My pulse skittered. How many times had we met in this exact spot late at night? How many things had we done here during those meetings? I felt my face flame at the memories. It was also where he’d broken things off. Despite all the incredible memories we’d created here, that was the one that glared, stuck its tongue out, and made fun of me for still believing in inconceivable notions with a person clearly unfit to reciprocate them.
I let him lead me down to the shore, hanging back as he laid his jacket down as a makeshift blanket before he extended his hand to me. Only then did my feet move. I took a moment to take off my heels, letting my feet sink into the lukewarm sand as I walked over and sat on his jacket. He sat beside me with a sigh, uncorking the bottle of wine.
“I had forgotten how clear the sky was out here.” I buried my hands into the sand behind me and leaned back. It truly was a work of art. One of the paintings that Freddie had put on display was of Orion, not that anyone would know it without my explaining it to them, as messy as it was. “I guess we forget a lot of things when we step out of our comfort zone.”
“Or remember them,” he said. The bottle popped. The liquid pouring into the plastic cups followed. “I think that was the thing that surprised me most about being away for so long. I was always surrounded by people, by noise, and I realized how much I missed the silence of this place.”
I smiled, sitting upright to look at him as he handed me my cup. “You never appreciated silence.”
“I didn’t appreciate a lot of things until they were no longer around.”
“You can’t say things like that, Ro.”
“Why not?” He inched closer, tapping his cup to mine.
We held each other’s gazes as we took our first sips. What was I supposed to say? That I liked him too much? That he broke my heart when he ended things? I swallowed back all of my emotions and stuck to the safe bet.
“Because it sends mixed signals. I’m either just someone you hook up with, or I’m not.”
“You’ve never been just anyone to me. You know that.”
“I don’t.”
“You were my best friend.”
I scoffed, turning my attention to the water ahead.
“You were.”
“Yeah, well, maybe we should have stayed friends.”
He shifted closer, dropping his lips onto my bare shoulder. “Do you really feel that way?”
God, no. He bit my shoulder lightly, and I stifled back a moan. I definitely didn’t feel that way. I wanted him with every molecule of my existence despite it all. Because of it all. Who even knew anymore? When it came to Rowan, it was as if my brain was stuck in overdrive all the time, not wanting to take breaks out of fear of what it might miss out on. It was dangerous territory, the kind where you knew you needed to hit the brakes and slow down but couldn’t because they were malfunctioning.
“We shouldn’t do this again,” I whispered, meeting his gaze. His face was close to mine, his lips close to mine. I wanted him to disagree with me. To counter my statement with one of his own.
“I know.”
“I’m leaving.”
“I know.” He leaned in, pressed his lips against mine lightly, and then moved to my cheek, my eyelid.
“I’m not going to let anything stop me from getting out of here,” I breathed.
“I would never stop you.”
My heart hammered, but when he kissed me again and pressed his hand onto my breast, his fingers stroking slowly, I threw caution to the wind and gave into the temptation.
When we’d come here as teenagers, it was always pitch black out. In the years that had passed, the town had installed lamps every ten feet, and even though we weren’t directly beneath any, the soft orange glow of the light bathed us as I straddled him. He unzipped my dress purposely slowly, dragging his fingers down my back along with the zipper. I gasped, arching against him, closing my eyes as my body began to tremble with raw need. He leaned forward, hands cupping my ass, and pressed open-mouthed kisses down my neck.
“Tessa.” My name was a groan on his lips as he brought his hands up and unveiled me, discovering that I wasn’t wearing a bra. He opened his eyes and met my gaze quickly before cupping my breasts, positioning my pert nipples into his mouth and licking, sucking, nipping. I ground against him again, needing the release the large tent in his pants was sure to bring.
“I’ve been dreaming about this since your car broke down.” He breathed the secret against my chest, bringing his hands between my legs and hooking my underwear aside. The moment he pressed his thumb against my clit, I dug my fingers into his hair and threw my head back with a moan.
“Don’t stop,” I whispered.
He slid his fingers inside me, his thumb working my clit while his mouth teased my nipples. I felt my core tighten.
“You look so goddamn beautiful when you let yourself be like this,” he said, dragging his lips to my throat and finally, pressing them against my own. “I love you like this.”
My eyes widened on his, but I kept grinding, kept up the rhythm his fingers had presented me with, faster, matching my rapidly beating heart.
“Please don’t stop.”
“Never.” He brought his face down to my chest again, his fingers increasing the movement between my legs. “I plan on never stopping. I’m going to cherish this body of yours for as long as you let me.”
Each word from his mouth brought a new embarrassing sound from my lips that I wished I could control. I was aware of the state we were in—him fully clothed, me almost completely naked, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I was on a rollercoaster and all I could do was brace myself for whatever came next. Everything inside me tightened when his lips fell upon my breasts again. His fingers worked me like strings of a guitar, strumming each chord into something intricate and magical.
“That’s it, baby. Let go.” He urged, but I was already there.
