by Ines Johnson
For someone who'd spent her life moving around in a state of flux as a child of nomad parents, someone who had trouble making connections and finding her clique as a teen, someone who had only herself to rely on as an adult, there was something about having another person take the lead from her -if only for a moment.
Unbidden, a clear vision of their first sexual encounter came to mind. After the first time he'd taken her, Hsing had looked down at her, his face open, vulnerable. For just a moment that impenetrable scowling wall had been down, and she'd seen into him.
She thought she'd seen a man with a heavy burden on his shoulders. A man that just wanted to protect everyone in his care. A man who gave of himself to everyone, but didn't give any time or care to himself. When he’d realized what she saw, he'd shut himself down and shut her out.
When her eyes connected with Hsing's in the present moment, she saw him frowning. His eyes narrowed as they looked at her. His lips turned up in that cruel scowl. They stayed like that for long moments, staring each other down, waiting to see who would blink first.
Shanti couldn't blink. She couldn't blink because everything was so clear to her in that moment. The moment of clarity settled on her shoulders and she saw the man before her in a new light.
Both she and Hsing liked to be in control. Shanti’s parents had raised her to be independent by their words and their deeds. They had shown her how a partnership worked in their relationship. They’d also demonstrated the power of a collective in the groups they worked with.
For Shanti, control was a preference. She was the first to point her index finger at herself as a Type A personality, but she also believed in the power of the fist and letting the other four fingers join the fight.
For Hsing, control appeared to be a necessity, the means to survival. He lived in a collective group of beings. But he wouldn't let any of them shoulder any of his responsibilities.
Shanti cocked her head and wondered, "Why?"
Hsing turned his back on her and faced out the large window, pounding the colorful keys on the control board.
Shanti quirked a brow. So, Mr. Alpha didn't like when the tables were turned on him and someone dug around his thoughts and feelings. Well, if this is what clarity got her, she'd have to keep at it.
Beside her Chen chuckled. Clearly, he'd heard her revelation about his brother. He turned and smiled openly.
Chen was always open. He never guarded his feelings against her. She saw his every feeling on his face. Just as he showed her everything, she knew he saw everything. Shanti realized she never felt the need to guard herself around Chen.
Chen knew that once she set foot on Earth she had no intention of returning with him. So why was he advocating that she go? Was he trying to set her free? Did he not want her any longer?
That thought made Shanti's chest hurt. She couldn't deny that in the short time she'd known him, Chen had claimed a place in her heart.
But it didn't matter. It didn't matter what she felt for Chen. It didn't matter that her body craved Hsing. Once she left, she was not coming back.
It didn't matter if Chen was letting her go because he didn't want her any longer. Over her life, Shanti had grown used to rejection.
"You know," said Chen in his melodic voice, "you are exactly as I thought you would be."
Shanti turned to look into those large eyes.
"I sat right here before coming down to Earth,” he continued. “I wondered what you would look like, sound like, be like. I had no clue in that moment. Looking at you now, being with you...I would not change a thing, Shanti. I want you to remember that always."
Shanti tried to gain control of her pounding heart. She would not be swayed. She would not be swayed.
"We are almost there." Hsing's deep voice broke up the moment.
Up ahead Shanti saw the blue of her home planet.
Hsing tapped something out on the screen. "Here is the creature she spoke of."
Shanti saw a familiar sight on the screen. But it wasn't the murky waters of the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland. They were near the equator, at the Barrier Reef in Australia.
Her heart fell. They weren't taking her home to collect the specimens she had in her home office. They were taking her on the other side of the world to collect the algae from the reef.
It was no matter. Australia was a shorter trip home than trying to hitch a ride from Pluto. Her resolve strengthened more than ever to get away now.
"Are you ready, Shanti?"
Shanti turned to Chen. She ignored the agitation in her chest at the sound of her given name on his lips instead of the endearment he'd taken to calling her.
Chen stood from his chair and went over to the heliopad. Shanti got up and followed. Chen stepped up to the pad and then turned and put his hand out. Before Shanti could reach for it, Chen took his hand back.
"My apologies," he said. He tucked his hand behind his back and made space for her on the pad.
The heliopad was large enough for a number of bodies to fit comfortably on its circular shape. Chen gave her a wide berth, wide enough where no part of their bodies would have cause to touch.
Shanti stepped up into the empty space, a desolate fog entering her mind.
"Do not take long, Chen-Na. I have plans for our little one when she returns. There are a number of pages we have yet to explore in the Kama Sutra."
Shanti glared over her shoulder. "Don't hold your breath."
Shanti heard Hsing's deep-throated laughter as the lights came on around her and Chen.
The pad roared to life, the sound vibrating through her like a police siren. Shanti reached out her hands for balance and steadied herself. But the descent came fast, and she lost her balance.
Shanti stumbled into Chen. His hands came out to steady her back onto her own feet. He looked down at her before he let her go. His fingers released her slowly. It was the first time he'd touched her since their night together. She'd forgotten the warmth of his hands, the softness of his fingers.
