by Kate L. Mary
It was not his words that made my throat tighten with emotion, but the expression in his eyes as he looked me over. The love that had shimmered in them before had deepened until it threatened to overwhelm us both.
“I knew you survived because I went to your house after the fight to make sure. I had to know.”
He leaned down and kissed me again, and I wrapped my arms around him. For just a few moments we were lost in each other. The dangers outside this cave did not exist, and there was no death or war. There was just the two of us.
But it could not last. Not when Asa’s people were suffering, and it was not long before he pulled away.
“I need this, Indra,” he said, pleading with me this time. “My people need this. You once told me you were a ghost, and you’re not alone in that.”
It was true, I realized. Because of me, Asa’s life and the lives of the other Fortis who had fled with him were now upside down. They were as much ghosts in this world as I had been after losing my tribe. If he came here, if the other Heads allowed him to join our treaty, things between us would be less complicated. He could be here with me every night.
It felt like the question Asa had asked me the last time he was here was hanging hung over our heads, and my insides stirred from the possibilities. Would I consider marrying someone outside my tribe? Could I marry Asa, or would it destroy everything?
I was not sure of the answer, just as I had no idea what the future held, but I had to try. And not just for myself. For Asa and his people as well.
“Do not get your hopes up,” I said. “I will take you to meet the other Heads tomorrow, but they will not be easy to convince.”
“All I ask for is a chance,” he said.
Then he settled down next to me again, his long body flush with mine, and wrapped me in his embrace.
26
With Cruz no longer in our alliance, the decision to allow Asa and his people to join us would be up to Roan and Ontari. The three of us had fallen into a trusting relationship, one I never could have foreseen, but more than anything, this would test what we had built. It would not be easy to convince the other tribes that even one of the Fortis were trustworthy, let alone a whole group of them.
Even worse, I had withheld my relationship with Asa, and I worried they would see it as betrayal instead of what it was. A desire to keep my feelings private until I understood them myself. I did not care what anyone thought about Asa and me, my bringing him to the cave proved that, but I also did not want others weighing in on it until I had decided for myself what I wanted. Ontari and Roan had no idea I had gone to the Fortis village three days before our attack, and even though everything had turned out okay, it could very well seem like a betrayal to them.
It was hard to say who would be more difficult to convince. Both Roan and Ontari trusted me, but Asa was still a Fortis. To many people, like Emori, it did not matter that he and his group had fled his village, or that they had not warned the others. It only mattered where he had been born.
When I left the caves, I took only Mira and Asa. We went to the Mountari village first since it was closer, and despite my joy at knowing Asa was alive, as well as having him at my side, the weight on my shoulders seemed to increase with every step we took.
I had not expected the same warm welcome we were used to receiving, but I was still unprepared for the hostility that met us when we arrived at the Mountari village. Even during our first visit the people had done little more than look at us with curiosity, but now, as we approached the outskirts of the village, they moved out of our way like they expected an attack, and a few of the men even went for spears or knives.
After everything we had been through, Asa’s first instinct was to put himself between me and danger. In this instance, however, it would only make him seem like a threat, not a guest.
“Let Mira and me take the lead,” I whispered as I stepped around him and continued into the village.
Every single Mountari man and woman stopped to stare, their gazes mostly on Asa. If his size had not marked him as a Fortis, the passage markings on his arms did. No Outliers, not even the Trelite, had such thick, dark lines on their skin.
Roan and Zuri met us halfway through the village, each of them carrying a spear. “What is the meaning of this?” the Head demanded when he had stopped in front of us. “You have brought a Fortis into our village, Indra? Is this an act of war?”
“No. You must hear me out, Roan.” I raised my hands to show I was not armed, and Mira did the same. I looked back to find Asa copying us. “He is a friend.”
“Friend?” Zuri’s usual smile was gone when she spit the word at me. “He is a Fortis!”
She glanced behind her, and in the distance I spied a teenage girl I had never seen before. Her daughter. The girl’s gray eyes gave away who she was, as well as what she had gone through in the Fortis village. It brought back memories of my own defilement, and I suddenly found I could not keep my head up.
“I know it does not seem likely,” Mira said when I did not reply, “but it is true.”
I kept my head lowered, but lifted my gaze from the ground. Roan looked at me, and then at Mira, saying nothing. Even when he looked past us, studying the large man at my back, the Mountari Head did not utter a word.
A long time seemed to pass before he finally looked at me again and said, “Explain yourself.”
The fire in Zuri’s gaze did not lessen as I began my story. I recounted my time working in the city and how Asa had helped me, as well as the many times he had saved both Mira and me from other Fortis guards, and how he had made sure I got safely back to my village after I was whipped.
“Even when I did not return to my job in the city, he made sure to watch over Mira,” I finished.
Roan had listened without interruption, but his gaze had not softened when he turned it on Mira. “You can confirm this?”
“I can,” my friend replied.
