by Heidi Swain
He stood up and stretched, his T-shirt parting company with the waistband of his jeans.
‘What?’ he said, when he caught me staring.
‘Nothing,’ I mumbled, feeling a sudden heat coursing through my veins which had nothing to do with the spring sunshine.
I was finding it increasingly difficult to tear my gaze away when he ran his fingers through his curls and licked his lips. I’d noticed recently that his hands often strayed to his hair when he was caught off guard, but he didn’t appear to be aware of the habit at all. It was endearing.
‘What?’ he said again, pinning me with his most seductive stare.
‘You really love it here, don’t you?’ I asked, holding back what I was thinking.
‘I really do,’ he sighed, staring back at the house. ‘It’s hard to explain, but living here feels so right and it’s a comfort to know that I’ve finally managed to do something that would make Dad proud. I’d let him down in so many other ways.’
‘How?’
He turned his attention from the house back to me again.
‘Sorry,’ I blurted out, ‘it’s none of my business.’
‘No,’ he said, ‘it’s OK, but I’m not going to shock you with the worst of the details. Let’s just say that my father was a pretty cut and dried conventional kind of a guy. He and Mum had met early. They were almost childhood sweethearts. Theirs was the fairy-tale love story. The kind you usually find in the cinema or in a book.’
That kind of love story sounded fine to me. To be honest, it was a relief to know it existed beyond the big screen and a book.
‘He never understood my serial dating days.’
‘Oh,’ I said lightly, ‘I see.’
‘Playing the field was frowned upon.’ Luke laughed. ‘He was forever lecturing me to stop messing around and wait for “the one”.’
‘But you enjoyed playing the field so much you thought all that could wait, yes?’
Having recently been a victim of the laissez-faire attitude towards relationships myself, I could understand how his father, the archetypal one-woman man, felt. But how Luke chose to conduct his sex life was nothing to do with me.
‘Sort of,’ he said, ‘plus the fact I never believed in this whole fantasy about finding “the one”. I didn’t think it was possible that there was just one person in the world who could capture your heart so completely that you would never want to be with anyone else ever again.’
I dreaded to think how he would tease me if he ever learned of my take on one true love.
‘You should talk to Lisa about that,’ I told him, waving at her as she appeared through the gate with Archie in tow. ‘She thinks it’s all a load of rubbish as well.’
‘But that’s the thing,’ said Luke, his dark eyes returning to rest on my face. ‘I’m not sure that’s what I do think now at all.’
‘Hi, Charlie, it’s Kate.’
‘Kate! Oh my god! How are you? You’re the last person I expected it to be.’
As I had reluctantly punched his number into my phone I’d had a feeling he was going to say something like that.
‘But you don’t mind that I’ve called?’
‘Of course I don’t mind that you’ve called,’ he boomed. ‘Hold on.’
I could hear a clicking sound in the background and knew he was lighting one of the fat, fragrant cigars everyone associated him with.
‘So, how are you?’ he asked after the first big puff.
I could almost smell the Cuban from my kitchen.
‘And more importantly, where are you? Are you coming back? I miss you. Our dinner parties have been so dull since you left.’
I knew he was massaging my ego. I’d heard him do it to other people a thousand times before, but I didn’t mind. It was nice to be on the receiving end of his New York drawl again. Charlie was one of the more flamboyant members of the group David and I had worked with. I was certain the pair would still be in touch, but as Charlie was also the go-to guy for paintings, pictures and portraits, I considered it worth the risk.
‘No,’ I said, ignoring that Charlie had asked where I was, ‘of course I’m not coming back. I think I’ve provided enough after-dinner gossip for you guys, don’t you? It’s time you moved on to someone else.’
Charlie was quiet for a second.
‘You know,’ he said, ‘it was never like that.’
‘I know,’ I sighed. ‘I was only teasing.’
‘We all told him he was a fool,’ he said seriously. ‘We all said he was an idiot. In fact, we’re still telling him.’
‘Well,’ I said, swallowing away the lump in my throat.
