by Ace Gray
Elle was aimlessly gnawing on her thumb hard enough that blood was smeared on her lips as she stared vacantly into space. There were similarly bloodied gashes on her cheek and crimson colored her hair where Conrad tenderly stroked.
“What happened?” I asked again, this time my voice was broken, my question desperate.
I took a few steps toward her and she didn’t even turn to look at me. I was ready to scoop her out of Conrad’s arms when Horse put his hand around the back of my neck and gently guided me toward the bedroom. He didn’t say a word, he just pushed me in.
My eyes went to the one thing out of place in the room. The sheet covered lump at the foot of the bed. I shook my head as I studied the unmistakable outline of a body.
“You answer me, and you answer me now.” I rounded on him and shoved him up against the doorframe.
I frantically searched his face and then Conrad’s where he watched us. For the first time, not a single light danced on his sunny features.
“Who’s under that fucking sheet and what did they do to Elle?” Terror became a softball in my throat that I could barely speak around.
“See for yourself,” Horse’s low, serious voice was almost as scared as mine.
Even though my feet weighed a million pounds, I managed the trudge over. I crouched down and pulled up the corner and recognized the pointy fucking shoe peeking out. Both bile and relief rose inside me as I uncovered Siobhan’s broken and blue body.
“She…” I couldn’t bring myself to ask.
“Got in the room when I went after Conrad. I found her on Elle doing what she does best.”
“Did she…?” We both knew Siobhan well enough to know what I was asking.
“Yes,” Horse whispered.
I dropped the sheet back over the body and stood, pushing past Horse and directly to Elle.
“Give her to me,” I snarled at Conrad, he simply raised his hands in surrender and let me grab her.
As soon as I touched her, she came alive, struggling against me wildly, her eyes still vacant. I tried to wrangle her up to standing but her nails flew at me. My stomach rolled over, knowing this was what she’d had to do against the corpse in the other room.
“Elle, it’s me,” I cooed but she only fought harder as I tried to pull her to me. “Ladyface,” I shouted a little harsher.
At first, she looked as though I’d smacked her, going stock still, but then she melted into me with big, wet, gasping sobs.
“Shhhhhh, Ladyface. Shhhhhh.” My hand skated the back of her head trying to soothe her the way Conrad had been, only to find the sticky mat of blood that had trickled from her skull.
My fingers got tangled so I simply pulled her into me. I rubbed up and down her spine, breathing in the slight scent of her as it mixed with Horse’s freshly laundered shirt.
“Where were you? Why weren’t you here?” She sobbed into my chest, my heart wanted to shatter beneath her tears.
“It seemed more important,” I whispered and started to pull her toward the bed without thinking of anything but winding my body around her.
Conrad and Horse waved wildly at me and tried to tell me to cut it out but it was Elle’s broken, “No!” was what stopped me.
“Fuck,” I swore under my breath. “Sorry, Ladyface.”
I bent swiftly and picked her up to cradle her to my chest. She let me, nuzzling into my skin. I carried her to the bathroom and turned on the bathtub. As it filled I gently pulled her out of Horse’s shirt and tossed it up onto the counter. When I turned back she was trembling but I was sure it wasn’t from cold. I coaxed her into the warm water and her perfect pale skin blanched beet red in the water.
She collapsed into the bath, I had to slow her crash into the water. But then I helped her get comfortable. She balled up on her own knees then slumped toward me. I grabbed a mug from the vanity then I knelt down next to her. I poured a few waves of warm water over her head, hoping to help clean the blood from her hair. When it was more pink than red I reached around her with both arms and cupped her shoulder, pulling her in despite the edge so I could kiss the cap of her shoulder.
Her hands left her shins and wrapped up around my forearms. Warm tears started to spill down onto my skin again and all I could do was rest my forehead against her. We breathed in unison bent over the tub and wrapped up in each other as we were.
“Why weren’t you here?” she asked, defeated when she finally broke the silence.