My heart seized, but my body went thrashing against him, and I screamed his name until I found that place in my mind where no thoughts occurred, only feelings, and that was when I let myself fall.
Chapter Nineteen
Tessa
I woke to the sound of my phone vibrating on my dresser. It took me a second, but I opened my eyes, blinking at the light pouring into my room and turning over on my side. Then I remembered. Rowan. We’d gotten frisky and tipsy, or at least I had, and he brought me home and stayed the night. We didn’t have sex. But we did so many other things that drove me completely crazy. I thought of the way his lips made their way down my naked body and the way he teased me with his tongue until I screamed his name so loud I was sure the entire neighborhood would hear it. I’d returned the favor and once we were spent, we fell asleep, his heavy, muscled arm around me, his lips on my shoulder. I sighed and answered my brother’s second phone call in two minutes.
“How’d it go?” he asked.
“The turnout was great.” I cleared my throat. “I left toward the end, but there were still a lot of people looking around.”
“Colleen called to say seven of the paintings sold.”
“Seven?” I sat up straighter. “That’s incredible.”
“They’ll leave them up through the weekend just in case,” he said. “Seven is pretty major.”
“So major.” I smiled wide. “Congrats.”
“Thanks. Do you think you’d be able to go by there and sign off on some things on my behalf? Colleen always emails it to me, but it’s always much smoother if someone’s there to sign off on things. It’ll make the process much faster.”
“That’s fine. When would I have to go in? Today?”
“No, not until they take everything down and start to package.”
“Let me know.”
“Thanks, Tess.”
“Any time.”
He paused. “Anything on the house yet?”
“The agent listed it.”
“So, it’s a waiting game now,” he said, exhaling into the line. “Have you de
cided? New York or Paris?”
“Nope.”
“The answer is so obvious to everyone except you.”
“Why? Because Mom’s over there?” I rolled my eyes. “You know, she doesn’t live in Paris.”
“Doesn’t matter, Tess. You’re literally a hop away from the city. Freaking Paris? When will you ever get to say you did that?”
He was right, of course, but still. I loved New York, no matter what anyone said about it. I threw the sheets off and stood on wobbly legs. My muscles were sore. Everything was sore. I smiled.
“Let me know about the papers. I’ll be around.”
We said our goodbyes, and I tossed my phone onto the bed before grabbing my terry cloth robe on my way to the bathroom. I wondered when Rowan went home. Was he even staying at his parents’ old house or did he have his own place? We’d never really gotten around to talking about that . . . or much, really. My face heated at the thought of everything we did. A part of me was disappointed that he left, but I shook the emotion away before it got the better of me. Regardless of what did or didn’t happen last night, I had enough on my plate and there wasn’t any room for me to worry about Rowan and his feelings or lack thereof. The image of Camryn and her smeared lipstick filled my mind like a dark cloud, threatening to take over my mood. I swatted it away as I stepped into the shower, but all it did was prance around from afar.
After I showered, I threw on my bathing suit, one of my brother’s old Air Force t-shirts that I used for the gym, and headed downstairs. In the kitchen, I grabbed a banana and water bottle before going out back. I inhaled the familiar scent of pine and woods as I passed the pool and headed toward the lake. It was sad that I wouldn’t have this anymore. Soon, I’d leave it all behind, start my real adult life, and only visit Grandma Joan when I could find the time. With how ridiculously expensive international flights were, if I chose Paris, I wouldn’t be able to just hop on a plane and come visit Grandma Joan whenever I wanted.
I neared the end of the forest and nearly tripped over my feet when I saw Rowan standing there, hands on his hips as he looked at the water in front of him as if he were some kind of explorer trying to come up with a name for his new discovery. I stood for a moment, staring at his massive back and the scratch marks I’d left on his shoulders.
“I thought you left.”
He turned around, facing me with a smile that made my heart stop for a beat.
Don’t be that girl, Tessa. Don’t be the woman whose heart stops at the sight of a man just because you’ve seen each other naked.
I pushed on and closed the distance between us, my heart stuttering when his arm curved around me and his lips came down on mine in a slow, toe-curling kiss. He pulled away slowly and searched my face, eyes twinkling.
“You thought I would leave?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged, tearing my gaze from his in hopes to hide my blush, knowing I’d failed at the latter when I heard him chuckle.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush.”
“Shut up.”
“Oh my god,” he said, voice full of amusement I was not about to partake in. “This is what it takes to embarrass you?”
“Shut up.” I groaned, side-stepping him and walking toward his canoe. He laughed harder and wrapped an arm around my middle, pulling my back flush against his chest. His mouth came down to my ear.
“Always running away from me.”
“Always chasing me away,” I whispered back, heart pounding.
He kissed the top of my head, dropped his arm, and started to walk ahead of me. I tried not to dwell on how bereft I felt without the feel of his touch on me and followed behind. He climbed in, legs slightly apart to balance out the wading of the canoe, and held his hand out to help me step in. He’d placed a white tablecloth on the little seat and a small pillow on either end. There was a basket and two strips of pine needles. I plucked them from the makeshift table, willing my heart to stop racing. He’d put together a picnic for me. For us.
