by Andrew Grey
Chapter 9
DAYS and weeks passed faster than Jonathon could have ever imagined. “Fabian,” Jonathon called as he heard his lover walk out of the bathroom one floor below, then heard his feet on the stairs. Throwing back the covers, he pulled his clothes out of the wardrobe, meeting Fabian at the top of the staircase.
“It is not necessary for you to get up with me every morning,” Fabian said with a smile that told Jonathon he was happy about it nonetheless. They had less than a week before he had to return to New York, and Jonathon had determined a while ago that, though they might have to part, he was going to make the most of the time they had together, and if that meant getting up early to walk Fabian to the subway, that was okay with him. Fabian kissed him gently before dropping his towel, standing naked before bending to pull on his clothes, presenting that perfect backside. “Hey,” Fabian gasped as Jonathon gave one of the cheeks a light pinch.
Jonathon chuckled as he leaned in, giving an apology kiss before pulling on his clothes and hurrying down to the bathroom. He cleaned up in a hurry and opened the door to find Fabian standing there, waiting for him with a goofy grin on his face. Jonathon didn’t know what it meant until he was tugged close and kissed hard. “You really are special,” Fabian told him softly as Jonathon returned the hug, resting his head on Fabian’s shoulder.
“You’re going to be late,” Jonathon commented, but he really didn’t want to stop what they were doing. It just felt so good. Finally, he released his lover and finished dressing just in time for them to leave the apartment.
The clouds overhead seemed to reach down between the houses, sending dampness through Jonathon’s clothes as they walked across the courtyard and out through the gate. Approaching the corner, Jonathon saw the rent boy standing on the corner, huddled inside a thin jacket pulled tight around him. “What’s he doing out at this hour?” Fabian asked as they passed. “I know you’ve been watching—I have too—but do you think we should let it go?”
Turning the corner, Jonathon forced himself to look away and watch where they were going. “Probably,” Jonathon answered, knowing Fabian was right. It wasn’t as though he was qualified to investigate Reiner’s death. Over the last few weeks, he’d been paying special attention, but he hadn’t seen anything he wouldn’t have expected. He couldn’t save the world, no matter how much he wished that the need for kids like the boy on the corner to sell themselves didn’t exist. It did, and that was part of the way of the world.
“I know it hurts you and brings up memories you’d probably rather forget, but….” Fabian stopped walking. “Your caring nature is part of why I love you, and it’s a big part of why I wish you would stay. Wish you could stay,” he modified quickly.
“I know. I hate that I have to go, and I hate that you can’t come with me.” Jonathon stroked his hand down Fabian’s arm, and he stepped closer.
“We have talked about this until we cannot talk anymore,” Fabian began, “and we agreed to make the most of the time we have.” His voice softened.
“I know.” The words were on the tip of his tongue, to say that he’d get an apartment in Vienna and stay. But that would be only temporary. He couldn’t work, and eventually his visa would run out and he’d have to go back anyway. Besides, he couldn’t run away from his memories, no matter how much he wanted to. He had to go back, if for no other reason than to prove to himself that he could go back and live a normal life without Greg. Here, things were easy—there were no memories, and he was on a long vacation. But this wasn’t his life, and this wasn’t home, even if he wanted it to be. God, it was hard to explain even to himself, let alone anyone else. Thankfully, Fabian had understood, or at least he’d tried to. Jonathon was going to miss the beautiful man something fierce.
Fabian resumed walking and Jonathon followed, lost in his own thoughts. “I wanted to take you out tonight,” Fabian said, breaking Jonathon out of his thoughts.
“That’d be nice,” Jonathon answered as they approached the subway station. “I’ll see you after work.” Other people pushed around them, but Jonathon stepped closer, heedless of anyone watching, and kissed Fabian good-bye before watching him descend into the station.
Turning around, he began walking back to the apartment. It was still early, and while he had things he wanted to do today, he didn’t have to be anywhere in a hurry. The dampness seemed to seep all the way into his bones, and the largely silent restaurant tables with their closed umbrellas only seemed to add to the gloomy mood of the day. Walking faster, Jonathon approached the corner and once again saw the boy, huddled as deeply in his jacket as possible. Jonathon watched him for a few seconds, not really wanting to draw his attention.
