by Paige Toon
There are no celebrations that evening and the atmosphere is decidedly subdued. I see Will come back into the hospitality area after the doctors give him and Luis the okay, but Laura is by his side so I can’t – and don’t want to – get near him. Finally Frederick sends me back to the pits on clean-up duty and by the time I return to the already partially disassembled motorhomes, both Luis and Will have gone.
Chapter 15
I’m getting a bit bored with this flying business, now. I’m back at Heathrow again, and this time we’re off to Shanghai for the Chinese Grand Prix. This race used to come towards the end of the season, but races can be moved around on the calendar – or even removed completely. The French and Canadian Grands Prix recently succumbed to this fate.
I’ve had a lot to think about since Monaco, but right now I feel like I have very little to say to Holly. I’m still upset she hasn’t confided in me about Simon, and I certainly don’t feel like talking about Will. It was all very well daydreaming about him when ‘Laura’ was just a name, but now that I’ve met her, it’s a whole different ballgame. I know I have to try even harder to put my feelings for him to the back of my mind. Luckily we’re flying at night, so I can pretend to sleep, even if I can’t.
When Will turns up at the track in Shanghai on the Friday morning before the race, he looks unfamiliar again, but my heart still jolts at the sight of him. No, Daisy, I tell myself. Enough of this.
‘Hey,’ he says warmly, coming over to the serving table. ‘How are you?’
‘Okay, thanks,’ I reply coolly. ‘What can I get you?’
‘Er . . .’ He looks taken aback by my reaction.
‘Actually,’ I interrupt, then call over my shoulder. ‘Gertrude, can you see to Will?’
‘Of course,’ she says pleasantly, joining us at the table.
Will gives me a strange look before I walk away in the direction of the kitchen.
‘So have you heard the latest about their feud?’ Holly asks, appearing by my side.
‘Whose feud? Will and Luis’s?’
Holly rolls her eyes impatiently. She’s been in a foul mood the last couple of days, I’m guessing because Catalina is at this race. ‘Yes, Daisy. Who else’s? Are you still not reading the papers?’
I shake my head. I wanted to after Monaco to see if I could spot any pictures of Johnny in them, but for that reason alone I stopped myself.
‘I thought drivers were supposed to get over incidents quickly?’
‘Not our two,’ she says ominously. ‘Team-mates. Too close for comfort, I guess.’
‘Fill me in,’ I say to Holly.
‘Apparently,’ she whispers, checking to make sure no one is in earshot. ‘Luis blames Will for the accident in Monaco, saying that Will was showing off in front of his girlfriend because it’s the only race she’s gone to this year.’
I shake my head dismissively. ‘I don’t believe Luis said that.’
‘That’s what they wrote in the papers.’
‘And you wonder why I don’t read them?’
‘Well, they also reckoned that Will’s jealousy must’ve got the better of him because he feels like he’s over-the-hill compared to Luis, who hasn’t even reached his peak, yet.’
I scoff. ‘Yeah, right.’
‘I’m just telling you what I read.’
‘Okay, thanks,’ I say wryly, grabbing a bowl of hard-boiled eggs and tapping one against the counter to break the shell.
Holly joins me. ‘What’s up with you? Why don’t you believe it?’
‘Because Luis isn’t a gossip, for one thing,’ I say, peeling the shell off that egg before reaching for another one. ‘He’s not going to go running to the papers and spouting his mouth off.’
‘You’ve changed your tune,’ she says.
‘And as for Will being over-the-hill,’ I continue. ‘That’s just ridiculous.’
‘You would say that.’ She gives me a look.
‘They’re both only twenty-six, for crying out loud. If Will were forty, I’d agree.’
Holly falls silent and I realise what I’ve said. Simon is in his forties.
‘Do you think we should offer Catalina an egg sandwich?’ I don’t know why I just said that, but I have a mean desire to wind her up.
‘Fuck that,’ she snaps.
I put down the third hard-boiled egg that I’ve peeled and turn to face her, suddenly desperate to know the truth about her relationship with Simon.
