“You can’t,” Hale said. “You do not have the healing magic. It is not you.”
“There has to be something. Baby, Venni. Don’t. Okay. Don’t. Please, just don’t.” I sobbed hard as fear consumed me. “Just hold on. I’ll fix this. I can figure this out.” I sniffed and drew in a breath. “I just need to think.”
My gaze refused to settle on one thing as my mind whirled with possibilities. But I knew the truth. I couldn’t fix this. His face was pallid, he had already lost too much blood, and the damage was too much.
I bit my lip hard and squeezed Venni’s hands. There had to be a solution. I couldn’t entertain the idea of him no longer being here.
“Step away,” a deep voice said, echoing through my mind.
My head snapped up, nearly giving myself whiplash. Blinking past the tears, I could barely make out the blurry shape of something tall.
“Step away.”
“What?”
Hands grabbed at me and pulled. I screamed, clawing, trying to get to Venni. I needed to be at his side.
“Sh, Laila, sh,” Alijah said into my ear. “He’ll fix it.”
I blinked harder. My hands were restrained at my sides from the steel band of Alijah’s arms. When my vision finally cleared, I took in a sharp breath.
A primordial stood before us again. It hovered over Venni, vines and branches entwined to create the humanoid shape. This one was different though. Instead of the green moss growing up its legs like the first one, this one had pale blue moss. It somehow came off as softer than the first primordial.
“You kept our pterippi and their hatchlings safe. This is our thanks.”
Before I had a chance to respond, roots rose from the ground and wrapped around Venni. I stood, speechless as Venni melted into the ground. Before I could do something stupid like breaking free of Alijah and throwing all my power at the primordial so I could dig my wolf up, he came back on his own. The roots slipped back into the ground, and Venni lay there whole, the branch no longer jutting out of his chest.
“Your wolf is okay. The pterippi will open their homes to you until he is awake and healthy enough to be moved.”
With that, the primordial melted away like the first one.
“Let me go,” I said in a dangerously calm voice. The moment Alijah loosened his grip, I broke through his arms and went to Venni’s side, checking him over.
He was breathing, there wasn’t a hole in his chest, and all the blood had disappeared. Color slowly seeped back into his skin.
I reached out with my powers, feeling him. “He’s okay.” I cupped his face and kissed his forehead. “He’s okay.” Elliot reached out and wiped my tears away for me.
“He’s okay.” He smiled.
“Elementalist.”
Someone growled as we looked up and watched an old woman on the other side of the ward. She was hunched over, her skin nearly translucent, and her white hair thin and wispy. I didn’t know anything about pterippi but it was easy to say that she was coming to the end of her life expectancy. She was flanked by two women who looked like they could be my age. Their expressions were blank as they stared at us, unblinking.
“We house you. Come.” The old woman turned and hobbled away. The other two stayed behind and opened a way through the ward for us.
“Bring him through,” one said in a soft voice. “All are welcomed.”
We shared dubious glances before Rhett picked up Venni and stepped forward. Alijah motioned me to follow and that was how we stepped into an establishment never visited by anyone except the primordials.
Chapter Thirty
The pterippi lived in huts scattered through an open field. The huts themselves looked to be single rooms, but I was too distracted to examine them closely. It was impossible to not gawk because not all of the pterippi were in humanoid form. About half of them were in their winged horse form, and they were absolutely breathtaking.
Their colors ranged from pure white to pure black with some silvery blues mixed in. Their feathered wings were easily twice my height when they stretched out, but for the most part they kept them tucked to their side.
We were watched curiously by baby pterippi. They moved cautiously closer, but stayed far enough away that we couldn’t touch them. And if they noticed our attention on them, they awkwardly ran away, still adjusting to their long knobby legs.
Others played, in both forms, chasing each other. They all looked so carefree, even with strangers entering their lands. I understood now why the primordials protected them so adamantly. There was an innocence in them, especially the younger ones. The adults knew wariness, but I wasn’t so sure they understood the danger we posed if we were anyone but who we were.
