Brett snarled. “Get the fuck out. Now. I hate you. I fucking hate you. Both of you,” Brett screamed. He grabbed hold of the nearest table and flipped it over, the contents crashing to the floor. “Out. Now.”
Kane hurried over to us and grabbed hold of Brett’s shoulders but he fought him off. I stood there frozen in place and before things could get worse, I mentally smacked myself.
Taking control of the situation, I grabbed onto Brett’s suit jacket. “Come with me. Now,” I said with as much force as I could muster.
He looked down at me, his nostrils flaring. Something at that moment changed. I fell into the depths of his dark stare, captivated by what I saw. He was looking at me like he could see into my soul, see into my being at that very second.
I didn’t know how I could tell but I knew he needed me in a way I never thought was possible.
“We’ll be back for you and your little whore, Brett. I’ll show her what a real dick feels like.”
I cringed and looked behind me, watching Diane and her gross pervert of a husband being ushered out of the club by Kane.
I realized then that I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have broken eye contact with Brett because when I looked back at him, I saw something in him that I never thought I would see. Fear.
FIFTEEN
I swallowed hard and grabbed Brett’s hand, dragging him away from the onslaught of the viewers around us. My body vibrated like the tension from him was pouring into me.
Once reaching his office, I let go of him and the door slammed behind me.
I looked at him over my shoulder and gasped.
His eyes were black, cold as ice as he slowly sauntered towards me. His back hunched over slightly like he was waiting for me to bolt so he could catch me. I was the prey and he was my predator.
“I need you,” he growled, taking a step towards me. His voice. Oh God, his voice. Deeper than ever before. The vibrato travelled over me, caressing my skin.
I swallowed hard and glanced down at the massive erection in his pants. “Brett…” I shook my head. As much as I always wanted him, this was way too inappropriate. “This isn’t the time. You need to calm—”
In a quick move, he closed the distance between us and wrapped a hand around my throat. His nostrils flared, his chest rising and falling with ragged breath. “It’s always the time, Evvie.” The way he snarled my name let me know that this was going to be a fight. I didn’t understand the need for sex that controlled him. I wanted to help him but I couldn’t deal with the guilt he faced. Whenever he fucked me after his nightmares, he closed up. What if one of these days he closed up completely?
“Brett…
His jaw ticked, his grip on my throat tightening. “I can’t fucking…I can’t deal with this. I need inside you.”
My stomach clenched at the desperation in his voice. Since the first time he saw his mother a couple of weeks ago, the sex was intense. But nothing compared to this.
“We…we should talk,” I said, grabbing onto his wrist.
“No,” he growled and gripped my shoulders.
I gasped as his fingers dug into my skin. My pulse raced. I didn’t know this man standing in front of me but I had to stand my ground. He would thank me for it later. “Brett, stop.”
He backed me up against the wall and brushed his nose along the side of my neck. “I know you’re turned on. I can fucking smell how wet your pussy is.”
My jaw tensed. “You need to—”
Brett crashed his mouth to mine, shoving his tongue into my mouth in a rough stroke.
I opened to him instinctively until a small voice sounded in my head. Stop him, Evvie. He’ll thank you later.
I bit his bottom lip igniting a deep snarl from the back of his throat.
He released me, his tongue grazing over the small cut in his lip. His eyes narrowed, turning darker than night.
I darted around the couch and gasped when a heavy body tackled me to the ground. Struggling under his hold, I pushed to my knees when my legs were pulled out from beneath me. “Brett, stop. Please.”
My panties were ripped off of me, my skirt hiked up to my waist and although the timing was so fucking inappropriate, I was turned on like never before. This couldn’t happen. Not like this. He was somewhere else. Rage took control of his body.
Brett grabbed my hands, holding them above my head and breathed hard against my neck.
I pulled out of his grasp and turned onto my back.
His hands were rough, needy as he towered over me.
I fought against his hold, my heart racing at the adrenaline pumping through me. “Brett,” I said in a firm voice.
He pulled me under him and licked up the side of my neck.
Using all of my strength, I pushed him but he was too strong for me. Bile rose to my throat. Please God, help me stop him. “Brett, stop now dammit,” I cried.
He kissed his way up to my mouth, the sound of a zipper lowering.
My stomach cringed and I pushed him again. Shoving him with all my might, I geared up and slapped him.
He shook his head, momentarily dazed. His eyes that were dark before slowly lightened like my slap had shocked the rage out of him.
My chest rose and fell, my palm stinging.
He looked down between us, assessing his actions and what he had done.
My gaze followed his. My clothes were wrinkly from his touch, his belt and zipper were undone.
“Fuck me,” he whispered.
Tears stung my eyes.
“I…you said stop. I wasn’t going to stop,” he mumbled. His shoulders tightened, his breathing picking up. “Shit…I…”
I frowned as small bursts of air left his lips. “Brett?”
He gripped the collar of his shirt, ripping it open. The top four buttons flew to the floor, pinging off the carpet. “I can’t…I can’t breathe.”
I sat up and pushed him onto his hunches. Cupping his face, I stared into his eyes. “Breathe with me. Deep even breaths.”
