“I was,” he confirmed and then used the opportunity to scoop his shirt up and tug it back over his head. How had this not come up before?
“Thirty one and already retired from the Rangers?”
“I’ve been out for a little over a year.” He didn’t seem like he wanted to say much more about it.
I wasn’t a military expert, but I knew enough to know that wasn’t like your basic enlistment. It took time to become a Ranger. They were committed, hardcore guys. James wasn’t a Ranger, he was Special Forces, but I knew they were all along the same lines. It was surprising enough to hear that James was getting out. Emily had been so sure he’d be doing it until either age, injury or death stopped him. Now I was curious about Spencer’s time in the military and reason for leaving. He obviously wasn’t going to open up about it tonight, though.
“I think Saturday just got way more interesting.” There was no denying I had gotten myself in over my head with him. I was probably going to lose, and it was more than likely going to be ugly and messy. Basically I was going to get my ass kicked by an Army Ranger.
His lips curled into a predatory grin that promised as much.
“You weren’t planning on telling me, were you? You were going to let it be your little secret, so that I would believe I actually stood a chance.”
“Hey, you dug your own hole.”
“Yeah, and you handed me the shovel.”
He chuckled. “I’m not going to deny I’m looking forward to next Saturday. Just know I won’t be taking it easy on you.”
“I’d be more pissed if you did.”
“Well then, as much as I would love to keep you all night, you better get inside before Raynes comes out here to check on you. And you’re going to need your rest this week to be ready for Saturday.”
I shifted so that I was facing him with one knee on the seat and my other foot on the floor and I leaned in. His head tilted slightly but he didn’t pull away. I rested one hand against the seat behind him to keep me from falling into his lap and curled the other around the back of his neck. I lightly kissed one cheek and then the other.
“Thank you for tonight,” I murmured, trailing my lips along his jaw to his ear, placing another kiss there.
He grabbed my hip. “What are you doing?” His voice was just a bit ragged.
I skimmed my lips back down his jaw to the corner of his mouth, teasing him with the promise of a kiss. I rested my forehead against his brow, hovering my lips just over his. His fingers dug into my hip tighter.
“Just working on my distraction techniques,” I whispered, before I pressed a quick kiss on his mouth and then pulled back, intending to exit the truck. His arm hooked around my waist before I’d fully turned, and he pulled me back to him. He slammed his lips on mine and slid one hand up into my hair, holding me to him tightly while he took my mouth.
Heat swept through me and I melted into him. I gripped his shoulder with one hand and moved the other to his thigh. He shifted and kissed me harder before breaking the kiss on a groan and pushing me away. “I like the deviousness, sweetheart, but it won’t save you on Saturday. Now you really need to get inside before I say to hell with letting you go.”
“Goodnight Spencer. Thank you for tonight. I had . . . fun,” I smiled. The most fun I’d had on a date in a very long time.
“It was my pleasure.”
I slipped from the truck and hurried to the door. The outer door was unlocked and when I started to fumble with my keys at the inner door, it was pulled open. James was there. I threw one last look over my shoulder and gave Spencer a small wave before he pulled away and then I let James usher me inside.
“From the smile you’re wearing, I’d say tonight went well.” I couldn’t tell from his tone whether he was upset or not. I didn’t want to rub his face in it, but I wasn’t going to lie either.
“Yes. I had a good time tonight.”
He gave me a tight smile and nodded. “Well, I think I’m going to turn in for the night. Glad you had a good time on your date, Nora. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night, James.”
~~~
My fingers clenched around the steering wheel. He wanted her. Thought he could have her. He thought he could take her from me. I slammed my fist against the wheel repeatedly. I wouldn’t let anyone else have her. Especially not now that I’d felt her in my arms, felt her give herself to me, even if it only lasted a moment. I wanted to take her right now, but I couldn’t with him inside like a guard dog protecting something that wasn’t even his, and never would be his.
I still had to make her see. Make her understand that we belonged together. We always had. She was my perfection, my angel, my sweet, sweet rose. I would never again let anyone take her from me. I just had to be patient, but the thought of her in there with him, knowing that he would try to make her his, had me seeing red. My rage grew until I was tempted to slip inside and show them both that she belonged to me. It would be reckless, but I wanted to so badly. She needed to see. She needed to know what she did to me, how crazy she made me.