This was not how I had planned the conversation would go. It was supposed to be all business. David, and what his friends did or didn’t say to him, wasn’t supposed to figure in any of it. I soon realised how naive I had been to believe that was going to happen.
‘Well, it’s all water under the bridge now, so—’
‘But it isn’t, is it?’ Charlie interrupted. ‘David’s still as dull as dirty dishwater. He’s no fun at all these days.’
‘Isn’t he?’
I had assumed that after I had spurned his advances at Christmas he would go off on his merry way, lick his wounds for a day or two and then set about finding someone else to make him feel better.
‘No,’ said Charlie. ‘He’s not. I have no idea what happened at Christmas, Kate, beyond the fact that his attempt to woo you back didn’t go according to plan, but he’s practically been a recluse ever since. He doesn’t come out, he works all hours and I know for a fact that he hasn’t so much as looked at another woman.’
That didn’t sound right at all. I thought he would have been stretching his wings and enjoying his freedom to return to the wandering ways I assumed he had missed during the years we were married.
‘Are you sure we’re talking about the same David?’ I couldn’t resist asking.
‘I’m sorry to say we are.’
‘Well, I’m sure he’ll snap out of it soon,’ I said stoically. ‘He just needs a bit more time.’
‘He says that if he can’t have you, Kate, his one true love, then he doesn’t want anyone.’
That was not what I wanted to hear. I couldn’t believe he had said those actual words. Surely if I really was his ‘one true love’ he would have taken better care of me, wouldn’t he? Was all this, I wondered uncharitably, what David had primed Charlie to say, should I happen to get in touch?
‘Well, it’s a shame he didn’t realise that before he did what he did then, isn’t it?’ I retaliated.
These days I felt less inclined to listen to the voice in my head reminding me that I was the one who pushed him to do ‘what he did’. As Lisa had pointed out on more than one occasion, David was a grown man, responsible for his own conscience and his own trouser zip. I had to stay strong. What he was, or wasn’t, up to these days was of no interest to me. I was managing to move on, even if he wasn’t.
‘Of course it is,’ Charlie agreed as he took another massive puff, ‘but isn’t everyone entitled to make one little mistake?’
Had the repercussions not been so dreadful, this could have been the point in the conversation when I broke down and agreed that yes, everyone was entitled to make one little mistake and that I would take David back and try to forgive him even if I couldn’t forget. However, the repercussions had been dreadful and I was still feeling far from forgiving.
‘Look,’ I said, ‘I haven’t called to talk about David.’
‘Sorry,’ said Charlie. ‘I know it’s none of my business, but you can’t blame a chap for trying. He’d never forgive me if he knew you’d called and I hadn’t tried on his behalf.’
Was that a hint of what I already suspected?
‘Charlie,’ I said forcefully, bringing the call back to heel. ‘I don’t want you to breathe a word about this call to David.’
‘All right, all right.’
‘I have a job for you.’
‘What kind of job?’
‘I want you to track down a portrait for me.’
‘Oh really?’ he said, taking yet another long drag.
This was the line I should have started with. Getting Charlie to talk about work was as easy as distracting a cat with a cardboard box.
‘Do tell.’
‘I will tell,’ I said sternly, ‘but only if you absolutely promise that you will not mention either this phone call or the painting I’m looking for to David.’
‘I promise,’ he said hungrily. ‘Scout’s honour, whatever you say.’
‘I mean it Charlie, if this gets back to David I’ll know you’ve broken your promise and I think I’ve been let down enough recently, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ he said, sounding chastened. ‘I think you have. I promise.’
‘Good. I’m pleased we agree about that.’
‘Now tell me,’ he said, the old familiar excitement back in his tone. ‘Tell me, what exactly is it that you want me to find?’
‘Who’s Charlie?’
I had no idea Lisa had slipped into the house and I dropped the phone in shock at the sound of her voice.
‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘Did I make you jump? The door was open.’
‘It’s fine,’ I said, retrieving the phone and returning it to its base. ‘Are you ready to go now? I thought we said half past?’
