by Cameron Dane
Heat burned another blush under Marek's tan skin as he glanced at the chunky, brushed silver timepiece. “Yeah. I looked for it after you went away. It slipped behind the nightstand on your side of the bed.” Cricking his neck back at an awkward angle, he looked up at Colin. “I know I should have sent it back to you, but I couldn't make myself put it in the mail. I've been wearing it every day.” He exhaled shakily. “There were times where I thought I would drown in how lonely I felt and how much I missed you. I often closed my eyes and tried to see it on your wrist. It kept a line to you open. I needed it.”
“Then I'm glad you found it and kept it. I like thinking about you wearing it.” Colin fiddled with the band, adjusting it on Marek's wrist. “Yeah, it looks nice.”
“Thank you,” Marek murmured. He shifted, this time stretching out at a ninety-degree angle from Colin. He leaned his arm across Colin's stomach and rested his head in his hand, facing his lover. “So you're here, you know about my frequent use of your butt plug, so I guess I can conclude you read my e-mails.”
The green in Colin's eyes muted to moss, and his lips pursed a little bit. “I did. Today. Yesterday now, I guess.” Worry lines appeared between his brows. “The time and traveling has thrown my days off.” He tucked one hand under his head, and his jaw ticked with a pause. “I hadn't read them, up to that point. Jordan cornered me, and in that way she has, she nudged me to reconsider. She knew I missed you and still loved you. Everyone did.”
Blinking hard to hold back another wave of emotion, Marek uttered roughly, “Christ, I missed you in the way I missed Payton when he was taken from me.” He wiped his hand over his mouth, struggling to maintain control. “Only, you were still around, somewhere, but I was the one who drove you away, so I didn't have the right to go after you and bring you back.”
“Shh, I know.” Colin took Marek's hand, pressed a kiss to the tip of each finger, and tucked it against his chest when he finished. “It's okay now.”
“I can never thank Jordan enough for deciding to forward my e-mails to you. There were moments where I didn't think you would ever be able to forgive me for what I did to you, and I just didn't know how to handle it. I would send Tag a note or even talk to him on the phone, and he would always just say, 'Is he worth it to you?' I would say yes, and he would say, 'Then get up tomorrow and keep doing what you're doing. Find a way to bring him home.'“
“And what a way you did.” Colin whistled and let his focus wander all around the interior of the house, as if he could see through the walls to the changes outside. “What you've done with the house so far is beautiful and perfect. I couldn't even in my wildest dreams imagine what you were doing down here while I was fighting so hard to forget you.” This time, Colin's voice cracked a little bit. “I couldn't. And when the dreams came back… God, they were so fucking powerful.”
“I get up every day and do this for you,” Marek confessed. “I fall into bed exhausted almost every night. But the labor feels good; it gives me a sense of purpose. I prayed every night that you would come home so you could see it.”
Colin's eyes dampened with empathy, and he rubbed the back of his hand along Marek's cheekbone. “The work you've done to repair this house is beautiful,” he said. “I think Beatrice and Stewart would be very proud.” He looked right into Marek's eyes and didn't blink. “I know I am.”
“Are you really?” Marek's guilt, and hope for forgiveness, mingled and tightened his voice, giving him away, but he could not control the emotional outpour. “I know you said no more apologies, but I have to know. Can you truly look beyond how I sold you out? Or that I withheld such important information about our past the way I did? God knows I love you and want you in my life more than any other single thing in this world, but at the same time, I would never forgive myself if I became a constant reminder of your assault. It would kill me if you looked at me across the dinner table and kept seeing my betrayal, both times. I don't ever want to hurt you again. Inadvertently or on purpose. I would rather give you up and live with the consequences of my mistakes than that.”
Clouds crossed through Colin's gaze, but when he blinked, they went away and a clear stare focused on Marek. “I think your home life must have been hell to push you to what you did, because I know your heart, and I know you aren't cruel. I know you weren't back then either, just from talking to you during our walk that day. That was the real Marek; I know it was. I want you to trust me and be able to talk to me about your family and the home you grew up in one day. I think it will help me understand where your head was all those years ago.”