“I went to see Vinny. I needed to know what he was talking about before.” I stayed as calm and quiet as I possibly could.
“Why didn’t you take me?” Her voice crackled before tears took back over.
I blew out a deep breath. There was no way to soften this or make it pretty. At this moment, Elle wasn’t dealing in pretty, she was dealing in truth. I hated myself for doing that to her.
“I killed his brother.” I sucked in a deep breath. “Back in the day, I killed him with my bare hands for no other reason than he burned down Mickey’s old house.” She tensed beneath my hands. “I couldn’t take you there any more than I could take you into the lion’s den itself.”
Her nails clutched into me.
“Forgive me.” I lifted up and breathed the words into her hair. “Say you’ll forgive me. Someday?” I added, scared that I’d finally broke us. “I never will. But if you do, we’ll survive. I’ll survive.”
She rocked ever so slightly in my arms. “Ladyface,” I breathed and tried to scoot closer to her.
“What did you find out?” she finally asked, her voice trembling as much as her tiny body.
“We don’t need to talk about it right now.”
“Oh yes, we do.” She choked on her tears. “Whatever it was, it better be good, because you… It took you…” Her sobbed choked her off all over again.
“Shhhhh,” I nestled into her.
“Tell. Me. Cole,” she managed in between shotgun breaths.
I felt my eyes go wide and my frown play on the corner of my lips but I told her. I told her about her mom. And about Jimmy. About what they had done in the past and what Jimmy was really up to now. I iced that shit cake off with the real reason her mom died. If I hadn’t had her to hold onto, I would have melted into the floor and died there.
Elle started crying big salty tears.
“I’m sorry, Ladyface. I know that wasn’t what you wanted to hear.” I stayed quiet in her ear.
“That there’s a little bit of good left out there? That my mom had it and you’re trying to find it?” She let out one huge sob but the end was laced with the slightest bit of laughter. “It’s the only thing you could have told me, Cole. I’ve never been proud of my mom. I’ve never thought anything above worms about Jimmy. But now…” Her voice was gaining strength even as she trailed off. “You gave her back to me.”
She turned and kissed my collarbone. My whole body shuddered.
“At what price?” I let go of her shoulder and gently traced her face.
She jerked away at first then stilled herself back into my palm. Her wide eyes found mine and her bottom lip quivered until I stilled it with my thumb.
“Look at what she did to you,” I whispered and had to consciously keep myself from digging my hands into Elle to make sure she was still real. “I’d kill her if she wasn’t dead already.”
It was Elle’s turn to shudder as her eyes left me and darted toward the bedroom.
“I just want her gone.” Her voice shook a little. “And then I want you to make me forget she ever existed.”
“With pleasure.” I shot her a shy smile. “On both counts.”
“They’re building that parking garage over by the university.” Horse cleared his throat behind us. “We’ve got about two hours of darkness left.” He came over and crouched next to me. “How you doing, Fucktart?”
“Better now.” Her hand skated along my arm then laced into my fingers and squeezed.
“I’ll never forgive myself for running out, for leaving the door o
pen.”
For a second my temper raged inside me, an inferno at his words, but then I caught those big chocolate eyes dancing with tears. He cared for her as if she were a precious gem and he’d added the weight of protecting something so valuable to his shoulders without question.
I adjusted a little so I could lean on him. He sucked in a deep breath waiting for the sucker punch that would follow but I just turned and pressed my lips to the back of his shoulder. He blew that same breath out and shifted his weight to lean into me.
“Are we getting rid of the hellcat or are we all gonna sit around and sing Kumbaya or some shit? Personally, I don’t think it’s the most fitting song for this situation. Maybe Move Bitch?” Conrad spoke up from behind us and this time I really did think about throttling someone, using his snark as an excuse to let my fury free.
But then Elle giggled.
I managed a smile as I bent to kiss each of her knuckles one by one then reach to do the same with the tip of her nose.
