by S. C. Wilson
“All right, but I didn’t come here to watch you work. I’m going to help.”
Jesse offered Abby her hand. “You can help,” she said, pulling Abby to her feet.
They went and got Buck and some equipment from the barn. Jesse tied the rope around a tree and connected it to Buck’s yoke. Wanting to make Abby feel needed, but not wanting her to damage her hands further, she let her guide Buck toward the cabin.
They worked until they started losing daylight. After having a bite to eat, both fell asleep quickly, too exhausted for anything else.
Jesse climbed down the ladder in the morning and gently shook Abby by the shoulder. “Morning, Abs. I’ll make some coffee and meet you on the porch.”
“Be out in a minute,” Abby said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Jesse smiled as Abby took a seat on the old stump chair next to her. “I forgot I still had them. I wish I would of thought of them sooner.” She handed Abby a pair of well-worn rawhide gloves that Frieda had made for her when she was a young girl. “I know they look rough, but they’ll protect your hands.”
“Thanks.” Abby prodded the stiff leather.
“How’s your back this morning?”
“Why, I had forgotten all about it. Whatever that stuff was did the trick.” She regretted the words the moment they left her mouth, costing her the opportunity for another massage from Jesse. She would welcome Jesse’s hands on her in any situation.
“Dammit!” Jesse yelled.
Abby turned in time to see Jesse throw the hammer. She approached the ladder and looked up. “Did you get your thumb?”
“Yes. I hate when I do that.”
Abby chuckled.
“And just what is so funny?” Jesse asked.
Having seen plenty of men with tempers over the years, she couldn’t help but be amused by Jesse’s. “I don’t mean to laugh. I know it’s not funny. But I’ve never heard you curse.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to swear.”
Abby laughed even harder. It amazed her Jesse felt the need to apologize for using such a mild curse word.
“Now what’s so funny? I could use a laugh.”
“It’s just…well, your little tantrum was adorable.”
“Ha, ha.” Jesse grinned as she climbed down the ladder.
“Let me see it,” Abby said, taking Jesse’s hand. She stopped laughing. “Oh.”
“Oh, what?”
“Blood is already pooling underneath your nail. That must hurt like the dickens.”
“Well, it doesn’t feel good that’s for sure.”
Abby kissed the thumb lightly. “Maybe we should quit for the day.”
“I’ve had worse.” Jesse caught Abby’s gaze. “It’s fine.” She pulled her hand away, picked up the hammer, and climbed back up the ladder.
“Like it or not you’re going to let me tend to it later,” Abby called up to her.
“If you say so.” Jesse smiled down at her before she started hammering again. “By the way, I think you look lovely in my clothes.”
Abby knew that probably wasn’t the case, but enjoyed the compliment all the same.
The pair fell into a smooth and easy pattern. Their friendship grew stronger. The more time they spent together, the more their desire for one another deepened. On nights when they had the energy, Abby helped Jesse perfect her poker skills. They went straight to bed other nights, too exhausted to even hold a hand of cards. Abby fell asleep each night wishing Jesse would stop fighting the temptation and join her in bed. Jesse fell asleep each night wondering how empty her life would be on top of Mount Perish once Abby was gone.
As Jesse came down the ladder one morning, she was surprised to find Abby already seated out on the porch, sipping a steaming cup of coffee.
“Morning, Abs. You’re up early. How about we take it easy today?”
Abby raised an eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?”
“Let’s go hunting.”
“So long as there are no worms involved.”
After a quick bite, they got ready for the hunt. Jesse strapped on the holster, slid the knife into its sheath, and grabbed the rifle. She led the way through the woods, impressing upon Abby the need for silence.
They stopped and hunkered down at a small cliff overlooking a clearing. Time passed in complete silence. The longer Abby sat quietly, the more her thoughts consumed her. She had never met someone as wonderful, tender, and kind as Jesse. Abby felt the time was right to disclose her darkest secret. Unable to face Jesse, she stared at the ground. “I was married once.”
Jesse was speechless, stunned by the revelation.
