I discovered her through our mutual friend Cary Hokama. Dr. Ato appeared on Cary’s podcast in August 2016. Also at just the right time. I might not have ever befriended her if the sting of rejection caused her to give up or think the right time had passed her by. You have to create the right story when you face rejection and believe it’s an opportunity for you to go in another direction.
In 2016 I thought I wanted to begin speaking more often. I’ve enjoyed being on panels and hosting events. To me, it was the natural next step in my career. However, when conferences came up, I was never chosen to be a speaker. It felt like a crushing blow, and naturally I blamed myself for the rejection. Eventually I gave up and thought maybe speaking wasn’t right for me. Now I know it wasn’t for me, but for reasons I couldn’t have known yet. If I had been chosen to speak at any of those events, I couldn’t have traveled the world in 2017!
Sometimes we fear rejection so much that we feel rejected without reason. No one can reject you if you don’t ask for what you want. If your consultation process never makes an ask to work with your potential client, it’s not rejection. You simply had a nice informational chat.
Many virtual assistants have told me they don’t like asking for money. That’s understandable. However, you’re not simply asking for money. You’re not selling raffle tickets or magazine subscriptions. You are providing a service for which you should be paid. This isn’t volunteer work. When you are working with your ideal clients and providing exactly what they want, they are happy to pay you.
You are the answer to someone’s need. There is nothing wrong with getting paid to fill the need. You got paid as an employee for serving and meeting the needs of others. Now you are doing the same for your own clients. What pain will they thank you for taking away? So first things first, ask.
You should only ask your ideal clients. If you ask 50 of the wrong potential clients, you might get one “yes.” It won’t feel good though. That law of averages will be very draining. It also doesn’t help you. Even when you don’t earn new business, you should learn something from the experience. The wrong clients won’t have any useful feedback to share with you, yet it won’t stop them from sharing. If you’re going to get 49 “no’s,” you had better learn a lot of lessons! I can promise you that getting 49 rejections from the right clients is easily fixed!
Create a game plan for how you are going to deal with rejection. I like to think of it as a resiliency plan. Resiliency allows people to bounce back quickly after setbacks. How do you become more resilient? Keep good company. There once was a time when rejection seemed like my shadow. I was able to keep getting out of bed and keep going—when in the back of my mind I was wondering how much more rejection I could take—by surrounding myself with women who supported me. They challenged me to keep trying and gave me tips on what I could do differently. These women shared their own stories with me. Ultimately, these women laughed and celebrated with me. I don’t know where I’d be today if not for them.
Figure out what you have learned from the rejection. There is always something to learn. When you learn something, rejection can be a gift. In fact, being rejected is how I created the business I have now. If not for meeting so many people who didn’t need my VA services, I never would have known they needed my matchmaking services instead. These were my 49 “no’s” from the right clients. Lesson learned. Problem solved!
Goal Setting
Salespeople and business owners have goals. You’re both a salesperson and a business owner, so you need to have goals as well. They are your goals. No one else’s. Don’t dream of fancy cars, boats, and vacation homes if that is not your desire. Few things are worse than killing yourself to make someone else’s dream your reality.
In the beginning I was told to list out my financial goals but to start with no less than six figures. We already had a problem. I’d never made six figures in my life. I was struggling to make ends meet, and I was told that six figures should be my goal? Why don’t I just add a unicorn to my Christmas list too?
Goals are for you. You have to believe, in the midst of doubt and fear, that what you want is absolutely achievable. You have to be willing to work harder and take calculated risks because your goals are that important to you. Your actions have to be tied to a real goal not a pipe dream.
When I got honest with myself and knew exactly what I believed I was capable of, it changed the course of my business. Not only was it easier, it became easy. All of a sudden, I couldn’t imagine not getting paid what I was worth because I wouldn’t have taken any office job for less. Why in the world would I work for myself for less? Suddenly I realized I had been thinking backwards.
Goal setting can be very powerful when done right. When done wrong, it becomes demoralizing. When you set your goals, they should be very specific and they should light a fire in you. You become bound and determined to make them a reality. Not only was making six figures at the time seemingly impossible, but $100,000 represented nothing to me. Even today when I think about how much money I want to make, it’s only after I know where the money will be coming from and how it will be used in both my business and my personal life.
I have no desires for cars or homes and felt such relief when I got rid of both to travel the world. Traveling the world wasn’t always a dream for me. In fact, most of my life I was terrified to fly. Once I realized I was no longer afraid to fly, the first thing I did was apply for my passport. That was in May of 2015. In June 2015 my passport was delivered, and I began planning the trip of a lifetime to Nice, France, for the Monaco Grand Prix in 2016.
I was very specific as I planned it all out. I didn’t simply dream of going one day. When I began planning the trip a year in advance, I wasn’t even earning what I do today. However, I knew I was going to make it work somehow, and I did. Nothing was charged to debt, and the trip was paid for before I left. I had even calculated my spending money.