“It seems we have a date with a construction site.”
33.
Cole
Conrad, Horse and I stood back and surveyed the site. Nothing seemed out of place, besides our footprints in the loose dust. Siobhan had fit too easily into the mold for the concrete pillars they’d be pouring soon. Horse had suffocated her and then carefully wrapped her in a sheet, making the only DNA she took with her into the parking garage Elle’s.
That ate at me a little bit but aside from cutting off Siobhan’s hands, I didn’t really have a choice. And with dawn approaching there just wasn’t time.
“So this is going to work?” Conrad asked as he pulled Horse back and wound around his body.
“In theory,” I sighed.
“Has before,” Horse echoed.
“The footprints?” he asked, his voice stronger than I would have guessed as he leaned his chin on Horse’s shoulder.
“Compressed air.” I grabbed the can I’d shoved in my waistband and started spraying, fading the footprints into nothing.
“Is it wrong that this kind of turned me on?” Conrad asked as we turned back toward the car.
I couldn’t help but laugh. Slowly but surely he was winning me over.
“Making a body or hiding a body?” I asked as I slid into the driver’s seat.
“I’m not gonna lie, I’m gonna do everything in my power to block out what she was doing to Elle Belle when we walked in, but the way Horse handled her…”
I gulped and I couldn’t help but look over at Horse. There was a darkness to his eyes that hadn’t been there the past few days which made me swallow hard.
“I mean, I feel safe.” Conrad leaned forward from the backseat and wrapped his arms around Horse. Horse softened a little but there was still a vacant ghost hiding behind his eyes.
“It was that bad, huh?” I murmured as we backed out with my headlights off.
“Seeing her with Elle made me feel like the world was ending. Like there’d never be light again. I can’t help but feel like I’ve made a lot of really bad choices.” Horse settled into Conrad’s grip but his face stayed crinkled.
“We have made a lot of really bad choices, Horse.” I bit my lip and sucked in a deep breath. “But I think we finally have a chance to do something right.”
“What?”
I’d piqued his curiosity but his face was still rough as he stared out at the dark street. The way he looked out and the way he worked on his big bottom lip was easy enough to read. He knew exactly which something I was referring to. I swerved off the road and slammed on the brakes.
“Tell me that you didn’t know!” I looked over and in the faint pink of sunrise, watched as he shifted away, unable to meet my eyes.
“Didn’t know what?” he grunted.
“Don’t play me like that,” I snarled.
He blew out a deep breath and shifted on his hip to turn away from me.
“You did? Really?” I banged the wheel and both the guys jumped. “Fuck, Horse! And you let him?”
“What was I supposed to do?” He spun back toward me and his hands curled into my t-shirt.
“What's going on?” Conrad scrambled to keep hold of Horse’s heaving shoulders.
“They’re kids, Horse.” I knew deep down his hands had been tied unless he decided to wring Mickey’s neck with them. That didn’t stop me from wanting to wring his. “They’re someone’s daughter. Someone’s sister. They’re sweet, innocent and pure like Elle. That’s why Jimmy did what he did. That’s why Simone...”
“What do you mean? What in the hell is this about?” Conrad shot forward, jostling the seats. “Why are you talking about Elle’s mom?”
“She was trying to save innocent girls. She was trying to keep families together. And she was doing it for Elle.” I slumped back in my seat.
“And now we’re going to do it,” Conrad said matter of fact.
“Yeah, we are. And I need to know if you’re in Horse. I need to feel in my bones that you're with me and with Elle...”
“And with me,” Conrad interrupted.
“And Conrad,” I picked up seamlessly, suddenly certain that he had a place in this life every bit as much as Elle. “And that when we go at Mickey and when things get dark that you’re with us.”
Horse lunged at me, his hand sliding behind my neck and he pulled me to his lips. His lips tangled with mine with an urgency I’d never felt before. He pushed and pulled on me but then abruptly pulled away, leaving his forehead to mine. He was breathing heavy and his eyes were squeezed tight.