“I was…I almost…I didn’t stop…” he said in between breaths.
“Brett, breathe with me,” I said, my voice firm.
Tears welled in his eyes. “I needed you too bad. God, Evvie…I’m…”
“Stop.” A lump formed in my throat, bile burning my tongue. I took deep breaths and he mimicked my movements.
He grabbed my wrists, rubbing his thumbs slowly over my pulse points. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated over and over again.
I leaned my forehead against his. “It’s done, Brett.” Would he have stopped if I didn’t slap him?
His breathing became calm. “Fuck, Evvie. I’m so sorry.” His voice cracked. “Shit.”
I shook my head. “What happened, Brett?” I croaked.
He released me and righted his pants. His body shook, tremors wracking through him. With a shaky hand, he scrubbed it down his face and squeezed his eyes shut like he was trying to ignore what was going on his head.
My heart shattered into a million pieces. I was losing him. Before my very eyes, he was pulling away and I didn’t know how to fix it. The man that came at me wasn’t the man that I fell in love with. This man was broken, damaged, a dark reflection of himself.
I took a breath, easing my racing heart and cupped his cheeks.
He jumped under my touch, his eyes focusing on my face. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
He had mentioned before that he was worried he would hurt me but nothing came of it since the last time he saw his mother. Our nightly baths had calmed us both and it helped but now that he saw her again, all that hard work blew up in our faces.
“Talk to me,” he said, swallowing hard.
“I don’t…I don’t know what you want me to say.” My emotions were all over the place. I didn’t know how to react to what had just happened but I knew I couldn’t leave him alone. Something told me that he needed me on a deeper level than I ever imagined. A level that was just revealed a moment ago when he attacked me.
“Tell me you forgive me. Tell me you still love me. Tell…” He closed his eyes and gripped my wrists in a tight hold. He pulled me onto his lap, hugging me against him. “I’m sorry.” He repeated those words over and over until his voice turned raw.
“You scared me,” I said softly.
His breath caught before he let it out in a heavy sigh. “I know. God, I know.”
“Talk to me. Please,” I begged, brushing a hand through the hair at his nape.
“I’m scared,” he whispered. “I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’ve been fine but…since my mother came back…I’m a fucking mess and then tonight…it stirred up memories.”
I leaned back and gripped his shirt.
“No, touch me. Please,” he pleaded, grabbing my hand and putting it against his thick neck.
My heart stuttered.
“I need the feel of your skin on me.” His eyes fluttered closed, his body relaxing.
I rubbed my thumb back and forth, his pulse beating under my touch. “It’ll take time but we’ll deal with it. With her.” And her creepy husband that made me sick to my stomach.
Brett shook his head, landing his blue gaze on me. “I’m a mess.” He pointed to his temple. “In here. I don’t know what’s going on, Evvie but being inside you is the only thing that calms me. You’re my safe place. My center. I can’t…” His jaw clenched. “You keep me grounded.”
I took a breath. “That’s what I’m here for. To help you.”
He huffed. “No. You don’t fucking get it.”
He moved to get up but I latched onto him, cupping his face in my hands. “Then make it so I do. Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in here,” I demanded and brushed a finger over his forehead.
“I…I wanted you so bad. It was like I was looking down at myself, not really understanding what I was doing.” He looked away. “I could see the fear in your eyes, Evvie.”
My breath caught. “I’m sorry.”
“No. Don’t be. You have every right to be fucking scared of me,” he said, his jaw clenching.
“How are we going to fix this?” I asked softly.
“When I see her, I get so worked up, the only way I can calm myself is by fucking you.” His breath caught. “I can’t control it. I’m losing my mind.”
“You should talk to someone,” I suggested.
He didn’t respond but leaned his forehead against mine.
“Brett…”
He cupped my cheeks and reined kisses on my face. “I love you. I fucking love you so damn much. If I ever hurt you like that, I…I would never be able to forgive myself. I’m a…I’m a monster.”
“No,” I snapped and pushed out of his hold. “You are not a monster. Don’t even think that. You won’t hurt me. What happened just now was intense and yes, it s-scared me but…”
“But what?” he asked softly.
“I’m more scared for you. I feel like I’m losing you slowly. I’m not a doctor but I know that your mother is a trigger for this rage inside of you.” A tear rolled down his cheek and I brushed it away with my thumb. “I love you. You. Yes, what your mother and that man did to you is disgusting and unforgivable but who fucking cares about them? This is about you. You, Brett,” I said, shoving a finger against his chest.
He let out a shaky breath. “That’s why I moved. To get away from her. This rage I feel has never been this bad. I thought I was over it.”
“You can’t get over something like that, Brett, but you can learn to deal with it. I’m here and I’m going to help you.”
Brett wrapped his arms around my shoulders, squeezing me tight like I was his life line. “I don’t deserve you. Any part of you.”
“Stop. We deserve each other. You’re stuck with me,” I said, trying to ease the tears that were burning my eyes.
“I love you. I don’t know where I’d be without you, Evvie. I…” He leaned his forehead against mine and sighed, the tears now rolling freely down his face.
