by H. E. Edgmon
I didn’t steal the shoes because I liked the way they jingled. I was angry. I was sad and lonely and tired of being shoved in the corner by my mother, the child no one was supposed to see, or hear, or know. I wanted someone to look at me. I wanted someone to see me.
Still, I don’t correct Emyr.
“My first thought when I grabbed you was, Who does this little asshole think he is? But then... I looked into your face. And I really saw you for the first time. And I was drowning.”
I press my fingers deeper into the dirt.
“I barely had time to process what was happening before your mother caught up to us. She was livid. I thought she was going to hurt you. And all I can remember thinking is...if this woman raises a hand to him, I’ll kill her.”
It doesn’t slip my notice that he’s not misgendering me, even when relaying a story from the past. Most cis people have to be taught that. I guess I probably have Jin to thank for Emyr’s education. Or else he just gets it.
Either way, some part of me makes a note and tucks it away, unsure what to do with it right now.
He continues on, unaware of my internal scribbling. “I was barely bigger than you were. I didn’t have any idea how to fight. She could have picked me up and thrown me across the hall if she’d wanted. But I knew I’d do whatever I had to do to protect you. It was the only thing that mattered. And so there I was, all four feet of me, telling this grown woman to stand down.”
She had stood down, of course, because Emyr might’ve been a child but he was still the prince of the fae. And what he wanted mattered. It certainly mattered more than I did.
But that was only one moment in time. Emyr wasn’t always there. He couldn’t always protect me. Especially when he didn’t know what I needed protecting from.
“It didn’t matter that I didn’t know your name. It didn’t matter that we hadn’t spoken a single word to each other yet. I saw you, and everything in me shifted. I saw you, and it was like someone had pulled me to the cliff’s edge of my heart—and pushed me over.”
Briar grazes her fingers down my thigh, curling her hand around the back of my knee. “Like love at first sight?”
“No.” Emyr shakes his head, adamant. “No, I didn’t love him. I didn’t even like him. Because I didn’t know him. What I did know was that this insufferable, weird-ass child was suddenly the air I was breathing. I needed him. There was no going back.”
“We should head back to the palace.” I push myself to my feet and scrub my palms on my jeans.
The morghira has worn off. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
“Oh.” Briar frowns but stands up next to me. “Yeah, okay.”
Emyr clears his throat and joins us in the land of the vertical. “I’m staying out here tonight, but I’ll walk you back.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
He has the audacity to roll his eyes at me. “It’s late, and there are things a lot scarier than Boom in that forest. You’re a human and a witch who doesn’t practice magic. I’m walking you back.”
I don’t bother trying to argue. My head is filled with rocks. Maybe this is an aftereffect of the drugs. This is why people shouldn’t smoke.
Boom trots ahead of us as the last bits of sun finally disappear and we make our way back into the trees. It’s quiet, the only sounds our breathing and the woods rustling as they make way for our bodies.
The destroyed greenhouse comes into view, shards of glass reflecting the moonlight overhead.
Emyr freezes at my side. “What the fuck?”
“What the fuck indeed,” a too-familiar voice bites out.
From the other side of the debris, Tessa is standing with her hands on her hips, Wade at her side. She glares at me until I can’t feel the rocks in my head for her knife in my chest. “What the hell did you do?”
CHAPTER TWELVE
CURSE YOU THROUGH THE PHONE
“What makes you think this had anything to do with me?”
It isn’t the right question, and I know it isn’t the right question as soon as my sister’s eyebrows slowly rise toward her hairline, her expression somehow managing to be both utterly blank and radiating with hatred at once. That’s the face you see right before you get murdered, I think.
In this moment, she doesn’t look exactly like me anymore. Actually, she kind of looks like our mother.
“What. Did. You. Do.”
I open my mouth to tell her I’m pretty sure it’s obvious what I did, because if she wants to fight, we might as well knuckle up, but Emyr cuts me off.
“This was an accident.”
Like hell it was! And I don’t need him defending me, either! I am not the little shithead stealing the prince’s shoes anymore, and—
I flick my eyes toward Emyr’s face and, if Tessa looks like she’s thinking about murdering me, Emyr looks like he’s already mapping out where he’s going to bury my body.
Okay. So. Maybe I don’t argue with Emyr right now. Maybe I let him get me out of trouble with Tessa and then argue with Emyr later.
Tessa, meanwhile, has gone from glaring at me to staring at Emyr with her mouth hanging open. Next to her, Wade rolls his eyes and throws his hands up in exasperation, turning his back to us. It’s possible he’s having a conversation with the nearest tree. I really can’t say.
“How far are you willing to go to make excuses for him?” Tessa demands.
A nerve in Emyr’s jaw ticks. I think I know what he’s thinking. I think he’s thinking he doesn’t know yet, either. He doesn’t answer.
