If she neither resists nor responds, but endures your kiss with slight pleasure, know then that she is slow to arouse and of slim passions. Such women are to be dealt with slowly, to be kissed and stroked for hours, and to be futtered with long slow strokes, in and out of their clinging cunnuses, until the lips of their vaginas tremble with contentment.
Then you shall probe her mouth with your tongue. Should she resist this, know that she is not a woman who lives for kisses, and will relish them no more between her legs than between her lips, but proceed directly to coition.
If she meets your tongue with hers, and pleasures in the depth of the kiss—rejoice! For such women are passionate, and will futter endlessly from dusk to daybreak.
And if her lips close around your tongue, and if she sucks hard upon it and will not let it go, suckling upon your tongue as a babe upon the breast, doubly rejoice! For such women are rare and doubly to be cherished, for they are born for fellatio, and will lick eagerly at a man’s scepter, yearning to embrace it, and they will suck your penis all night long and swallow your semen until you beg for mercy…
Just how much can be learned from a woman’s behavior in kissing is probably questionable; both sexual enthusiasm and sexual inhibitions are rather complex matters to be revealed entirely in the course of osculation. But the anonymous Arab who authored The Sultan’s Wives does offer advice with more than a little merit to it. On both a purely physical level and a more subtler psychological plane as well, a man or a woman’s response to the act of the kiss provides a certain amount of revelation of the sexual makeup of the individual—the acts that may be preferred, the passion that may be expected, and, finally, the skill that will be brought into play.
Manual caresses
The kiss, as we have seen, may be more or less sexual, depending upon the manner in which it is performed and the circumstances surrounding its performance. The second stage of foreplay—manual caresses applied to the body of the partner—are more specifically sexual in nature, although they are not necessarily more intimate or more stimulating per se. But one would not be inclined to confuse handling of the breasts or thighs or buttocks with simple manifestations of friendship or fellowship. The sexual overtones are unmistakable.
Manual caresses, and most especially caresses applied by the male to the body of the female, play the predominant role in foreplay, whether as a prelude to coitus or extracoital intercourse or whether undertaken as an end in itself, as in college-student petting sessions. The portions of the body upon which these caresses are bestowed, as well as the precise form they take, vary considerably with cultural and personal considerations. Ideally, these caresses are exciting in a number of ways. The woman is excited through direct stimulation of an erogenous portion of her body; the male is excited through digital contact with an intimate and physically appealing portion of the female body; finally, each in turn is excited through perception of the other’s sexual response to the act.
The portions of the body to which attention is directed in foreplay are by no means fixed. Partialism—the special preference for a given portion of the body—plays a role both culturally and individually. Just as one man may characterize himself as a “tit man” or “leg man” or “ass man,” so may a culture be similarly breast or leg or buttock oriented.
Our own society is especially breast conscious, to a degree that has provoked a certain amount of concern from some quarters that the American male’s absorption with mammary development verges on the perverse. In any event, the handling and kissing of the female breasts is basic to foreplay in our culture; it is taken for granted that caresses of this sort will be extremely exciting to both males and females. Dimensions of the breasts are also deemed important, and it is assumed that the larger a girl’s breasts are, the more pleasure will be provided in foreplay for herself and for her partner.
In extreme cases, stimulation of the breasts serves as an end in itself. Many girls and women have reported that manual and, more frequently, oral stimulation of their breasts is enough in itself to bring on orgasm, at least occasionally. And Theodore Isaac Rubin, in his book Sweet Daddy, cites a man who flies four hundred miles and back once a week to visit a prostitute whose breasts are particularly appealing to him, never having coitus with her but merely stimulating her breasts orally until he reaches orgasm. The same work also provides the following interesting account of manual caresses engaged in both as a group activity and as their own end.
“I remember one blowout. I must’ve been maybe seventeen, eighteen. No pounding, that one, but wild, Doc, real wild.
“I remember—guys stewed—one chick did a strip. One dame getting her tits sucked in a corner, not one guy but one on each knob. Jesus, everything was swinging all at once…
“The chick did the strip wound up in the bathtub. Bunch of us scrubbed her down. She loved it. Real screw ball. Finger job. No banging. Funny wild, crazy, but no screwing. What the hell, banging was already everyday stuff. This was like something different…
“Remember she had real big boobies. Can remember how they floated in the water… Must have been twenty of us chicks and guys in the toilet. Everyone yelling—soap her ass, her crotch, her buttons and boy we soaped.”
Although the female breasts are generally regarded as an erogenous area, not all cultures pay nearly so much attention to them in foreplay. In the Arab world, digital manipulation is more often focused upon the male and female genitalia, although a certain amount of breast manipulation is standard. In much of Africa, foreplay is generally minimized, and both parties are assumed to be ready for coitus from the onset. The emphasis is placed not upon preparation of the woman for coital enjoyment but upon providing satisfaction by being able to prolong coitus for extended periods of time and to perform the act repeatedly in the course of a night.
