Jake pressed a hand to his forehead. He felt like weeping. ‘This is ridiculous, Emily,’ he said throatily. ‘You’re wrong about Sally. She’s—’
‘I think you should go,’ Emily stopped him angrily.
She was looking at him now with something close to hatred, he noticed, feeling sick to his soul. ‘I’m not going anywhere, Emily,’ he said quietly. ‘Do you honestly think I would leave my children to this?’
Thirty-Two
Emily
Hearing no sound from Millie’s room, Emily pressed the handle down and inched the door open, then breathed out a sigh of relief when, clearly disgruntled at being disturbed, Millie burrowed further under her duvet.
‘You’ll be late,’ Emily warned her.
‘I have a free period,’ Millie mumbled and dug herself further in.
Emily didn’t think she did have a free period, but she decided not to push it. On top of the devastating argument she’d had with Jake, she couldn’t face another one with her daughter. She would have to try to have another talk with her. Apologise for seeming to not trust her. Jake was right: she would have to allow her to make her own mistakes. She couldn’t wrap her up in cotton wool. Millie was feisty, strong-headed – a teenager with her own views and her own life to lead. All Emily could do was pray she would stay safe and be happy. That was all she wanted for her.
Closing the door quietly, she went downstairs in search of Ben, worrying about him as she always did. He’d clearly overheard the row she and Jake had had, judging by his sullen expression when she’d passed him on the landing last night, and his reluctance to say very much other than that he was tired and going to bed.
Seeing him heading for the front door as she reached the hall, she hurried down the last few steps. ‘Ben?’
He stopped and turned back.
‘Are you all right?’ she asked, knowing he wasn’t.
Ben nodded. ‘Is it true?’ His eyes flicked angrily to hers. ‘Is Dad having an affair with Sally?’
Emily hesitated. ‘I don’t know, Ben, not for sure,’ she answered cautiously, and then decided it was better he knew. At least some of it. He would find out eventually, just as she had. And then he might possibly be angry with her for not being honest with him. ‘They’re obviously close. They did have a relationship, a while back apparently, before we were married.’
Ben considered. ‘Right,’ he said at length, ‘so they just had a shag for old times’ sake then?’ His tone was one of loathing, his eyes furious as he spun around to yank the front door open.
Emily went after him as he stalked out. ‘Ben, wait. Don’t go off upset.’
‘I’m not,’ he retorted without looking back. ‘Just do me a favour and tell him I don’t want anything to do with him, yeah?’
Emily stopped, her heart sinking as she watched him stride away, and then dropping like a stone to the pit of her stomach when Fran rounded the gates. She’d forgotten it was her day to come in and clean.
‘He’s got one on him, hasn’t he?’ Fran observed, a disapproving look on her face as she nodded after Ben.
‘He’s fine,’ Emily lied, her voiced strained. ‘He’s just deep in thought about his next project.’
‘Still, he could have said hello,’ Fran couldn’t resist adding.
Gritting her teeth, Emily tried to ignore her.
‘You’re late going in again, aren’t you?’ Fran observed as she followed her towards the house.
She’d obviously noticed that Emily was still in her pyjamas. Her red-rimmed eyes, too; the eagle-eyed cow couldn’t have failed to notice those. Cautioning herself not to lose it and tell her where to stuff her observations, Emily turned back to her. ‘Actually, Fran, I went a bit mad cleaning yesterday. I don’t really think there’s that much to do.’
‘Oh.’ Fran furrowed her brow. ‘You’re not dissatisfied with my services, I hope,’ she said, looking put out.
‘No, Fran.’ Emily gave her a short smile. ‘It’s just that it seems a bit pointless, so you might as well take some time off. I’ll still pay you, of course.’
Fran nodded, placated somewhat, but she had a cagey look in her eye. ‘As long as you don’t have any complaints,’ she said. ‘You have made one or two comments at the surgery in the past – in front of other people, I might add – which I found quite hurtful.’
Yes, because you were doing more gossiping than working. Emily felt bad, nevertheless. ‘I’m sorry, Fran,’ she said. ‘It was wrong of me to reprimand you in public. It won’t happen again.’