The Head frowned, and he once again looked past us to where Asa stood, taking in his surroundings, studying the people in front of him, as well as the lygan bones decorating the village. He had worked in the city just as I had, and had seen members of the Mountari tribe before, but not like this. Not in their home, surrounded by the remnants of the lygan they had killed. Not with their chests exposed, showing off the piercings that proved what great hunters they were. It had to be intimidating, had to make them look savage and threatening. I knew, because I had entertained the same thoughts before getting to know these people.
“Step forward, Fortis.” Roan’s voice boomed through the village.
Mira and I moved aside, giving Asa room to walk by. He said nothing as the Head looked him over. Behind Roan, Zuri’s expression had softened, and it both surprised and unnerved me to find that her gaze was focused not on Asa, but on me.
“I am Roan, Head of the Mountari,” the Head began, “Indra tells me that you fled your village with other people and can be trusted.”
“That’s right.” Asa shot a quick glance my way, but I could not read his expression. “There are nearly fifty of us, mostly women and children. We’ve been in the cliffs since our village was destroyed, but we can’t stay there. We need help learning how to live in the wilds. We’ve never done it before. In exchange, we will help you fight the Sovereign.”
“Why would you do this?” Roan’s hand tightened on his spear. “Why would you betray your people so quickly and with so little thought?”
Asa’s gaze moved to me again, this time lingering a little longer. “Because I’m not like those other men, and I’m not the only one. Because I don’t think anyone should be treated the way the Sovereign treat the Outliers.”
“And because you are in love with her,” Zuri said.
All eyes were on Asa now, waiting for his response. Roan’s, Mira’s, everyone else in the village. Zuri, however, was still staring at me.
It only took a beat for Asa to murmur, “Yes, I am.”
The heat that flared acros
s my cheeks grew more intense when Roan turned his gaze on me. “And what about you, Indra, Head of the Windhi. Do you love this man? This Fortis?”
I looked down, focusing on the sprigs of grass in front of me so I did not have to look Roan in the eye. I had said the words to Asa only once, and had admitted my feelings to no one else since then, not even Mira. Saying them now, in front of the entire Mountari tribe, made it too real. I owed Roan the truth, though. I was asking a lot of him, and if I wanted him to trust Asa, I would have to put my trust in him as well.
After a beat, I tore my gaze from the ground and looked at Asa. He was watching me, waiting for me to answer, and his gaze, so steady and sure, gave me strength.
“I do love him,” I said, still staring at Asa, and I had never been more certain of my feelings.
Roan sighed, breaking the spell Asa had on me, and I looked back at the Head to find his expression troubled. “This is a difficult thing you ask of me, Indra. More difficult than anything you have asked so far.”
“I know,” I said. “I would not ask if I did not believe Asa could be trusted. I have put everything I have in his hands, and he has never let me down. I know he is worthy of our trust.”
“I believe you believe that,” Roan replied, “but I cannot put my people in this kind of danger. Not without some proof we can rely on this man. If he fights the Sovereign with us, I will be willing to consider the matter more. But for now, I must tell you no. I cannot align my tribe with a Fortis. Not after everything they have done to our people.” Roan stepped back, signaling that the discussion was over, and even though I could tell he was confident in his decision, there was real regret in his eyes. “I am sorry, Indra.”
“I believe you are,” I replied.
At my side Asa stood taller. “I will fight with you, and I will prove I can be trusted.”
“I hope that is true.” Roan’s gaze moved from Asa and me. “For both your sakes.”
Silence followed us out of the village, and my scalp prickled from the knowledge that the gazes of every member of the Mountari tribe were watching us. At my side, Mira was silent, but it would not last forever. She would have something to say about this.
She said nothing the whole way back, though, and when we reached the cave, she went inside alone. Asa and I had things to discuss, but I had no desire to revisit the argument with Emori or Linc. Not when my mind was already so troubled.
“I am sorry,” I told Asa once we were alone. “I warned you it would not be easy.”
“I’ll prove to them that I can be trusted,” he said. “I have to.”
“I believe you can.”
Asa reached out to me then, his fingers brushing the passage markings on my chin and setting my skin on fire. “You told me you loved me that night in my house, but I wasn’t sure if you meant it.”
My gaze moved to the ground, focusing once again on the sprigs of green poking through the long dead leaves dotting the forest floor. “I would not have said it if it was untrue.”
Asa’s hand dropped from my face. “Why does loving me make you turn away?”
“It feels wrong.” I ventured a look up, but being so close to Asa while we talked about this tore my insides up, and it was only a beat before I was once again staring at the ground.
“Because of your husband?” he murmured, the question barely louder than a whisper on the wind.
“And because you are a Fortis and I am an Outlier. Because my tribe, even those who did not complain when you came to the cave today, will not accept it. We have never married outside our tribe, and you are—”
“The enemy,” he said with a sigh.
“Yes,” I whispered.
Asa exhaled, and only a moment later said, “What’s your next move?”