It was time for one last visit to Dana.
I glanced at the clock on the dash. It was still early in the night; I could easily make it to her before closing time. I hoped she was working tonight. I would wait for her outside the bar just like I had last time, but this time I would take her to my special place.
Sixteen
“I forgot to ask you, what happened with Nathan after we left last night?” I dropped down beside James on the couch with my coffee cup in hand. He’d waited up for me last night, only to say such a quick goodnight, I hadn’t gotten a chance to ask him about the Nathan debacle. I was also desperate to make sure that things weren’t going to be awkward between us now, especially knowing he had to leave so soon.
He set his tablet aside and shrugged. “Not much. He kept yelling about pressing charges and suing, but once you were gone he was out of here pretty fast.”
“You really shouldn’t have hit him.”
“I should have done a lot more than that. He’s a fucking creep Nora, definitely bad news. You need to be filing reports of all of these incidents, so that the next time he crosses the line you can be the one to call the cops and they’ll take it seriously.”
“His pride is hurt. He doesn’t like to lose, but he’ll move on eventually.”
“Yeah? How’s that going so far?”
He had a point, but besides showing up uninvited and pissing me off, Nathan hadn’t done anything wrong. As much as I wanted him to stop, I wasn’t ready to sick cops on him. It seemed a little extreme. If he didn’t take the hint soon, or became more aggressive, then I wouldn’t have a choice.
“Speaking of cops, what do you think is going on with the case? I don’t like that we haven’t heard from Monroe or Parker all week.”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to swing by the station before I have to head out tomorrow. I’m not leaving town until I at least know they’re not sitting around with their thumbs up their asses.”
I had to work a full day tomorrow, so I wouldn’t be able to tag along, but I asked him to stop by the shop before he took off. I wanted to know whatever he found out, if he found anything out, and also the chance to say goodbye. I hated that he was leaving, and that I was having all sorts of mixed emotions about everything he said before I left for my date. The space from him would be good to clear my head, but it was still going to be hard saying goodbye, made even harder by the fact that every time he left, I didn’t know when I’d be seeing him again.
I took my time finishing my coffee, in no rush to get to the shop today. Reggie and Mitch were covering things and it was my last morning to have breakfast with James. I wasn’t sure what I would do when it was just me left to face the quiet house without him or Em.
“Have you thought anymore about going to stay with my parents?” he interrupted my thoughts.
“I appreciate the offer, but I just want to be home in my own house. Who knows how l
ong it will be before this is all over, and I don’t want to rearrange my whole life or anyone else’s.”
He nodded in understanding. “Just promise me you’ll keep Stella with you and your alarm set all the time.”
“I promise.”
He rested his elbows on his knees and hunched forward, letting his head hang. “I hate that I have to leave you.”
“It’ll be alright.” I scooted closer to him on the couch. “I’ll stay safe. You need to worry about making sure you do the same.”
He turned his troubled expression to me. “It’s more than that.” He sat up. “I wish I had more time to convince you to choose me.”
It hurt me to see that pained look on his face as much as it was hurting him. But we both knew that right now my choice was made. I was going to see things through with Spencer. Still, I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and grabbing his hand. “Neither one of us knows what’s going to happen in the next ten months. All we can do is let it play out how it’s meant to.
He jerked his head in a solemn nod.
“And don’t you dare let anything happen to yourself. Okay?”
“I’m invincible, sweetheart. Nothing’s going to take me down,” he winked and I wished it was true. I wrapped my arms around his middle, catching him by surprise for a second before he sat back and tucked me into his side, holding me there.
It was a different feeling than when Spencer took me into his arms last night, but there was still something so right and comforting about being held by James.