‘Change of plan. Heather’s back already. Who did you say Charlie was?’
‘I didn’t,’ I told her. ‘And anyway, what’s it got to do with you?’
I knew I sounded annoyed, but that was fine because I was. Lisa always liked to have her nose in everyone’s business, but recently she’d been pushing things a bit too far.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, for once sounding like she actually meant it. ‘I know you think I’m a nosy old bag, but I’m only interested because I have no life.’
‘What?’ I frowned, grabbing my coat.
‘It’s true,’ she sniffed. ‘Beyond the confines of this square and the garden I have nothing.’
‘Neither do I,’ I reminded her, ‘and neither does Heather at the moment.’
‘But you both used to,’ she said, her shoulders sagging, ‘you both used to have jobs, and Heather’s getting ready to go back to hers. All I’ve done is raise babies. Sorry,’ she quickly added, knowing that was the one thing I had wanted, but hadn’t been allowed to have.
‘It’s all right,’ I told her, my annoyance evaporating. ‘I’m finally beginning to accept that we don’t all get what we want in life, irrespective of whether we sign up to the fairy-tale formula or not.’
‘Do you really mean that?’ She sounded aghast.
‘Yeah,’ I said, wrestling on my coat. ‘I really do.’
For a second I thought she was going to cry but a knock on the door broke the spell and she blinked a few times before answering it. I dismissed her unusually emotional state, blaming it on her monthly hormone imbalance.
‘We’re coming,’ she said when she found Heather on the doorstep, ‘and I’m going to try and make it at least halfway round today. I promise.’
The whole get fit plan from the New Year hadn’t been going all that well. When we should have been pounding the pavements, we’d been checking out the cafés and coffee houses in the city instead, but now the weather had improved we were starting over and even Lisa had vowed to take it more seriously.
‘Why is Evie in her pushchair?’ she asked Heather. ‘I thought we were driving to the lake. You said as soon as you got back from your meeting with HR we’d be going.’
‘Change of plan,’ said Heather, biting her lip. ‘Sorry girls, but I don’t feel much like going for a run now.’
I grabbed my house keys and we walked over to sit on the bench on the green. Evie was content to watch the birds and shake her cloth book while we waited for her mum to tell us what had happened, because something clearly had.
‘Has something happened at work?’ Lisa asked when she couldn’t bear the suspense a second longer. ‘Was there a problem about your return date?’
Heather had been telling us how she was planning to go back to work part-time. She didn’t particularly want to, but knew that if she didn’t do it soon she never would. I got the feeling that her desire to be a stay-at-home mum after the pressure and intensity of her career, which had been her sole focus for so long, had come as something of a shock. It hadn’t been until Lisa had offered to look after Evie, so she wouldn’t have to send her to a nursery further afield, that she began to come around to the idea of going back at all.
‘I don’t have a return date now,’ she said eventually. ‘I’ve decided I’m not going back.’
Lisa and I exchanged glances.
‘Well, that’s good isn’t it?’ I said cheerfully, trying to rally her. ‘That’s kind of what you wanted, isn’t it?’
‘I guess,’ she shrugged. ‘But I’m sorry I won’t be able to offer you the work now, Lisa. I know you were looking forward to taking care of Evie.’
‘It’s fine,’ said Lisa. ‘I can still see old gorgeous whenever I want and perhaps this is just the push I need.’
‘What do you mean?’ Heather asked.
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ Lisa shrugged. ‘I was just saying to Kate that I have no life beyond this place. Perhaps now’s the time to get my act together and find a job of my own.’
‘But what about Archie?’ Heather asked. ‘You wouldn’t want to send him to day care, would you?’
‘No,’ said Lisa, chewing her lip. ‘I suppose not. I probably wouldn’t even earn enough to cover the cost.’
‘Perhaps you could look after him, Heather?’ I suggested. ‘He could be a playmate for Evie.’
Heather shook her head and slowly breathed out.
‘She’ll have one of her own soon enough.’