“We lived in Missouri, and things were good at first. I was sixteen and Silas was twenty-five. I was his second wife—his first passed away from an illness, or so he said. Si was a different person when we were courting. Once I became his wife, he thought he owned me. Never in my wildest dreams did I know a man could be so evil. He changed into a monster the day we got married. I guess he thought he should put me in my place from the start. He didn’t like what I had made for dinner. When I asked him what was wrong with it he hit me in the mouth, and stormed out. When he came back that night, I was in bed pretending to be asleep, hoping things would just blow over and be better in the morning. Without warning, he yanked me by the hair, turned me over to face him and told me it was his wedding night. I could tell from his breath he had gotten into the whiskey.”
Jesse set down her rifle and put an arm around Abby, pulling her close to protect her from the past.
“He had his way with me that night, kissing me so hard my lip started bleeding again. He hurt me so bad—I just wanted to die. I could barely move the next day, but he had no pity on me. I wanted to run out the door but he was on me again. I’ve never felt such pain in my life.”
Jesse’s own blood began to boil. How could a man be so mean to his wife, especially Abby? She had the instant urge to kill him with her bare hands.
Abby continued. “He would get violent over the smallest things. If one thing was out of place, he would take it out on me. It was like a game to him. I think he would move stuff just to see if I would put it back where it belonged. If I didn’t…well, he’d make sure I did.” She looked at Jesse. “I noticed you’re like that too.”
“I’m nothing like him.” Jesse’s body stiffened.
Abby turned Jesse’s face to meet her own. “You’re not, I just meant that I noticed you like things put in their place.” Abby dropped her gaze. “I learned quickly how to live with him without setting off his temper. Every day is a living hell when you live with someone like that. There was no way I could leave him. I knew he would search until he found me if I did. There was no doubt about that. He told me repeatedly he would kill me if I ever tried to leave him. My only blessing was I never had to carry his child. Of course he blamed me, saying I was no good at anything and couldn’t even make a baby.”
Abby placed her hand on Jesse’s leg. “I had no way out. I had no money and nowhere to go. I had taken his abuse for three years and then it came to me one night after a beating. The next morning he woke up and you know…which always made me sick to my stomach, but I knew better than to deny him. After he finished, he said he was going to go down to the river and do some fishing. I told him I would bring him some food later and we could have a nice picnic. I couldn’t wait for him to leave so I could wash away any trace of him off my body. I always did.”
Abby’s body shuddered as she thought of her husband’s touch. She felt Jesse pull her closer. “That afternoon I went to the river. As we ate, I looked around to make sure we were alone. I walked over to the river and looked down. I asked him to come tell me what kind of fish I was seeing. He stomped over, looked in, and asked me what the hell I was talking about.”
Abby paused. She took a few deep breaths before she continued, voice shaking. “While he was bent over, I hit him in the head with a rock and pushed him in. I knew he couldn’t swim and I would be rid of him once an
d for all. I dropped a bottle of whiskey on the ground next to his pole and went home. The next morning, I went to town and asked if anyone had seen him. Some men went to search, and I went back to the house and waited for the news. They never did find his body. I often wondered if his first wife actually died of illness or if he had beaten her to death.”
Jesse wiped the tears from Abby’s cheek; sad Abby had to relive the pain, but deeply touched to have been entrusted with something so personal.
“I’ve never told anyone…not even Mabel. Everyone thinks he got drunk and drowned in the river.”
Jesse put her hand on Abby’s cheek, turned her head, and looked into her eyes. “I would have done the same thing if I were you. He could have killed you.” Guilt welled up at the thought of her own secret, and Jesse wondered if Abby would think her a monster if she knew the truth. Perhaps now was the time to tell her.
Jesse swallowed hard. “There’s some—”
Abby gasped. “Look.”
“I see him.” Jesse handed the rifle to Abby. She wrapped her arms around Abby, helping her take aim at what she believed to be a sixteen-point buck. “Easy, Abs,” she whispered. “Aim just behind his shoulder.”