‘What?’ she asks, glancing at me. She’s clearly still riled about Catalina.
‘Nothing.’ I lose my nerve and get back to work.
The modern track facilities in Shanghai are stunning – we’ve left our portable ‘motorhomes’ back in Europe. The circuit here is designed in the shape of the Chinese character ‘shang’, which stands for ‘high’ or ‘above’, and the hospitality buildings are arranged like pavilions on a lake to resemble the ancient Yuyuan Garden in the Old City.
The weather today is mild, with the humidity only moderate, and some of our guests are sitting outside at tables overlooking the water. I put together a tray of drinks and take it out to them. Luis is sharing a table with a couple of mechanics. They get up and go inside while he turns his attention to a newspaper.
‘Not catching up on all that ridiculous gossip about you and Will, are you?’ I ask him, placing the tray on his table to rest my arms for a moment.
He puts the paper down and looks up at me. ‘Have you been reading about it?’
‘No, Holly told me.’
‘Oh, I see. So how are you? I didn’t see you after the race in Monaco.’
‘Nor I you,’ I say. ‘And I should be asking how you are.’
‘Fine.’ His response is blunt. He pulls out a chair. ‘Take a break for a minute?’
I pause, then sit down. ‘So you weren’t hurt, then?’
‘What? In the crash?’
I nod.
‘No.’ He shakes his head. ‘No thanks to you know who.’
‘Will?’
‘Yes, Daisy,’ he replies pedantically, before changing the subject. ‘Did Johnny see you?’
I flinch a little at the sound of his name, then pull myself together. ‘I doubt it. He would have been far too caught up in himself to notice me.’
‘Does he know you’re working for a Formula 1 team?’ he asks.
‘No, I’m sure he doesn’t.’
‘He’s quite into racing, isn’t he? Doesn’t he have loads of sports cars?’
‘Yeah. How do you know all this?’
‘It’s just common knowledge. I’m not a massive fan or anything.’
‘Good.’ I flash him a wry smile. ‘Because I can’t get you an autograph anymore.’
He rolls his eyes.
‘Anyway,’ I add, ‘from the sounds of it, you and Will are more famous than he is at the moment, with this alleged spat going on.’
Luis’s face hardens as he looks past me towards the lake.
‘I don’t believe you gossiped about it, but do you blame him for the accident?’ I ask, tentatively.
‘Yeah. It was his fault.’ He glares at me and defiantly folds his arms.
‘Was it?’ I don’t honestly know.
‘Yes! He’s far too aggressive at overtaking, he didn’t leave enough room and clipped my wing. What does he expect at a track like Monaco? It’s not like he hasn’t driven there before – he should know better! Now I’ve lost ten points in the championship and I’m going to have to race twice as hard to get them back again!’
‘Alright, alright!’ I interrupt his rant, looking left and right. ‘I hope there aren’t any journalists listening in.’
He picks up the newspaper again. Now I’m not so sure he didn’t gossip.
‘Did you say that about his girlfriend?’ I can’t help asking. ‘About him showing off in front of her?’
‘Of course I bloody didn’t.’ He slaps the newspaper back down on the table, crossly.
‘No, I didn’t think so,�
�� I hurriedly tell him. ‘Did you get your jacket back, by the way?’
‘Yep.’
I left it for him at reception.
‘Right, well, I’d better get on.’
He nods and starts to read.
Moody bastard.
Later that afternoon I’m in the kitchen washing dishes when Will pokes his head around the door, making me jump with surprise. He’s never done that before.
‘Can I borrow you a sec?’ he asks me, before glancing at Frederick. ‘Is that alright?’
‘Sure.’ Frederick waves me out of the kitchen.
I join Will in the hospitality area. ‘Everything okay?’ I ask.
‘Yeah.’ He glances behind him and spies one of the front-of-house girls wiping down a nearby table. He looks back at me. ‘Can we go upstairs?’
‘Er, okay . . .’ I follow him, hesitantly, as he leads the way to the drivers’ suite situated directly above the hospitality area. He has to share a room here with Luis, so he checks it’s empty before ushering me inside.
