by Jon F. Merz
“I thought you had a girlfriend.”
“I’m not married yet. Besides, we sort of agreed to see other people while we’re away from each other.”
“Pragmatic.” I turned back to the train station. One Chinese ZSD, two jeeps, and a tank. What a warm welcome they’d laid out. “And more than a little refreshing. You don’t want to end up being stuck with someone who’s not right for you.”
“I don’t even know how I’d know if they were or they weren’t.”
“You’ll know. Trust me.”
Jack coughed. “Guess I’m just scared up ending up with someone I think is the right woman and then finding someone else I should be with.”
I looked back down the slope at him. “Are we seriously discussing girls right now when I’m trying to figure out an infiltration plan?”
Jack eyed me. “Hey, the conversations happen when they happen.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “Look, here’s the truth as far as I know it: a lot of people claim to understand love. A lot of other people think you only have one soul mate. And a whole lot of other people think they have the right to judge you for however you live your life and whoever you choose to love.”
“Okay.”
“You know what? They’re all wrong. Every last one of them.”
Jack frowned. “Great. This is upbeat. I’m feeling so inspired here.”
“I’m being serious. Love is the great unknown. If your heart is as full as people claim, then the amount of love you have to give is boundless. How else do you explain being able to love more than one person at a time? And if that soul mate theory was right, how would widows and divorcees find someone new?”
“I’m listening.”
I slid down the slope and looked at him. “Here’s the thing: love has more supposed rules and regulations than pretty much any other construct in the universe. But at the end of the day, the heart wants what the heart wants. You might try to control it, try to wrestle your impulses and your feelings, but that’s like trying to put a leash on the wind. And frankly, we ought to feel incredibly privileged to feel all the love we possibly can. I’m not saying you have to act on every whim or desire; but I’m not telling you that those are wrong, either. They’re a part of who you are. To deny that or try to subjugate it is foolish. You won’t be honest. And honest living is the best way to live. It takes courage, though. Because everyone else who is too afraid to do what you do will judge you and tell you you’re wrong and wonder how you can possibly do that. Ignore them. At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is who you choose to connect with. Maybe it’s sexual, maybe it’s not. Maybe you just feel this connection. Whatever incarnation it takes, celebrate it. There are an awful lot of miserable people walking around who have never felt real joy because they don’t let themselves revel in the wonder that is real love. Love takes so many forms it would be impossible to catalog them all. So when it comes around, acknowledge it, decide how or even if you want to act on it, and for god’s sake, appreciate it. Be thankful that you get to experience it as much as you will. Don’t be an ungrateful leech sucking from the teet of the universe. Give it back in kind. Dig?”
“Dig?” Jack shook his head. “Lawson, I sometimes wonder where you get your vocabulary from.”
“I’m an original,” I said. “They broke the mold when they made me.”
“No shit.”
“You gonna help me here or what? The train could leave at any time and we need to be on it or we’re screwed.”
Jack dusted himself off. “So how are we doing this?”
“With the Cloak on. We’ll traverse the open ground and get on the rear of the train. That will enable us to drop off when we reach the area we need to get to without much hassle.”
Jack looked dubious. “We’re jumping off a moving train? That sounds dangerous.”
“It is, but it can be done. I’ll show you how, don’t worry.”
“And what if they station guards at the back of the train?”
I shrugged. “Frankly, I’m not worried so much about that. I’m more worried about reaching the train in the first place. There are an awful lot of soldiers milling around down there. Plus, there’s the visa checkpoint. That will most likely mean some sort of internal security service presence as well. They’ll have jurisdiction. So we want to avoid them if at all possible.”
“And you think it is?”
“Possible?” I smiled. “Of course.”
Jack sighed. “I wonder if it would have been easier just to agree to meet with Xuan Xiang and kill him then.”
“No doubt,” I agreed. “But there would be no guarantee that Talya would be safe.”
“Don’t professional assassins have some sort of honor code? You give each other your word, something like that?”
I sniffed. “Trust is a luxury I can’t afford. The few people in this world I do trust aren’t holding my girlfriend hostage.” I patted him on the back. “Now come on. Let’s do this and make it as fast as possible. Follow my lead like we did earlier and we’ll be fine.”
“Okay.”
We fastened the Cloak and then climbed up over the ridge, picking our way down the slope on the other side. We were in full open ground now, but the Cloak concealed us. I had no idea if it also diminished our infrared signature or what, but I had to hope that the Cloak fully made us invisible. As crazy as it seemed to be walking out in the open, I couldn’t argue with success. I just hoped we continued to enjoy a good relationship with it. Especially when we reached Talya.
A thought bothered me, though. The Cloak could readily handle two of us. But what would adding another to that mix do? There was also the possibility that the Cloak had been made for vampires and not for humans. Would it conceal Talya at all? Or would we have to figure something else out once we reached her?
I pushed the questions out of my head. Trying to figure them out now while we were sneaking right up on the Chinese army probably wasn’t a smart thing to do.
