‘Oh, just work gossip. You know what we girls can be like.’ Getting the message, Sally deflected Jake’s question and perched herself back on her stool.
‘You’re back early.’ Changing the subject, Emily arranged her face into a bright smile. She would drive everyone away at this rate, including her best friend. Plus, she was desperate for Jake to look at her anything but guardedly. He knew she was worried; he’d always been able to sense that kind of thing. When she’d been so upset about Millie’s childhood asthma diagnosis, he’d been there, strong, professional, reassuring. When she’d been devastated thinking she might be losing Ben six months into her pregnancy, he’d been there for her, so supportive, such care and kindness in his eyes, she wouldn’t have got through it without him. Was he avoiding full-on eye contact now out of guilt? Because he didn’t want to acknowledge how crushed she would be to find out he was cheating on her? But how unfair was she being expecting him to read her mind? She had to talk to him, however painful it might be.
‘I had a call-out.’ He draped his jacket over his case, ran a hand tiredly across his neck and then walked around to press a light kiss to her cheek, which was at least something. ‘I came straight home rather than go back to the surgery.’
‘Oh?’ Emily glanced up at him, uneasiness prickling her skin as she noticed his cautious expression.
Jake took a visible breath. ‘In light of … certain recent events, I thought I should tell you that the call-out was from Natasha Jameson,’ he went on, causing Emily’s heart to somersault in her chest. ‘She sounded distraught and said she was injured. I felt obliged to go.’
Noting the hands now shoved in his pockets and his shrug, as if it were no big deal, Emily’s anger unleashed suddenly inside her. ‘I bet you did,’ she fumed, yanking herself to her feet and striding across the kitchen with no purpose other than to open a cupboard, extract a cup she didn’t need and then bang it shut again.
There was deathly silence for several long seconds, until Sally broke it, clattering her stool as she got to her feet. ‘Right, well, I should probably get off,’ she announced with forced jollity. ‘Dave will be wondering where I am.’
Coming across to Emily, she squeezed her shoulders. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow, hun.’
Emily gave her a small nod, grateful for her diplomacy. Staying where she was, her back to Jake until Sally had slipped out of the door, she tried to think rationally. Natasha was one of his patients. She might have felt she needed medical attention, but … why would she call Jake from her mother’s house in Worcester? And why would he go? It was over an hour’s drive away. Surely, if it were urgent, he would have advised her to dial the NHS emergency helpline or go to the local accident and emergency? Emily had offered to take her there herself, for God’s sake.
She couldn’t ignore this. Whatever the fallout might be, there was no way she could simply say nothing. Breathing deeply, she braced herself. ‘Where was she?’ she asked, her voice strained. ‘Natasha, where did you see her?’
Jake took a minute. Then, ‘Why?’ he asked.
‘Why?’ Emily whirled around, astonished. Was he serious? ‘Because I know very well she isn’t at home,’ she pointed out, daring him to lie to her outright. ‘Where did you see her?’
Jake narrowed his eyes. ‘A hotel,’ he answered eventually.
A hotel? Stifling a half-hysterical laugh, Emily looked up to the ceiling. What a poor, gullible idiot she was. Had she honestly believed that Natasha bloody Jameson had been telling her the truth? Confiding in her? There she’d been, confronted by her husband, fleeing from him – only to bump into Emily on the drive. She would hardly have admitted she was cheating on Michael to her, the woman married to the man she was cheating on him with, would she? She hadn’t stayed at her mother’s house, clearly – if it even was her mother’s house Emily had dropped her off at. She’d gone to a hotel. Probably a pre-booked hotel. Did they think Emily was completely stupid?
‘She’s not safe at home,’ Jake went on, oblivious to her incredulous stare, her mounting anger, ‘but it appears you’re already aware of that. What letter were you discussing?’ he asked her. ‘You and Sally, when I came in?’
Emily ignored that. Her chest heaving, she stared hard at him, hardly able to believe that he was questioning her as if she were the one in the wrong. ‘Yes, and you know bloody well why she’s not safe in her home.’ She almost spat the words out. ‘Because of you, you bastard!’
