by Dylan Peters
“Then one day she wasn’t at the bus stop anymore. I heard the other kids laughing, making sick jokes about her, and then I started to remember something I had heard about a girl who jumped in front of a bus. So I ran back in the house, searched on the computer, and then there it was on the screen, the horrible thing I had let happen.”
“I didn’t want him to find out like this!” Anna yelled and started wheeling herself away from us.
Jim walked up and stood right in front of me. “So now you know the secret. Now you know exactly what kind of scumbag I am. I watched Anna get picked on until she wanted to commit suicide, and I did nothing. She’s in that wheelchair because of me.”
My jaw was trembling, and my fists were balled. Tears were forming at the corners of my eyes, and I didn’t know if I wanted to scream or cry, but I knew I hated Jim. I hated him so much it hurt.
Before I realized what I was doing, I punched Jim in the face as hard as I could, and then I ran after Anna.
10
It didn’t take long to find Anna tucked behind a thick clump of gnarled black trees, her arms wrapped around Wisket, her glasses off, and tears streaming down her reddened cheeks. Suddenly, I was caught between wanting to approach Anna and fearing how she might react to me. If I couldn’t help her now, if I couldn’t console her, if she just wanted me to go away… that would hurt in a way I wasn’t sure I could handle; that rejection would last. But I told myself that this wasn’t about me. If I really cared, this was only about giving Anna whatever she needed. It’s hard to realize that sometimes people need you to be just as vulnerable as they are, because when someone is hurting, what they need most is to know they’re not alone.
I walked slowly up to Anna and said her name softly. She lifted her head from Wisket’s fur and rubbed her eyes. She didn’t put her glasses back on though, as if keeping me out of focus could also keep me at a distance.
“It wasn’t just at the bus stop,” she said. “It was at school, it was after school, and even sometimes it was when I was at home. Some of the bullies lived in my neighborhood. I couldn’t get away from them, and I never knew when it was coming.”
“You don’t have to justify anything to me, Anna,” I said, and I meant it.
“I do,” she said. “You didn’t do what I did. You weren’t weak like me.”
“You weren’t weak,” I said. “You were just mistaken. You thought you were out of options, and that things were hopeless. You just made a mistake. I’ve made mistakes too.”
“I couldn’t ever get away from them, you know?” Anna said.
“I do,” I said. I could tell she needed to unburden herself.
Anna continued. “The stuff at the bus stop wasn’t even the worst. I got used to being pushed or having things thrown at me. What really hurt was how they turned so many people against me at school. It mostly came from this one girl, Felicia Stringer. She would tell her friends a lie about me, and then they would tell everyone they knew, and it would just get out of control. Kids I didn’t even know would make comments to me as they passed me in the hall. I didn’t want to tell the teachers or my parents because it was embarrassing. You have no idea the kind of stuff they would say about me. I didn’t even want to repeat it, and it was all lies. I don’t even know why they were doing it.”
“Because they were weak and afraid,” I said, my anger rising. “Because if it was happening to you then it meant it wasn’t happening to them. They were cowards.”
“I just felt like I couldn’t breathe, you know?” Anna was choking up again. “It was like drowning. I couldn’t get away from it at home either. Kids from school would post lies on the internet about me. They spray-painted words on my house once. My parents saw those words. I had to make up an excuse so my parents thought it was just random vandalism. I was too ashamed to tell them the truth. What was I supposed to say, that the whole school wished I was dead?”
I sat down on the ground in front of Anna and took her hand in mine. I didn’t say anything. I just held her hand.
“I was alone,” she said as she stared down at me, “and I thought it was never going to end. I had to go to school with those people. I had to live in the same neighborhood with them. I thought about running away, but it all seemed so hopeless, and that feeling just grew a little bit stronger every day until I didn’t want to feel anymore. I just wanted to be gone. I just wanted to close my eyes and be gone forever.