I stopped and gawked as a female adult morphed into a gorgeous white horse with a little dusting of gold on her fur. She flapped her wings, stirring up the air, before she ran and then lifted off the ground flying through the air. Two more joined her.
Damn. I wanted wings. I wanted to fly like that. At best, I could float very well, but the way they moved. That had to be freedom. They rounded the area we were in before flying off into the distance.
“Keep going,” one of the women said behind us and we kept walking.
The elderly woman walked ahead of us, leading deeper into their lands and past more huts that were now becoming more frequent and less spread out.
She finally stopped at one easily twice the size of the others around us. The straw top hung off the edge to provide some shade.
“Here,” the woman said, motioning us to go in.
Shanton went in first, disappearing into the darkness. A moment later, he stood in the doorless entrance, waving us in.
Inside was just what I expected, basic with cots covered in straw and then covered with a blanket. The large room was lined with them.
“There,” the old woman pointed to one by the window.
Rhett was careful as he put Venni down on it. I gnawed at my lip, worried for my wolf shifter. He was still out of it.
“Stay,” the woman said and left us standing there, staring after her. The two younger women’s shadows danced across the grass outside as they took up guard duty on either side of the entrance.
“Think they will let us leave or wander around?”
“Doubt it,” Elliot said.
Tek and Hale went over to Venni and began looking him over again.
“He’s well,” Hale said. “Completely healed. After a good night’s rest, he’ll be ready to move again.”
I nodded and sat down on a cot, drawing my knees to my chest as I stared at Venni, watching his breathing.
“It doesn’t feel over,” I admitted.
Dwight came over and sat down next to me. “It never does when they kill themselves. It’s their last ‘fuck you’ when they take their lives and leave us standing there wondering what happened.”
“Exactly,” I said. “I’m still not sure what happened. He just gave up? Like that?”
Shanton sighed as he found his own cot to commandeer. “Laila, you already know why he did that. If you hadn’t been able to contain that blast, it would have razed everything.”
“We predicted that everything within a fifty-mile radius would have been destroyed,” Hale said. “There was that much magic and it would have grown as it collected the magic already in the air. Even Kokumthena struggled to absorb it all.”
“Is that what happened? Nature absorbed the magic?”
“Yes. We didn’t think we’d make it in time, but yes. She was able to absorb the excess. She’s full now,” Tek answered.
“He wanted revenge so badly that he turned himself into a suicide bomber. That blast would have torn through those wards and taken out this entire place. It would have reached the elementalists too.”
Davies spoke up with a grim expression. “His last stand.” His eye trailed to his partner. The two of them often worked together. It had to be hard for him to see Venni in such a state. I could barely look at him and conta
in the tears that wanted to burst out of me.
It really was hard seeing Venni down. He was a protector, a silent strength. Seeing him vulnerable twisted at my heart.
“I need a walk,” I said and jumped to my feet. They didn’t stop me, probably expecting our guards to keep me from leaving. When I stepped outside and walked away, they didn’t stop me either.
It took a while to find a tree to sit under. They had cleared a lot of them to have more room to run around. Siitha found me shortly after and rested his head on me, and we stayed like that for a while as I lost myself to my thoughts. My hand unconsciously ran through Siitha’s fur.
I wanted to cry again. I kept wondering how this all happened, why it did. I couldn’t reconcile it at all. Padraig was determined to take out the elementalists. Maybe it was just my own viewpoint on life. I would never waste it the way he did. Maybe he wouldn’t have if he’d known I would be able to stop that blast, though I barely succeeded. And I almost killed Elliot in the process because I didn’t have control. I still couldn’t believe that when I created the ward, I trapped Elliot and me in it too.
Control. It was all coming back to that. I fought so hard for so long to have perfect control, and now I was going to have to start over again.