“I’m always with you. Forever,” he breathed the word. “No matter who I’m with or who you’re with, I’m always with you.” He sat back and dropped his head into his hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t do right by you. I’m sorry that I fucked up while you were gone.”
I reached over and rubbed along his spine.
“Help me understand, Horse?” I made sure to keep the bitter out of my voice.
“Me too,” Conrad was less gracious in the backseat.
“I lost my way.” His shoulders heaved and I wondered if he might actually cry. I swallowed hard, Horse’s tears had a way of splitting my soul. “You were the compass, Cole. You know where north is. I just know how to stay alive.”
I rubbed a little harder on his shoulders trying to keep them from shaking.
“It’s okay.” I patted his back. “We’ll make it okay.”
“Does this ever get easier?” Conrad grumbled in the backseat.
“I don’t know, Conrad.” I blew out a deep breath. “I sure as fuck know this isn’t going to be the easy part.”
“I was talking about seeing my main salami desperate for a different deli sandwich.” Sarcasm was thick in his voice. “But the whole Mr. Fix-It thing is important too.”
“It sounds like you have a plan.” Horse perked up.
“Yeah. And buckle up, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.” I turned on the car and flipped on the lights as I pulled back onto the road. “We’ve gotta go pick up Jimmy Ponies then we have a date with Mickey Maloney.”
That was enough to silence the car. I knew the feeling. My insides alternated between frozen completely and bubbling like a cauldron. But this was the only play we had.
“I’m not letting him go in there.” Horse shot a look back at Conrad.
“He’s not going to. He’s gonna take the train back to Elle.”
“I like that.” Horse hummed and I saw Conrad smirk in my rearview mirror. “But where does that leave us?”
“We’re buying Elle time. We’re giving Mickey the only thing that will distract him from her.”
“Jimmy,” Horse finished.
“But I thought he was a good guy in the end?” Conrad asked.
“Yeah.” I found myself nodding. “I don’t know that Elle means much to him, but her mom sure as hell did. It was his idea to do this for her because it was what Simone would want. It’s what she did, after all.”
“Mickey’s gonna kill him,”
Horse’s voice was low but steady.
“I think he knows that.” I remembered the look in his eyes as he made the plan.
“But it’s him or Elle isn’t it?” Conrad was quiet too.
“If we get really fucking lucky,” I answered past the lump in my throat.
The car was silent as we drove toward Elmwood Park. Siobhan’s body was gone but her ghost would take a lot longer to fade. And the shadow of Mickey… Well it wasn’t a shadow at all. He was looming just like the John Hancock building.
Horse was the first to break the silence when we pulled in and parked at the train station.
“For the record, I’m glad you’re gonna go take care of our little Fucktart but I don’t like letting you out of my sight right now.” He reached back and grabbed Conrad’s knee.
“You can say more things like that.”
I could hear the smile in Conrad’s voice.
“When I told Cole, no matter who I was with, I was with him, I was picturing our life. Together. And how Cole fit into it. How Elle and Cole fit into it. But it was us.”
“Get out of the car,” Conrad commanded with something carnal in his voice. “Get out!” He shouted when Horse didn’t budge.
Finally, Horse slid out, leaving Conrad to shove the front seat out of his way. The second he was free of the car, he pushed Horse against the car shaking the whole damn thing. I clutched at the steering wheel as I rolled my eyes.
Conrad found Horse’s lips and the set of his jaw while he kissed him was enough to say how much adoration was passing back and forth. When they kept at it, my stomach knotted with want for Elle. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to breathe life into her, I wanted to live the future she’d magically made appear.
I got out of the car and went to sit on the hood. After they pulled apart breathless, I cleared my throat.
“This better be good, Cole,” Conrad spoke against Horse’s lips. “Like someone touching someone else’s dick again good.”
“I need you to tell Elle something.” I looked off in the distance. I couldn’t quite meet his eyes.
