Her soul.
Fuck, that's cheesy. I can barely stand thinking it.
I guide her into position, one hand on the neck of the bass guitar, one hand on the body.
I show her how to pluck and how to fret.
Each time the instrument responds to her, she lets out another little groan.
This isn't my expertise, but I know enough to take her through the entire riff.
She squeals when she plays the entire thing on her own. "I haven't played an instrument since elementary school."
"Violin?" I guess.
She laughs. "How did you know?"
"Lucky guess." I drag my lips over her neck until my mouth is hovering over her ear. "You want to play the song with us or you want to go back to reading?"
She cocks her head. "I'll play it once."
Mal nods to her. "Start on the count of three, all right?"
She nods.
He counts down.
She does start on three. She doesn't quite get keeping the beat, but she manages to play the riff.
This time, Mal belts out the lyrics with his usual breathy groaning style.
When we're done, Bella slides the instrument off her shoulders and sets it back in its stand. Her expression is filled with a beautiful mix of delight and exhaustion.
"You want to go to a show tomorrow?" I ask
She looks into my eyes. "Your band or another band?"
I mime being stabbed in the gut. "That's cold, Bella. You'd go see someone else over us?"
She laughs. "I like collecting information."
"We're playing in Hollywood tomorrow," Mal says. "Last minute thing."
She shoots me a look. Is he full of shit?
I nod. He's incredibly full of shit. But— "It will be fun."
"Sure." She motions to the door. "I'll let you guys finish."
"You can stay," I say.
"I know." She catches me staring at her tits and motions my eyes are up here. "But I'm getting this strange feeling I'm not good for your productivity."
That's true.
Not that I'm complaining.
She nods goodbye and closes the door behind her.
Mal shoots me an accusatory look. "Album was due a month ago."
"And?"
"We should get in the studio ASAP."
"Sure."
He stares at me.
I stare back at him.
Fuck, I'm losing this staring contest.
I clear my throat. "Is that all?"
"You like her."
"Why do you think I married her?"
His expression gets serious. "I got a call from our law firm last night. Something about wanting to move an appointment."
I clear my throat.
"For a second, I thought you were getting ready to make due on all those threats to leave the band."
I'd rather not share this detail with Mal, but he's not going to drop this. I keep my voice even. "She wants a divorce."
"And you don't?"
I nod. "Being with her feels right."
He chuckles. "That's it?"
"What else is there?"
"True." He thinks for a moment. When he speaks, his voice is matter of fact. "So you have a week to convince her to stay married to you?"
"Yeah."
"She's a smart girl. You're going to have to do better than it feels right to convince her."
That much I know.
I haven't figured out the how.
But I'll get there.
Somehow, I'll get there.
11
Joel
After Mal leaves, I join Bella in the kitchen. She's sipping tea and reading. A mostly empty bowl of cereal is next to her.
I refill her bowl and steal her spoon. "Is that Harry?"
She blushes. "This whole wand thing is making me self-conscious about enjoying a YA fantasy series."
"What book are you on?"
"Prisoner of Azkaban." Her lips curl into a smile as she studies my expression. "Nothing to say about that one?"
"That's the one with the werewolf?"
She nods.
"You know werewolves are one big metaphor for male sexuality."
"They are?"
I nod.
"No offense Joel, but you don't strike me as the intellectual type."
I mime being stabbed in the gut. "How could you? I'm very fucking intellectual."
She raises a brow. Really?
I laugh. "My sister. She's a shrink. She used to talk about this shit all the time." I take another bite of cereal, chew, swallow. "Werewolves are all about how male sexuality is dangerous and scary. Men get this urge to become animals and they can't stop themselves from transforming into beasts."
"Huh." She takes a sip of her tea. "What about the full moon thing?"
"What about it?"
"The moon is a metaphor for female reproduction, because the lunar cycle is about as long as the menstrual cycle. And people only change to werewolves during the full moon."
I laugh. "I've got nothing."
"It could be that they become beasts when women are ovulating."
"It's all about making babies?"
"Maybe." She takes another long sip of her tea. This time, she lets out a soft moan. "But then 'moon time' usually means a period."
"You saying my metaphor is falling apart?"
"It needs some finessing."
I steal her tea and take a sip. "You have to admit, those werewolf guys are totally into each other."
"Sirius and Remus?"
"Yeah. Total wolf on wolf action."
She laughs and steals her tea back. "Sirius isn't a werewolf. He's an animagus."
"A what?"
"A shapeshifter. He can turn into a dog."
"But they are fucking."
"Maybe."
"Definitely."
"I never thought about it. I'm not really into guy on guy."
I raise a brow.
"Really. I guess… I'm not really sure what I'm into. Besides the usual."
"More than happy to help you figure that out."
She blushes.
I could push her.
But I like just talking to her. Even about nothing. It's easy. I don't get that with anyone else.
After I finish my cereal I leave the bowl in the sink. Then I steal her tea again.
"Hey." She pushes me playfully.
