“I hate to break up the party but I have to be home by ten.” I shrugged and sighed. I really wanted Olivia to take me home by herself and if we got back to their house soon enough she could.
“Take the car,” her mother said. “I’ve got damage control anyway.”
“Mom,” Olivia looked up.
“It’s fine,” she said, standing. Olivia stood up too. “Have Avery drive though, and drink water.” She dug through her bag and pulled a water bottle out. “Stay if you must.”
If you must…
We didn’t even need an excuse.
Her mom pulled her in and hugged her. “Don’t you ever work something like that up in your head again,” I heard her say. “I may be obnoxious and cruel and self-centered but I do care about you Olivia. I do.”
“I know,” Olivia said. But I knew Olivia didn’t really know.
“Go on,” her mom said. “Avery,” she stopped me.
“Yes?”
I felt her hand on my face as she pulled me in and placed a kiss on my forehead, hugging me close. “Thank you,” she said. That was all.
“Oh, o-kay,” I stuttered, letting her hug me and patting her on the back. “I don’t know what I did but you’re welcome.”
“Just love her,” she said, moving to let us go.
“I swear.” I bit my lip to keep from tearing up.
“Come on,” Olivia said, pulling me gently away.
We made it out to the valet stand in silence but once we were in the car and driving I had to speak.
“Well, that went better than we thought.”
“It did,” she said. But she was holding her head and staring off.
“Are you okay?” I thought she would be happier but maybe she was just tired.
“I am,” she said, looking over at me with tears in her eyes. She tried to smile but she was crying. I felt her hand in mine, squeezing it. “I just really didn’t think that would be okay,” she cried, crawling to lay on my lap to be held. She was coming down from it all.
“It’s okay.” I smoothed her hair with my free hand and smiled down at her. “We’re going to be okay.”
I could barely believe it myself. The clouds over our minds had lifted and we were now in a great spot. Two out of four parents on board. Of course it was the moms. Probably the best ones to have.
“I love you,” she said quietly. She looked like she might be ready to just sleep.
“I love you too,” I whispered, letting her rest.
I had the whole fifteen minutes to think about everything. Shock was still my predominant feeling. I hated to think about it but maybe we would figure out how to go to Stanford together. It would be perfect.
I got close to my house but I didn’t want to stop. I checked my phone. We had ten minutes so I parked on the side of the road in front of the house. Olivia didn’t move so I just looked down at her. I didn’t want to wake her but I wanted to kiss her before I had to go in.
“Vi,” I prodded.
“I’m awake,” she said, surprising me. “I just don’t want you to go.”
“I don’t want to go.” I smoothed the back of my fingers down her cheek.
“Do you want me to wait? I might just sleep here on your street all night. Just to stay close to you.”
“No, you should go home. I don’t want you to just sit out here. I’d be afraid something would happen.” It was a safe neighborhood but I still did have an irrational fear of losing her in some tragic accident or murder.
“So…” She said. “We’re doing this?”
She sat up and gave me space.
My entire body felt wrong. I could hardly speak. I felt on edge and a little empty. “I guess,” I frowned and felt myself shift toward her.
“You were great today,” she said, looking over at me and staring. “You’re always great,” she cocked a sad smile, sniffling just a bit.
“No, you’re the one who was great,” I smiled and bit my lip. “That hot tub sex was insane.”
I had to think of something happy. “Listen, call me when you get ready for bed. We can talk until we fall asleep and then you should pick me up and we can have breakfast. We have one whole day left before the stupid starts again.”
“Okay,” she laughed. “Deal.”
I leaned across the console and pulled her in. “Soon, we will never have to worry about this again.” I kissed her softly and parted her lips with my tongue, taking it slow so I could remember. When I pulled back she looked so sad. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she replied.
The alarm on my phone went off, making me jump. I’d set it that morning. I took one deep breath, kissed her quickly and then turned to jump out of the car, taking off for the front door.
I looked back once to see her staring out the window at me. I kissed my hand and blew over it in her direction and then I turned to go inside. It was our first night apart. We could do it but being so used to being with each other, it would be hard.
Chapter Sixteen
Olivia
It’s weird…
Somehow I knew we couldn’t stay together tonight. I knew it when she first offered. I knew it the second time too.
Still, her leaving now really hurts.
She wants me to call her when I get home but all I want to do is just stay here and fall asleep.
She’ll get mad if I stay.
I have to go.
Don’t offer if you can’t deliver…
Outside her house, I remember my own annoying words.
Sometimes I’m convinced I’m too sensitive to deal with people.
Today has been one of those crazy days that has me knowing that to be true. Either I’m overly sensitive or I’m overly callus. There’s no in-between and I can’t change it or control it.
I’m hard on everyone I know. Hard to take, hard to understand, hard to love…
I crawled over into the driver’s seat and started the car. My mom had been cautious about asking me not to drive but the wine glasses were small and The Inn had barely filled them. I only got a sip of my dad’s drink. I wanted more.
I needed to be better for everyone.