Another jolt rocked the heliopad. Had it been this bumpy and scary on their assent? She couldn't remember. She'd been too busy locking lips with Chen.
A third jolt sent Shanti straight into Chen's chest. This time she clung to him. Chen's arms came around her. His hands spanned her back. His fingers imparted their warmth.
Shanti tucked her head under his chin. She was certain the pad continued to bump and jolt, but she no longer jumped. She was secure in Chen's arms. She held on long after the bumps and jolts stopped.
"My only?"
Shanti sighed at the sound of the endearment. The rightness of it in her ears.
"We are here."
Shanti's head rose away from Chen's chest. She looked around. They were standing on the shore. All around them were crystal blue waters.
She was back on Earth. She'd been to Australia before, shortly after college. She knew she could catch a flight home. She didn't have any money, credit cards, passport or identification on her. But she wasn't on a space ship any longer.
Shanti looked down to see she was still inside Chen's embrace. She stepped back, her body protesting each step. It was clear he was reluctant to let her go, too. But he did. His arms slowly came away from her.
"I'll show you the algae for the ship," she said.
Chen nodded.
Shanti turned to the shoreline. Chen followed silently behind her.
"We are going into the waters?" he asked.
Shanti nodded. "The algae are in the reef."
"It is blue."
"Yes."
"It is beautiful."
Shanti turned at the excitement in Chen's voice. His voice made her think of bright-eyed Niao. In fact, he looked like bright-eyed Niao at the moment.
"My mother used to show me the crystal clear waters of her village. The images were from her memories. When I came here in the flesh, it was not what I expected."
"Yeah, humans haven't done well to keep up the Earth. The only reason this part of
the land is pristine is because of the reef. Can you see? The coral is the bulbous looking structure. Inside it, live the algae, which helps to keep the water pristine by eating the toxins. It’s Mother Nature's own garbage disposal. I think it'll work for the Mothership."
As Shanti said it she felt a pang that she would not be feeling the warmth and protection of the ship ever again.
"Shanti?" Chen brushed his hand over her arm.
She didn't startle at the contact. She startled at her name on his lips instead of the endearment. She needed to shake it off. She wouldn't be seeing him again to hear him call her that. She'd just have to get used to hearing guys call her "baby" again. But the thought of another man touching her skin, even saying her name, felt repulsive.
"Only?"
Shanti turned to Chen. She expected an argument, a plea. Instead, she saw bashfulness in his large eyes.
"Would you do something with me before you go?"
Shanti's breath caught. He didn't hide the fact that he knew she was planning to leave. Did he want one last time with her?
"It is something I have always dreamed of since I was a youngling.”
Hsing's inclinations tended towards the naughty side of the Kama Sutra. Chen had mostly been concerned about pleasing her. What would his sexual fantasies tend toward?
"Three things," he said.
Shanti parted her lips in anticipation. Chen ducked his head. She wanted to tell him he had nothing to be ashamed of with her. She wanted to fulfill his desires.
Shanti shook her head. She had to go home. She couldn't have sex with him, definitely not three times.
"The first is to swim in the blue waters of my mother's memory."
"Swim?” She stared. “You want to swim?"
"Will you come with me?" He held out his hand.
Shanti couldn't help but laugh at the request. She took his hand. At the water's edge, Chen shed his robes. Naked as the day he was born, he crashed in the water.
Shanti let out another laugh. The sound that came back to her carried the same childish glee of Niao. She watched Chen surface with a huge smile. She quickly shed her clothes and joined him.
Chapter Nineteen
The water was the perfect temperature. Chen felt like he was walking in his mother's dreams, only there was far more color. He heard the most beautiful sound. Shanti laughing, her eyes shining with joy. She swam alongside him, her brown body a lovely contrast to his blue.
This was right. This was the way it should be. This was the way it would be.
Chen spotted a flash of blue up ahead in the waters. He let out a hearty laugh and then dove into the waves in pursuit. He might not get the opportunity to ride and befriend a blue, Bengal tiger like his mother had seen when she was a child. But this creature that approached him was eager to play.
Chen raced to catch up with the water mammal. When he did, the animal offered Chen his finned back. Chen grasped hold, and the animal sped through the water. They dipped and dived and crashed into the waves.
Shanti joined him at the animal’s back. Her brown legs flying behind the animal’s tale. Chen hung back, watching Shanti and the animal play. Glimpsing Shanti's breasts against the water mammal's back set Chen's loins aching to be inside her once more.
Perhaps he would have the chance soon. He couldn't imagine she would still want to part with him after all the joy they'd just shared. She'd clung to him on the heliopad. It was due more to just her fear of the transport device. She'd wanted him, needed him.
Shortly before that, Shanti demonstrated that she saw Hsing so clearly. No one but Chen saw how lonely and burdened Hsing was. After a short span of time, Shanti saw it. And she, more than Chen, had real power to do something about it. Chen wished Hsing were here with them now. His brother needed a break from their constant fight for survival and vigilance.
As the star moved across the Earth's sky, the water mammal told Chen that it had to return to its own family. With another jump and dive, it left Shanti and Chen back in the shallow water of the reef.