A deep rumble sounded from behind him. Turning around, Jonathon saw a huge Mercedes traveling fast, bouncing over the road toward him. Brakes sounded, and Jonathon saw the car come to a halt, and the kid moved toward the rear door. For just a few seconds, Jonathon caught a glimpse of the kid’s face, lower lip curled between his teeth, eyes wide. His body was stiff. There was no doubt: this kid was near panic. A window lowered, and an unseen voice barked out something that made the kid jump and then move faster. This was the person Jonathon had been hoping to see, and he found himself staring, trying to see and hear more, but his own fear took hold.
A hand reached out of the window, yanking the kid close, slamming him against the side of the car with a thunk. Forcing his feet to move, Jonathon turned away and hurried down the street. But after taking a few steps, he forced himself to stop, turning back to see the hand from inside the car shove the kid away. His foot caught on the curb, and he fell backwards with a small cry. Another bark from inside the car, and the window silently lifted and the car began moving. Then it stopped again, the window lowering slightly, and Jonathon saw a pair of eyes peering out, looking at him. He couldn’t suppress a shiver at the malice he felt in those few seconds. Forcing himself to lower his eyes and turn away, he walked slowly down the street as if he hadn’t seen anything, hoping he hadn’t roused the suspicions of whoever was in that car enough to follow him.
His feet feeling like lead, he forced his legs to move, and as he approached the gate, he glanced back and saw that the car was gone and the boy was picking himself up off the sidewalk. Looking around, Jonathon stepped through the gate, feeling like a complete and total coward. Closing it behind him, he walked to his door and slammed it behind him. God damn it, he could talk a good game about how important it was not to let people be victimized, but when it came time for him to do something about it, he couldn’t even help the kid up off the pavement—he’d just run away. At least he’d gotten the plate information from the car, not that he knew what to do with it. Stepping to the table, he wrote it on a pad before climbing the stairs and flopping onto the sofa, thinking. Finally deciding what he needed to do, he picked up the phone.
“WELL, what did you expect?” Fabian asked as he sat down at the table. “A brigade of emergency vehicles descending on the neighborhood?”
“I know,” Jonathon answered, handing Fabian a drink before joining him at the table. “I thought I was helping, but I guess it doesn’t really matter.” Jonathon looked down at the tabletop, sulking behind his glass.
A chair leg scraped the floor, and then hands slid over his shoulders and down his chest. “It does matter, to me. You watched and you gave the police the information, that’s all you could do, and that’s more than most people would.” Fabian leaned closer, lips nibbling lightly on his ear. “Besides, we have a date.”
Jonathon turned around to say something, and his mouth was immediately put to better use, Fabian’s tongue sliding along his lip. “What should I wear?”
“Something nice, we’re going dancing,” Fabian breathed softly, kissing him again. “You did what you could, and for the rest of the night, you’re all mine.” Fabian’s eyes danced, and Jonathon flashed on the way he used to look at Greg—it was just the way Fabian looked at him, and he wasn’t sure if he should be happy about it
or not.
“There’s only us,” Jonathon whispered, and he finished his drink before standing up. “I’ll get dressed and meet you back here in twenty minutes.” Jonathon climbed to the bedroom, hearing the door close as Fabian left. Opening the wardrobe, he pulled out the soft black pants and silk shirt he’d worn the night he and Fabian had gone to the opera. Slipping out of his jeans, he pulled on the supple pants and slipped the unbelievably smooth shirt over his skin. As nice as these fabrics were, they could never compare to the warm touch of Fabian’s skin.
Sitting on the side of the bed, Jonathon finished dressing, hurrying down the stairs as he heard the door open and Fabian call his name. Jonathon stepped off the last step as Fabian turned toward him, looking stunning in his black tuxedo.
“I’m sorry,” Jonathon apologized, looking down at his clothes. “I don’t have a tux to wear.”
Fabian moved closer, arms wrapping around his waist. “You look good enough to eat.” Fabian slipped off his tie and draped his coat over the back of one of the chairs. “There, perfect,” he responded, kissing Jonathon again. “Shall we go?”