Briar pipes up. “It really was an accident. It was my fault. We were exploring. I got a little too curious. As soon as it happened, we went looking for Emyr to try and fix it.”
“You did this?” Tessa blinks at her, then gives one small, irate shake of her head. “You shouldn’t even be here. You need to go back where you came from before something worse happens.”
“Is that a threat, Tee?” I snap, baring my teeth.
My sister’s face shutters closed.
“Besides, Briar’s lying. She’s trying to protect me. I did it. You know how uncontrollable my magic is.”
Tessa’s face does not change, but I think, maybe, her wings pull in tighter to her spine.
“Enough!” Wade spins around on his heel, dangly earrings clinking together as he does. “Crofts, you can both stop swinging your silicone dicks around now. Tessa, Emyr, the two of you should be able to take care of this together. Yes?”
There is a single bulging vein that keeps jumping in Tessa’s temple. I watch it move like a dancing blue worm beneath the surface of her skin.
“Technically,” she finally bites out. The faintest lisp creeps into her voice as her tongue presses against the back of her fangs.
I’m not sure what they’re talking about for a single, suspended moment. And then lavender begins streaking its way from my sister’s fingertips up her hands, crawling up to her elbows. Her eyes illuminate like two pastel purple orbs, her wings stretching over her head and catching the rays of moonlight filtering through the tree branches.
When she lifts one palm, the soft glow of her energy stretches from the center of it, a single tendril of soft purple that floats out of her body and toward the remains of the greenhouse. When it reaches the pile of glass and plant carnage, it becomes a thin, translucent dome, taking up the space where the greenhouse stood hours before.
And then shards of glass begin floating up from the ground, shaking themselves free of the dirt and greenery, and piecing themselves together.
Briar gasps, very softly, at my side, reaching over and taking my hand. I squeeze.
I’ve seen Influencer magic before obviously. I’m more familiar with fae magic than I am with witch. But it never stops being kind of cool.
Not that I would tell Tessa that.
B
it by bit, the greenhouse comes together again, my sister’s purple energy sealing the individual pieces of glass together until they’re finally all fitted back into one. She lowers her arm and the lavender recedes, slipping back down and disappearing beneath her claws once more.
“Your move, Your Highness.”
You know how some people manage to say something really respectful but it totally sounds like eat shit and die? Tessa has mastered that art. So much so that Wade groans, as if she’s just spit in Emyr’s face.
Either Emyr does not notice her tone, or he simply does not intend to lower himself enough to care. He steps away from Briar and me, moving until he’s about a foot away from the glass half-bubble. Silently, he lowers himself to the ground, one knee connecting with the dirt, his wings billowing behind his body when he does.
Gold spills out of his talons and creeps up his arms. I can’t see his eyes from here, but I know they’re glowing golden, too. And then he reaches forward and sinks his fingers into the dirt, burying his hand in the soil.
Seconds later, a golden glow emanates from beneath the ground. It snakes away from Emyr’s hand and moves in a million tiny threads, like roots spreading beneath the greenhouse walls, inside of the barrier. The entire greenhouse lights up with a golden shimmer, as if a tiny, personal sun has just risen inside.
And then the plants—plants that were destroyed either when they were knocked out of place by their home being shattered or when they were crushed underneath my stomping feet—begin to...rise. Stems tremble up from the ground. Blossoms shake themselves awake. Vines slither out of hiding. With his Healing magic, Emyr breathes new life back into everything I ruined.
But it does not slip my notice that, even as the plants inside the greenhouse begin to heal, the forest around us seems to shrink away. The leaves on one tree branch shrivel up and fall, dead, to the ground.
Magic gives, and magic takes away.
Still, by the time Emyr pulls his hand from the dirt and turns back to us, the greenhouse looks as if it was never harmed at all. I can’t stop staring at Emyr’s body, long after the gold disappears and he’s only himself again.
Healers are more rare than Influencers, more rare than Feelers. Seeing one in action is not an everyday occurrence.
Seeing Emyr in action is not something I think I’ll ever get used to.
My teeth rattle when I realize my lips are parted, and I snap them shut.
He’s staring back at me with something inscrutable in his dark gaze. The anger seems to have been leached right out of him. Finally, in a tone of finality, our eyes still locked, he says, “No harm, no foul.”
Tessa does not try to hide her disdain when she answers for me. “This time.”
* * *
It’s very late at night when my phone dings on the bedside table. Briar is already asleep, soft snores blowing through her lips as she lies235 curled up against my side, her head on my shoulder. I’ve spent the last hour or so staring at the ceiling, trying to shut my thoughts off. Any excuse to grab my phone and provide my rabid brain with the immediate satisfaction of techy interaction is welcome.
My wallpaper’s a selfie of Briar and me back home, our faces smushed together, both of us smiling so big it looks like our cheeks might crack. It makes me smile every time I look at it.