I slide out of my seat and hold the cup over my head.
She stands to reach for it. She's not quite there. "You're too tall."
I nod.
She looks up at me. Her expression softens. Again, she rises to her tiptoes. This time, her hands go to my hips.
Her eyes flutter closed.
Her lips brush against mine.
It starts soft.
Then she's kissing me harder.
Deeper.
I drop the cup on the counter and I slide my arms around her waist.
This is our first real kiss since our wedding night.
Fuck, she tastes good.
I hold her body against mine.
She digs her fingers into my skin.
Her tongue slides around mine.
I've kissed a lot. But this is different. I can feel her affection pouring into me. I can feel our connection. And not just in my cock.
She pulls back with a needy sigh. She's still looking up at me, her eyes full of something I can't quite place.
She reaches for her tea and downs the rest of it.
Fuck, I'm actually speechless.
I clear my throat. "You tried something new."
She nods.
"Did you like it?"
"I didn't hate it."
"You fucking liked it."
"Okay." She sets her mug on the counter. "I did like it."
"We have all day. We can try all sorts of shit."
"I'm not sure I want to spend the entire day trying new things. Sounds exhausting."
"All right." I have a better idea. "
You've never been to L.A. right?"
She shakes her head.
"You want to see the city, the beach, or the mountains?"
"This does not count as a city."
"Manhattan snob."
She laughs. "True."
"The beach or the mountains?"
"Both."
"I have just the ticket."
I'm not at all surprised that Bella has workout clothes in her bag.
Or that she insists on sunscreen with at least SPF 30.
Or that she's still wearing that please fuck me look in her eyes.
I'm a little surprised by her requesting a hat, but only because my Giants cap looks out of place on her head.
After we change, fill water bottles, and check sunscreen twice, we get in my car and we head towards Malibu. The road is clear. That's one perk of the holidays. Nobody at work means nobody heading home.
We zip up Pacific Coast Highway, the ocean on our left, the mountains on our right, the sun shining high above us.
It's a beautiful, blue day, the kind of day I usually take for granted. But with the way Bella is looking at the sun with a smile, I'm acutely aware of how lucky I am to live in paradise.
She motions to the stereo. "You mind?"
I shake my head. "You can hook up your phone if you want to play something."
"Even if I play Lady Gaga?"
"As long as you're okay with me singing along to Poker Face."
She laughs. "You're taunting me."
"Me, taunting? Never."
Her laugh is louder this time. It fills the entire car. "You're a tease." Her voice is needy in that I'm trying not to think about sex way. "I should pick something." She attaches the aux cable to her cell's headphone jack and she taps the screen a few times. "There."
Music fills the car. It's not Lady Gaga. It's the Beach Boys.
I shoot her a really look. "Am I a California stereotype?"
"You're tan. You're blond. You're famous. You surf. You look great in sunglasses. Start calling people dude and you're there."
"Dude, that's not cool."
"If you don't like the music, I'll change it."
"Do you like it?"
She looks me in the eyes. Her voice is confident, assertive. "Yes, I do. It makes me feel like I'm on vacation."
I'll take it.
Bella's eyes go wide as she steps out of the car and takes in the view.
I take her hand and lead her to the start of the hiking trail. She presses her palm into mine, sticking close, breathing deep, taking in every sight and sound.
I'm used to the Malibu Canyon mountains. I'm used to the grey-brown patches of dirt, the mix of green and amber grass, the scraggly trees that cast shade.
I'm even used to seeing the ocean whenever I feel like it.
Bella isn't. She takes in all her surroundings, carefully noting every rock or bump or hole in the path.
I let her get a few steps ahead of me so I can check out her ass. Damn, I want my hands on those round hips. I want to watch her flesh slam into my pelvis as I fuck her doggy style.
Fuck. I'm getting distracted. I can't remember the last time I was around someone I wanted and I didn't fuck her right away.
But that's no excuse. This hike isn't about my dirty thoughts. It's about showing Bella a good time.
I take a few swigs of water to cool off. It doesn't help. Not when I have a prime view of Bella's ass.
I go back to leading the way. The sky is blue. The sun is bright. The ocean is sparkling.
But it's still Bella that has my attention. Every time I turn back to check on her, I get lost in the flush spreading over her cheeks and chest.
Fuck, she looks good in that tight outfit.
Sweat dripping off her forehead.
Her chest heaving with every labored breath.
Damn, I'm getting too many ideas. But I like getting her messy. Dirty. She's not the prim and proper woman running away from… from something right now.
She's in her body.
"What was it you said before?" She drops her voice an octave to imitate me. "If you're going to think about fucking me, fill me in on the details?"
I nod. That is what I said before.
She hipchecks me. "Well?"
"I'm going to be explicit about it."
"I can handle it."
She can't. I shouldn't push her.
But the way she's looking at me, all that need in her brown eyes.
I cock a brow. "You sure?"
She nods.
