Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 5

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Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 5 Page 13

by Fujino Omori

They’re both a little bit woozy after opening their eyes, but once their heads are clear enough they sit up on their own. They stay on the ground, blankets covering their legs as I explain everything that’s happened.

  First, that we made it safely to the eighteenth floor. Next, that Loki Familia is taking care of us.

  I try to be as simple and precise as possible. Both of them sit quietly, staring at me until I finish. Then…they apologize.

  “Lilly’s so very sorry, Mr. Bell…”

  “Held you back there, didn’t I…Sorry, man.”

  “I-it’s not like that at all!”

  Both of them fall silent as words come pouring out of my mouth.

  I sound almost angry as I unleash everything all at once. If Lilly hadn’t been there, we would’ve wandered aimlessly around the Dungeon for who knows how long. If Welf hadn’t been there, the hellhounds would’ve roasted us alive.

  Lilly’s and Welf’s eyes seem to shrink away as they quietly listen to my tirade.

  “It’s thanks to the two of you, thanks to all of us…that we’re here right now, that we survived.”

  “…Well said.”

  “We would’ve died if one of us wasn’t here. Lilly agrees.”

  Their confidence seems to be coming back. Their faces transform from grimaces into actual smiles.

  At the same time, I feel a little bit embarrassed about my outburst.

  A moment later, all three of us wrinkle our faces as we laugh with one another.

  “…Dinner’s ready. Are you okay?”

  “Ah, yes!”

  I jump to my feet in response to a voice coming from outside the tent. Aiz pokes her head in.

  Lilly’s and Welf’s jaws drop as the Kenki appears in front of their very eyes.

  “Th-thank you, really. Sharing food with us and all…”

  “It’s nothing…Can you come outside?”

  I freeze for a moment. I’ve got a bad feeling about going out there, but they’ve done so much to help us, so…it would be rude not to say hi, wouldn’t it?

  I look back at Lilly and Welf and use my eyes to ask them if it’s okay. Both of them nod.

  They climb to their feet and all of us follow Aiz out of the tent and toward the camp.

  “Hey, Bell. How do you know the Kenki?”

  “Umm…It’s a long story.”

  “Mr. Bell. Please tell Lilly all about it sometime soon.”

  I’m lending my shoulder to Welf once again and Lilly is smiling beside me, but it’s a little frightening.

  That story is one embarrassing moment after another, so I’d rather not tell her if I can help it…

  The three of us force an empty laugh as we keep up with Aiz.

  Lilly and Welf start looking around and taking everything in. We reach the center of camp in no time.

  “Humph, it’s them…”

  A large number of people are sitting in a circle in the open space at the center of their campsite. A few specialized magic-stone lamps are set up in the middle. Bright and flickering, they look almost like flames. If I remember right, this design is called a “campfire.”

  This big circle isn’t just made up of Loki Familia members. Hephaistos Familia’s High Smiths are here, too. Aiz explains what is going on as Welf recognizes someone in the circle and groans.

  “H-hello there……”

  All eyes are on us. We make our way to an empty spot and take a seat.

  The moment my rear touches ground, plop, Aiz sits down on my right. Lilly takes a seat on my left and Welf on the other side of her. We’ve naturally sat down according to rank…which is kind of scary.

  I’ve sat next to Aiz before, during our morning training sessions…but it still feels like there’s a lot of distance between my idol and me. I don’t know if it’ll ever go away.

  I sneak a peek in her direction. However, she notices right away and makes eye contact. Her golden hair is silky and shiny, like she’s just taken a bath. Come to think of it, the air around her smells like a pure hot spring.

  “Something wrong?”

  “…N-no! Everything’s fine!”

  I can feel my face heating up, so I break off eye contact before my face starts burning red.

  “Everyone, please listen. As I’ve told many of you, we are hosting some guests tonight. All of them courageously risked their lives to save one another, and managed to safely arrive on the eighteenth floor. I won’t ask you to be friendly with them. However, I would like you to respect them as fellow adventurers while they’re with us…Now then, let’s have a fresh start.”