Fabian led him to Oma’s car, opening the door and waiting until he was seated before lifting the overhead doors and climbing into the car. As they backed out, Jonathon looked over at Fabian, wondering what the man had in store on what had turned into a beautifully warm, clear night.
Fabian drove to an area of town Jonathon wasn’t familiar with, parking the car at the edge of what looked like a park. Opening the door, Jonathon could hear music, and Fabian smiled at him, leading him across the grass to a large open space surrounded by trees lit with fairy lights. At the far end of the clearing, a small orchestra warmed up as people milled around, talking and laughing.
“This is one of the best things about living in Vienna.” The orchestra became silent, and a man stood in front and they began to play. “Everyone loves to waltz.” Couples moved onto the large paved area and began to dance. Before he could say anything, Jonathon felt Fabian take him by the hand, leading him toward the dancers. At first he balked with self-consciousness, but one look in Fabian’s eyes and his doubts fell away. Standing at the edge of the dance floor, Jonathon took Fabian’s hand, put an arm on his waist, and swayed to the music before stepping out, joining the other swirling, flowing dancers.
“This is wonderful,” Jonathon said as they moved to the sound of the music.
“Look.” Fabian tilted his head to the far side of the square. “We’re not alone.” Jonathon looked and saw other couples like them, including an older couple who looked as though they’d been dancing together for decades.
“Thank you for bringing me here,” Jonathon murmured against Fabian’s ear as they broke their hold, moving closer, standing close together, the heat from their bodies passing from one to the other. “I….” Jonathon looked into Fabian’s eyes, trying to say what was in his heart, but his voice failed.
“I know,” Fabian answered, resting his head on Jonathon’s shoulders as they moved together in one corner of the floor. The other dancers moved around them, but neither of them minded. Jonathon felt Fabian’s lips touch his, and everything around them faded. Fabian’s arms held him close as their bodies swayed and rocked, the small touches keeping the fires of desire on a slow simmer.
The small touches and sensual movements of the dance only added to the warm wanting Jonathon saw in Fabian’s eyes and knew was reflected in his. Jonathon stepped back, and Fabian followed, their movements easily synchronizing until it became hard to tell where he left off and Fabian began. “I love you, Jonathon, and I want you to stay here in Vienna with me. I want that more than I’ve wanted anything in my life.” Jonathon heard the hitch in Fabian’s voice and knew the sentiment was absolutely sincere. The water at the edge of his eyes was enough to make Jonathon swallow hard, trying to keep his own emotions in check. Fabian tightened the grip on his waist, tugging him just close enough that he almost trod on Fabian’s toes.
“I love you too,” Jonathon whispered, not sure Fabian could hear him, but a small stumble told him he did. “And I wish more than anything that you could come back with me.” There, he’d said it. No prevarication—he’d actually said what he felt. Not that he held out any hope that he’d get his wish. Fabian’s family was here, and so was a job he loved, his whole life. Holding tight, Jonathon rested his head on Fabian’s shoulder as his lover did the same. The music swelled and flowed around them, the other dancers swirling and moving in their Viennese waltz circles, but Jonathon needed something closer, more intimate. So he held his lover, their bodies swaying to the flowing beat, already starting to say his good-byes.
For what seemed like hours, they held each other as they danced. Voices sometimes intruded, but the interruptions were short, and they quickly returned to one another. In the wee hours of the morning, the music faded for the last time and the lights dimmed. Then and only then did they stop their movements, walking in silence to the car as the lights around the makeshift dance floor faded to black.
Jonathon settled in the passenger seat, watching Fabian as he climbed in the car, memorizing the mundane movements so he could remember everything once he left. They’d both said what they needed, and there was nothing else to be expressed on the subject, at least not now.
“How did you get Oma to let you use her car?” Jonathon asked as he stared out the window, not really seeing anything.
“She really is a loving person,” Fabian replied. “She said if I was going to sin, I may as well do it in style.” Jonathon saw Fabian’s smile in the light of a passing car. “But if you want my opinion, I think Oma likes you, and maybe she’s starting to try to understand.” The flicker of hope in Fabian’s voice made Jonathon’s heart flutter a little. Fabian would be all right after he left. He had his family. Jonathon hoped he could say the same about himself, but he wasn’t so sure.