I was just beginning to doze off when a huff caught my attention. With sleepy eyes, I blinked furiously and focused on a silvery blue baby horse. It had baby wings and was one of the most adorable creatures I’d ever seen. It curiously approached us. I stilled, not wanting to scare it off.
It made the huffing noise again and sniffed at Siitha. He lifted up one eye, looked at the creature, and then closed his eyes, ignoring it. The pterippi ruffled its wings. It stood only at about two feet tall, but it was proud of those two feet.
The pterippi came closer and neighed before butting its head against my leg. Then it hopped up on top of Siitha. The image of the winged horse on top of my kitty almost had me laughing. It took everything I had to hold it in.
The pterippi didn’t care and curled up into a ball and closed its eyes. Apparently the little guy wanted to join us for a nap. I smiled softly at it and watched him as the sun worked its way down in the sky.
“Is this where you’ve been?” Rhett asked.
He smiled when he noticed the pterippi stretched over Siitha’s back.
“I just needed space,” I admitted.
“I get it.” He settled down next to me. “After a huge assignment, I like to take a day off, go to my favorite spot, and just think through it all.”
I glanced at him. His focus was on the adult pterippi sticking close by to keep an eye on their little one. They had stayed back, letting the little guy do its own thing, but they remained near.
“What do you think about?” I asked.
“Everything. Did I truly accomplish what I set out to do? Did I fall short some way or was I able to go above and beyond expectations? What went wrong? What went right? How can I make it easier next time I’m in a similar situation? If something went wrong, how can I prevent it from happening again?”
“You analyze yourself.”
“You don’t grow if you don’t question yourself. You have to be willing to push yourself, to do more next time.” He glanced at me. “You have to be willing to look at the ugly truths too.”
“What went wrong.”
He nodded. “What went wrong.”
I licked my lips. “I didn’t have a healer,” I said. “No one in our group could help in a medical situation.”
“And what happened because of that.”
“We almost—” My voice cracked. “We almost lost Venni.”
“We would have if the primordials didn’t feel obligated to step in.”
“That’s the big ugly truth,” I whispered.
“Almost too hard to contemplate. But we have to, so that next time, we remember why it’s important to have a healer nearby on assignments like this.”
“I was rash,” I admitted. “Dwight said this was my breakdown. That I had been under too much pressure, and needed time away from it all. But because I didn’t, I cracked.”
Rhett didn’t answer right away, and I didn’t think he was going to. I began rubbing behind Siitha’s ears, drawing out a low purr from him.
“I almost didn’t make it past my first year working here.” He chuckled bitterly. “The enforcers wanted help tracking a sexual predator. He enjoyed children. It took us two weeks to track him down. We were always one step behind him and that meant we were stuck following his trail of children. After it ended and he was apprehended, I was walking around the city. During that assignment, I got into the habit of patrolling the city when I wasn’t working. A child was screaming her head off, trying to yank out of this man’s grasp. I snapped. Pounded his head in.” His jaw clenched and his hands curled on his thighs. “I almost killed him. He pulled through thankfully. Turned out she was just throwing a fit because she didn’t want to go to her mother’s house.”
“I’m guessing you were able to get off since you’re still working at Biomystic.”
“Lombardi had to step up. He explained I had PTSD because of my assignment. When he explained what I had witnessed, they let me go. I paid all of that man’s medical expenses, paid off his house, his daughter’s tuition. Talked to someone for a couple of years.”
I twined my arm with his, and he leaned into me.
“I have an assignment for you, Laila. When we get back, talk to someone. Anyone. You need it and it will help. Even if they don’t have an answer for you, just saying all the shit you went through out loud will help.”
“My first year here wasn’t that stressful,” I said.
“It was. And I think it’s worse because of your childhood, but you don’t realize it. You know what else you did wrong during this assignment?” he asked gently. I realized this was his way of reprimanding me. Rhett wasn’t going to yell at me and that made me feel worse. I could take yelling. But logic? That was hard to take in.
“No.” I shook my head.