I let out a deep breath as well, blowing the discomfort away and finally managing to lift my head. “I may have to sneak into the city. We need more information, and I have to find out what happened to Xandra.”
Worry clouded Asa’s vision. “How will you get in?”
“There is a back entrance, a tunnel behind the city.”
“Behind the city?” His eyebrows furrowed. “Where the mirrors are?”
My back straightened as my heart beat faster. Asa knew about the mirrors? It made sense. He was a Fortis, and their village had been close to the walls, close to the lake. But did he know what they were?
“You know about the mirrors?” I asked. “What are they? What do they do?”
“I do,” he said, nodding. “The mirrors collect sunlight, and the tower moves it to the city. It’s how the Sovereign have electricity.” Asa hesitated, and something in his expression made the hair on the back of my neck prickle. I had a strange sense that I was about to learn something new, something important. “There are people there, living in the tower. They maintain the panels in exchange for help from the Sovereign.”
“What people?” My mind spun not only with the new information, but with thoughts of what it could mean. This could be the answer we had been looking for. “Who are they?”
Something in my excitement must have made Asa uncomfortable, because he took a step back and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
He was wrong, though. Already a plan was forming in my head. This was the answer we had been looking for, the missing piece that would help us defeat the Sovereign.
“It does matter.” Irritation coated my words, and I did not try to hold it in. “Going into the city is too risky right now, but if we take out their power, it will give us an advantage. We have to hit the tower next. We need to destroy the mirrors.”
Asa’s brown eyes widened, and for the first time since we met, he looked scared. “No, Indra. You can’t. The people living there, they aren’t like us. They’re defenseless.”
We had already had this conversation, and I may have given in then, but I would not this time. Not again. Not when Xandra was missing. Not when this would give us the advantage we had been looking for.
“I have heard that before, Asa, and I listened to you then, but I cannot this time. This is the only way. If we cut off the power to Sovereign City, they will be at our mercy. It will help us win the war.”
I turned toward the cave, anxious to tell Mira what I had learned, but Asa blocked my way. “You can’t do this, Indra. If you destroy the mirrors, the Sovereign will send the rest of the Fortis to the tower. They’ll kill everyone there. Those people are only useful to the Sovereign because they need someone to watch the mirrors. Their blood will be on your hands.”
Anger flared through me and without thinking, I shoved him. When my palms landed against his chest, it was like slamming them into the wall of the cave, but I managed to catch him by surprise. Asa stumbled back a few steps, freeing my way to the entrance, but I did not move. I was too angry.
“Do not tell me what I can and cannot do,” I spit at him. “Those people may die if I do this, but it will mean my people live. That they will live freely for the first time in centuries! The sacrifice is worth it to me.”
It was Asa’s turn to be angry. “I can’t support this. I won’t.”
He was so much taller than I was, but it did not stop me from moving closer, from lifting myself up on my toes so we were almost face to face. “You just swore you would find a way to convince the Huni and Mountari your people are trustworthy. This is it, Asa. This will convince them. If you fight with us, they will see you as an ally.”
The anger faded from his eyes, but he did not back away. And I could tell just by looking at him that he never would.
“I can’t,” he said. “You once told me it was time to choose a side, and that’s what I’m doing.”
“You would stand against me?” The shock of it forced me to take a step back. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to scream at him, maybe push him again, but I was too stunned. After everything we had been through, I had not thought he would stand against me on anything.
“I have to stand with whoever’s in the right, Indra. I
t’s why I supported you before, why I fled my village and left my own people to die, but I won’t do it this time. You’re wrong. You’ll know it when you get there and see the people. You’ll understand then.”
He took a step back, and the movement pushed my shock away, making room for anger once again. “What does this mean? Will you try to stop me, Asa?”
His face scrunched up, reminding me of someone who had just been bitten by one of the many bugs living in the wilds. “I’ll do what I have to.”
My hand went to my knife, and his gaze followed the movement, but he did not pull his own weapon. I needed to stop him from warning the people in the tower, only I could not. Emori had been right. My feelings for Asa were clouding my judgment, but I could do nothing about it now. I had gone too far, given him too much of myself.
“If you do this, the other tribes will never trust you. You and your people will be outsiders for the rest of your lives. Think about that, Asa. Then think about what you can gain if you work with us. If you march on the towers with us, the Huni and Mountari will let you in on our treaty, and you and your people can come here to live. In the caves.” I wanted to tell him we could be together if that happened, but the words were impossible to get out in the light of what was about to happen. Just looking at him told me that he would not back down.
“I can’t do what you ask of me, Indra. I’d do almost anything for you, almost anything to save my people, but this is impossible.”
Pain pulsed through my heart as if it had been slashed in half by his words. My hand dropped to my side, and I looked away. “Go before someone else shows up. I cannot kill you, Asa, but others would not hesitate.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him nod once. He was still looking at me when he took a step back, and a fresh wave of pain pulsed through my heart. Still, I could not change his mind. The choice had been his to make, and now we were both going to have to live with it.
