by Sabrina York
“It sounds like you were better off.”
Caris’s eyes widened. “She loved me, which is more than I can say for the procession of foster mothers who came after her.”
“Why didn’t she get you back?”
She thought she detected criticism in his tone. “She tried, but the judge denied her petition and ordered her to be self-sufficient before reapplying. As incentive, he refused her requests for visitation for at least three months.”
He cleared his throat. “What happened when she reapplied?”
“She didn’t.” The words sounded stark even to her ears. Caris blinked back the tears threatening to fall.
He frowned. “Why not? Surely you were worth trying to turn things around for?”
She glared at Dom. “She was killed before she could get back to court. They never caught the guy, but I’m convinced it was the ex she stabbed in the neck.”
He seemed to deflate right before her eyes. “Jesus, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply—”
“Didn’t you?” she asked bitterly. “Aren’t the courts always right? If a woman loses her child, she must be an unfit mother. No one ever slants a case, and judges never favor the wealthy, do they?” She took a deep breath and bit down hard on her tongue to hold back the rest of her tirade.
Dom cleared his throat again. “So, what happened after you got out of foster care?”
She went limp against the seat, glad he had changed the subject. Her emotions were close to slipping beyond her control. “I didn’t have good enough grades or the money for college, so I went to work and took Vo-tech classes part-time.”
“When did you meet him?”
Her throat closed with panic, and she stiffened. She had to swallow several times before she could form any sort of answer. “Who? What?”
“The man who hurt you.”
Caris sagged with relief. “I was eighteen and stupid. He wowed me with his sophistication and charm.”
“Did you love him?” He sounded like he was choking.
Caris hesitated. “I thought I did, but no, I never loved him.”
“How did it end?”
The memory flooded into her mind before she could stop it.
“You don’t tell me no.”
“Please, Brendan, don’t. I’m not feeling well.” Caris struggled against the weight of him, trapped between his body and the soft Berber under her. She screamed and pleaded, but he wouldn’t stop.
She blinked away the memory. “Badly.”
“Did he physically hurt you?”
She unconsciously fingered the scar at the corner of her eye. Her voice was strained when she answered. “He hurt me in every way a person can be hurt.”
“What—”
“Please, can we drop the 20 questions? My head’s killing me. I didn’t sleep well last night.”
Their eyes locked for a long moment before he turned his attention back to the road. “Neither did I,” he said softly.
She ignored his words and turned to gaze out the window. She tried to shake off the memories clinging to her as they covered the distance back to the ranch. She was grateful he didn’t speak again.
Over the next few days, Jessica steadily improved. Her fever broke by Friday and didn’t return through the weekend. She turned sunny and placid once more, much to everyone’s relief.
Sunday morning, when they sat down to breakfast, the baby ate a full jar of creamed bananas and drank half a bottle. “I think she’s all better,” Elena said.
Caris nodded.
“We won’t have to postpone the festivities, in that case. We’ll have our Christmas party next Friday, don’t you think, Dom?”
He looked up from his plate. “What?”
“Will next Friday work for the party? That’s the day before Christmas Eve.”
“Hmm, that’s fine.”
“Since the little one’s feeling better, I thought perhaps you and Caris could select a tree today?”
He groaned. “Can’t we just buy one?”
She shook her head. “With all the trees on our land, there’s no sense paying for one.”
He lifted a brow. “How about you pick it then, Mom?”
She sniffed at him. “Caris will do a fine job of selecting the tree. You chop it down.”
Dom stood up to take his plate to the dishwasher. “Fine. Dress warmly, Caris. Who knows how long we’ll be traipsing through the forest.”
Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she abandoned her half-finished breakfast to run upstairs and change. The thought of picking the tree and helping to chop it down, thrilled her. It seemed so traditional, so Christmassy. She couldn’t wait to get started.
Caris changed from the leggings and crew neck long-sleeve shirt to new jeans and a raspberry colored sweater. She slid on the new boots she had purchased and shrugged into Dom’s jacket, which she had unthinkingly slipped in her closet when they returned from the doctor. Maybe someday she would return it, but she wasn’t in a rush. It was almost like having Dom’s arms around her when she wore it.
When she came downstairs, he held out a stocking cap and a pair of gloves. “Mom’s,” he explained.
She slipped on the orange set, not even bothered by the color, which faded her complexion. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He shook his head. “I don’t see the appeal.”
“It’s the first real Christmas tree I can remember.”
He looked surprised. “Oh. We’ll have to make sure it’s a beauty, won’t we?”
She grinned and nodded, following him into the garage. After loading a chainsaw, rope, and an ax in the back, he climbed into the Tacoma, and she followed suit. “Why the truck?”
“The best trees are located roughly between hell and yonder,” he said with a grimace. “You don’t want to be dragging a tree back that far.”
“Okay.”
Instead of turning onto the road, Dom cut a path across the pasture.
“I’ll bet your ancestors took a sleigh when they got a tree. They probably sang too.”
His lip curled. “I’m not singing.”
