“Maybe he just likes the way stuffed heads look on the wall. My granny has a couple of deer heads at her country home. I’ve always found them rather distasteful, but to each their own,” Madeleine explained.
“We don’t have time to stand around here and figure out why Munchauser has a stuffed dog head on the wall. We need to get Mac back,” Garrison said powerfully, “before he ends up looking like that.”
After unscrewing the submarine hatch, Garrison led the others out of Munchauser’s dungeon. The hatch was wedged between the start of the gray cobblestone road and the granite mountain, which housed Summerstone. Just as the children remembered from their trip with the sheriff, vines grew from one side of the forest to the other, encapsulating the road in foliage. Without the security of traveling in a vehicle, the forest’s dark and dense overgrowth appeared particularly sinister.
“The sooner we start, the sooner we’ll get out of here,” Lulu said, starting down the road. “And I don’t know about you, but this place creeps me out.”
“As long as we stay on the road, we’ll be fine,” Garrison reminded the group.
“I’m walking in the middle. I don’t want to get too close to the forest,” Theo said before lowering his voice, “because you know who lives in there.”
“Schmidty said Abernathy won’t bother us as long as we stay out of the forest and I’m not going in there,” Garrison said while surpassing Lulu and taking the lead.
“Do you hear that?” Madeleine said frantically while drenching herself in repellent. “Insects! Bugs! They’re talking to each other, preparing to swarm!”
“I don’t hear anything,” Lulu said. “Maybe chattering from the squirrels, but that’s it.”
“A swarm is coming! Do you hear me, people? A plague!” Madeleine screamed.
“A plague?” Theo asked. “Nothing good is ever attached to a plague. There’s never a happiness plague or a safety plague. Always bad stuff. Anyone remember the bubonic plague?”
“Madeleine,” Garrison said firmly, “You need to get ahold of yourself. There is no swarm, no plague, nothing.”
“But that sound!” Madeleine railed on hysterically. “Don’t you hear it? Surely, you must. It’s getting louder by the second!”
“There is no sound!” Garrison said harshly. “It’s in your head. You need to get a grip before you give Theo and yourself a heart attack!”
“They’re coming,” Madeleine said with tears in her eyes. “I can hear them buzzing toward me, preparing to attack at any second.”
“Guys,” Theo said to Garrison and Lulu. “She looks pretty certain. Maybe we should listen to her. Maybe a plague really is coming and she’s more tuned in from all her years of avoiding the outdoors. She’s like a superhero with an extra sense, a bug sense. Do you understand what I am saying?”
“No,” Lulu said definitively, “I absolutely do not understand what you are saying or thinking or …”
“They’re here!” Madeleine hollered, immediately breaking into a frenetic, awkward run that included shaking her arms and legs while coating her body with repellent.
While Theo hadn’t seen who “they” were, his instincts told him to run, so that’s exactly what he did.
“You have got to be kidding me? Fireflies? That’s the plague that’s coming?” Lulu said while stifling her laughter. “You would have thought insects had bred with spiders the way she was screaming.”
“Don’t joke about spidsects!” Madeleine shouted at Lulu. “It’s blasphemous!”
“In fairness to Maddie,” Garrison said, feeling particularly guilty for having been so dismissive earlier, “I’ve never seen fireflies travel in such a tight pack before. I guess it could be kind of freaky if you’re not prepared for it.”
“I think they’re pretty, kind of like a comet,” Theo said while watching a small pack disappear back into the forest.
“Pretty? Ha! Do they have antennae? Multiple legs? Sticky feet? Hairy bodies?” Madeleine asked pointedly.
“Don’t worry,” Theo said calmly, “It’s not like they can sneak up on you. They have lights on their backs.”
“I suppose that’s true,” Madeleine acquiesced while looking cautiously around her, “but I still wouldn’t call them pretty.”
The cobblestone road twisted tightly with hairpin curves, obstructing the group’s ability to see more than twenty feet ahead of them. With that in mind, it was rather fortuitous that Garrison, Madeleine, Lulu, and Theo were enjoying a silent stretch when they turned the corner. Purple was all they had to see to know it was Munchauser. No one else wore purple suits in Massachusetts or, more aptly, all of New England.
