in. “Oliver needed my RV, and with the break-in that happened down the road from her house, I felt more comfortable knowing she wasn’t alone.”
Mom nods slowly. “I see. And you’re dating too?”
Oh, yeah, here comes the fun.
“We are, and there’s more, Mom.” I pause and then decide it’s just better to spit it out and let the chips fall where they may. “I’m pregnant . . . with twins.”
She stands there, watching me, and then she bursts out laughing. She laughs, and Josh and I share a look as she cackles on and on. After a minute, she’s gasping for air and trying to speak. “Oh. Delia. Funny.”
“I’m not . . .”
Her hand covers her mouth for a second. “You were always so good at tricking me.”
“I’m not tricking you, Mom.”
“You can tell me the truth now. You’ve had your fun.”
Not sure about that part, but I can see why she’d think it was a joke. “I swear, Josh and I are together, and we’re having twins. I found out the week you left, but I didn’t want to tell you over the phone.”
She steps back and hits the couch, which is far better than her passing out and hitting the floor. “Oh.”
“I know. I just wanted to tell you as soon as you got home.”
“Oh,” Mom says again. Her eyes move to my stomach where you can see the bump if you look for it. Tears fall down her cheeks, and she rests her hand on my belly. “You’re pregnant.”
“I am.”
She looks up at me, both our gazes watery. “You’re going to be a mommy.” I nod, and she smiles again. “I’m going to be a Granny.”
“You are.”
Her hands move to my face, and she holds me still as she kisses my nose. “My baby is going to have babies.”
“Two of them.”
“Oh, what a . . . wow.” She laughs. “I don’t know what to say. I’m happy, and at the same time, I have so many things to ask.”
I break in quickly. “We’re not getting married.”
Her hands fall away, and she looks to Josh. “Is there some reason?”
He clears his throat. “For one, we are in no hurry.”
She raises her brow and looks to my stomach. “I would beg to differ. You have two reasons right there, and they have a clock going.”
“Mom, we don’t need to get married. Josh and I just started even being a couple two days ago. I’d like to . . . you know, take this one day at a time.”
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Her hands move to her cheeks, and she just keeps shaking her head. “You’re four months pregnant, Delia, not two days. So, this isn’t new, and I don’t understand the problem with wanting to see you married.”
“People can have babies without getting married.”
“I know that happens, but I never thought you’d be one of those people.”
I let out a long sigh. “I’m sure you’ll survive once the twins are here.”
“Twins,” she says wistfully.
Then she looks at Josh. “You are a lucky man, you know this?”
His eyes meet mine. “I do.”
And just like that, he wins her over and leaves me feeling weightless.
Chapter 27
Joshua
Oliver, Alex, and I are doing a walk-through of the layout.
“I like this change, but I think this part should be bigger,” Alex notes.
“I’ll see if Odette can do it.” Ollie writes something down, and we keep moving.
“What about this section?” I ask.
Alex looks around, turning side to side. “This is the sitting area, and I wouldn’t adjust anything here. With the way the flow of the room goes, if we change this wall, it cuts off the view to the door, which then messes up the front desk area.”
I nod, I never would’ve seen that. “You know, you were always so good at this.”
“I would’ve been great at it if I were allowed to actually do what I went to school for.”
Oliver huffs. “No shit. We all have degrees in things Dad thought would help him.”
“Yeah, but Alex is the only one who actually loved what he studied.”
I got stuck with a business degree and hospitality. It was always clear that I would be running the family business. Grayson followed my path, but took more finance interests, but Alex was dead set on being able to draw up plans. Dad wanted to expand, so I imagine he saw it as a great opportunity to get free designs.
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