She sighed loudly and leaned forward to fiddle with the radio. Soon, a jazzy rendition of White Christmas wafted through the cab of the truck. She tapped her toe along with the beat, and couldn’t resist joining in.
Dom looked up when she began to sing. “You have a clear, charming voice, Caris.” He grinned. “I envy your ability to blend perfectly with the musician, hitting each note correctly. My singing is usually compared to a tortured cat.”
She broke off in mid-lyric, blushing a fiery red. “Are you tone deaf?” She giggled, and her face got hotter with the girlish sound.
He shook his head. “Your voice is beautiful.” His eyes fastened on her heart-shaped face. “Just like the rest of you.”
She turned her head and was soon singing along with Silver Bells. She was determined to ignore his flirtations. If only she could successfully ignore her own temptations, she would have nothing to worry about.
He hadn’t been exactly kidding when he said the trees were in hell and yonder. They drove for over an hour before reaching a stand of eight and nine-foot trees. Dom parked the truck and shut off the engine, abruptly ending Jingle Bells Rock. Still as eager as ever, Caris got out of the truck and walked around to the back. She took the ax and rope without asking, leaving him to tote the chainsaw.
“This way.” He pointed in the general direction of North.
As they entered the heavy growth, she asked, “What are we looking for?”
“You’ll know it when you see it.”
“But, how?”
He shrugged. “Women’s intuition? I don’t know.”
“But—”
“Why are you whispering?”
She giggled when she realized she had been whispering. “I don’t know. This place feels holy, like being in a church.”
Dom shook his head and waited for her to catch up with his longer stride. When she was by
his side, he took her hand. “If you don’t see perfect, I’ll settle for straight and balanced.”
“I want to pick it,” she insisted, with a slight pout.
“Fine.” He nodded his head. “There’re several to choose from.” He used their clasped hands to point at one nearby. “How about that one?”
She tilted her head and studied the nine-and-a-half-foot Douglas fir. It was straight, with a nice shape, but it didn’t feel like the right tree. She shook her head, and they continued walking.
He pointed out other trees, but none felt right to her. They walked over a mile before she suddenly stopped. A ray of sunlight fell across a tree sitting on a hill about two hundred yards from them. It seemed to give the tree a halo effect. The tree was straight and full, with a clear line of branches forming its triangular shape. Even the bark was perfect—a nice gray-green shade, without many holes and scrapes to mar its perfection. “That’s the one.”
He didn’t seem to share her enthusiasm. All he did was pull her along a little faster, straight toward the tree. As soon as they arrived, Dom took goggles from his coat pocket. “Stand back over there.”
She looked at the ax. “What’s this for?”
“To trim the branches.”
Caris shook her head. “You can’t. It’s perfect.”
“Relax. It will look just fine.”
She sighed and walked to the place he had indicated. He started the chainsaw and had cut through the base of the tree within thirty minutes. Once it was safely on the ground, she approached, handing him the ax.
“I don’t think we’ll need it.” He took the rope from her. “I’ll need your help with this part though.”
After they had tied some of the larger branches down and formed a handle for pulling from the rope, Dom sat on the tree stump.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking a break.”
“We need to get the tree in water—” The breath hissed from her when he pulled her down onto his lap and cradled her against him.
“We can spare a few minutes. The tree won’t die yet.” He laughed. “You do realize it’s already on its way to dying?”
She turned in his arms to frown at him. “I don’t want to think about that.”
Dom leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose. “You are much too sweet at times, Caris.”
She wrinkled her brow. “Only at times?”
He laughed again. “Sometimes, you’re a royal pain in the—”
“So are you, mister.”
He shrugged. “You like it.”
She giggled. “Maybe.”
“I know what else you like.” His tone had turned seductive.
She tensed, anticipating the feel of his lips on hers. Yearning for it, even. “Yes?”
“Snowballs,” he said as he ground a handful of snow into her face.
She drew in a shocked breath, gasping as snow fell into her mouth. The next thing she knew, she was sprawled on the ground, using her arms to block her head from a barrage of snowballs. “Dom,” she gasped. “Quit. I’m going to—” She sputtered on a mouthful of snow, then grabbed a handful of snow and gained her feet. With all her might, she tossed the wet mass at him, and it disintegrated against his jacket. She giggled and struck again. Then she saw the size of the snowball he was compacting, and turned to flee.
“No fair hiding,” he called out after her.
She stifled a giggle and ducked behind a large tree. She could hear his footsteps crunching in the snow as he got closer, and she decided to be on the offensive. As he was about to discover her hiding place, she jumped out and lunged at him, knocking him onto the snow-covered ground. His snowball fell and broke apart. She laughed. “I win.”
“I don’t think so.” He flipped her over, pinning her beneath him. “Now I have you right where I want you.”
Her voice turned sultry. “What will you do with me?”
Dom lifted a strand of hair escaping from the stocking cap. “Your hair’s soaked with snow, and tiny ice crystals are forming. I’ll have to take you home and warm you up.” The way his lips curved at the corners of his mouth ruined his woeful expression.