  “Wow, he’s really good at this…”

  Mr. Finn walks to the center of the circle and addresses everyone. He appeals to everyone’s pride as adventurers to help avoid arguments and fights. Sounds like Lilly is really impressed by his approach.

  At long last, the food arrives. Two or three fruits to a person.

  They’re red fruits, shaped like gourds. The amber-colored flesh inside looks sweet…I’ve never seen anything like this on the surface. They must grow here on the eighteenth floor. I carefully take a bite out of the fruit that looks like cotton dipped in honey. No wonder it’s been named the “honey cloud.”

  My mouth is instantly filled with a thick, sweet juice—and I almost spit it out.

  It’s sweet—much too sweet. I’m not all that good with sweet stuff to begin with, but this is making me tear up. I feel like I’m gonna die! Doing my best to swallow, I take a look around. The female members of Loki Familia seem to be enjoying it. Just one bite and their faces melt, their hands on their cheeks. I can tell that shivers are running down their spines.

  “Mr. Bell, Mr. Bell? Lilly would be happy to finish that for you, if you don’t like it?”

  “S-sure. Here…”

  “Oh, okay—Ahhhh.”

  “All right, Bell. Leave it to me, I’ll finish it for you…Whew, you were right, way too sweet.”

  Lilly shifts in front of me and perches like a bird with her mouth open, like she wants me to feed her. But before I can put the rest of the fruit in her mouth, Welf snatches it out of my hand and wolfs the whole thing down in one bite.

  Lilly’s fuming mad, her face beet red and a little vein popping out of her forehead as she kicks Welf over and over in the shin. He doesn’t seem to notice, though, because he’s pounding his chest as if the fruit is stuck in his throat.

  Aiz watches the events unfold, completely speechless.

  “But yeah, I’ve heard stories about this place…Not the usual Dungeon floor, is it?” The fruit must’ve passed through, since Welf is taking in the scenery.

  All of the white crystals on the ceiling have gone dark, meaning only the larger blue ones are producing any light. The entire forest is covered in a dark blue shadow. A “night sky” not much different from the one outside the Dungeon is on the other side of the leaves above us.

  Everyone in the circle around us is illuminated by the orange and bronze light emitted by the campfire-style magic-stone lamps. They’re all eating, drinking, and chatting with one another. They look like they’re having a great time, their shadows dancing on the trees behind them as several throw their heads back in laughter at the same time. This whole scene looks like a picture out of the tales I used to read—a group of adventurers having a meal together, deep in a forest under a full moon.

  Mr. Finn, Ms. Reveria, and Mr. Galess are being served by other party members—more of those red gourd sugar bombs, by the looks of it. I don’t know if it’s because they’re almost finished with their expedition, but the members of Loki Familia don’t look anxious at all.

  I can see that they do have a few people surrounding the camp as lookouts, but everyone else looks like they’re on vacation.

  “Exotic fruit, a sky…There’s supposed to be a town here, too, right?”

  “Eh…A t-town?!”

  That’s a word I wasn’t expecting to hear.

  A “sky” being this far underground was hard enough to swallow,
but an actual town in the Dungeon…

  I turn to Aiz without thinking. She looks up from her plate of nutrition cubes and quickly nods.

  “…Tomorrow, shall we go?”

  “Yes, please!”

  I don’t think I’ve nodded my head up and down faster in my life.

  This is so exciting! I try to picture this Dungeon Town in my head. What would the buildings look like? What would people do there…? So many questions race through my head. This must be one of the charms of being an adventurer! I say to myself as my enthusiasm reaches yet another level.

  My face must be beaming right now. Aiz looks at me from the side…I think she’s smiling.

  “Hiya, Mr. Argonaut!”

  I know exactly who it is even before I look up to see Miss Tiona walking this way.

  Her older sister Miss Tione is just a few steps behind. The Amazonian twins came right up to me earlier. Swoop. They sit down on either side of me.

  “What?”