Fran nodded once more, a pious look now on her face as she accepted the apology. ‘I do take pride in my work, you know,’ she said. ‘I consider it crucial to the running of the surgery, even if other people do look down their noses at it. Germs breed germs, after all.’
‘It is,’ Emily agreed. The woman might as well be quoting her. She’d always told Fran she was part of the team, that her job was as important to patient safety as theirs was. If only she would spend more time actually doing it, Emily would never have cause to have words with her.
‘It’s not been easy, you know, doing two jobs while bringing a child up on my own,’ Fran went on. Emily really wished she wouldn’t. She was feeling extremely nauseous, despite not letting a morsel past her lips she hadn’t prepared for herself.
‘Some of us don’t have … well, let’s just say the privileges in life others have.’
Emily’s jaw dropped. Fran was judging her when she couldn’t possibly know anything about her life. It was quite unbelievable. She was having a conversation on the drive in her pyjamas about her cleaner’s injured pride while her world was crumbling beneath her.
‘I’m not looking down my nose, Fran. I appreciate what you do,’ she assured her with forced patience. ‘I just don’t need you this morning. I’ll pay you, obviously, as I said. Now, I’d better get on. As you pointed out, I’m running a bit late.’
Drawing in a deep breath, she waited, wondering whether it might occur to Fran that she might have her own problems to deal with.
‘Well, as long as you’re sure. I don’t want rumours going around that I don’t do my job properly.’
‘No,’ Emily said weakly. She wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.
‘As it happens, I could do with going into the surgery at lunchtime rather than this evening.’ Fran checked her watch, and then looked Emily over pointedly. ‘I was hoping to catch Tom and have a quick word with him about something.’
Yes, and if Tom’s worried looks and tendency to walk in the other direction every time he noticed Fran heading in his were anything to go by, he wouldn’t want to be caught.
‘Righto. See you later.’ Emily twirled back towards the house before she was tempted to remind Fran that her contract actually stipulated times and hours to be worked. She’d contemplated not going in today. Since Jake had levelled such serious accusations at her, she didn’t think there was any point. But then, in meekly bowing out of his life, she would be smoothing the way for Sally, wouldn’t she? She had no intention of doing that. Sally had never seen her as anything but amenable. It was time she knew there was another side to her. A side that, if pushed, could be just as viciously calculating as Sally was herself.
Fran was already in, flicking her mop around reception, when Emily finally arrived, having tried to make herself presentable. She hadn’t bothered trying to emulate Sally’s perfectly made-up, flirtily sexy look, ditching the leggings and boots in favour of a smart slip dress that was reasonably figure-hugging. Her make-up was minimal in keeping with her desire to appear professional. Jake probably thought she would be too embarrassed to show her face. But he was wrong. She’d worked side by side with him for years, helping him build up this practice. This was her job. If he wanted her to leave, he would have to sack her.
Sailing through the reception area to her desk, she gave Fran a nod and then smiled brightly at Nicky. ‘Afternoon,’ she said.
‘Afternoon.’ Nicky looked at her uncerta
inly. ‘Are you feeling better?’
‘Much,’ Emily assured her, parking her bag under her desk, and turning to slide out of her jacket.
‘Ooh, I like the dress,’ Nicky said, sounding like her usual self, to Emily’s relief. She’d imagined that the gossip would be rife. ‘Very smart. Love the colour.’
‘Thanks, Nicky.’ Emily appreciated it. She knew powder blue suited her, enhancing her eyes, which were probably her best feature. She felt a deep pang of sadness as she recalled how Jake had once said how much he loved them. There’d been nothing but seething anger in his own eyes the last time he’d looked at her.
‘Definitely an improvement on the pyjamas,’ Fran commented, her ears pricking up. ‘I don’t know how you managed to get dressed and get here so quickly.’
‘With practice,’ Emily said, very aware that Fran was desperate to advertise that she’d been in a state of undress on her drive not so long ago. She thanked God it was lunchtime and there were no patients waiting in reception. The colour of her pyjamas would be common knowledge by teatime.