After years on the field, Garrison’s strategic instincts were well honed. He immediately crouched down behind one of the multitude of signs warning against entering the forest, signaling the others to follow suit. Munchauser’s gnarled ugly face contorted with annoyance as he tried to pull Macaroni off the dirt shoulder. Clearly, he wasn’t aware of the dog’s distaste for the feel of cobblestone on his paws.
With one hand holding the leash, Munchauser dug deep into the leather satchel and pulled out a sandwich.
“Oh no,” Theo whispered to Lulu. “What’s he going to do to the sandwich?”
“You’re worried about the sandwich? What is wrong with you?” Lulu responded.
“No, I was just wondering. Of course, I’m more worried about Macaroni … it was just a question.”
“Shhh,” Garrison hushed them as Munchauser attempted to lure Macaroni onto the road with the promise of a cheese sandwich.
“Lulu, Theo, you guys stay here. Maddie and I are going to cross the street. When I give you the signal, we’re going to rush him. Try and get ahead of him so we can angle him against the forest.”
“That’s your best play? Rushing him? He’s a giant purple monster and we’re going to rush him?” Lulu asked with attitude.
“Do you have a better idea?” Garrison asked.
“Maybe,” Lulu scoffed while Garrison held her gaze.
“Well?”
“Um, I’m thinking … we could … rush him,” Lulu finally relented.
“That’s what I thought,” Garrison said with a smirk.
“That’s what I thought,” Lulu mimicked as Garrison and Madeleine crouched down to cross the road.
“Mimicking doesn’t suit you, kind of like the color yellow,” Theo whispered, to which Lulu could only roll her eyes.
Close to the forest’s foliage, Madeleine instinctively began spraying. She was far too close to trees where insects, bugs, and spiders resided not to take every precaution available to her. Obviously, not all the creatures were gracious enough to come with a light on their backs; she needed to be ready for the covert operatives.
The sound of Madeleine’s repellent was oddly familiar to Munchauser, prompting him to look up from Macaroni. Garrison threw himself on top of Madeleine, immediately drowning out the sound. As much as she loathed being stopped from dousing herself, this was the closest the two had come to hugging, and Madeleine rather enjoyed it. While she was always grateful for her veil, she was extraordinarily grateful in this moment, for it kept Garrison from seeing her crimson face.
“Five meatball sandwiches if you take one step onto this road. None of that kibble junk. I’m talking real ground beef; all you have to do is take one lousy step onto the road,” Munchauser said through gritted teeth as he yanked at the dog’s leash. “Do you know how many dogs would kill for ground beef? Do you? I bet you one million dollars you don’t know how many dogs would kill for it. And don’t worry, if you’re wrong, I’ll just take it out of your trust fund,” Munchauser cackled to himself.
Garrison watched Munchauser closely, nervous that his feeble plan might not work. Lulu was right; it was hardly a very smart or cunning approach. On the other hand, it was the only plan they had. Garrison threw down his arm, signaling the others that it was time. Lulu and Theo took off first, attempting to get ahead of Munchauser on the road.
Unfortunately, Theo’s loud footsteps on the cobblestone immediately signaled their presence.
“Give us back our sandwich!” Theo screamed.
“Theo!” Lulu yelled.
“I mean dog! Give us back our dog!”
Garrison and Madeleine ran directly toward Munchauser, who was now attempting to lift the portly Macaroni. Theo and Lulu continued charging ahead as well. The plan appeared to have a chance at working when something tan, black, and furry descended en masse. It seemed that the flurry of running and yelling had disturbed a clan of squirrels. Almost straightaway, the squirrels went into battle mode, dive bombs and all. They courageously flung their bodies out of the trees, chattering loudly as they descended through the air.
Lulu was first to be hit, with one landing directly on her face. Madeleine screamed with terror as two squirrels clung viciously to her veil with their teeth. As the squirrels pulled, Madeleine fought hard. She had absolutely no intention of letting her veil go without a brawl. It was only the arrival of a third and borderline obese squirrel that proved more than she could handle. The squirrels won, jumping to the ground with her precious veil in their mouths. Within seconds, the veil disappeared into the forest while Madeleine stood dumbstruck.