When you’re taking the right steps toward your goals, you’ll open yourself up to more than you ever thought. My first international trip turned out not to be to Nice in May 2016. Instead it happened five months earlier in December 2015 when I spent New Year’s Eve in London. I even got to fly first class! When my goal became to take my first international trip, international travel also became a gift.
Only two international trips in and that was it—my goals changed again. I didn’t want to travel internationally once or possibly twice a year. I wanted to travel constantly. I wanted to make it my next goal more than anything. Eventually I discovered We Roam, an organization that coordinates trips around the world for people like me—remote workers who love to travel. After only three months of making this my new goal, I became a part of We Roam’s first group to travel the world for a year while working. The tour was 12 countries in 12 months, and I managed to sneak in a few extra for a total of 16 countries in a single year! That’s the power of goal setting. And this all happened while I experienced another record year in business.
Your goals shouldn’t be like mine unless they already are. When I first started, all I wanted was to be at home when my daughter needed me. It was fantastic. I was able to be with my family in all situations. That was my dream, and I made it come true. After becoming an empty nester, my goals changed. And my goals have continued to change. The point is you cannot want someone else’s dream for yourself.
Think about your goals. Write down at least three—one immediate, one short-term, and one long-term. Next write a dollar amount by each one. How much money will it take to accomplish each goal? Don’t guess; be very specific. If your dream is buying a new car, research it and figure out exactly what it will cost, even including insurance. If your dream is to send your children to a private school or to pay their college tuition, determine what that tuition is, calculate book fees and other miscellaneous costs, uniforms, and even transportation costs. After you have done this work, then you can begin to believe in the prices you’ll charge for your services.
/> Negotiations
One of the most common suggestions to help with every aspect of your business is to survey your clients and customers. Easier said than done. Companies spend millions trying to get their hands on surveys and data and then sift through it properly. You probably don’t have an email list yet to survey. So how can you survey the exact people you need to? Through negotiations.
You’ve priced your services, you’re making sales, and then there are negotiating opportunities. I actually really like negotiating. I don’t change my prices. However, based on what my clients have tried to negotiate, I learned that they needed more options. Negotiating with them on services and pricing allowed me to create tiered options. It’s another instance when your ideal clients will tell you everything you need to know.
There are several rules to successful negotiations. First, always look for the win-win situation. If you’re trying to come out on top, that’s not negotiating. That’s competing. Few people are more competitive than I. However, if you’re winning in business, you have to ask yourself who is losing. My clients aren’t losers. I don’t compete with them. Negotiate with your clients so you both can be winners.
Negotiations are another crucial way to learn more about your ideal client—what they want, what they will pay for, and how you can better position yourself to meet their needs. Through consultation discussions, you’ll know what your clients want and need. Don’t assume they are negotiating your price. This is a common mistake. Also, don’t assume the client will know how to begin negotiations. You may have to begin the process.
Let’s say your potential client really wants to work with you, and you really want to work with them. Your calendar isn’t full of clients yet, so you can be flexible. After the consultation, your potential client tells you he or she doesn’t have the money to pay for your services or can’t afford you. These are cues to continue the conversation.
If they don’t have the money, it means their business isn’t off the ground yet. Or they could be waiting on a few contracts to come in. Don’t assume. Ask which it is. Then suggest a date and a time to follow up in the future, hopefully at a time when they will have more cash flow.
If they can’t afford you, ask what they were expecting to pay. If it’s not even in the ballpark, ask if they would pay more if they could afford it. You need to be a bit bold because you’ll never have the opportunity to ask such important questions to a more perfect audience.
It’s rare you’ll get an actual figure of what the client was expecting to pay. At this point, you probably haven’t created your tiered services, which is completely normal. It’s only after you go through many consultations and negotiations that you know what sells and what doesn’t. However, any information a potential client gives you can be used to your advantage.
I have three tiered options for matchmaking. The two lower packages only solidify my top tier package. In the end, what the client said they wanted, they actually didn’t. They just didn’t know it until I laid it out and told them how much work they’d be doing.
When you negotiate down, you can only lower your price if you lower your services. In some instances, this will be exactly what your client is looking for. In other cases, once the client knows what they won’t be getting, they’ll opt to figure out how to afford you. Never lower your price and keep the services the same. You’ll dig yourself a hole you can’t get out of, also known as a grave.
There is always the chance the client is misunderstanding their needs and what you provide. During the negotiation process, make sure the client speaks more than you do. Keep track of what they’re saying. Repeat back what you heard and weave your services into the conversation appropriately. One use of a word or different verbiage on your part could lead them down the wrong path. Using the client’s own verbiage is the quickest way to get them on your side. The negotiation process will also help you refine how you speak with your ideal clients.