‘Have you heard the latest?’ Nicky lowered her voice as Emily sat down at her PC, about to pull up the drug orders.
Emily braced herself. ‘No,’ she said, her eyes on her screen.
Nicky waited a second, watching Fran as she disappeared towards Tom’s office. Then: ‘They didn’t find anything,’ she whispered. ‘The police. They haven’t checked Tom’s printer yet, but they haven’t been able to match up any of the other printers.’
Emily felt a huge surge of relief run through her. She’d thought Nicky was about to say something about the medication Jake claimed had gone missing. He clearly hadn’t mentioned it to anyone else. But why wouldn’t he have? Her relief was short-lived as she considered that it was probably because he had made up his mind that she was responsible and wasn’t sure what to do about it.
‘They haven’t been able to get any forensics either,’ Nicky went on with a sigh. ‘No fingerprints on the letters or envelopes, no handy CCTV footage of anyone posting letters though doors. I heard them talking to Jake. He’s obviously worried sick, isn’t he? He’s been walking around with a permanent frown …’ She trailed off as Jake himself appeared, frowning pensively, as Nicky had said, his complexion pale and looking so exhausted that, even with what was happening between them and the awful things he’d said to her, Emily felt for him.
Coming around the desk, he smiled at her. A short smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He looked distracted, uncomfortable. Emily willed back the tears that stung her eyes. She couldn’t function if she was permanently crying. She wasn’t sure she would ever function properly again. ‘Okay?’ he asked her, his expression a combination of sadness and regret.
He could never feel as awful as she did. She felt as if he were slowly ripping her heart from inside her. ‘Yes, thanks,’ she said, arranging her face into a smile.
He nodded and plunged his hands in his pockets. ‘I had a call from Sally,’ he said awkwardly. ‘She’s going to be off for a while.’
‘Oh no.’ Nicky looked up at him worriedly. ‘Is she poorly?’
Emily glanced down. Knowing why Sally was off, and learning that she’d communicated directly with Jake rather than just ringing in sick, she felt almost bereft. ‘I’m just off to make tea,’ she said, swallowing back her tears as she heaved herself to her feet. ‘Anyone want one?’
‘No,’ she heard Nicky say behind her. ‘Thanks, I’ve just had one.’
Tom’s door was open as she passed it, Fran’s tones drifting from inside his office. Emily didn’t need to guess what the topic of conversation was. ‘… She’s usually so efficient, as well, always here on the dot up until recently.’ She heard the tail end of Fran’s remark and guessed she was filling Tom in on the terrible pyjama crime. ‘Are they going through a bit of a rough patch?’
Tom had obviously picked up on the prying edge to her tone. ‘I’ve no idea, Fran. It’s really none of our business, is it?’ he replied curtly, to his credit.
Fran was silent for a minute, astoundingly. Then: ‘There’s no need to be quite so sharp, Tom,’ she said, evidently put out. ‘I was only enquiring.’
‘Yes, so I gathered.’ Tom sighed knowingly. ‘I don’t have the inclination or the time to chat about other people’s problems, though. I have patients due.’
‘I see,’ Fran answered, after another pause. ‘You never do have time to chat, do you, Tom? Considering how close we once were, I find that quite hurtful.’
Close? Fran and Tom had had a relationship? Emily’s eyes widened with surprise. It seemed they might well have done. Was that what her comment about privileges had been about? Edward was obviously right. The woman was jealous. Of her. She had everything, after all, didn’t she? A well-paid job. A marriage to a handsome doctor who in everyone else’s eyes was a good man, caring, faithful. She was living the luxurious life Fran had imagined for herself. Emily was almost tempted to put her right.