Feeling the warm breath on her cheek, Abby wanted more than anything to drop the rifle and turn for a kiss. She also wanted to impress Jesse. She focused, blinking hard before she aimed and fired.
The deer dropped to the ground. Jesse took the rifle from her tight grip, set the gun aside, and helped Abby to her feet. “You did it. That was a clean shot. I can’t believe it was your first time!”
Leading Abby down, unsure how she would react to seeing the dead animal up close, Jesse said, “You don’t have to watch this if you don’t want to.”
Abby didn’t want to appear weak. She still felt she had something to prove. She took the knife out of the sheath, and said, “Tell me what I need to do.”
Jesse smiled. She was surprised by Abby’s willingness to tackle the process. Then again, she was coming to realize how strong of a woman Abigail Flanagan truly was. Following Jesse’s instructions, Abby managed to gut her first deer. Jesse hoisted the carcass over her shoulders.
As they walked back, Jesse explained the tanning process. “…that’s why we need the brain. You have to mash it up really good and mix it with your pee. Then smear it all over the hide and let it dry.”
“Oh, good Lord.”
Jesse laughed.
They spent the rest of their time together finishing up the shelter, chopping and stacking firewood, and bundling up the hay. When the shelter was completed, they filled it with hay. When all of it was removed from the cabin, Abby spent the rest of the day scrubbing the wood floor. She was pleased Jesse wouldn’t have to live with the dusty hay stacked inside.
On their last day together, with no work left to do, they decided to go for a walk. Feeling bold, Abby took a chance and grabbed hold of Jesse’s hand. She liked the way her hand felt tucked safely inside, and smiled inwardly whenever she felt Jesse’s thumb caress her fingers as they strolled. After stopping to snack on berries, Abby was surprised when Jesse took hold of her hand. As they continued walking hand in hand, both did their best to hide the inner turmoil they felt, knowing the inevitable was only hours away.
Jesse led the way back to the cabin as twilight descended. They packed quickly, wanting to make the most of their remaining time together. Jesse went outside to start a fire.
Wrapped in a blanket with her back against a log, Jesse watched the flames grow, flickering in the breeze. Her eyes were focused on the fire, but her mind was elsewhere. She’s leaving in the morning. How will life ever be the same once she is gone?
“I thought it might be nice to spend our last evening under the stars,” Jesse said, smiling, as Abby approached. She pulled the blanket aside and motioned for Abby to join her.
Abby rested her head in the curve of Jesse’s neck, overcome with a feeling so far removed from anything she had ever felt, she wasn’t sure what to call it. She sensed a change in Jesse’s breathing, felt a quickening in the rise and fall of the chest beneath her. She knew Jesse was attracted to her—could see it in those green eyes—but she couldn’t figure why Jesse was reluctant to further their relationship. Thinking naiveté might be the reason, Abby asked, “Have you ever been with a woman?”
“…Um…no. No, I never have.”
“It’s all right, Jesse. I will show you what to do. You don’t have to be scared to touch me.”
Jesse exhaled. “It’s not that I’m scared to be with you like that. We just can’t.”
“Is it because you’re scared what happened to Mabel will happen to me? There are ways we can prevent that from happening, you know.”
Before Jesse could respond, Abby placed a hand on her leg. With the Northern lights playing out above them, hearts beating in sync, their passion could be restrained no longer.
Hesitant at first, Abby’s hand continued, trailing higher until she felt Jesse remove her arm from beneath her. Expecting another lecture on why they couldn’t be together, Abby was surprised when Jesse sat up, removed her hairpin, and placed it on the log.
Jesse had wanted to run her fingers through Abby’s hair since that day at the waterfall. She had been too scared to do it then. She was still scared, but her desire eclipsed her fear.
Abby lay back on the blanket and the movement caused her gown to ride up, exposing the bare thighs beneath. She stared into Jesse’s eyes, heart racing, feeling more aroused than she ever thought possible.