“After I did what I did, I was in the hospital for a long time. My parents were always there, and I finally told them a lot of what happened. They told me I didn’t have to go back to school, and they told me they would do whatever they had to so I never got bullied again. It was so hard to see the pain on their faces. They felt like they failed me, but I felt like I had failed them. I just remember my mom crying, and telling me that I wasn’t alone, but it didn’t make me feel any different. I still felt alone.”
“You’re not, though,” I said. “You’re not alone anymore, Anna.”
“I know,” she said sullenly. Anna rubbed her eyes dry and put her glasses back on. “I have Wisket now.”
No, that’s not what I meant, I thought. Damn it, Arthur, tell her what you mean. For once in your life speak the things that matter.
“No,” I said, probably too loud.
Anna was a little startled, and slightly pulled her hand back, but I didn’t let it go. I wasn’t going to back away from this moment.
“What I meant is that you have more than just Wisket. You have me, too. Whatever that’s worth to you, you have me, too. I’m not going to leave you unless you don’t want me around.”
Anna’s hand relaxed in mine, but she still looked sad, like she didn’t believe me. She looked at me vacantly, as if I was just another person pitying her. She looked at me like someone who had heard these words before and didn’t have the strength to let herself believe them again.
“I’m not just saying this because I think you need me,” I added. “I know you don’t need me, and I’m not saying this out of pity, because I don’t pity you at all. I want to be here with you. I believe in you.”
A slight smile formed at the corners of Anna’s mouth, but there was still reservation. It was just the way she looked after Kay had given her the crown. Anna was afraid of happiness. She was distrustful of other people. I knew exactly what that was like.
“I know what it is like to walk the halls of school and know, or think you know, that everyone is out to get you,” I said. “I failed a math class one year because I couldn’t concentrate on my work. All I could do was think that in the next hour the bell was going to ring, and I was going to have to leave the classroom and walk past Todd Donalds, and he was going to push me into the lockers, or punch me in the arm, or call me crap stain, or whatever new thing he came up with. I know what it’s like to be in a locker room with a bunch of older, bigger, stronger guys as they pick apart every little weakness they see in you. I know what it’s like to have girls laugh at you in the hallways because some jerk told them a lie about you to make himself look cooler. I know what it’s like to feel like a whole world of people are talking about some stupid thing you did like it’s the end of the world. I know shame. I know loneliness.
“But I also know it doesn’t have to be like that. Not anymore. The world is bigger than some stupid kids in some stupid school, and we can be bigger than all of it. We don’t need Jim and Kay’s pity, and we don’t need anybody’s approval to be who we are. In my mind, I always blamed that stuff that happened to me in school on not having a dad, as if it made something wrong with me, but really it wasn’t something wrong with me at all. I wasn’t the one who had something to be ashamed of. You don’t have anything to be ashamed of. We all make mistakes, and if you feel like the whole world is against you, you should know that it’s not, because I’m a part of the world and I’m not against you. When I came out of the Nullwood alone, when people would have shot me dead, when Jim and Kay would have kicked me out, and left me to fend off
the mynahs by myself, you were there. You were there for me when I needed you, and… and I still do.”
Wisket jumped off of Anna’s lap as she leaned forward, and then she pushed herself out of her chair and into my lap where she put her arms around me and hugged me hard.
“Thank you,” she said with her head against my chest.
I hugged her back but didn’t say anything else. I was too stunned and happy, probably happier than I’ve ever been.
After a minute she pulled away just enough that I thought I should help her back into her chair. After I did, we looked at each other and laughed. We laughed like friends, or I don’t know, like people who have shared something special for the first time.
“I punched Jim in the face,” I said.
“What?” Anna said in amazement. “You’re kidding.”
“No,” I said. “Right after you left. I just got really mad at him, and I hauled off and punched him. I’ve never punched anybody before… ever.”
“What did he do?” Anna asked with wide eyes.
“I don’t really know,” I admitted. “Right after I did it, I ran after you. I think maybe he fell down, but I’m not sure.”
“He’s going to be mad,” Anna said, but she was practically laughing as she said it.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “He deserved it, and we don’t need him and Kay anyway.”