We approached the visa checkpoint. The entry was a funnel through concertina wire with military on all sides. But the train station itself stood apart from any other buildings. And there were gaps in the perimeter that would enable Jack and me to sneak right through without needing to go where the other passengers were going. I steered us over toward one of them, a narrow passage through the concertina wire and beyond that, access to the train itself. A couple of soldiers stood nearby, but as long as we were quiet, they wouldn’t notice us.
I felt Jack’s hesitation and nudged him closer. I went through first, turning my body sideways in order to fit. Jack did the same and we sidestepped through.
Just as we cleared it, I heard something tear.
I looked at Jack and he pointed to the edge of the Cloak. It was stuck on a barb of wire.
Carefully, I reached out and plucked it free. Would the Cloak stop working now that it had been torn? I didn’t want to wait around and find out. We needed to get on the train as fast as possible.
The train whistle erupted nearby and we both nearly shit ourselves. We were trying so hard to be quiet, but the fact was, the ambient noise was loud and chaotic. People were talking, passengers milled about once free of the visa checkpoint, and the various sounds of loading and unloading meant we were relatively safe. The train horn reminded us of that and Jack smirked at me.
Time to go.
We headed toward the back of the train and found the very last car. It had a back deck area with a rail around it. But standing there would have been stupid. I suspected it would be the place where everyone went for a cigarette during the journey. A ladder nearby led to the top of the car and I gestured for Jack to go up first. The timing was tricky, and we had to virtually piggyback at the same time to make it up still covered by the Cloak.
But we did it. On top of the car, we sat down and took a breather. I felt the entire train jerk once and then slowly start to pull away from the station. I was scared that someone would see us, but no one did. And be
fore I knew it, we were across the border and into China proper.
Qinghai province stretched before us. Somewhere out there ahead, Talya waited for me to come rescue her.
And Xuan Xiang had a date with destiny - the sort of destiny only I could provide him with.
16
I estimated the train was traveling at about forty miles an hour. That put our trip at just over the sixty minute mark. Sitting on top of the car gave us the opportunity to relax a bit. I heard numerous people come out on the back deck below and I was glad I’d brought us up to the top of the car, although the scent of cigarette smoke made me want to puke.
We kept the Cloak on the entire time, obviously. There was no sense taking a chance. Any of the guards or even train staff could have poked their head topside and spotted us if we hadn’t been invisible. So we just played it safe. There’d be plenty of opportunities to take risks in the coming hours.
I felt Jack leaning against me and the rise and fall as he settled into a relaxed breathing pattern. Once again, he’d done well moving with me while under the Cloak. I could tell he was exhausted. So was I. But one of us had to stay awake and alert in the event that trouble found us. I’d told Jack he could doze if he wanted. He’d protested, of course, but gradually he’d nodded off and the breathing pattern confirmed it.
I stifled a yawn and embraced the feel of the wind in my hair. We were heading deeper into China, a country I’d visited a few times before, but never to locations as remote as Qinghai. I didn’t know much about it, except that it was sparsely populated. But I figured that worked out better for me and Jack. The fewer people we encountered, the better.
It was also probably the reason why Xuan Xiang and his superiors had set up there little demonic portal experiment, or whatever the hell it was, here. Without prying eyes of locals, they could pretty much do whatever the hell they liked. Not that I expected any citizens in this part of the country to protest official Chinese government activities, of course. But in these days of smart phones and the like, the chances of conducting an operation in secret were slim. So a remote location was a necessity.
The sky was still overcast, but I could tell the sun was trying its best to poke through the clouds. I could have done with some warmth. While not cold, the stiff breezes blowing across the train chilled me. The Cloak offered little in terms of warmth, but I figured it wasn’t a good idea to complain about that fact. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful, after all.
And as long as the Cloak kept its powers up long enough for us to steal into wherever Xuan Xiang was holding Talya, that’s what I cared about most.
I checked my watch. We had a little over thirty minutes left before I estimated we’d need to jump off of the train. Once that happened, we’d hopefully be pretty close to wherever Talya was. I wondered, though, if there might be a station or some sort set up. I didn’t think the place would be so remote that it couldn’t be kept resupplied by train or truck or even airplane. They would still need some sort of lifeline to the outside world.
Still, it was a slim chance. For all I knew, the place could have been entirely self-sufficient. Maybe they grew their own food. Who the hell knew? What mattered most was getting inside and breaking Talya out. I could even wait to even the score with Xuan Xiang if he didn’t happen to be around.
The priority was Talya. Everything else was secondary.
“Lawson.”
I almost jumped out of my skin. Jack wasn’t asleep after all, it seemed. “Yeah?”
“That man back at the tent.”
“The one the soldier shot?”
“Executed in cold blood,” said Jack. There was an edge to his voice. For all I knew it might have been the first time he’d seen something like that. I didn’t blame him for feeling angry. That sort of thing has never sat well with me, either.
“What about him?”
“Do you remember what he said?”
We spoke quietly. While I doubted we could be heard over the roaring wind, it was better to be safe. “Yeah, that he and others like him had been kidnapped and taken to some place for slave labor.”