Jake’s eyes darkened. ‘What are you talking about, Emily?’ he asked, his quiet tone belying his taut expression, the agitated tic playing at his cheek.
‘You know very well what,’ she seethed. ‘I am not stupid, Jake. Or blind! I know all about your extracurricular activities. I can read, in case it had escaped your notice.’
Jake sucked in a breath. ‘It hadn’t,’ he said tightly. ‘I don’t think you’re stupid, Emily, or blind. I do think, however, that you might be a little … over-tired. The symptoms you’ve been experiencing – lack of energy, shortness of breath, headaches and palpitations – could all be due to an iron deficiency, which you have. I got the results back this morning. But the broken sleep, this … bizarre behaviour … We should get you another blood test organised in case we’re missing—’
‘Bizarre behaviour?’ Emily stopped listening. Oh, nice move, Dr Merriden. Pop your caring professional hat on. That should ramp up the guilt a bit. ‘As in irrational?’ she asked, holding his gaze, challenging him to belittle her. How long would it be before he told her it was all in her mind?
‘That’s not what I said.’ Massaging his forehead, he dropped his gaze. ‘The thing is,’ he looked back at her, his expression now one of discernible agitation, ‘unless you tell me, I have no idea what the bloody hell you’re talking about!’
He’d lost his temper. Something he never did. Even when the kids tried his patience severely, even when it was obvious his father was grating on his nerves, he was restrained. Angry, but never outwardly aggressive. Why would he be now? Because she was in danger of stripping away his perfect persona, revealing him for what he was, a liar and a cheat? That would shatter his good-family-doctor image, wouldn’t it, she thought, her throat tightening.
‘You know that I know what you’re doing, don’t you?’ Biting the tears back, she kept her gaze fixed firmly on his.
‘For Christ’s sake.’ Jake raked a hand through his hair. ‘What am I doing? Will you please just tell me what’s going on, because I don’t know, Emily. I have no clue.’
‘No, nor did Michael,’ Emily pointed out, her heart catching as she recalled how furious Michael had been, how violent and then utterly devastated. ‘Until today, that is. It’s quite sad, isn’t it? That a man who worked his fingers to the bone building his business could have his life reduced to rubble by someone he’d placed his trust in. Someone everyone places their trust in, misguidedly.’
‘Emily, you need to stop this.’ Clearly shaken, Jake moved towards her. ‘You obviously think that somehow I’m involved with Natasha. You’re wrong, I promise you. We need to sit down and talk, calmly.’
Emily stiffened as he placed his hands on her shoulders. She couldn’t help herself. Having him so close, smelling his scent of crisp white cotton suffused with the citrus aftershave he wore – and what else? Undertones of a woman’s perfume? – was too painful.
‘Somehow involved?’ she repeated, an errant tear escaping her eyes despite her best efforts. ‘That’s the problem, Jake, I can imagine all the ways. Every position. Wouldn’t you, if it were me cheating on you?’
His eyes a whirlpool of confusion, he searched her face, his own deathly pale, and then dropped his hands away. ‘This is hopeless.’ He breathed out heavily. ‘You’ve got it all wrong, Emily. I have no idea why you would even think … Can we not just talk it through? Please?’
‘You went to see her in a hotel, Jake. There’s nothing to talk about as far as I can see, is there?’ she retorted flatly, and turned away.
; ‘She’s a bloody patient!’ he yelled after her as she walked towards the door. ‘What did you expect me to do?’
She spun back around. ‘Exactly what you did!’ she yelled back. ‘No, scratch that. I honestly expected more of you than this … predictable shit!’
‘I am not cheating on you, Emily,’ Jake insisted furiously. ‘When in God’s name do you think I would have time?’
Emily laughed scornfully. ‘Um, now let me think …’ she said, arranging her face into a thoughtful frown. ‘When you disappear on your “call-outs” to visit your “patients”, possibly? When you’re sweating over the mountain of paperwork in your office? Supposedly.’