How do you know if you have negotiated successfully? Ask yourself how your client wins and how you win. If you can’t answer in a positive way for both of you, keep at it until you can.
Trust me, you will come across people who think they are going to pay you $7 an hour for all of your top-notch services. End that conversation immediately. Don’t entertain those types of conversations. It seems harsh, but you need to show value in every way possible. Continuing a conversation with someone who wants to pay you less than minimum wage shows you don’t value yourself. Remember, you don’t need the world to hire you; you only need a few clients. Throw that fish back.
Contracts
VAs use contracts to protect ourselves and our clients. But avoid using extremely negative verbiage. Think of your contract as a prenuptial agreement. You’re both excited to begin working together. You’ve got all the warm and fuzzy feelings. Now you’re sending documents that outline what’s yours and what’s theirs—all the breakup terms. Be mindful of what is standard contract verbiage and what is too much. You don’t want to scare the client and put them in a frame of mind that things will go wrong before they’ve even started working with you. If you feel that extra need to protect yourself, you probably shouldn’t begin working with this client.
Your contract should be a formality. It shouldn’t be the first place where your clients find out what you’ll do for them, what you won’t do for them, when and how they can reach you, your time-off policy, and how you get paid. Those conversations should take place when you and the client agree to work together. Your contract is simply a recap of what you’ve already spoken about together.
You can find many free contracts online through a variety of websites. However, I suggest connecting with your local chamber of commerce or city/state small business associations. They can serve as great resources to any new VA.
Three Ways to Gain Confidence as a Virtual Assistant
Being a business owner is a lot like dating. I like to use dating as a metaphor because it’s all about attracting and building relationships with the right people and getting rid of the duds. Whether or not you’re in the dating phase of life, it’s something we all can relate to. And we’ve all seen someone go about it the wrong way. Here are three ways to improve your confidence level as a new VA:
Believe in what you’re selling. When you’re dating, through your actions you try to show the other person what a great catch you are. If you spend the entire date talking about all of your flaws or worse, you share what others thought your flaws were, the person probably isn’t going to ask you out again. The same is true in business. If you start out by saying you haven’t been doing this for very long, you hope things work out, you share your bad client stories, and you tell me you aren’t very busy, I’m not likely to call again either. People want to date and do business with people who are in demand. Period.
Believe in your value. If someone takes you to McDonald’s for a date, how much do you think they value you? If you agree to eat there, how much do you value yourself? No one is going to treat you better than you treat yourself. The same is true with your clients. Some clients will try to pay you pennies for your work. Run as fast as you can from them! You don’t want them or their friends. Don’t engage in a conversation or even try to explain why you charge more. Build your confidence by remembering this client wants to date you at McDonald’s. It helps put things in perspective. Not everyone can afford your services, and that is fine. You’re still valuable. The goal is to find the clients who can afford you and to provide so much value that they’ll continue working with you in the future!
Believe in your most attractive quality. The Law of Attraction is real. We attract people who are like us. If you keep attracting the wrong client, think about the signals you are sending out. If they don’t want to pay your fees, are you somehow implying your services are cheap? Does your website or social media profiles scream “bargain basement?” Are you trying to attract filet mignon at Burger King? If your clients are too demanding and crossi
ng boundaries, have you positioned yourself to be their partner in business or do you portray yourself as a secretary from Mad Men? Your ideal client is drawn to you because you get them. Attract them by speaking their language in a way that only you can.
“Dating” potential clients can be rough in the beginning. And yes, you might have to go through some bad dates and bad clients. But your ideal one is out there!
Is Your Business Worth Your Time?
Starting a business doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t have to be, but it can often feel that way. Running a business requires you to do things you don’t want to do. Wearing multiple hats is a necessity that will challenge you in the most unexpected of ways. However, the most common challenge new virtual assistants experience is getting clients, otherwise referred to as sales.
It can be daunting to do the thing you absolutely despise the most—sales—when you need it the most to pay the bills and enjoy the freedom you dream of. The most common remedy VAs have to this problem is to get a part-time job. I understand the need to pay bills and take care of your family. But there is a flaw in this plan.
The flaw is your mental attitude. You see, you have just decided another person’s company is more important than your own. So much so that you are willing to devote to someone else the precious time you could be spending on phone calls, email messages, and networking with potential clients. Yes, you’ll get a paycheck, but you won’t create a business.
Getting clients is your number one priority when you first begin as a virtual assistant. Nothing is more important because clients keep you in business. Using the excuse that you’re not good at sales won’t cut it. When VAs tell me they’re struggling, one of the things I ask them is how much of their day is spent making calls, emails, and connections. Most often it is less than an hour a day. I’m sure it seems much longer because it is something they don’t enjoy doing, but if this is your business, shouldn’t it be worth your time?
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