“You didn’t ask for help. You have us, Laila. We’re here. You just need to reach out to us. Now come on, we need sleep. Venni will be better in the morning, and we’ll be able to leave.”
I nudged Siitha and the pterippi off of me. They weren’t happy having their sleep disturbed. The pterippi stumbled to the adult ones and they nudged him toward a hut, no doubt to get real sleep.
When we got back, the older woman was there. “A visitor. They leave soon.” She motioned to the hut. We went inside, and I raised an eyebrow at Elaria. Atasha stood next to her.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
Elaria tried to smile. “We just wanted to follow up and thank you for taking care of Padraig. Nature cried when he released all that magic. We felt the effect all the way at our lands.”
I sighed. “I don’t want your thanks. I don’t want anything from you.”
“I know Atasha gave you the medicine. I can see the power flowing through you. You’ll need help getting trained to control it.”
Something in her voice set me on edge. I glanced at Atasha, but she looked fine, and her smile was genuine. “I volunteered to train you,” she said. “At your city of course, if it is permitted.”
My gaze went to Dwight and Shanton. Their expressions were carefully schooled to give nothing away. This was my decision.
“Yes, I’d like that. But only you.”
“And one guard,” Elaria said.
I frowned at her. “And one guard,” I amended. “Of Atasha’s choosing.”
Elaria’s lips pressed tightly together, but she nodded.
“Great.” Atasha looked so happy, and I had to admit, I looked forward to seeing her again. She was probably the only elementalist I enjoyed being around.
“Leave, now,” the old woman barked out.
Elaria glared at her, but instead of saying anything, like I expected, she walked out the door. Atasha surprised me with a hug, drawing me tightly against her. “A
nd if you want that ceremony performed with you and your mates, let me know. I’ll gladly do it for you. You deserve a happily ever after.” With that, she pulled away and walked back out.
“I’m not sure what just happened,” I said.
“Me either,” Davies said.
“Think about it later, for now, get some sleep. We have a long journey back tomorrow,” Shanton said.
“Can’t you just shift into your dragon and fly us all back?” I asked, adding in a small pout.
“I can with you, but I don’t think you’ll appreciate me leaving the others behind.” He nudged me toward a cot and kept doing so until I crawled in. He kissed my forehead. “Sweet dreams tonight, Laila. Leave the demons for tomorrow.” Shanton’s hands covered my eyes and I have no idea how it worked, but somehow it did. I was out quickly after that.
Epilogue
Siitha rolled around the backyard, way too happy with the space. The sun shined on my yard, and for the first time, it felt amazing to stare at the plot of land and know it was mine. Venni sat with me at the back of my house on the porch swing. I had one foot tucked underneath me and the other on the floor to keep the swing moving.
If I listened carefully, I could hear all the others moving my stuff into the house. They weren’t exactly quiet about it. Especially Davies. He was, of course, goofing off as he lugged boxes around. I was glad I marked all the boxes exactly where I wanted everything. That allowed me to sit out here with Venni while they put everything right where I wanted it for now. Once everything was moved in, I’d reassess where things went, and unpack. I was going to make this house mine.
Siitha found a stick and used his paws to toss it in the air before jumping after it.
“He acts like a kitten more so than a cat,” I said and chuckled as he continued to rage war against the stick. I wasn’t so sure who was winning, Siitha or the stick. He tossed it up again, but missed when it came back down and got hit in the head for all his hard work.
“He’s still growing.”
“Damn. Is he going to get bigger? Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked Venni. He was still on bed rest until he was back to full strength. Apparently, that meant being able to lift up a small car. I was also on resting duty, not allowed back at Biomystic for two weeks, and Dwight gave me a list of people he trusted for me to talk to if I wished. It wasn’t mandatory, but it was highly recommended. Or so he said. The last I saw the paper, Dwight had managed to find a magnet and post it on my fridge in the kitchen. The joke was on him though. I rarely used my kitchen.
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