The ugliness of his childhood reared its head and set Marek's heart to racing. Fear that he would be unworthy if he revealed himself knotted his stomach, but he forced himself to speak through the dryness clogging his mouth. “I can try to do that,” he whispered roughly. “For you.”
“That's all I ask.”
“What about the other?” Marek had to know. “About what I did when you came here?”
“I understand why you didn't confess everything right away. Once I was able to step back from it, I had to admit I might have kept my mouth shut too if it meant getting to spend time with you and hoping you would get to know the real me.”
“That's all it was.” Marek sat up straight and straddled Colin's stomach, clutching his hands. “I liked you so much, so fast, and the thought of never seeing you again or never talking to you again or never touching you again scared me into silence.” A sliver of old fear—that actually came true—cut through Marek and induced a shiver. “The thought that you would look at me with disappointment, hurt, and maybe even hate kept me quiet longer than it should have, and I will forever be sorry for how that hurt you.”
“I get that. Now. I had to get past my own pain first so I could see it.” Colin stopped for a moment; his chest rose and fell, and his Adam's apple rolled with a couple of rapid swallows. “As for the assault itself…” It looked like Colin chewed on his cheek, signaling something difficult for him to deal with. “I researched Tiggs, Street, and Morales when I got back to Austin. None of them have a criminal record. Street and Morales are both married; Street has four kids and Morales has three. They both still live in Henderson. Tiggs is in Los Angeles. Did you know that?”
Marek shook his head. “I haven't had contact with any of them since that day I asked them about what happened to you. When I left, I rarely went back. Then Payton died, and I went home one more time to tell my family I was gay.” When Marek delivered the news, his brother only got one chance to swing at him; Marek turned around and walked out of his childhood home forever before his father could get up off the couch and pummel him into the ground. “Stayed one day,” he murmured. “Haven't been back since.”
The worrying Colin did to his cheek shifted to his lower lip. “Maybe you'll come back with me for a few days some time down the line.”
What are you thinking about, sweetness? Didn't matter. “Whatever you want, Colin. You just have to ask.”
“Thank you.” Colin's nod was a little jerky, but he didn't turn his gaze away. “I might not ever be able to prove what those guys did to me, and after all this time, it would be difficult to reopen my case legally since it was classified as an assault, but I've been thinking I might want to confront each of them individually, just to let them know I know they were responsible.” He kept nodding, and his grip on Marek's hands grew stronger as he did. “I think I'd like to look them in the eyes knowing what I know now. I believe it would be good for me and help put everything behind me once and for all.” He went back to gnawing on his lip. “I might not want to do it alone though.”
Marek rubbed his thumb against Colin's mouth, stopping him from drawing blood. “If that's what you want, then I will be at your side.”
“I'm not one hundred percent set on my course yet, but it's something I've been thinking about ever since I tracked them down.”
“Keep me updated on your thoughts. Okay?” Christ, Marek wanted this man to feel safe trus
ting him…with everything. “Don't worry about stepping on my feelings or guilt. I'm learning how to handle it and how to live with what I can't change.”
“I will. Hey.” Colin reached up and curled his hand around Marek's neck, drawing him half the distance closer. “I'm okay. I promise. I'm in just as good a place about the attack as I was when we talked about it before I knew who the guys were behind the masks. None of that has changed.”
Marek turned his head and kissed Colin's wrist. “All right. I won't be a nag.”
“Good. I don't think you would be a very cute fishwife. Fishpartner? Fishhusband?” Colin's face crinkled in that sweet way of his when he went off topic. “Fishlover? That one just sounds too weird. Anyway, never mind. Right now”—he toppled Marek the rest of the way down and tucked him back at his side—“the only thing I want to do is watch the sun set with you.”
“You have a deal.”
Tangled in each other from top to bottom, Marek snuggled in as close as he could get without slipping inside Colin again. He stared out the front door and watched the sky change from blue to a fiery orange. They remained on the floor, peaceful and quiet, as the light disappeared and darkness took over the foyer.