‘For crying out loud.’ Jake heaved in a breath. ‘This is madness, Emily! Bordering on paranoia. You need to let me run some tests. If you won’t let me do them, then I’ll organise a referral. Please just allow me to do something, will you? We can’t carry on like this.’
And there it was. Hardly able to believe her ears, Emily stared hard at him, stunned by his attempt to deflect his guilt, the consequences of his actions, by claiming she was insane. And he would be qualified to do so, wouldn’t he? ‘Do not do this to me, Jake,’ she warned him. ‘It won’t work. I will fight you. While I have breath in my body, I swear to God I will.’ Sweeping a gaze filled with contempt over him, she whirled around and flew into the hall – and then froze.
Oh God, no. This was exactly what she’d been trying to avoid: her children being caught in the crossfire. They’d clearly overheard. Ben’s face said it all. Behind him, by the front door, Millie looked equally shocked. Her stomach flipping over, Emily found her voice. ‘Have you just arrived?’ she asked them, praying they hadn’t heard all of it.
‘Unfortunately.’ Ben shrugged, his gaze unimpressed.
‘And now I’m leaving,’ Millie said bluntly, her eyes shot through with something near hatred as she dragged them mutinously over her mother.
‘Millie …’ Emily’s heart leapt as her daughter turned to yank the front door open. ‘Where are you going?’
‘Anna’s. I’m staying over.’ She headed down the drive without looking back.
‘Millie, come back!’ Emily called desperately after her. ‘It’s late. You can’t—’
‘No way!’ Millie shouted. ‘Do you really think I want to listen to that crap?’
‘Millie!’ Watching her daughter flee angrily into the night, Emily felt her heart splinter. She’d done this. Forced her to do exactly what she’d forbidden her to do. What she herself had done when her teenage home had felt like an alien place. She’d never imagined that she and Jake would put their children through the kind of trauma they’d both suffered at their parents’ hands. Jake had been blameless when his world had disintegrated. She hadn’t. She’d carried her guilt all her life. And now she would be carrying the guilt of her actions all over again.
‘Going up. Got some stuff to do for uni,’ Ben muttered as she stepped back into the hall.
‘Ben?’ Emily wanted to go to him, reassure him, but he was already halfway up the stairs, her boy growing fast into a man, growing more distant from her; from Jake, too, as their personalities clashed. He and Ben were so different in nature. Ben was sensitive; he could be laid-back and easy-going sometimes, but there was also a moodiness about him, as evidenced by his challenging Jake – after being escorted home by the police, for goodness’ sake. He hadn’t just been moody that time, he’d bordered on aggressive. Jake had told her not to worry too much about it. He’d put it down to the large amount of alcohol Ben had obviously consumed, but Emily did worry about it, constantly.
Watching him disappear along the landing, she swiped the tears from her eyes and grabbed her jacket from the peg, rifling through her pockets for her car keys. They weren’t there. Where were they? Her memory was like a sieve lately. She was searching hopelessly for her bag when Jake came out of the kitchen.
‘Where are you going?’ she asked him, cold apprehension slicing through her as she noticed his car keys in his hand.
‘After our daughter.’ He shot her a furious glance as he strode past her. ‘There’s no way I’m going to allow her to walk around on her own at night, upset. I’ll drop her at Anna’s, assuming I can’t persuade her to come back.’
Bewildered, Emily simply nodded and watched him go. He didn’t bang the door behind him as she’d half expected he might, but still the sound of it closing was like a death knell. A terrifying thought occurred. Might he be right? Might she really be going mad? Her paranoia, as Jake termed it, blowing things horribly out of proportion?
Her thoughts a petrified jumble in her head, she was walking shakily back to the kitchen when her phone beeped from the lounge. Hoping it might be Millie, she dashed to fetch it.
I’m watching you was all the text said. It came from an unknown number.