Garrison managed to pull two squirrels from Theo’s back while removing a particularly determined one from his own head. It was only after the squirrel mania had died down that they realized Munchauser was gone.
CHAPTER 26
EVERYONE’S AFRAID OF SOMETHING:
Heliophobia is the fear of the sun.
In his haste to escape, Munchauser dropped the sandwich. There on the gray cobblestone lay a delicious cheese sandwich on thick sourdough bread. Theo, a true sandwich devotee, couldn’t help but try to pick up the scrumptious item while running after Garrison. It was only Madeleine’s reminder that stopped the boy from satiating his ever-growing hunger.
“Dirty fingernails, Theo! Years’ worth of dirt!” Madeleine hollered with her hands above her head, attempting to shield herself from the great outdoors.
Garrison and Lulu were first to turn the corner, spitting them out onto a long and equally foliage-enshrouded straightaway.
“Impossible! There’s no way he could cover so much ground with a fifty-pound dog in his arms!” Garrison screamed while scanning the road ahead. There was nothing but green.
“Maybe he went into the forest?” Lulu added.
“I don’t think so; if he was willing to brave that, he would have done it already.”
Much like animals in the desert, Lulu and Garrison were moving slowly in an attempt to stalk their prey. Madeleine and Theo were oblivious companions, both terribly preoccupied with their own issues.
“Thank you so much, Madeleine,” Theo whimpered. “I don’t know what came over me. I’m not used to skipping breakfast, I guess. To think I could have ingested a sandwich that Munchauser had his dirty fingernails all over.”
“Skipping a meal can be quite a shock to your system, kind of like losing your shadow,” Madeleine said in reference to her veil.
Completely unaware of the emotional turmoil Madeleine was undergoing, Theo blabbered on. “Mad, will you be my sponsor on the trip? Stop me if I try to eat something dangerous or dirty or a meat product. I would hate to lose my many years of vegetarianism over —”
“Theo, look at my head! I’ve lost my veil. There’s nothing between me and them,” Madeleine said excitedly. “They could lay eggs in my hair! Or just drop them while flying by!”
“Give me your cans. I’m going to drench your head in so much repellent that your hair may actually fall out. You saved me, now I’m gonna save you.”
“That’s just great,” Garrison said sarcastically, “but who’s going to save Mac and Schmidty? How is it possible that a tall man in a purple suit carrying a fat bulldog can vanish without a trace?”
“Do you think it’s unusual to develop arthritis in a day?” Theo asked as the glum foursome continued down the straightaway with no sign of Munchauser or Macaroni. “’Cause my joints are really starting to hurt. I wish other people used this road; they could take me straight to the doctor. Not that I believe in hitchhiking, because normally I would never even consider getting into a stranger’s car. But in this situation, I think I would revise my rules,” Theo babbled on, seemingly unaware that no one was responding to him.
“Would you please stop talking?” Lulu interjected.
“Someone’s being more than a little rude,” Theo loudly whispered to Madeleine.
“I am not speaking to you, Theodore Bartholomew,” Madeleine screeched with dripping wet hair.
“Mad, I said it was an accident! I had no idea your cans would run out. At least you can rest assured that no bugs or spiders will come within ten feet of your head.”
“But what about the rest of me? My arms, legs, and face! They’re completely open for attack! Look at me: no veil, no repellent on the front line of the war on spiders. Everywhere I turn it’s nature, nature, and more nature, and everyone knows that spiders and insects live in nature!”
“I’m pretty sure you have repellent built up in your bloodstream. It will be years before a mosquito even comes near you,” Lulu said.
Madeleine said nothing but quietly considered the merit of Lulu’s statement.
“How long have we been walking? It feels like days since I’ve had any food or water.”
“It’s been two hours, Theo. Calm down,” Lulu said.
“Two hours? That’s it? That’s only 120 minutes, 7,200 seconds.”
“Thank you for the mathematical breakdown, Chubs. Definitely going to come in handy as we walk down a cobblestone road in the middle of nowhere!”