Pressing a kiss to Colin's temple, Marek held there and whispered, “I love you. Thank you for coming home.”
Colin turned his head and brushed a kiss against Marek's cheek. “There isn't anywhere else I want to be.” Suddenly animated, he planted another kiss on Marek's lips then shot to his feet. He looked down, and mischievous fire burned in his eyes. “Now how about we go hop in that hammock you bought us and see if we can't get you over your silly fear of falling out?” Colin raised a brow in challenge and started running for the door.
Shaking his head and rolling his eyes, Marek caught one glimpse of Colin wiggle his sweet ass before disappearing around the corner.
Marek happily gave chase.
Epilogue
Colin paused at the doorway to his and Marek's bedroom and took a moment to catch his breath at the sight before his eyes. Sprawled across the bed, on his stomach, Marek lay fast asleep. He was on top of the covers without a stitch of clothing on, his sculpted tan body was bathed in morning light, and he was beautiful. Colin's throat filled with saliva, and his dick twitched as it did every day when he took his first glimpse of this man after spending time apart. Even for just an hour.
Forcing his gaze off his partner, Colin smiled at the changes Marek had made to their room. Twice the size and a thousand times more open and airy, the wall that had separated the two bedrooms on this side of the upstairs level of the house no longer existed. In the center of the new bedroom, the stairs to the attic remained, and they now had a cozy loft above them where they could watch movies or read. Colin adored his home, and in six months, Marek had made astounding improvements inside and out, but he continued to ignore the one alteration Colin knew the man really wanted.
Not anymore.
Colin moved into the room, climbed into bed, and crawled on top of the hottest unconscious man he had ever seen. On his hands and knees over Marek, Colin dipped down and put his nose to Marek's nape, inhaling.
Fuck, he smells all musky and sexy in the morning.
Unable to resist, Colin stayed where he was and planted a line of kisses up Marek's neck around to his ear, licking into the opening before he whispered, “Wake up, sleepyhead.” He nuzzled behind Marek's ear, and tickled his waist. “Time to rise and shine.”
Marek's eyes remained closed and he swatted at Colin's hand as if he were a bothersome fly. “I worked my ass off yesterday, and you wore me out last night, sweetness.” He mumbled into the pillow and burrowed deeper into the rumpled comforter. “Give a man time to sleep and recover.”
“Wow.” Colin made his voice morose and looked at his watch. “Time of death eight thirty-three a.m.” He crawled off Marek and started across the big bed. “Let me mark this on my calendar as the first time my spouse chose sleep over the possibility of making out. Guess it's time for TV in the bedroom and clipping our toenails in bed and—”
Marek pounced and toppled Colin facedown on the mattress. “Now I didn't say that.” He smacked Colin's buttocks and yanked his shorts down in the back, exposing his rear end. Tsk-tsking, Marek rubbed his cock into Colin's crease, and Colin gritted his teeth as the thick length grazed his puckered ring. “I can still think of at least five or six things I want to do to this hot little ass of yours before I'd choose getting some shut-eye first. Like maybe”—his penis slid away from Colin's crack, and he replaced it with his lips against the cleft—“eating it for breakfast.” Marek switched from kissing to a rapid-fire series of nips and love bites all over Colin's ass cheeks, hips, and backs of his thighs, growling and snarling like a hungry animal as he did it.
Colin yelped and screeched in response and couldn't stay still. Each small nip of teeth on his skin tickled and caused him to wiggle, but Marek held his sides in the clutch of his big hands, keeping him trapped. Colin contorted his body side to side and pushed his backside into Marek's face, and he laughed so hard tears streamed down his face.
Just when Colin didn't think he could take anymore, Marek slowed things down; his thumbs slipped into Colin's crease and split him open. “So, so very hungry.” Marek flicked his tongue against Colin's asshole, and Colin's laugh morphed into a moan. He spread his legs and thrust his ass up for more, loving every lick and suck the man delivered to his needy pucker. Marek kept up the delicious torment and slipped one hand between Colin's thighs to fondle his balls.