‘What’s up?’ I prompt, standing just inside the door as he closes it behind him.
‘Um . . . Are you going out tonight?’
‘Yes, to a club in the Pudong district. You’re welcome to come, if you like.’
‘Er, no, thanks.’
I look at him, perplexed.
‘I was just wondering if . . . I’m sure you won’t, but . . .’
‘What?’ Now I’m dying of curiosity.
‘I think I’m just going to watch a movie in my room.’ He crosses his arms and then uncrosses them again. ‘If you fancy it . . .’ he adds.
‘Oh.’ I’m gobsmacked. To be honest, I wasn’t really up for another night on the town. I’m getting a bit bored with the late nights and drinking. I must be getting old.
‘But no chick flicks,’ he adds, forcing a grin. He looks uncomfortable, which is odd because he’s usually so composed.
‘Okay,’ I say. ‘What time?’
He looks relieved. ‘What time do you finish here?’
I glance at my watch. ‘Probably not for another couple of hours. Are you going to the hotel, now?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Shall I come up to your suite later, then?’
‘Sure.’ He uncrosses his arms.
I reach for the door handle, but he gets there before me, holding the door open.
‘See you later, then?’ I say, awkwardly stepping under his arm.
‘Cool. Okay.’
He shuts the door behind me, staying inside the room. I walk back down the stairs into the hospitality area, my mind racing.
Holly is not very impressed when I tell her I’m blowing her out, but when I come clean and explain what happened, she’s all ears.
‘Do you think he fancies you?’ she asks, her eyes wide.
I shake my head. ‘I doubt it.’ Although a tiny little voice inside my head isn’t so sure.
‘Then what’s going on?’
‘I don’t know. But I’ll fill you in later.’ I refrain from adding, I won’t keep secrets from you . . .
Does he like me? His behaviour in Monaco when he asked me for a drink was strange, and he clearly didn’t like me spending time with Luis. Maybe he’s just bored and wants some company?
But what if it’s not just that? What if it’s something more? If he made a move on me, would I have the willpower to say no? Nerves bombard me at the thought.
I don’t want to look like I’ve made too much of an effort, so when I get back to the hotel, I just change into some jeans and throw on my green jumper. I do take my hair down, though. What the hell, right?
‘Hey,’ Will says, stepping aside to let me pass when I turn up at his door. ‘I was just looking at the room service menu.’ I spy the card in his hand. ‘Are you hungry?’ he asks.
‘Depends what they’ve got,’ I reply.
‘Go through, go through,’ he says, using the menu card to wave me in the direction of the living area as he shuts the door behind me.
‘Wow!’ Floor to ceiling windows look out over the city of Shanghai, its vibrant lights shining like multicoloured stars in the darkness. My room is only on the third floor, so I don’t have much of a view, whereas Will is up on the forty-third.
The living room is softly lit by myriad table lamps. There’s a two-seater, soft cream leather sofa and a yellow fibreglass Eames chair in front of a large television. I opt for the sofa, thinking he can have the hard chair if he wants it. But he slumps down on the sofa to my right, making me move involuntarily a little to my left.
‘Can I have a look, then?’ I nod at the menu.
‘Sure.’ He puts it in front of me, but doesn’t let go, shifting in closer so he can continue to study his options. I feel distinctly on edge and struggle to stop myself from moving away again.
‘What are you having?’ I glance at him, sideways. He looks back at me with those beautiful blue eyes and my stomach flips.
‘Um . . .’ He studies the menu again. ‘I’ll have a burger,’ he decides, letting go of the card so that I’m left holding it. He shifts back to his side of the sofa and I stifle a sigh of relief.
‘I’ll have the same.’ I put the menu down on the dark-wooden coffee table.
‘Cool.’ He grabs the phone from the side-table next to him and calls room service, placing the order.
I squash myself further into my corner and tuck my feet up underneath myself. Feeling much safer, I turn to face him. He puts his foot up on his opposite knee and looks across at me.
‘I missed you after Monaco,’ he says.
‘I know. You’d already gone when I came back from cleaning up the pits.’