I motion to the alcove on our right. "I was thinking about taking you into the shade, and rubbing you over your leggings until I got you so wet the fabric was soaked." I lean in to whisper. Already, I'm getting hard. But I don't fucking care. I need her needing this as badly as I do. I need her needing me. "Getting you so close to coming you were begging for release, then making you wait the entire drive home, and all through our showers until I'd finally pin you to my bed and fuck your gorgeous ass."
"Oh. Uh. I…" She clears her throat. She pulls back enough to look me in the eyes. A flush spreads over her cheeks. Her tongue slides over her lips. Her nails dig into her thighs, over her leggings.
She wants that too.
Needs it.
Her eyes meet mine. "I don't think you can do it. I don't think you can get me to the edge then walk away." She swallows hard. Her chest heaves with her inhale and falls with her exhale. "I don't think you can resist making me come."
That's a challenge.
But I can't take it until she's begging me.
She clears her throat and moves a few steps ahead.
She's thinking about it.
Then so am I.
We fall back into an easy silence. The wind rustles the brush. Her breath is heavy. Mine too. Our footsteps are soft. Easy. We go like that for minutes.
Bella stops under the shade, on top of a dusty rock. She holds her hands over her eyes to shield them from the sun. "If I lived here, I guess I'd have prescription sunglasses."
"You don't?"
"I do. But I didn't think I'd need them in Vegas." She leans against the rock. Her eyes meet mine, but she doesn't say anything.
"It's bright in the desert."
She nods.
"But you weren't planning on seeing much of outside."
Again, she nods.
"You said you flew there to blow off steam."
"Yeah."
"Why?"
She's quiet for a long moment. When she speaks, her voice is soft. "I'm in law school. I finished my first semester a week and a half ago. Then I got my grades." Her gaze goes to her feet. "Mostly Cs. I'd never got a C before and all of a sudden I had three."
"Never?"
"I got two Bs in college and both were… I was not happy."
"The smart sister doesn't get Bs?"
She nods. "Yeah. My entire life, I had this plan. I was going to be a lawyer. Like my parents. And I did it all right—excellent high school transcripts, great grades at Harvard, admission into Columbia Law School, internships at the right places, summer jobs doing research." Her voice drops. "Then… then I got to school and it was too hard. I tried. All I did, all semester, was study and go to the gym."
"Yeah?"
She nods. "But I got Cs."
"Can you graduate with straight Cs?"
"In theory." She stares at the inside of her wrists. The left. Then the right. "But probably not in reality."
I move closer.
Closer.
She looks up at me. Her voice is shaky. Vulnerable. "I failed. I didn't know what to do. Only that I didn't want to think for a while. That I had to be somewhere else… with someone else."
"So you flew to Vegas?"
She nods. "It would have been easier to go to Atlantic City. Or to go to some club downtown. But that was too—"
"Too close to home."
"Yeah." She bites her lip. "I still don't know what to do. What I'm going to do with my entire life. If I can go bac
k to law school. If I want to." She swallows hard. "I've never failed before."
"Everyone fails sometimes."
She shakes her head. "You have?"
Yeah, but I can't seem to recall anything major at the moment.
This close to her, it's hard to recall anything, period.
"Do you want to be a lawyer?" I ask.
She presses her lips together. "That's the plan."
"But is it what you want?"
"I don't know. I've never stopped to think about what I want." Her voice is a whisper. "My entire life, I've had this plan. Without it, I have nothing. I have no idea what I'm going to do."
"Did you plan on marrying a stranger in Vegas?"
"No. But we're… we're going to get a divorce and that will be…" Her eyes turn down. "I don't know, Joel… I don't know what I'm supposed to do here. I like you. A lot. I don't want to like you. Not if this is ending in a week." Her cheeks flush as she looks me in the eyes. "Right now… it hurts thinking about this."
I get that.
"Did you mean what you said?" Even though no one else is here, she leans in to whisper. "About touching me then making me wait."
My cock stirs. That will get her out of her head. And I don't exactly mind. "Yeah."
"Will you do it?"
"Only if you beg."
"Will you… Will you touch me? Please."
I want to.
But I'm not sure now is the time.
I run my fingers over her cheek.
She lets out a soft murmur as her eyes flutter closed. Already, the tension in her brow is easing.
This is what she needs.
She looks up at me. "Please, Joel." She slides her hand under my t-shirt and presses her palm against my stomach. "Please touch me."
I stare back at her. "Don't blame me when you're desperate and wanting the entire drive home."
Her voice gets confident. "I won't."
Fuck, the fierce look in her eyes…
I slide my hand around her neck and pin her to the rock.
She groans as she kisses me.
Her tongue slides into my mouth.
Her body melts against mine.
Her fingers dig into my arms.
Her touch is soft and hard at once.
Need and affection.
She wants me.
And she likes me.
And that really fucking matters to me.
God dammit, she tastes good.
My cock is screaming to be inside her.
Not yet.
I drag my hand up the inside of her thigh and I rub her over her leggings.
Dangerous Rock: A Rock Star Romance (Dangerous Noise Book 3) Page 8