“He called the place the Abyss.”
I nodded. “That’s right. What about it?”
Jack paused. I had a sense what was coming next. Mostly because when it comes to Lady Luck, she gives me the finger every chance she gets.
“That’s where Talya is.”
I hate it when I’m right.
“Great.”
“I’m serious,” said Jack. “She’s being held there in some sort of underground facility. The place is huge. There’s military everywhere. And advanced shit, too. Not like the standard fare we’ve been seeing.”
“What do you mean ‘advanced?’”
“I mean, all sorts of sensors and crap. I got a pretty good look at the layout, but I can’t remember everything. I mean, it’s locked the in the head and all and I’ll be able to call it up as we proceed, but I can’t necessarily give you a blow-by-blow right now.”
“We have the Cloak,” I said. But somehow, that felt a bit empty.
“Yeah, I just hope it conceals us against everything they have there.”
I frowned. “I don’t suppose there’s any way you can communicate with the Cloak?”
“Uh, no. It’s an inanimate object. I could no better talk to it than I could a rock.”
“That’s what I figured. Doesn’t hurt to ask, though. I never know what sort of tricks you have up your sleeve.”
“Not enough this time,” said Jack.
“Don’t be down on yourself. You’ve done great thus far.”
He sighed. “I wish I could be more help to you.”
“Stop talking like that. People who put themselves down are only programming their own failure. Self-sabotage doesn’t do any good. Keep your head up, suck it up, and get shit done. There’s no other path to success.”
“Now you’re a self-help guru?”
“Didn’t you know that? I routinely dispense life advice to those in dire need of it - like especially the scumbags I come across in the course of my job.”
“Advice before a bullet? Interesting.”
I smiled. “At least they learn something in their last few seconds.”
“I’m sure when you show up, they learn they screwed the pooch.”
“They do indeed.”
Jack turned and looked off into the distance. “I’m scared, Lawson.”
“So am I, pal. We’re going into the unknown. And truth be told, anything can happen.”
He paused. “Thanks for being honest with me. You handle things in such a way that I don’t ever see much emotion on your face. Sometimes it’s like none of this even bothers you. You just have this ability to get things done.”
“Jack, listen to me: there’s not a combat veteran anywhere on this planet that will tell you they weren’t scared. And if they do, they’re lying.” Another stiff breeze blew through my hair. I squinted as the sun peeked out of the clouds. “There is never a time in your life when you will feel as completely alive as you do before you go into battle. At no other point will you relish your past because you know that in the blink of an eye, it can vanish. You could very easily die. And everything you hold dear can be snatched away in a single moment. If that’s not scary, then I don’t know what is.”
Jack rubbed his stomach. “So how do you deal with it?”
“I wish I could say it gets easier with time. But it doesn’t necessarily. You get used to the butterflies. To the urge to vomit or take a dump or piss your brains out. Or all three. You feel it come over you and it’s like some pain-in-the ass relative that shows up for a holiday. You don’t want him there, but you’ve got to deal with him regardless. So you do. And in this case, you learn how to control your body a bit more so those urges - if they don’t go away - at least don’t interfere with getting your job done. It’s nasty stuff. But it comes with the territory.”
“You’ve been operating in this territory for a long time.”
“Longer than most,” I said. “And if I’m scared, then you should feel completely at ease feeling scared. Just acknowledge it rather than try to hide it. Suppressing this shit doesn’t do you any good. So puke if you need to, but get yourself locked down and ready to work.”
Jack looked around. “I probably shouldn’t puke here.”
“Or take a dump,” I said. “But you get the point.”
“Yeah.” He glanced at his watch. “How much longer?”
“Five minutes. Maybe more. Maybe less.” I peered ahead but the tracks curved around to the right around a large mountain. The train slowed as it came abreast of the curve. My stomach hurt now, too. I looked at Jack but his eyes were fixed on the tracks. I could only do so much. Every person I’ve ever known who goes into combat has to come to terms with it on their own. You can’t figure it out by asking other people about their experiences and how they handled it. You just figure it out when it happens.
I just hoped Jack would live long enough to figure it out.
The squeal of brakes reached our ears and I heard a hiss as well. This was not some high-tech bullet train we were on; it was an old coal fired locomotive and it took its time turning to the right.
On one side, the mountain stretched up toward the sky, effectively blocking out the sunlight. A deep shadow fell over the train. I shivered as a breeze blew into us, funneled by the mountain. Something felt off. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but the ache in my stomach hurt more than it had before. If there was something bad waiting for us, I was willing to bet it was going to happen soon.
Lucky us.
“Lawson.”
Jack’s voice was softer now that the train was slowing down and the ambient noise was far less.
“Yeah.”
“I see a station of sorts ahead.”
I looked and nodded. Up ahead maybe two hundred yards was a steel platform and building. The Chinese flag flew proudly overhead. Two machine gun nests flanked either side of the track. But they didn’t look like they’d been hastily erected. They were more permanent, so it seemed unlikely there was any type of alert out for us.