Blood rushed to Colin's prick under Marek's deft touch, and he shoved his hand under his body to jerk himself off. Stop! You have something more important to do right now. “Wait, wait, wait.” He shook his head to clear the fog and scrambled off the mattress, yanking up his shorts while putting a good ten feet of space between himself and Marek. God, how quickly he can turn my thoughts to mush and slip me right into a sexual haze of his making. Colin spun around and put on a stern face. “I'm sorry I teased you about making out. I came up here to wake you up so you can help me do something downstairs, not to fuck.”
Looking pained, Marek kneeled in the middle of the bed. “Come on, look at me here.” He framed his jutting half erection with his hands. “You get me all hot and hard then run away? Give a guy a break.”
Colin crossed his arms and crooked a brow. “You were already hot. You always are. And most of that wood you're sporting was already there before I climbed in bed with you.”
“Semantics.” Marek's focus started at Colin's feet and slowly travelled all the way up to his eyes. By the end, his blue gaze smoldered, and Colin went a little weak in the knees. Marek stroked himself, and when he spoke, his voice was smoky and full of sex. “You're right there, and I'm right here, and Christ knows I'll steal any opportunity I can to get inside your ass.”
And God knew any other morning, noon, or night, Colin would let him. Colin moaned, but held his ground. “If you come with me you can have this”—he shifted, pushed his shorts down to his hips, and gave Marek another fast look at his bare backside—“as your reward afterward.” Colin covered back up quickly and took a step backward out into the hall.
From the bed, Marek chuckled and shook his head. “You are such a cock-tease.” He stood up and stretched his arms over his head. “Give me a minute to take a piss, brush my teeth, and put on some pants, and I'll be right with you.”
“I'll be downstairs. Don't be long.”
“Okay. Hey!” Marek's tone stopped Colin in his tracks.
Colin turned back around and braced his hand against the door frame. “Yes?”
“A few minutes ago…” Marek looked down and grabbed the white sheet tangled at the foot of the bed. He started out trying to fold it but then just curled it into a tight ball and held it against his stomach. Finally, he made eye contact with Colin again. “Did you call me your spouse?”
Oh wow. This matters to him. Colin's chest squeezed. “I guess I did.” Huh. Scratching
his chest through his T-shirt, he added, “I think of you that way all the time in my head. Have I never said it out loud before?”
“No.” Marek's headshake was choppy, and his voice even more so. “I like hearing you say it though.”
Choking up himself a little bit, Colin murmured, “Me too.” Before they both cried, Colin straightened his back and pointed at the bathroom door. “Now go pee and get dressed. I'll meet you downstairs.”
Colin left Marek alone to do his business before he let the man drag him back onto the bed to finish what he started. Traipsing down the stairs, Colin chewed on his lip as he came upon his little setup. Having already taped newspaper down to protect the floor and sealed off doorknobs and necessary edges with painter's tape, Colin fingered the quick-drying coat of primer he'd used to prep the wood. The door was open and held in place with shims under the base, and a can of all-weather paint with two brushes sat waiting on a small side table he'd snared from the living room.
All we need now is Marek.
Nerves attacked Colin, and he second-guessed if he had the right to give Marek this dream he had abandoned so long ago. Through the floor, electrical charges snapped against the soles of his bare feet and tingled up his legs, something he had gotten used to feeling but never took for granted. “Thank you, darlin'.” Colin leaned his cheek into the wall, absorbing the hum. “I appreciate your support.”
Heavy footfalls signaled Marek's presence. “What do you need my help…” Marek skidded to a halt at the foot of the stairs. His gaze swung from the primed door, to the open can of red paint, and up to Colin. He leaned his hand on the stair railing, as if he needed help to hold himself upright. “What…” His mouth opened and closed, but nothing else came out.
Colin stepped into the open doorway and spread his arms. “This is for you. It's time you had your red door.” Uncertainty loomed before him, but love he couldn't contain choked his voice. “You've waited for it long enough.”