Jesse placed her hand on the soft skin of Abby’s bent knee. She leaned down and kissed her lips lightly, teasingly, and pulled away quickly. Slowly, she slid her hand up the smooth thigh before clasping Abby’s hands in her own. She raised Abby’s hands above her head and held them in place.
Abby lifted her head, searching frantically for the lips just out of her reach.
Finally, confidently, Jesse kissed her again, their tongues coming together for the first time. Releasing Abby’s hands, Jesse ran her fingers down Abby’s arms, caressing the soft skin, making Abby quiver.
Abby wrapped her arms around Jesse’s neck, pulling her close, and whispered in her ear. “Make love to me,” Abby pleaded, her voice trembling.
Panic flared, bringing Jesse to her senses. “Abs. We need to stop.”
Confusion flickered across Abby’s fire-lit features. “What? What do you mean? I want you now more than ever.”
“If we don’t stop now, I won’t be able to.” Jesse’s eyes bore deeply into Abby’s. Their intensity mirrored her feelings perfectly.
“We don’t have to stop. I want you. I want to touch you.”
Jesse’s intense gaze fell guiltily away. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Don’t apologize. I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I know you have to be wanting—”
Jesse shook her head. “I am, but it wouldn’t be right. We already went farther than we should have. I’m sorry.”
“You really want to stop? Now?” Abby was even more confused.
“Yes,” Jesse heard herself say. What she truly wanted was to strip out of her clothes and let Abby touch every inch of her.
Abby took a tremulous breath, trying to accept what Jesse was saying. “Well, if that’s what you really want. But please don’t be sorry for anything that just happened.” Unsure of what more she could say and not wanting things to turn awkward, Abby didn’t force the issue.
They lay together under the blanket staring at the night sky, both thinking about what just happened—and wanting what didn’t. Abby finally broke the silence as she clasped Jesse’s hand. “I don’t want to leave tomorrow.”
Jesse squeezed back. “I don’t want you to leave. But since you’ve helped me get so much done, how ‘bout I stay in town a couple days when we get back? I’d love to come hear you sing.”
“I’d love that,” Abby said, grateful for any time they could share.
Jesse stood, helped Abby to h
er feet, and led her to the cabin on still-trembling legs.
Abby climbed into bed, surprised when Jesse took a seat next to her and kicked off her boots. Jesse slid off her pants and joined her under the covers. Abby was disappointed the one-piece underwear stayed in place, but still happy to fall asleep in Jesse’s arms.
Jesse and Abby finally snuggled together in the same bed on their last night together on the mountain.
Chapter Twenty
Abby woke in the same position she had fallen asleep in. She felt it as soon as she opened her eyes, but she still looked down to be sure. Jesse’s arm was around her waist, and she couldn’t help but smile. She placed her arm over Jesse’s, relishing in the warm cuddle for as long as she could. She could stay like this all day. Jesse’s body twitched. The muscular forearm slid out from under her hand. The sudden absence was like a cold breeze.
“Abs, wake up. We need to get ready.”
“Don’t get up.” Abby jumped out of bed. The old puncheon log floor creaked as she hurried across the room and retrieved a package from her saddlebag. Beaming, she returned to the bed, lay on her stomach, and handed it to Jesse.
“What is it?” Jesse sat up.
“You’ll have to open it and see.” Abby’s smile widened.
Jesse pulled the end of the long red bow and ripped off the fancy wrapping paper.
Abby sat up and placed her hand on Jesse’s leg. “Well, do you like it?” Excitement radiated in her voice.
Jesse didn’t speak.
“The man in Big Oak said it was the best of the best.”
Jesse ran her fingers over the ornately carved, walnut handle. “I love it,” she said, sliding the long, shiny blade out of its sheath.
“Happy birthday, Jesse!”
Still holding the knife, Jesse put her free arm around Abby. “I can’t believe you remembered. I didn’t even know it was today. Thank you.” Her gaze shifted back to the knife. She lightly tapped her finger against the blade, admiring the sharpness. “I really do love it, but you didn’t have to get me anything.”