The drive home consisted of me inwardly chastising myself.
When I pulled into the garage and closed the door I sat in the dark for a while before going inside.
I’d probably have a talk with my parents again soon but I wasn’t ready. My mom was right. When Avery communicated for me we got along fine.
It was me…
I was the problem…
I had to wonder how long that’d been true…
There were certain things my parents did that were wrong, certain ways they treated me, but I didn’t speak up like tonight and yesterday, I never spoke up.
Unless they read my mind they couldn’t know.
I took the stairs slowly, hating that I was alone.
In my room, I locked the door and stripped slowly, leaving it all on the ground.
I briefly caught glimpse of the remainder of that picture, just Natalie’s face.
Nobody deserved the way I treated them and all of a sudden that was all I could feel.
I turned the lights off and tucked myself up into bed.
No clothes. Just my phone.
I laid there, tears threatening.
I felt so naked all of a sudden. Not my body. Just everything else.
I tucked my phone beneath the pillow and hugged it, finally letting it all go.
Soon as I started to cry though I heard my ringtone.
I picked it up and saw, it was Avery.
I laughed.
“I couldn’t wait,” she said.
“Not a moment's peace,” I joked. Relief flooded me. At this point I was very much scared of myself.
I hung onto the phone and just listened.
“So… Watcha doin’?” Her voice came singsong through the speaker.
“Trying not to freak out,” I confessed. “How about you?”
�
�Trying not to freak out.”
I could hear her adjusting the phone. “My dad said something weird when I got here.”
“What?” I didn’t like the sound of that.
“He wants you to come here for breakfast tomorrow. I think he wants to get to know you.”
“What?” I laughed. “Guess your mom got to him,” I sighed.
“Yeah, he said they had a long talk on the phone and she convinced him to back off and try to accept it. He even said he was more afraid of losing me forever than of what he didn’t understand.”
“Sweetie…” The air left me again. It was about time they started realizing how precious she was. “I’m glad he feels that way,” I said, swallowing my bitterness.
“Me too but it is weird that he keeps hugging me. I’m not sure if I like it.” She laughed and sighed. “But what about your dad. Did he say anything?”
“They’re not home,” I said. “And I’m not ready to talk…” Ever.
“Okay, well that’s fair.” I could hear the doubt in her voice. “Listen, I know this breakfast thing is a bummer but I promise that I’ll take you out somewhere excellent tomorrow night if you just bear with the most awkward man in the world for a few hours.”
“Oh. No, I meant, I’m not ready to talk to my dad,” I said. “I want to try with your dad. Of course. That’s different. And I get why you’re having a hard time accepting his affection. Avery, I think this is the most either of our parents have paid attention to us in years.”
“Kind of sad, isn’t it?”
“It is…”
“On a lighter note… What are you wearing?”
I laughed.
“You laugh but I’m over here waiting with bated breath,” she joked.
“What do you think I’m wearing?” I teased.
I’d only gotten naked ‘cause I was sick of myself… I guess this would be a fun little bonus to tease her with though. Secretly I felt proud for the show I gave her earlier with her picture. I wanted her to know I thirsted for her that much.
“I want to say nothing but probably what you wore to dinner without the heels.”
“You were right the first time,” I said. “I felt sick with myself. First thing I did was strip down, turn the light off and slide right into bed.”
“Okay, first yay and second why were you sick with yourself?”
“Everyone around me deserves better,” I said.
“I hate to argue with you but I’m going to have to right now. There is nothing better for me than you.”
“I’m just not good at communicating. My mom was right. Between yesterday and today I’ve been more open about my life than they’ve ever seen. And with you I started open Avery. With you I’m a mess. I vacillate between joking and going mute, no middle ground, no in-between. You just have to guess what I’m feeling and it’s always complicated. It’s not right. How many times do I freakout or close-up on you within a single day? You must really like your girls crazy because I am really in the cuckoo’s nest. There’s no cure.”
“Wait up. That’s not true,” she hurried to fix me. “You talk to me a lot about what you’re feeling and we both freak out. Seriously, we’ve both been damaged and are not sure about some things but that’s okay because we work it out. I’ve freaked out on you just as many if not more times. So, I don’t think that’s a valid argument. Also, it’s a process. We will both get better at it.”
“I’m not trying to argue,” I said. “I don’t want that.”
“I know you’re not trying to argue but you just insulted my fiancé,” she joked.
“Get over here please,” I teased. “I don’t think I should be alone.” I’d never been like this before. Never this upset about being alone.
“Me either. I’m kind of pissed about it. I hate that I have this gross feeling in my chest but I know when I see you again it’ll go away. I’m two seconds from jumping in my car.”
“You don’t even have your car,” I reminded. We’d left it at the park. Avery couldn’t even get to me if she wanted to.
“I’d run,” she hurried to rationalize another way.
“Don’t tease me.” I hated when she talked like this. I could easily see her doing all the things that she said she could do. It made me sad when it didn’t happen.
“Give me forty-five minutes,” she said.
I could hear rustling in the background.