Thirty-Three
Jake
Reading over the text he’d typed, Jake hesitated before sending it. Telling Emily he was spending the night at the surgery would only make the situation between them worse. Could it get any worse, though? he wondered despairingly. Doubtless she wouldn’t believe he was here anyway, probably imagining he was off with another woman. However, he’d found out today that the CCTV at the back of the office had been tampered with, indicating that someone was possibly entering the premises at night, so he didn’t have any other choice but to watch and wait and hope he would catch them in the act. There was no sign of a forced entry, so whoever it was had a set of keys. It clearly wasn’t Emily taking medication from the safe, he now realised, once again bitterly regretting having accused her. If she’d wanted to do that, she had many opportunities when she was here on her own. She would have no reason to sneak in out of hours. She’d been forgetful, unable to concentrate even before the trouble between them – Jake’s gut twisted as he reminded himself that that might have something to do with the drugs she’d been ingesting. It was feasible therefore that someone had taken her keys and copied them without her knowing.
Sighing, he hit send, guessing she wouldn’t reply. He’d texted her earlier asking how she was. She hadn’t responded. He wished she would talk to him, if only in a professional capacity. Now that they’d eliminated all conceivable sources of the drug, disposing of any vitamins she’d been taking at home and at the surgery, writing out a new prescription for her iron tablets, and making sure she only swallowed food and drink she’d prepared for herself, she would be going through withdrawal symptoms: aches and pains, mood swings, poor sleep, feeling that people were out to get her – him, mainly – even hallucinations. She would be terrified dealing with that on her own, which was all thanks to him.
Taking her aside after delivering her blood sample, he’d asked her if she wanted any medication to help ease the symptoms of coming off amphetamines. She’d refused – she couldn’t trust her GP, after all, could she? Christ, he wished he’d handled things better, taken a step back and looked at things less emotively. He’d said she was being paranoid. She was. It was obvious why now, but his reaction hadn’t helped. He’d immediately been defensive, which could only have fuelled her fears, and he’d made some brutal accusations. He was losing her. Because of his own inexcusable behaviour, his world was disintegrating. He would lose his kids too, the only family he’d felt he’d ever had. His gut wrenched as he felt it again, the loneliness that had been his constant companion until he’d met Emily, the woman he’d felt safe opening up to, the woman he loved. He always had. There didn’t seem any way to convince her of that now. She was deeply suspicious of him. He couldn’t escape the fact that she was right to be.
Checking his phone in the hope of a reply and finding none, he sighed in despair and toyed with the idea of ringing Ben and asking him to check on her; then decided against it. His son wasn’t busting a gut to speak to him either. He’d rejected his two previous calls,
making his point succinctly. Jake didn’t blame him. He was very aware of the bewilderment and anger Ben would be feeling, the impotency of watching his parents’ marriage disintegrate and knowing there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Not sure whether Millie would be keen to talk to him either, he debated for a second, then braced himself and called her. He was surprised when she answered. ‘Hey,’ he said uncertainly. ‘How’s things?’
‘Not great,’ Millie replied bluntly. ‘Not likely to be, really, are they?’
Jake’s heart dropped. What else had he expected her to say? ‘Not out with the boyfriend tonight then?’ he asked, careful to keep any hint of disapproval from his voice. He had no idea who it was she was seeing, and despite telling Emily she was overreacting, that she should allow Millie to make her own mistakes, he’d been quietly worrying. Emily had said he was older. Jake had begun to wonder how much older. And how long Millie had been seeing him. If it was serious, it had occurred to him also to wonder why they knew nothing about him. DS Regan obviously hadn’t contacted her yet. Jake was pretty sure Millie would have shared that information if she had.
‘No. Did you want to speak to Mum?’ She cut the subject dead, sending a ripple of apprehension down his spine. ‘She’s lying down so her phone’s probably off. I could go and get her if you like.’
‘No, don’t disturb her. She’s still struggling with this viral infection,’ Jake lied, for Emily’s sake. He doubted she would want the kids to know about the amphetamines. ‘Could you give her a message for me? I texted her but she might not have seen it.’
‘Shoot,’ Millie said.
‘Could you tell her that in light of the possible break-ins here, I’m spending the night at the surgery?’
Millie went quiet. ‘Break-ins?’ she repeated curiously after a second.
Trust Me: An absolutely gripping and unputdownable psychological thriller Page 21