‘I was half-expecting you to text me again.’
I shake my head, resolutely. ‘Not with your girlfriend around. She might’ve found that a bit weird.’
‘Mmm,’ he says dryly, raising his eyebrows.
‘What?’ I ask, confused by his expression.
‘Oh, you don’t want to know,’ he brushes me off.
‘Tell me,’ I insist.
‘Ah, things are a bit strange between Laura and me at the moment.’
‘What do you mean?’ I ask cautiously.
‘Do you want a drink?’ He stands up and goes to the minibar, opening up the fridge and peering inside. He pulls out a bottle of water.
‘What is there?’ I ask.
‘Vodka, whisky, wine . . .’
‘I’ll just have a Diet Coke.’
He pulls out a can and cracks it open, pouring it into a glass. He brings the glass over and hands it to me, then slumps down again and swigs water straight from the bottle.
‘You were saying about your girlfriend?’ I prompt, grabbing one of the pale-yellow cushions adorning the sofa and hugging it to my chest.
He puts the bottle on the table.
‘Things are a bit weird?’
‘Yeah. You know, she doesn’t come to many races.’ He reaches down and scratches his knee. ‘So I’m not used to having her there.’
Oh. Is that all?
But then he sighs and leans back against the sofa, running his hands through his hair and peering up at the ceiling. ‘God, Daisy, this is really doing my head in.’ He stares at me and we hold eye contact until I break away.
‘What’s doing your head in?’ I ask warily, looking back to find he’s still watching me.
He doesn’t answer immediately and I hold my nerve. ‘You.’ That’s all he says: ‘You.’
‘I’m doing your head in?’ Oh, God. Is this really happening?
He rests his head back on the sofa and continues to stare at me sideways as my heart begins to beat faster.
‘I don’t understand,’ I say to him, desperately needing him to spell it out and avoid any confusion.
But he’s silent. And then he reaches over and touches the tips of my fingers with his, sending an electric shock shooting all the way up my arm and into my head. Then he pulls his hand away and stands up, pacing the r
oom.
‘Shit, this is a really bad idea. I don’t know what I’m doing.’ His expression is anguished.
‘Do you want me to go?’ I ask hesitantly, my heart pounding so loud I can’t believe he can’t hear it.
‘Yes, I think you should go.’ He sounds determined.
Shakily I get to my feet and step away from the sofa.
‘No, don’t.’ He comes over to me, but almost immediately walks away again. He looks so confused.
My autopilot kicks in. ‘I’ll go.’
‘Yes, yes, that’s a good idea.’
I walk to the door, my head spinning as I reach for the handle. Is he going to stop me? I pause, wavering, then pull on the door so that it opens a crack, letting the harsh fluorescent lighting from the corridor spill into the room. No. He doesn’t stop me.
I walk out into the corridor to see one of the hotel’s catering staff wheeling a room service trolley in our direction. Never mind. I wouldn’t have been able to eat anyway.
Needless to say I barely sleep that night. I cannot for the life of me believe what just happened. How the hell is he going to act now? My head hurts just thinking about it. I can’t let my heart hope. I just can’t. I keep unwittingly picturing him kissing me and I have to shake my head so it doesn’t run away with my thoughts.
I hear Holly come in later, but pretend to be out cold, and that’s exactly what she is when I wake up the next morning. I get up quietly and go into the bathroom, feeling overwhelmingly surreal about the night before. She comes in while I’m brushing my teeth.
‘You alright?’ she murmurs sleepily.
‘Um, not really.’ If I felt sick with nerves yesterday, that’s nothing compared to how I feel now.
‘Why?’ She yawns. ‘What happened last night?’
‘Will told me he likes me.’ I spit toothpaste out into the basin and rinse my mouth out.
‘What?!’ That wakes her up.
‘Well, more or less.’
‘Shit! What did you do?’
‘Nothing.’ I lean back on the basin and cross my arms. ‘After that, he asked me to leave.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes. I think he’s confused.’
‘God.’ She stares at me, open-mouthed. ‘I wonder how this is going to pan out.’