“Avery?”
“Yeah babe?”
“Are you kidding or serious?”
“I guess you’ll see in forty-five.”
Fuck.
I didn’t want her in the dark alone. I didn’t want her scaring me like this.
She didn’t even give me an option to pick her up.
And she could be kidding… But I don’t think she’s that cruel.
“Olivia,” she said. Her voice came clear but a little labored over the line.
“Yeah?” I’d thought she’d hung up.
“I’m not kidding.” Then I heard the beep indicating that the call was over.
My heart swam. I felt butterflies. She was evil alright.
She just wanted to torture me apparently and torture herself in the process. Was she really running here? What a fucking weirdo.
A cute one.
I suddenly didn’t know what to do.
Should I get dressed? Should I fix my room up?
Should I get her some water for when she comes inside?
I got up and turned the light on. No sense wallowing in the dark, my Juliet was coming for me.
I stepped in my closet and pulled out a black silk robe and tied it around myself.
When I came out I put all my clothes and shoes together in one big pile and hid it behind the closet door.
I left my room with my phone in hand and went downstairs to wait for my crazy love.
My parents still weren’t home. Usually this late, when I came home, they’d be together and laughing in low-light, either with strangers out on the patio or in the living room off to the back of the first floor. They never used the drawing room really and that was the room closest to the front. It was kind of hilarious that we even had it. It was so pretty but so underappreciated. I caught sight of it as I ventured down the stairs. No sounds were heard as I walked to the kitchen and pulled a chilled bottle of wine from the fridge and poured myself a large glass.
I made my way to the front door and opened it, walking out onto the steps and sitting down.
It was quiet and dark. I heard crickets.
The air was cold but I sat and waited, not caring.
Eventually I heard panting from a distance as Avery came up the drive.
I stood, beside myself.
“You’re so stupid,” I smiled, seeing her sweaty in her cute exercise clothes. “I could’ve picked you up.”
“Yeah,” she puffed, putting her hands on her head. “But then I wouldn’t have gotten my six miles in.” She grinned back at me, such a cruel little thing.
“I don’t like you running at night,” I said. “Or alone.” I walked the rest of the way to her and offered her my wine.
Instead, I felt her arm wrap around my waist as she pulled me in and kissed me. I was suddenly reminded of how very naked I was underneath the light fabric of my thin robe.
Without much trying she instantly took my breath away.
“Are you staying,” I asked, once I’d braced myself enough to shape words. “Or did you just come here to tease me?”
“I’m staying,” she said. She pressed her body into mine. “I like what you’re wearing.”
“I’m not wearing much,” I teased back, breathless. Avery was the one who had run several miles but I felt oddly out of air. Being with her always did that. She stole from me somehow without meaning to. I wondered if she even knew.
“I noticed,” she replied. “Are they still not home?”
“Still gone,” I said, loving her. When she was around I couldn't help but stare.
“The
n, let’s go upstairs. I have till at least five till I need to be back.”
“K,” I said, biting my bottom lip as my gaze focused intensely on her lips. I felt her hand tug me and pull me up the stairs to the door. “Do you want a drink or something?” I didn’t keep many things in my room and it’d be better if I got things now instead of when my parents got home.
“I want this,” she said, kissing me. I felt her dip me and pull my leg up, brushing my thigh with her hand and giving me goosebumps.
“Okay,” I laughed. I still had my wine in my hand. She must’ve been excited, she was hyper and for once I liked it.
“I’m all sweaty though. So, I might need to cool down so I don’t gross you out.”
“I like your sweat,” I said, breathing her in. I wanted to lick her skin and taste it but we weren’t in the room yet so I held myself back.
When we finally got inside the room I locked the door and set my wine down. But then I felt her tug at my waist from behind and practically throw me down on the bed.
“Whoa,” I said. More surprised than frightened. I always forgot how strong she was. When she reminded me, it turned me on.
“You do, huh?” She crawled up the bed and started to untie my robe. My hands went down to help her but she stopped me, grabbing my wrists and putting them in one of her hands. She pushed them up above my head and kept them there while she pulled the robe the rest of the way open.
My heart was racing. She was hot like this. I felt her keeping me but I wanted her too.
“Should I be scared?” I asked, not fighting her.
“Maybe, but only if you’re scared of really awesome orgasms.”
“Yeah,” I said, searching my brain. “I don’t think I’m scared of those.” In fact I knew I welcomed them.
I wanted to fight just to take off her clothes. But she had me down and I felt vulnerable for her.
“Stay,” she ordered and released my hands so that she could take her ballcap off and toss it to the floor and then toss her hoodie. Underneath she was wearing a tank top and a sports bra. She pulled the tank off but left the bra on.
“Now, what should I do to you?” She looked over me mischievously.
“You never tell me,” I said, holding my hands above my head and wanting her to touch me again.
I thought about moving just to see what she would do. She’d undone my robe but she hadn’t pulled the fabric off me yet, I was still rather modest for the time being.
Paper Dolls [Book Two] Page 20