Generally speaking, erotic foreplay is less in evidence in cultures that are either primitive or repressive and plays its most prominent role in those cultures which are both permissive and highly sophisticated sexually.
Casanova, one of those rare creatures fortunate enough to have his name become synonymous with sexual prowess, furnishes excellent commentary on the topic of foreplay in his memoirs. Casanova’s legendary prowess notwithstanding, he readily admits to unsuccessful seductions by the score and recounts more than a few incidences when he engaged in foreplay with a young lady but was not able to induce her to have coitus with him.
Casanova was not above employing a good deal of subterfuge in initiating foreplay. One revealing example is contained in the third volume of his memoirs, in which he recounts an affair with a nun who has just given birth to a child in secret. Casanova visits her, is struck by her beauty, and embarks on an elaborate seduction.
When I was alone with the nun, whose face filled me with such burning recollections, I began to speak of her health, and especially of the inconveniences attached to child-birth. She said she felt quite well, and would be able to return to Chamberi on foot. “The only thing that troubles me is my breasts, but the woman assures me that the milk will recede tomorrow, and that they will then assume their usual shape.”
“Allow me to examine them, I know something about it.”
“Look!”
She uncovered her bosom, not thinking it would give me any pleasure, but wishing to be polite, without supposing I had any concealed desires. I passed my hands over two spheres whose perfect shape and whiteness would have restored Lazarus to life. I took care not to offend her modesty, but in the coolest manner possible I asked her how she felt a little lower down, and as I put the question I softly extended my hand…
“The beauty of your bosom,” I added, “makes me take a still greater interest in you.”
Later Casanova continues the game.
I spent an hour with her after supper, and I convinced her by my reserve that she had made a mistake in thinking I loved her only as a daughter. Of her own accord she showed me that her breast had regained its usua
l condition. I assured myself of the fact by my sense of touch, to which she made no opposition, not thinking that I could be moved by such a trifle. All the kisses which I lavished on her lips and eyes she put down to friendship for her.
Another day, the game continues.
I found my fair nun in bed, and asked her—
“How do you feel today, madam?”
“Say daughter, that name is so sweet to me…”
“Well, my daughter, do not fear anything, but open your arms to me.”
“I will; we will embrace one another.”
“My little ones are prettier than they were yesterday: let me suck them.”
“You silly papa, you are drinking your daughter’s milk.”
Finally, Casanova leads the nun into an extended bit of love play, which she is unwilling for him to consummate with coitus. She permits him to suck her breasts at great length, does the same for him (although he counsels her that she “will find nothing there.”), but is unwilling to “perform to love the sweetest of all sacrifices.” A day later, they once again play at love; this time, having drunk considerable claret, the nun cleverly falls conveniently asleep; Casanova undresses her and moves from foreplay to coitus, in which she joins enthusiastically. Thereafter she is his mistress.
—♦♦♦—
It should provide little surprise that the irrepressible Vatsyayana catalogs the techniques of the caress as thoroughly as he arranges every other aspect of sexual behavior. The Kama Sutra discusses the pressing embrace, the rubbing embrace, the striking embrace, the creeping embrace, and so on ad infinitum. There is little of interest in this cataloging, since it consists in little more than inventing names for every possible form of caress. Indeed, if the book presents an accurate picture of Hindu sexuality of Vatsyayana’s day, it is likely that the whole thing was stultifyingly stylized and benumbed by ritual.
As it happens, it would seem that other societies have relatively little to offer in respect to the techniques of foreplay, for petting has probably been brought to a keener pitch in our own society than it ever attained elsewhere. The great emphasis placed upon it by modern sexologists as reflected in modern marriage manuals is certainly at least partially responsible for this. But this is not the whole story. It is among the young that petting has become the most popular indoor sport, and in recent years the game has been refined and improved to the point where girls remain technically virginal while acquiring sexual knowledge and experience in areas formerly the exclusive province of the professional prostitute.
In The Sexual Behavior of the American College Girl, Dr. Benjamin Morse has reported upon this phenomenon at length and describes a certain breed of college girl as a “promiscuous virgin.” Such a girl restricts herself to extracoital activities, all of them lumped into the category of petting or making out. She may develop an extraordinary familiarity with sexual technique, may behave in a fundamentally promiscuous manner in that she is in no way involved emotionally with her partners and is quite indiscriminate in choosing them; yet she retains technical virginity so long as coitus is proscribed.
This is the sort of behavior that Gael Green characterizes as the “Everything But” school of thought. In Sex and the College Girl, she furnishes the following observation.
Everything but—, anything but—, no holds barred but—, and variations suffixed with that great big BUT are current euphemisms for sexual intimacies that range from simple pats and caresses of clothed or unclothed bodies to every erotic act known to man, with one exception: the penis may not enter the vagina. Not completely, that is. It is necessary to add “completely” because some coeds permit partial entry—and still call it “virginity.” As long as the hymen remains intact, the dictionary supports their claim.