  “You must tell us your story. Think of it as paying us back for the food and lodging. You wouldn’t mind, would you?”

  “Please, please!”

  Lilly gawked at Miss Tione as she forced her way between us. Aiz just tilted her head to the side as Miss Tiona wiggled her way in. All the breath leaves my body as their skin brushes against me, my body sandwiched between them. My face must be the color of raw meat by now.

  Lilly looks pissed, her eyebrows standing on end. Miss Tiona’s face appears on my right. She looks really happy and excited for some reason. Then she asks me a question.

  “How did you get all of your basic abilities to ‘S’?”

  My face tries to hide behind my skull.

  Muscles kind of twitch their way into a smile as I look to my left. Miss Tione is giggling, her eyes narrowed. The message I get from that look is, you’re not getting away until you talk.

  A new round of questions erupts in my mind: How long ago was my Status exposed? How does she know what my basic abilities were? More and more pop up every second. My heart shakes inside my chest and it won’t settle down.

  And if I answer her honestly…Would she be satisfied if I bluntly say “effort”? All I did was try to pursue my goal, my idol.

  As for said idol, she’s sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees and not doing much. However, I can tell that her ears are on high alert…My idol can be cruel sometimes.

  Mr. Finn and Ms. Reveria are enjoying the forest view a little ways away, but they do nothing to intervene. Mr. Galess is staring right at me, stroking his beard and taking in every word.

  Welf is my last hope. “What, Welfy-boy? You miss us so much that you follow us down here like a lost puppy? How sweet of you.” He’s surrounded by Hephaistos Familia’s smiths.

  “Hey, enough! Get lost!” He sounds really angry. Lilly’s still fuming, glaring at the Amazon twins and even me.

  I’m completely isolated.

  Rivers of cold sweat flow out of my skin. I would give anything to pass out right now.

  “—GUnuAHH?!”

  It comes out of the blue.

  “?!”

  I know that voice better than anyone, but this is the last place I should hear it.

  Lilly and I immediately look at each other. She knows, too. We both firmly nod.

  “Excuse me, please, let me through!”

  I don’t wait for any of them to answer and jump to my feet.

  I take off with Lilly right behind me and Welf not too far behind her.

  I run headlong in the direction of the sound. The forest quickly opens up. I can see a massive cliff in front of me and the entrance to a circular cave at its base. That’s the tunnel that connects the seventeenth and eighteenth floors, for sure.

  Loki Familia’s lookouts are already gathering at the scene. I squeeze my way past their shoulders and see—

  “Owwwww…?! No one ever told me the monsters got that big?!”

  “Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! I thought I was a goner!”

  The goddess is on all fours, gasping for breath.

  I feel my eyelids pull open. There’s also a male deity sitting on the ground next to my goddess, as well as a number of adventurers trying to catch their breath—a girl wearing glasses looks absolutely exhausted.

  They must’ve just barely escaped the floor boss, just like us. I recognize the fear in their eyes.

  “…Ah.”

  The group starts to notice me and the goddess raises her head. She looks around until, zing! Her eyes lock onto me.

  Her soft blue eyes grow rounder and rounder by the moment. Without warning, she lunges forward, tripping as she tries to run toward me.

  “—Bell!!”

  “Ouff?!”

  The lookouts step aside as she rushes forward. The goddess leaves her feet and comes crashing headfirst into my stomach.

  Unfortunately, I was flat-footed and not prepared for the impact. I fall and land hard on my back.

  “Bell, Bell! Are you the real one?!”

  “G-godeshh…?!”

  She’s straddling my stomach, patting my arms and legs vigorously until she reaches my face. Grabbing my cheeks, she pulls my face into many different shapes. I reach up and somehow manage to get her to let go.

  I’m about to ask why she’s here as I prop myself up on my elbows, but she wraps both of her arms around my neck so tight that I can’t get the words out, and presses her body against mine.

  “…?!”

  My eyes are opened wide, skin bright red.

  I feel like I’m being squeezed by many soft pillows. I can almost hear the air being pushed out from between our bodies.