Chen finally got around to what they came to do and collected a sample of the life-saving flora.
"You said three things," said Shanti as she rested her head on a rock under the star's warm rays. The water was so clear Chen saw her glorious body in the water. "What's number three?"
"Blueberries,” he said.
“You won't find blueberries out here, I'm afraid."
There were no blueberries in the sea unfortunately. They grew on land on the branches of squat arbors. Chen spied blue sea grass. He dove down and grabbed some.
When he surfaced and presented some to Shanti, she scrunched up her nose in disgust. Chen was undaunted. He put the vibrant blue plant into his mouth and chewed. Then he spat it out, to more of Shanti's delighted laughter.
"I told you not to." She gasped the words through her laughs.
He chased her through the water threatening to give her a taste. Shanti ducked and dodged him. Soon they both turned to the shore. They climbed out of the waters and found their clothes.
Chen turned his back and allowed Shanti her privacy. He sensed her sneaking glances at him as she reached for her clothing. He felt her eyes linger on him as he dressed.
Chen's hearts swelled with joy. She would stay. He'd been right. All he needed was to give her the choice.
"We've been out here for a long time," Shanti said when he turned around, both of them fully dressed. "Didn't Hsing say to be quick?"
"Hsing has had much on his shoulders, he has forgotten how to have any fun."
Shanti snorted. "Did he ever have any fun?"
Chen laughed, but then sobered. "Yes, a long time ago. When we were younglings. When our parents were still with us and we did not have to deal with adult issues."
"You guys have been on your own for a long time?"
"We are never alone. But I take your meaning. It has been many cycles that we have been without our parents."
"What do you all do out in the universe? The Heavens?"
"I think the word you would call us is healers, or maybe conservationists. We tend Womb Rocks."
"Womb Rocks?"
"This planet, the Earth, is a Womb Rock. A Womb Rock is a planet with the ability to create life."
"Are they rare?"
Chen nodded. "The conditions for Womb Rocks to give birth to life are rare. On this planet, water is the most abundant element. It is your life force. In the universe, energy is the most abundant element. The core of every Womb Rock is energy. The core of all life, before other elements move in to shape it, is energy. Eloheem are cultivators of energy. It is our life essence. It speaks to us and we to it."
Chen felt a beaming light of understanding and hope burst from the bond link between them.
"So you could stay here?” she said. "Help heal this planet?”
The hope in her eyes nearly knocked Chen over. Her hope left her completely unguarded, unblocked.
In her mind's eye, Chen saw Shanti's vision of a life with him. He saw them working together to heal this planet, to clean the waters, to save the arbors, to save the animals, to teach humans to live in harmony, teach them the foundations he'd shown Shanti.
But then he had to shake his head. "No. This planet already has a tribe of Eloheem working in its core."
Shanti looked down and around as though she could see them.
"They will not reveal themselves to the inhabitants. They are here for the womb. The tribe of Eloheem for this womb was assigned by the governing body of the universe, the Neterians."
"Why can't you stay and join them?"
Chen couldn't explain the complexity of an ancient political system in the short time span they had left on the Earth. "We must go where we are needed."
"Where's that?"
"We have all just come of age. We have not found our place in the universe yet."
"Can't you ask the Neterians to assign you here with the others?"
Chen shook his head again. "When the
Marred Ones committed genocide, they left a mark on all of us who remained. The Neterians would not trust us with so sacred a planet. If they found us here now, we would be..." Chen searched for a comparable word in her language. "Arrested for trespassing."
Disappointment spiraled down the bond link.
"Do not worry, my only. We will find a place where our help is needed. It has been difficult to find a settlement when we have not been whole. Now that Hsing and I have found the missing part of ourselves…” Chen reached for and held her hands. To the delight of his soul, she let him. "We can begin to search for that place where we all can live and thrive and offer healing. Home is not a place, it is the people."
Shanti was silent as she looked out over the crystal clear waters. She wouldn't look in Chen's eyes. Chen couldn't see directly inside hers either. It was as though they were meeting each other for the first time again. The words and images coming from her thoughts made no sense to him. He could not understand how they were possible.
That wasn't true. He knew exactly what she was telling him. He could not pretend to misunderstand this time. There was no language barrier. She was a part of him. Her desires were clear.
"Do you want me to take you home?" He didn't look at her as he spoke. When she didn't answer he turned to her, looking her clear in the eye. And there he saw it, clear as the day, the answer he dreaded.
Chapter Twenty
"Do you want me to take you home?"
Chen didn't look at her as he spoke. Shanti couldn't look in his eyes, so she shut hers. She couldn't find her voice, so she nodded.
With her eyes still closed, she felt him reach out his arms to her. Without thinking Shanti went into them. He wrapped her up tight. She fit so perfectly into the mold of his body.
"Show me." He said into her ear.
"Show you what?" Her voice was so low that maybe it was just a thought. Shanti rested her head against his chest.
"Show me your home and I will take you there."
“How?"
"I told you, we are energy. From the short time you have been with us, the water in your body has been transforming to pure energy. I can teleport you to your home if you show it to me."