I shared another look with Lisa.
‘What are you talking about?’
‘That’s why I’m not going back to work,’ she said in a rush. ‘I’m pregnant again.’
‘Oh my god,’ gasped Lisa.
‘I know!’
‘Did you plan to be?’ I asked.
‘No.’
‘Do you want to be?’ Lisa said next.
‘Yes . . . no . . . maybe.’ Heather laughed. ‘I don’t know. It hasn’t really sunk in yet. It wasn’t meant to happen like this.’
‘Crikey, Heather,’ I said. ‘You’re really going to have your hands full.’
‘I know,’ she said, ‘but at least I have friends nearby to help out.’
‘That’s true,’ I smiled.
‘You don’t mind, do you?’ she said, reaching for my hand. ‘About the baby, I mean.’
‘No, of course not,’ I told her. ‘I’m thrilled for you. Please don’t think that I’m not happy for you, my darling, because I am. I really am.’
‘Thanks,’ she said shyly. ‘That means a lot.’
‘How’s Glen taken the news?’ Lisa asked.
‘I don’t know,’ Heather giggled. ‘He’s like me, still in shock. It’s very early days so we’re not telling anyone yet.’
‘Apart from us two,’ I laughed. ‘And possibly Carole.’
We all waved over to where we could see our nosiest neighbour loitering behind her curtain pole and I stole a glance back at my pregnant friend. Like me, her life plan had been scattered to the four winds, in fact it was all a right old muddle and yet here she was, still smiling brightly and embracing the changes. I admired her adaptability.
‘I guess this is yet another scenario which disproves the fairy-tale theory, isn’t it?’ Heather smiled at Lisa.
It was as if she could read my thoughts.
‘No, it doesn’t,’ I was quick to respond as I rejigged the new twist in her story to make it fit what I had hoped would have been my own. ‘Fall in love, get married, have baby, then second baby, happy family, happy ever after. It’s textbook. If anything, it goes to prove that happy endings do exist.’
�
�That’s not what you said back at the house,’ Lisa pounced.
‘Back at the house,’ I corrected her, ‘I said that we don’t all get the fairy tale, I never said that no one does.’ My mind tracked back to what Luke had said about his parents.
‘So, you think that my life conforms to the fairy tale, do you?’ Heather frowned. ‘Even now?’
‘Pretty much,’ I shrugged. ‘I mean, your life fits the mould a darn sight more tidily than mine. I’ve completely given up trying to squeeze mine into shape, you know that.’
‘I’ll remind you of that in a few months,’ she said with a smile on her lips, ‘when I’m sleep deprived and up to my armpits in even more nappies; then we’ll decide who’s living the charmed life.’
‘I’ll hold you to that,’ I said, leaning across to shake her hand.
Chapter 21
I hadn’t grasped just how early in the year Easter was going to fall until I turned the month over on my kitchen calendar. Spring had very definitely sprung and I still hadn’t put into practice any of the home improvements I had been planning when I first moved to Nightingale Square.
I could of course squarely and conveniently lay the blame at Luke’s door for that because had he not seduced me, and everyone else, with our perfect community garden, and the brace of fluffy kittens, then I felt certain that my little home would have been totally transformed long before the supermarkets were filled with chocolate eggs.
As wonderful as it was to spend so much time outside watching green things growing and the rescue hens sprouting feathers in places they had never before realised were supposed to be covered, I knew I needed to make a start; otherwise the year would be over and I wouldn’t have achieved anything I had set out to do.
With my mind half on the impending Easter egg hunt and subsequent party I had been roped into helping with, and knowing that my friends were going to be otherwise occupied for the next few days, I decided that right then was as good a time as any to get going on my own plans.
Lisa had thrown herself with gusto into finding a new job, Heather was suffering what she described as ‘morning nausea’ rather than actual sickness, Luke had taken himself off on an impromptu holiday ‘to think some stuff through’, or so he had told John and Glen, and Charlie, despite exhaustive efforts, had so far drawn a blank in his search for the lost portrait.