Leaving the main road, Fabian threaded his way through the smaller streets before turning the last corner. Jonathon couldn’t help looking to see if anyone stood in the circle of light at the corner, but it was empty, and Jonathon said a silent prayer that the boy was okay, cursing his cowardice under his breath but knowing at the same time there was nothing he could have done, at least not alone.
Fabian pulled to a stop and Jonathon got out, lifting the door and watching as Fabian pulled the car into the courtyard before stepping inside. He pulled down and latched the door, meeting Fabian outside his apartment.
Inside, Jonathon climbed to the bedroom with Fabian right behind, both knowing their way well enough that no lights were necessary. Standing next to the bed, Jonathon felt the heat from Fabian’s body before their mouths found each other. Clothes quickly melted onto the floor, hands caressed backs, lips trembled. Falling backwards, Jonathon bounced slightly on the bed until Fabian’s weight stilled him. Warmth spread throughout his body, warmth fueled by Fabian’s heat on the outside and their passion on the inside.
Fabian’s mouth slipped away from his, and a scorching wetness circled a nipple before lips clamped onto his skin, sucking lightly, and Jonathon felt more than vocalized a moan that began in his toes. Threading his fingers through Fabian’s hair, he did his best not to mash his lover’s face against his skin, wanting more sensation but wanting Fabian to take his time too. Bringing their mouths together, Jonathon devoured his lover, exploring deep, committing everything to memory. After releasing the kiss, Jonathon felt Fabian’s mouth on his neck, tongue licking, lips sucking lightly, tingles running down to his feet. “You may be leaving,” Fabian breathed into his ear, “and the mark will fade, but know I will still love you.” Fabian’s tongue soothed over the abused skin before licking its way lower, swiping over each nipple before he kissed his way down Jonathon’s stomach, hands following right behind the lips, Jonathon throbbing on the mattress with every touch.
Hissing softly as Fabian’s lips ghosted along his shaft, hips thrusting forward on their own, Jonathon felt Fabian’s tongue glide around the head befor
e he sucked him deep, sliding along his length. “Fabian!” Jonathon tried to stop the cry but couldn’t. Trembling against the sheets, gripping the bedding in clenched fists, Jonathon managed to keep control of himself, not wanting Fabian’s exquisite torture to end. Then the heat slipped away and Jonathon heaved a deep breath, letting his hand swipe the sweat from his brow.
“Jonathon,” Fabian whispered into the near-complete darkness as Jonathon felt his weight again. “I want you.” Fabian’s hand traveled down his hip and beneath a cheek, fingers teasing along his cleft.
Jonathon swallowed hard, nodding slowly against Fabian’s lips. “Yes,” he answered, hands sliding to Fabian’s jaw, bringing their mouths together in a searing kiss. Fabian’s knees parted his legs, and Jonathon wrapped them around Fabian’s waist.
“When was the last time?” Fabian asked, and Jonathon found he couldn’t answer. He didn’t want to talk or even think about Greg while he was with Fabian. That wasn’t fair. “Oh,” Fabian added into the silence before kissing him again and slinking down his body, lips and tongue retracing their familiar trail.
Taking the gentle tap on his hip as a signal, Jonathon rolled onto his stomach, feeling Fabian’s lips on his shoulder, down his back, a slight nip on one cheek, then the other. Hands kneaded him, fingers teasing their way down his cleft, making Jonathon’s breath catch as Fabian’s tongue blazed trails of liquid fire behind those fingers. Breath that was released with a gasping cry when that tongue reached his opening. It had been so long, and Fabian knew just what he was doing, and…. Jonathon gasped again, crying out softly as Fabian’s tongue stabbed him, filling him with exquisite heat that raced all the way to his throbbing temples. “Fabian… please, God!” He was babbling and he knew it, but he just couldn’t stop—not that he wanted to anyway. Jamming his hips into the air, Jonathon felt Fabian’s face mash against him, going deeper, a stubbled jaw grinding against his tender flesh.