Emily gulped back a sharp knot of fear. She wasn’t going out of her mind. Someone was trying to drive her there.
Ten
Jake
Jake felt desperately sorry for Zoe, who was weeping quietly in his surgery. Having seen her and Dean together at the fair, he’d been astounded by what she’d just told him. He’d bumped into Dean a few weeks back in the pub one lunchtime while waiting for Emily – before their lives had started falling apart. Dean had been over the moon about his expected baby, beaming all over his face. Zoe and Dean were both in their early twenties, only married a few months and renting a small property because they couldn’t afford to buy. The pregnancy hadn’t been planned, but they hadn’t been daunted by the prospect of parenthood. Far from it, they’d been excited about it. And now this. Life really did have a habit of kicking you in the teeth when you least expected it.
Unable to sit there and do nothing, he went around his desk, offered Zoe the box of tissues he kept there for this sort of occasion, and then, throwing protocol out of the window, placed an arm gently around her shoulders.
‘I’ll try to hurry the appointment up,’ he said softly, as she tried to compose herself. ‘Try not to worry. There will be other opportunities.’ He cursed himself then, realising how hollow that sounded. ‘I can organise some counselling for you if you’d like?’
Zoe shook her head, blew her nose and dabbed at her eyes. ‘No,’ she said, with a shaky breath. ‘I’ll be okay, Dr Merriden. Thank you for being so kind.’
He didn’t assure her it was just part of his job. She needed genuine kindness right now. And he really did feel for her. ‘Come and speak to me if you need to. Any time.’ He gave her shoulders a squeeze. ‘Just let Emily or Nicky know I’ve okayed it and we’ll fit you in.’
She managed a tremulous smile. ‘I will.’ She nodded and got to her feet. ‘You’re a lovely man, Dr Merriden,’ she said, leaning to give him a hug. Hugging would definitely be deemed bad protocol, but Jake was reluctant to step away, given how upset she was. ‘Emily is a lucky woman,’ she added, easing away herself after a second to pick up her bag.
Jake hid a rueful smile as he followed her to the door to open it for her. He doubted Emily was thinking herself lucky right now. He had no idea what her thinking was, apart from the fact that she clearly thought he was the biggest bastard that walked the earth.
‘Take care,’ he said, making sure to offer Zoe a reassuring smile as she left.
Going back to his desk, he debated for a second, and then decided to take the bull by the horns and ask Emily to come into his office. He would never normally do that unless he needed a female present for patient examination purposes. Usually he would go out to reception, but he was desperate to talk to her on her own, out of earshot of the kids, and try to establish what evidence she had to back up her accusations. At least then he would have some idea what he was dealing with. Right now, he had no clue. Or what to do about it. Everything he said seemed to make the situation worse. His emotions were all over the place, see-sawing between bewildered and bloody petrified. What if he couldn’t convince her he wasn’t cheating on her? What then? It was true he’
d been neglecting his family lately, but they meant the world to him and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing them. Losing Emily. She’d been the one constant in his life. The only thing he’d kept going for at one point, when he’d felt that the dark cloud that dogged him was closing in on him. The nightmares had been relentless for years after his mother’s death, never a night where he didn’t relive the day he’d walked into the hall and his world had stopped turning. He’d never confided his fears to anyone but Emily, who’d always been there for him, always supportive. He needed to remind himself of that. He prioritised making time for his patients, to listen and try to read between the lines. He needed to do the same with his wife and attempt to put things right, if only she would let him.
His gut churning, as it had been since this whole thing started, he braced himself and picked up the phone.
Two minutes after he’d called through to reception, Emily appeared, looking cautious. She was looking good, he noticed, in leather boots with leggings. She was wearing make-up and her hair was in some sort of updo. It looked nice. He wanted to compliment her, but he really didn’t know how she would take that. It was as if he didn’t know her any more. She was like a different person. Whatever her thinking was, she was behaving strangely. She was clearly unwell, and he was worried.
Trust Me: An absolutely gripping and unputdownable psychological thriller Page 8