Anna looked down at Wisket who sat next to her chair. “Yeah,” she said, “but they need us.”
I hadn’t thought about that, but Anna was right. Wisket was with us, but Reego had stayed with Jim and Kay. The dog was smart enough to know it wasn’t safe to leave them alone. If we continued to the Starless Tower with Reego and Wisket, Jim and Kay would never make it back out of the Nullwood, not without the aid of a mystical. Leaving them without one would be a heartless thing to do.
“You’re right,” I said. “We’re going to have to take them back to the edge of the Nullwood.”
“Unless we can convince them to stay,” Anna said. “Maybe we don’t need them, maybe we do, but either way we should still try to stay together.”
“Okay,” I said. “We’ll try.”
She reached her hand out for me to take. “Together?”
I took Anna’s hand in mine and nodded. “Together.”
Just then, Wisket pawed at Anna’s leg.
“What is it?” she asked the fox. Wisket jumped into Anna’s lap as she looked over him with concern. “Reego? What’s wrong with him?” Anna paused and then looked up at me. “We have to get back. Something’s happened to Reego.”
“I’ll push,” I said. “Hold on.”
I took hold of Anna’s wheelchair and headed back to where Jim, Kay, and Reego had been. It seemed we wouldn’t get a moment of peace this day, and again my mind returned to worrying. Luckily, we hadn’t been far away, and the dark thoughts didn’t have long to brew before Jim, Kay, and Reego were back in sight.
To our shock, they were not alone. Jim was on his knees next to a heap of something on the forest floor. Reego was nosing the heap, and Kay was looking down at it from where she stood behind Jim. As we came closer and closer we saw the heap in more detail, and before we knew it we realized we were looking at–
“Oh my god,” Anna exclaimed. “It’s Ah’Rhea!”
We reached the group, and there she was before us. Ah’Rhea was conscious, but not doing well. Her clothes were even more tattered, and her leg was in a bad state. Honestly, if she hadn’t been moving I would have assumed she was dead.
Jim and Kay looked at us as we reached them, and I was surprised that Jim’s face wasn’t twisted in anger. Instead, it was etched in worry, though he did have a cut on his left cheek and a badly bruised eye. What had happened between the two of us seemed to be the least of his concerns.
“Thank god, you’re back,” Jim said to us. “She says she escaped the Starless Tower, but she’s barely holding on. We don’t know what to do.”
“Can’t Reego heal her?” Anna asked.
“No, he can’t,” Ah’Rhea said in a raspy voice. “I need the Everflame.”
“He healed me,” Kay said. “I was attacked on our first day in the Nullwood. I had a deep wound on my neck and he healed it.”
Ah’Rhea looked at Reego in a way that seemed to ask ‘is this true?’ There was a moment of silent communication between them, and then Ah’Rhea spoke again.
“This forest is powerful, isn’t it?” she asked rhetorically.
“So why isn’t Reego healing her?” I asked.
“He’s hesitant,” Anna said. “I can feel his fear through Wisket. Maybe he’s afraid he’ll fail and lose her.”
“You have to try,” Jim said to the dog.
“Can’t Wisket help?” I asked.
It was as if the mystical animals hadn’t considered that, because as soon as the words left my mouth Reego and Wisket locked eyes with each other in silent congress. Then the winged fox jumped from Anna’s lap to stand next to Reego, and the mysticals began their work.
A band of light appeared between Reego and Wisket and swelled until it had surrounded each of them. The golden light pulsed, and the Nullwood was so quiet I could almost hear the energy hum as it flowed from the mystical animals. It grew and grew until it slowly covered Ah’Rhea. The four of us backed away from her and stared in awe.
For a moment, Reego swayed and almost lost his footing, but Wisket moved closer to him for support, and as he did, the light grew. Soon the wild dog stood tall once more. Both mysticals now had their teeth bared and their hind legs braced hard against the ground. They were focused, each giving their maximum effort.