I have three new messages. As soon as I open the thread, my heart sputters indignantly.
The first is a picture of Boom, lying in front of the closed door to Emyr’s cabin, as if waiting to be let outside.
UNKNOWN NUMBER
I think he’s waiting for you to come back.
This is Emyr.
I consider asking him how he got my number, but that feels like a pointless question. He’s the prince. Of course he could get my number if he wanted it.
Should I pretend to be asleep? It’s late enough to be believable.
But I’m bored. This is as good an excuse as any to avoid sleep for a little longer.
I save him as a new contact before messaging back.
poor guy. i’m very missable, after all.
he could come stay with me. plenty of room at the castle.
ROYAL PAIN
You are moderately missable.
He doesn’t like leaving the forest. I think the number of people at the palace make him uncomfortable.
mood.
What does moderately missable mean?
ROYAL PAIN
You’re up late. Are you and Briar having another adventure?
Another subtle accusation. I huff.
briar’s asleep. i’m having adventures with my other concubine.
ROYAL PAIN
There is another?
...joking, dude.
ROYAL PAIN
Oh.
Haha.
That was the most dry, unamused reaction I’ve ever read in my life. So much so that I can’t help but snort to myself in response. I roll onto my side, tucking my phone under the blanket so the light from the screen won’t wake Briar.
so, i go away for a little while and you give my dog anxiety.
ROYAL PAIN
I did not give him anxiety. Perhaps being abandoned by his other father gave him anxiety.
i would have taken him with me if i could.
ROYAL PAIN
What about me?
i guess you would have had to get a new dog.
ROYAL PAIN
No. I mean, would you have taken me with you if you could?
The question throws me off guard so hard my head spins. My stomach roils at the mere idea of doing even the barest amount of introspection required to answer that question honestly.
Would I have taken him with me? At the time, feeling the way I felt about him back then? We were fighting all the time; I wasn’t sure what to do with all the big emotions trapped in my body. It wasn’t really Emyr I was angry with, though. It was our circumstances. It was the kingdom. If I could’ve had Emyr, my best friend, away from the responsibilities and pressures of the Throne, would I have?
I refuse to think about it too long. I don’t want to get anywhere near those feelings.
you wouldn’t have come. responsibilities to the throne and all.
ROYAL PAIN
Back then, I might’ve been able to be persuaded.
what are you doing awake?
I don’t want to have this conversation. I refuse to keep it going.
ROYAL PAIN
Can’t sleep.
If you’re not having adventures with another concubine, what are you doing?
can’t sleep.
There is a horrifying moment when the little bubble appears to inform me he’s typing a new message that I think to myself, oh, shit, he’s going to ask me to meet up with him. What will he want to do? Dragon riding? Goblin watching? We could pick mushrooms from the pixie clusters, or take Boom for a walk near the creek a mile north of the castle. All things we used to do as kids.
Will I say yes? I mean, I don’t want to, not really, but it isn’t like I have anything better to do. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to climb out of bed and go see him again, just the two of us, getting—
His message comes through.
ROYAL PAIN
It appears you have trouble sleeping often. You always have dark circles under your eyes.
Oh, okay.
we can’t all afford a royal skin-care routine.
ROYAL PAIN
Are you implying I have nice skin?
Seconds later, another picture message comes through. Emyr’s face lights up my screen. He’s lying in the hammock in his cabin, one arm behind his head. He’s smiling, a coy sort of smile that doesn’t show off his dimples.
I swallow.
how do i curse you through the phone?
ROYAL PAIN
jin better watch out for a pickpocket.
ROYAL PAIN
Be careful, you don’t want to end up in the dungeon again.
eh. i always suspected prison might be where i wound up.
ROYAL PAIN
Keep pulling stunts like you did today, and you might just make good on that.
You did not actually intend to destroy it, did you?
does it matter?
ROYAL PAIN
Why wouldn’t it?
intention only exists in our heads.
ROYAL PAIN
It’s still important.
not to everyone.
ROYAL PAIN
You mean to Tessa.
Are we talking about the greenhouse, or are we talking about your parents?
we’re not talking about either.
ROYAL PAIN
Okay.
I take a deep breath, press my forehead against the screen, and close my eyes.
There are a lot of things I don’t want to talk about. I’d rather not think about them, either.
ROYAL PAIN
I’m not very fond of your sister.
lmao. mood.
ROYAL PAIN
I know there is pain there, between the two of you. But I can’t imagine not at least wanting to try to repair things. Especially when you are the only family the other has.
But you will have your own family. And she need not be part of it, if that’s what she wants.
please do not use this as a segue to talk to me about the
royal baby again. because i will seriously set your dick on
fire next time i see you if you do.
ROYAL PAIN
Oh, is that what you’re into?
EXCUSE ME?
There is absolutely zero possibility I am reading that message correctly.