Seeing him cry was one of the hardest things I had ever experienced. My big bad possessive boyfriend, emotional and distraught. It broke my heart and I don’t think I would ever forget the image of him breaking before me out of my head.
His finger brushed down my arm. “You’re my center, Evvie. Without you, I couldn’t deal with this. With me. It’s like a furious battle of control deep inside of me. That’s why there was all the women.”
Jealousy burned through my stomach but that was over. His past.
“I need to be controlling during sex. I swore to myself that I would never allow someone to force me to submit again…until I met you. I…I think I need help.”
My breath caught. I never wanted to see him submit again. “We’ll get you help.”
“Thank you,” he whispered. “Just…thank you.”
I nodded and swallowed past the hard lump in my throat. How was I going to get him the help he needed? Every time he saw his mother and that man now, would he need sex to calm himself? What if it went further? What if he hurt himself? What if I wasn’t enough?
“Stop.”
I frowned. “What?”
“Stop over thinking. We’re in this together,” he said, using my words. “You’re mine, lover. Only you. You are enough for me.”
At that point I let the tears fall freely down my face. “How…how did you know what I was thinking?”
He pinched my chin and placed a soft, tender kiss on my mouth. There was nothing sexual in the least about it. It was pure raw love. A claiming. An ownership. He was letting me know that I was his. That I was enough.
I think I fell in love with him all over again.
SIXTEEN
A couple of nights after we saw his mother and stepdad, Brett and I walked into The Red Love, before it opened. Things had been off since he saw them but cooled down a touch. He was timid around me, like he thought the wrath of his rage would take control again and he wouldn’t be able to stop it. I tried reassuring him but that hadn’t worked.
“Wait,” Brett said, stopping me in my tracks. “Close your eyes.”
I frowned. “Brett, I don’t really—”
“Close them,” he demanded.
I huffed and did as I was told.
Heavy hands gripped my shoulders and pushed me a couple of steps further into the hallway. “Okay, lover.” He kissed the side of my neck. “Open.”
I opened my eyes and gasped as my gaze fell on the photos lining the hall way. Spotlights centered above each large black and white canvas. The pictures…of me…of us…tears welled in my eyes.
“What do you think?” he asked, grabbing hold of my hand.
I shook my head. “They’re beautiful.” Each photo had me in a different position with Brett’s large hand touching me in some way. Either with it wrapped around my throat, spread out on my lower belly or holding my bound wrists…it was simply breath taking. The pictures held a hint of sexuality but not enough to be deemed inappropriate. They let the viewer know that the models loved each other on a deeper level that couldn’t be explained by words.
“They’re not as beautiful as the model.”
I smiled and cupped my hands over his.
“But I’m hoping that they capture the love I have for you, Evvie,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around my middle. “I also hope that they inspire someone to find that person. That someone that makes them love…deep.”
My heart thudded. “No one knows that you took them or that it’s us in them?”
“Nope. Not even Kane.”
To have this kind of secret with the man that I loved was thrilling. I couldn’t wait to hear what people thought of them. Whether they liked them or not, the pictures were beautiful and I couldn’t wait to take more.
***
A month had passed since we had heard from Brett’s mom or stepdad. I thought it was strange that people were leaving us alone.
The sound of a door shutting erupted through the small apartment. I stepped out into the
hall and smiled when my gaze landed on Brett standing in the doorway. “Hey, lover boy. I…” My smile faltered when he took a step towards me.
“Run,” he growled.
“Brett?” My voice cracked. My heart hammered, my palms going sweaty at the feral way he stalked towards me. Things had gotten back to normal. Or so I thought.
He leaned his head from side to side, the tendons in his neck cracking.
My mind travelled back to a couple of months ago when he told me to run the first time. The chase was thrilling and the sex was damn near mind blowing but this…this wasn’t the Brett that caught me then. This was the Brett that needed sex to calm himself or else he would lose his mind. Something had happened. Something was wrong.
I didn’t like who he was becoming. Yes the sex was amazing but I was losing him and fast.
“Evvie, if you don’t want me to fuck you here out in the open, I suggest you head to our bedroom.”
My skin hummed and although I hated the feeling of being used, I knew it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t. Was it? It hadn’t been like this in weeks. Every step forward we took, something always set us back. Was it my fault? I promised that I would help him but I hadn’t yet.
I took a breath and headed in the direction of my bedroom but I didn’t run. I needed some sort of control when he got like this.
Sashaying my hips, I pulled off my dress. A hot shiver ran down my spine when I felt him close in on me. I knew he was close. I could feel it. We were connected on a level that wasn’t normal. A level I never even knew existed until meeting Brett MacLean.
“Bend over the edge of the bed.”
I jumped at the deep smooth voice in my ear and did as he said.
A heavy hand fisted my hair, pushing me face first against the mattress. His fingers moved to my core before sinking into me deep.
I moaned, my body clenching around him.
“I’m not going to be gentle,” Brett said, his body shaking like he was trying to hold himself back.
I nodded, words frozen on my tongue. I knew that. I could sense it.
He thrust into me hard, lifting my waist off the bed.
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