  The goddess completely embraces me, nestling her head underneath my chin. Hot breath on my neck, all of her weight on my shoulders, and I have no idea what to do.

  I try to say something, but what? I open my mouth and close it again more than a few times, when suddenly I hear:

  “…Thank heavens.”

  I can feel her soft voice on my skin.

  My nerves calm down, tension draining from my shoulders.

  The goddess’s body is shaking like a small child’s. Her thin arms pull me up and closer to her. I hear something wet coming from around my neck.

  There’s no need to ask why she’s here anymore.

  She was worried and put herself at risk to come and find me.

  I take a look at one of her black ponytails that’s brushing against the side of my face.

  Our bodies and minds feel very close, and even our breathing has aligned. The warmth of her body makes me feel like something irreplaceable is being replenished.

  Should I hold her? I sit there thinking about it for a moment and start to raise my hands…That’s when I notice we have an audience.

  They’ve been here the whole time, quietly watching.

  My body goes stiff as a board again as embarrassment floods my system.

  My hands are off the ground but not yet around the goddess. With nowhere to go, they just kind of float there.

  “Please get ahold of yourself, Lady Hestia.”

  “Hey! Don’t go ruining our beautiful reunion! Gah! Lemme go!”

  Lilly has ahold of the collar of the goddess’s robe. She does her best to resist, but the prum has a Status. Lilly’s stronger. A little girl is pulling another little girl as the latter’s arms and legs flail around trying to escape.

  Free of the goddess’s embrace, I watch the two of them with a bead of sweat rolling down my cheek.

  “Mr. Cranell, are you injured?”

  “Eh…L-Lyu?!”

  An adventurer wearing a hooded cape comes over and kneels next to where I’m sitting on the ground.

  Not only do I recognize that voice, but I can make out two sky-blue eyes partially hidden beneath the hood.

  There’s no mistake. It’s the beautiful elf waitress who works at The Benevolent Mistress.

  “Lyu, too? Why…?”

  “A certain deity was rather insistent I accept a quest. He want
ed me to join the search party to find you.”

  She shifts her light-blue gaze.

  I follow her line of sight to the god who was next to the goddess a moment ago.

  He’s just sitting there, orange hair shifting as he looks around. Slapping the floor a few times with his hands, the deity stands up.

  “Okay, I’ve got a good idea what’s going on.”

  He looks at Aiz and other members of Loki Familia in turn, giving each a hearty smile.

  Then he notices me looking at him.

  He comes over, face still locked in that charming smile.

  “So you’re Bell Cranell, eh?”

  “Y-yes.”

  I can feel his narrow orange eyes sweeping over me.

  My body won’t move, mouth won’t open. His eyes meet mine and narrow.

  “Ahhh…I’ve been looking for you.”

  His eyes seemed to smile after he said that.

  “The name’s Hermes. Nice to make your acquaintance.”

  “Lord…Hermes?”

  “That’s me, Bell.”

  He sticks out his hand without breaking eye contact as I do my best to respond.

  It’s quite the first impression, this charming smile and handshake. He seems like a friendly deity.

  “L-Lord Hermes, if you don’t mind my asking, um…”

  “The reason I would come this far to help someone I’d never met?”

  “Y-yes.”

  “You see, Hestia is an old friend of mine, so of course I’m going to help her out. She wanted to find you, so naturally I did, too.”

  He glances over to the spot where the goddess and Lilly are having a rather spirited conversation and chuckles to himself.

  Once he looks back at me I bow my head and say, “Th-thank you very much, sir.”

  It’s probably thanks to him that the goddess was able to make it this deep into the Dungeon. I’ve got a feeling he pulled a few strings to make it happen.

  “It’s not me you should be thanking, it’s them. It’s thanks to the hooded adventurer and those children over there that we managed to get this far.”

  He gestures toward a small group of adventurers still standing at the entrance to the tunnel.

  One is a young woman with aqua-blue hair and silver glasses. The other three wear matching armor—probably members of the same Familia…

 

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