“No reason to bite my head off; I was merely commenting on how long we’ve been out here, braving the elements.”
“You know what, Theo? It may have only been two hours, but if it makes you feel any better, your incessant whining has made it seem much longer. More like an entire day, which in case you didn’t know is twenty-four hours, 1,440 minutes or …” Lulu paused trying to do the math in her head. “… a whole lot of seconds!”
“I see I’m not the only one who’s feeling a little grumpy from lack of food.”
“It’s 86,400 seconds to be exact,” Madeleine quietly mumbled to Garrison.
“You think this is grumpy? By the time we get to town you’ll be smiling about the good old days before I gave you a black eye for talking too much!”
“Are you threatening me?” Theo asked with disdain.
“Maybe.”
“I think I should tell you that anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”
“The Miranda rights,” Madeleine said to Garrison, as if offering play-by-play commentary. It occurred so quickly and suddenly that it actually stopped Garrison’s breath for a second. He was absolutely enchanted by Madeleine’s bare face. In plain old thirteen-year-old boy speak, he thought she was cute.
“I’m not under arrest!” Lulu shot back at Theo.
“That phrase can be used at other times. Anyway, I just thought you should know that I am making a mental note of all your threats so that I can tell my mom and my lawyer once we get back.”
“Would you stop? At the moment, you don’t even have a cell phone, let alone a lawyer!”
“I may not have a lawyer right now, but this is a country where anyone can file a lawsuit, even a twelve-year-old. So get ready, Lulu Punchalower —”
“Wait!” Lulu interrupted Theo seriously. “Did someone just whimper?”
“You heard that, too?” Garrison responded, immediately on high alert.
Theo, Madeleine, Lulu, and Garrison froze, waiting to hear which direction the whimpering was coming from. It took a few seconds before they heard the muffled sound again. Lulu walked toward the forest’s edge, eyes wide with a mixture of curiosity and anticipation. The recognition was sudden and jarring, but to her credit, she didn’t scream.
“It’s him.”
“Who?” Garrison asked. “Munchauser?”
“Abernathy. I recognize him from the time I saw him peering in the dining room window,” Lulu said while staring at Abernathy’s thick and ashen face between the trees.
“And you waited until now to tell us,” Theo admonished Lulu.
“I thought I’d imagined it … ,” Lulu mumbled. “That face …”
Madeleine stepped behind Lulu, absolutely captivated by Abernathy’s face.
Abernathy returned the children’s stunned glare, never moving from just inside the forest’s edge. The strange man knew that he was protected. No one, let alone children, would try to brave the dangers of the forest.
“Maybe we should say something? Offer him a snack or a drink of water,” Theo said sincerely.
“Um, hello? In case you haven’t noticed, we’re not at the Four Seasons,” Lulu snapped to Theo.
“Yeah, but by offering him something at least we’re being polite. Maybe he’ll warm up to us?”
Before anyone else could weigh in on the matter, Theo, making sure to speak loudly, launched the welcome wagon: “Hello! Hi, I’m Theo and this is Madeleine, Garrison, and Lulu. We’re from the school on the hill; although, I think you may already know that since you’ve been spying on us, Mr. Abernathy. And by spying, I mean politely looking in the windows. Nothing wrong with that. We’d love to offer you some beverages or appetizers but we don’t have any,” Theo babbled on as Abernathy slowly moved his finger across his throat. Fortunately Theo was far too preoccupied by a strange noise to notice the intimidating gesture.
Now inches from the forest, Theo heard the whimper again and realized that it was far too close to be coming from Abernathy.
“Wait a minute,” Theo said as he turned to his left, “you evil genius!”
Munchauser and Macaroni, covered head to toe in Greenland Fungus, were perfectly camouflaged against the forest’s lush backdrop. Before anyone could mobilize, Munchauser tossed a mass of small yellow particles at the students. The smell was paralyzing, knocking all four students off their feet and to the ground. So rank and putrid was the stench that the foursome actually passed out. The last thing they remembered was the green silhouette of Munchauser and Mac taking off in the distance.
School of Fear Page 16