Suddenly, a loud crackle ripped the air and pink electricity surged from one of the black trees of the Nullwood. It connected with Reego and Wisket, and Anna gasped, worried about the mysticals. Yet as we watched on it became obvious the forest wasn’t fighting against Reego and Wisket; it was helping them. Quickly they seemed to be gaining strength. Then another tree crackled to life and sent blue electricity to join the healing aura. Another sent green-colored power to help, and a fourth tree sent yellow electricity.
A spectacle of light grew before us, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. The mysticals were using every last bit of their energy, all while serving as conduits for the Nullwood. If this didn’t heal Ah’Rhea, I was afraid nothing would.
At last, Reego and Wisket fell to the ground in exhaustion, the light disappeared, and the forest returned to its dormant state. I held my breath and stared with my eyes wide. Ah’Rhea coughed, and then sat upright in a cold sweat as if she had just woken from a nightmare. We rushed to her, and Jim brought out some water.
“Are you all right?” he asked, putting a hand behind her back to steady her.
She looked down at her leg and then clutched it as if checking to see if it was still there. There was no longer a wound, nor any sign of infection.
“It worked,” Ah’Rhea said in disbelief. “I’m healed.”
“You’re still weak though,” Jim said. “Here.” He handed her the water. “Drink this.”
Ah’Rhea took the water and drank deeply. As she did, I went to the mysticals to make sure they were all right. Anna joined me, visibly concerned for Wisket’s well-being. The mysticals were both lying on the ground, panting heavily, completely exhausted. Wisket let me pick him up, and I gently placed him in Anna’s lap.
After a moment with him, she announced, “He’s okay. He’s tired, really tired, but okay.” She wrapped her arms around the mystical lightly. “You’re so brave, Wisket. I love you so much.”
I knelt down to Reego and rubbed him behind the ears.
“Please, bring him to me,” Ah’Rhea said.
I lifted the dog off the ground and carried him over to Ah’Rhea. When I placed him in her lap she fawned over him just as Anna was doing to Wisket. The dog licked her nose and Ah’Rhea smiled.
“Reego will be fine, as well,” she said.
We all exhaled a sigh of relie
f.
I had so many questions as I stared at Ah’Rhea with Reego in her lap, and I knew the others must have questions as well. But before I could speak, Ah’Rhea beat me to the punch.
“How long have you been here in the Nullwood,” she asked, and then without giving us a chance to answer, “Have you found any sign of the Everflame?”
Unfortunately, we hadn’t, but her questions didn’t end there.
“Have you remembered anything of the Nullwood from before we met?” she asked me. “Have you had any more visions of your time here?”
“No,” I answered to both questions.
“Have you tried?”
Again, I had to say no.
“Where were you heading?” she continued, her questioning bordering on interrogation.
“The Starless Tower,” I answered. “We met someone who told us the mynahs bring people there. We were coming to save you.”
“Without the flame?” Ah’Rhea asked incredulously.
“Well…” I shrugged pathetically.
“I suppose the Tower should be your path now,” Ah’Rhea said, sounding resigned. “You stand a greater chance of freeing her if we are together with the mysticals.”
“Freeing her?” I asked.
Ah’Rhea looked at me with wide eyes. “That’s where she is. Your mother is captive in the Starless Tower.”
11
I stared numbly at the faces surrounding me, then at the black gnarled trees, and then to the once blue sky that was clouding over and darkening by the minute. They all seemed to be leering at me forebodingly, as if they were leading me on to the edge of a cliff and daring me to jump.
I had felt like an accessory in this adventure, a bystander pulled into someone else’s story. I was merely a witness to Kay’s battle against fear and change, to Jim’s battle against his past and his guilt, to Anna’s battle for her future and quest to find Ah’Rhea. But now…
A tidal wave had swept us up and jumbled everything. I was flotsam in the rush, and before I could catch a breath I was suddenly thrust into my story, my own battle. We would no longer be following Wisket and Reego’s intuitions. We would no longer be deferring to Anna—we had found Ah’Rhea. Both Jim and Kay had tipped their hands. They were finished with their battles, for better or worse. Now there was just me, figuratively alone under the darkening sky of the Nullwood.