“Those are your flowers,” he said. I glanced up at him as a small smile tugged at my lips. “Did I do this right? I can usually tell when you like something, but you aren’t saying anything, and you look like you’re about to start crying.”
“I just wasn’t expecting this.” I made myself blink rapidly. God. Is this what love felt like? No. I shook the thought away and brought the pine branches up to my nose, smiling at him. “Thank you.”
He watched me for a moment and broke the stare before picking up the paddle and taking a seat. I sat across from him and put my hands on my lap, unsure of what to do. Normally, I’d grab a paddle and help, but he only had one in the canoe. I looked over my shoulder and spotted my paddle sitting beside my canoe.
“Should I get my paddle?”
“Nope.”
“Should I—”
“Tess.” The way he said my name made my attention whip toward him. “I just need you. Nothing else.”
My heart jolted, but I managed to keep my mouth shut and not make a fool of myself. Damn it, Tessa, this is Rowan. Your friend. The guy you used to race on the lake. The one who used to walk you home late at night after parties. But in all honesty, I could barely remember that time when we’d been just friends.
Maybe because you were always secretly in love with him.
Impossible. What the hell did I know about love anyway? It was just a stupid notion people liked to write poems about. I picked at the pesky thought anyway, like lint on my sleeve. What if I was in love with him?
“You still with me?” he asked, a curious smile on his face.
“Sorry.” I blinked and then set the twig of pine on the cushion and took a deep breath, glancing around. “It’s a nice day.”
He started to row away from the dock, his back and chest expanding with each wide movement he used to push us along. He’d always been impressive to watch, but today it felt different, as if I were more than just a spectator. If I reached over and touched him, it wouldn’t be weird. He grinned, and I snapped my eyes to his quickly, feeling as if I’d been caught doing something salacious. Okay, so maybe it would be weird to lean in and do something. I bit back a smile and glanced away. The water was always serene, but right then, it looked like glass. He stopped rowing near a little floating platform all of us used to visit back in high school. It was kind of our stopping point, or at least mine. If we ever raced, this was the point where we’d go up to. Sam and Rowan used to do it often, and even though Rowan would beat him by a landslide each time, it had always been pretty funny to watch. I looked around and took in the view. It was truly a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the clouds looked like little cotton balls. The perfect painting. I looked over at the houses and spotted his parent’s dock. It always stood out because of the amount of canoes and paddles they had laid out. I wondered how much longer it would look like that.
“How much longer will you be living at your parent’s house?”
“Not much longer,” he said. “The building I’m moving into won’t be complete until November, but my apartment should be finished in a few weeks.”
“I can’t picture you in an apartment with no access to the water.”
His lips twitched. “It’s on the water.”
“Of course it is.” I smiled. “What was I thinking, Poseidon?”
He grinned and watched me for a long, silent moment. Long enough that I found myself looking away just to try to ease the tension pulsing between us. “Are we going to talk about last night?”
“We can if you want.” I kept my eyes on the horizon, unwilling to meet his gaze just yet.
“Tess.” He leaned in, reaching out and pulling my hand to his chest. I swallowed and looked at him. His expression was serious in a way I’d only seen it a handful of times. Normally, he walked around with mischievous eyes, as if he were privy to some joke and the rest of us were the butt of it. I thought about Camryn again and tried not to read into the intensity of his gaze.
“
I’m fine, if that’s what you’re worried about. It isn’t like we haven’t fooled around before.”
“Not like that.”
I felt myself blush again. No. Never like that. I hadn’t let any guy go down on me. I’d always thought it was a weird concept, but with Rowan, things were different, which was part of the problem. He searched my face a second longer before nodding and leaning back a little.
“I have to go to New York this week. You should come with me.”
“To New York?” My eyes widened. “I . . . I can’t. Not right now with everything going on. Not to mention, hotels are expensive and—”
“I’m not expecting you to pay. And we would be driving, not flying, and as my personal assistant, I think you should come.”
“I’m hardly your personal assistant, and you know it.”
“You’ve secured more meetings in a week than the other girls did in months.”
“That’s because I’m not active on social media.”
His lips twisted into a small smile. “I hate that you aren’t active on social media.”
“Because you can’t cyber-stalk me?” My heart dipped at the way he was looking at my mouth as he nodded. The boat rocked as he moved and braced his arms on either side of me.
“I wouldn’t call it stalking.”
“What do you call running by my house every morning?”
“Why do you have to label everything?” He leaned in until our noses were touching. My pulse skittered.
“I don’t.” I swallowed. “Not anymore.”
“Good.” His lips formed a small, barely there smile as he settled back into his seat. “Come with me.”
“I still have to sell the house, and Freddie wants me to sign some papers, and—”
“Everything will still be here when you get back. We’ll only be gone four days. They can put a lockbox on the house and leave the papers for you to sign when you get back.”
Then There Was You: New York Times Best Selling Author Page 11