Rubbing and bumping without clothing (“Have you ever dry-humped in Atlantic City?” a Hunter junior asked), exchange of genital caresses, mutual oral-genital stimulation—these are a few of the heavy petting practices “fairly common among our virginal groups,” according to Ira L. Reiss, University of Iowa sociologist… Heavy petting or orgasm or just short of it seems to be accepted without geographical limitations…
Interestingly enough, this concept of petting as an end in itself, most thoroughly accepted on the college campus, has spilled over into the realm of extramarital sex as well. The same mental attitude that permits a college girl to believe that sexual activity will not sully her as long as she retains her virginity will also lead a married man or woman to assume that extramarital flirtations that do not culminate in coitus are not actual acts of “cheating” on their mates—that they may play at adultery without being in fact adulterers. A woman may neck passionately with another woman’s husband at a suburban garden party without feeling she has done something reprehensible. An executive may touch and stroke his pretty secretary without feeling he is doing anything nearly so bad as if he hied the girl off to a handy motel. With our more liberal attitudes toward oral and digital caresses, and with a generally heightened knowledge of the subtleties of foreplay, these acts can be wholly satisfying without seeming an occasion for adulterous guilt.
The tendency has been occasionally remarked upon in contemporary novels but rarely examined at length. It is faintly reminiscent of the mental state of Casanova’s girl —who is able to permit coitus when she pretends to be asleep. An incident in Henry Miller’s Tropic of Cancer details a similar incident combining the two aspects—a young woman maneuvers herself against the narrator in a subway car and arranges things so that the genitals of the two are brought into contact, to the great sexual stimulation of both. She does not speak and makes no sign that she is aware of the narrator’s presence, and leaves the car abruptly without permitting things to go farther. The furtive sex act thus achieved seems both harmless and innocent—harmless in that it is noncoital, innocent in that she pretends to be unaware of what is going on.
It might be worth mentioning that one of the foreplay practices of college-age youth, the “dry hump,” is a staple of a certain form of commercial prostitution with roots in antiquity, and it remains very much in evidence today. In essence, this practice takes the form of a burlesque of coitus. In some instances the partners remain fully or partially clothed while going through the motions of sexual intercourse. In other cases they are nude, but the penis is merely rubbed against the female genitalia without intromission being effected.
This practice is standard fare in the taxi-dance halls found in New York’s Times Square and comparable areas of other large cities. For a few dollars, the customer is permitted to dance with a woman for fifteen minutes or a half hour. A proportion of the customers are simply lonely men anxious for a few pleasant moments of female companionship. A large number are more interested in obtaining sexual satisfaction. They dance with their loins pressed tightly against the pelvises of their partners. A girl cooperates by rubbing her loins against her customer until orgasm is achieved. For an additional cash consideration, some of these girls will dance off into a dark corner with a customer and permit him to remove his penis from his trousers for more intimate dancing or will masturbate him with their hands.
While some of these girls accept after-hours dates for actual prostitution, most seem to avoid such dates and do not like to think of themselves as prostitutes. Again, they manage to convince themselves that what they are doing does not really count, that it is not real sex in that it is noncoital, and they can thus escape the moral degradation of actual prostitution. The following statement of one of these dancers should prove of interest in this context.
—♦♦♦—
“I worked about three months at this dance hall on Broadway near 46th, but then I had this hassle with the manager and quit, and I got another job at the same type of place a block or so uptown. The way it works, a fellow pays six dollars for half an hour’s worth of tickets, and the girls turn in the tickets at the end of the evening. You get a percentage of what you take in, with a guarantee for the
nights when the action is slow. I don’t think there’s any way to make as much money for as little work in this town.
“A lot of the guys you get are from out of town, and married, and they want to fool around with a pretty girl but they’re not ready to go right out and cheat, or else they would cheat but they don’t know where. Almost all of them proposition you sooner or later, but some of them do it just because they figure they have to, that it’s the thing to do. You can usually handle that sort of thing.
“Other times, and this is where the steady customers come in, the ones who repeat once a month or once a week or even more often than that, you get the ones who want to pop, to have an orgasm. I don’t know why they don’t go to a prostitute for the money they spend. Maybe they don’t know where to look. You can tell them right away. They’ll usually try to get a hand on my rear end right away and then they’ll press themselves right up against me and rub up and down until they get their kicks.
“On a slow night a smart girl makes it hard for them. You sort of lead them on but then move away or break the tempo of things a little, and keep them excited but not excited enough to finish, and that way they’ll buy an extra set of tickets to get it over with. Sometimes they want to open their pants and rub against you naked, or have you touch it. You can make a few extra dollars that way but I’d just as soon not, thank you. You have to be so damned careful or they’ll come all over your dress and then you have to go change, and it’s disgusting. I don’t mind the rub, but I don’t want anything on my hands or on my dress.”
Eros & Capricorn: A Cross-Cultural Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Techniques (John Warren Wells on Sexual Behavior Book 1) Page 6