She bit her lip as her desire warred with caution. “Couldn’t you warm me up right here?”
His expression grew more serious, and he leaned forward to kiss her. The warmth of his mouth was a shocking contrast to the icy cold snow she laid on. Caris opened her mouth and threaded her gloved hands through his hair. She arched against him, and shivered. She didn’t know whether it was the snow or his touch that made her tremble.
He lifted his head with a sigh. “It’s too cold.” He stood up and held out a hand for her.
She stood up beside him. “I suppose.”
“On the bright side, you won’t be cold when we lug that tree back to the truck.” Hand in hand, they walked back to the tree, each taking a side of the rope and beginning to drag.
Halfway to the truck, breathless and flushed, Caris asked, “Why didn’t you park closer?”
“Why didn’t you pick any of the close trees I suggested?”
“I wanted everything to be perfect.” And, strangely enough, despite their exertions and the cold temperature that was at odds with the sweat dripping down her back, the moment was perfect.
Their tree was a big hit with Elena. Jessica loved it too, or so Elena claimed. “You can see it in her eyes,” she insisted when they teased her about the baby’s pleasure. It was only when she threatened to leave them out of decorating that they stopped teasing her.
Caris began to see why Dom wasn’t as thrilled with the tradition as she was. He was stuck going into the attic to retrieve the ornaments, lights, and other decorations, a task that required three trips. Then he got the thankless job of trimming the tree enough to fit in the stand while Caris and Elena supported it.
When the hard work was finally finished, the bare tree stood in all its glory in the seldom-used “entertaining parlor”, as Elena called it. She had said it was the only room large enough to accommodate their tree and was also where they entertained guests during the Christmas party.
“I’ll make the cocoa and bake the cookies while you kids get started,” Elena said. “Don’t forget to include Jessica,” she called over her shoulder as she left the room, leaning heavily on her cane.
“She’ll be back soon,” Dom said as he began to disentangle the various lines of lights. “She’ll make instant cocoa and bake those sugar cookies you cut off the roll. She doesn’t have the strength or stamina to do it the old-fashioned way anymore.”
Caris knelt beside him, trying to find the other end of the lights so they could work toward each other. “How long has she been like this?”
“Since I can remember. She has a rare form of arthritis that strikes when a person’s young and gets progressively worse. It’s called Ankylosing Spondylitis.”
She came to a stubborn knot and bit her lip, trying to work through the mess. “Is that why she couldn’t have more children after you?”
His eyes widened. “She told you about that?”
“A few days after you told me when we went to the zoo.”
He grimaced and shook his head. “I’d forgotten. I’m getting old.” Dom winked at her.
Caris rolled her eyes, but let his comment pass. “She also told me a bit about your family.”
“Including my half-brother, Brendan?”
She forced her hands to remain steady when he said his brother’s name. “A little.” She dared to look at him and was disconcerted to find him watching her avidly.
He returned to her question. “Yeah, that’s why. It was a miracle when she had me. She really wasn’t strong enough.”
“I’m glad she did.” Caris blushed when the words flew from her mouth. “Without you, who would be taking care of Jessie?”
“Anyone but Brendan,” Dom said fervently.
She licked her lips. “Do you think her mother was a better choice than Brendan?”
He
hesitated before nodding. “I’m sure she was.”
“Why did you change your mind? When I first came here, you thought she was a terrible mother.”
He shrugged. “I’ve had time to reevaluate my opinion. Maybe she lost the baby through circumstances beyond her control.”
Her heart fluttered with hope when she met his eyes. “Maybe,” she whispered and turned her attention back to the lights. “Why in the world didn’t you put these back in their boxes last year?”
“Where’s the fun in that?” He grinned. “This is all part of the joy of Christmas.”
Three hours later, their work was finished. The beautifully decorated Christmas tree was the center of attention in the spacious room. Jessica cooed when Dom held her up and walked around the tree so she could see every angle. She reached for several ornaments and quickly grew less enchanted when she realized the pretty baubles were not for her to play with.
“You did a marvelous job,” Elena said from her seat on the plush sofa. “You’ll have to pick the tree every year, Caris.”
“I may not be here next year,” she said with a catch in her throat, looking down at the mauve carpet.
Dom took her hand and pulled her into a hug. “Yes, you will.”
Standing there with him, in the presence of the McNeil family, she believed his solemn declaration. Somehow, she would find a way to stay. For the first time ever, she felt like she was home.
Chapter Ten
Tuesday, the four of them drove to the Gateway Mall to do their shopping. They each went separate ways, agreeing to meet by the Santa display in two hours. Dom took Jessica, and Caris and Elena met up in the toy store almost an hour later.
Caris’s cart was already half-filled. She had picked out a soft teddy larger than Jess, a couple of educational toys, and a doll. Elena’s cart was in much the same shape. “She’s going to be spoiled rotten,” Caris said as they walked down the aisle of toys meant for babies.
“It’s her first Christmas.” Elena reached for a Glow Worm wearing a pink outfit. “One time won’t hurt.”