It was confusing as hell.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully by the time I went in to work, except for the verbal reprimand I had to dish out to Mitch after Reggie informed me he showed up to work almost an hour late without an excuse. It happened to all of us at some point, but it seemed to happen to Mitch frequently. This was the second time in as many weeks it had happened to Mitch, and it was just one more thing on top of a bunch of little things that were getting harder to look past. His attitude had also taken a serious dive as of lately. I got the feeling it had to do with the foot he already had out the door. Good for him that he was going to be moving on to bigger and better things, but as long as he was still working for me, I expected him to take his job seriously. Instead, he was making everyone else’s job harder because we had to pick up his slack.
The remainder of the day progressed with a building sense of dread in my stomach.
That night, James and I went to his parents’ for dinner, and it was a solemn affair. They didn’t want him to leave anymore than I did, and it was a reminder of the time that had slipped by without bringing Emily home. We all felt like we were failing her.
If possible, the next day was even worse. James visited the station, but left there without learning anything new, which meant it was doubtful they’d made any progress. We stalled and dragged out our goodbyes as much as we could, until he had to go.
He hadn’t been gone two hours when a story broke on the news. Another missing girl. Dana Winters, a bartender in Everett was reported missing. Her boss had made the call to the police when she didn’t turn up to work on yesterday or today. She hadn’t been heard from since Saturday night when she left work after midnight. At this point, what happened to her was only speculation, but everything fit. She was a young, single, red-head, and even though she wasn’t a college student, where she worked made her just as easy of a target. It didn’t look good for Dana.
James called once he’d made it to Fort Lewis and caught the news report. He agreed that Dana was likely the next victim and was pissed that the police hadn’t bothered to mention to him that they’d had reports of another missing girl.
Even if they didn’t have any information about Emily, we deserved to know what was going on with the case. Neither of us were happy that we’d had to find out about this from the news, and having already spoken to his parents, he indicated they weren’t taking it well either. We were all desperate to know if it was the same guy who had Emily, and what was happening to her while all these other girls were being taken and killed, or if something had already happened to her.
The rest of the week was more doom and gloom. It was the only story on the news, and by Wednesday, I couldn’t take it anymore. I kept the TV’s at the shop and at home off the news networks. The evenings were rough, going home to the empty house. A few nights I stayed late at work, catching up on paperwork and reorganizing the office so that by the time I got home, all I did was fall into bed. The only bright side, and it wasn’t so much bright as just mildly positive, was that I narrowed down the applications to one, and after a set of interviews, added a new girl to the team.
Spencer was surprisingly absent all week, which did nothing for my dark mood. As the weekend approached, I wondered if we were still on for Saturday. I was beginning to think not, and then on Friday he finally made an appearance. He walked in with his typical easy smile fastened on me as if he hadn’t stayed away all week. The smile faded when I didn’t return it.
He approached the counter and leaned against it, tilting his head slightly. “Rough day or not happy to see me?”
“More like rough week.” I grabbed a cup and turned, filling it with coffee, and then thrust it at him.
He accepted it reluctantly. “Want to talk about it?”
“Not really. I have work to do.”
He took a look around the quiet shop and then back at me. “Yeah, I can see how busy you are.”
“I have to finish training the new girl on the espresso machine once Reggie’s finished showing her around the kitchen.”
“Reggie isn’t capable?” He didn’t wait for me to respond. “Come on, take a break and get whatever it is off your chest.”
I exhaled my frustration, admitting to myself I was being silly. I wasn’t actually mad at him. It’d been a hard week and having him around would have made it better, but he was here now.
“I’ll have to see if Reggie minds finishing her training.” Of course he didn’t, so Spencer and I claimed a table in the corner where I could still keep an eye on things.
“Where have you been all week?” I asked as soon we sat, not caring if I was giving myself away.
“Is that it? Did you miss me?” There was just a hint of a smile on his lips.
“And if I did?”
A weight settled on his brow, softening his smile. “Then I’d say I’m sorry. I should have called. I had to be out of town for work every day this week. The job I’m consulting on is taking longer than I expected.”
“And will you have to work tomorrow?”
“No. Tomorrow I’m all yours.”
I perked up slightly. I needed tomorrow. I needed the distraction, and I had missed him.
“Now do you want to tell me what else is bothering you? As much as I’d like to believe I affect you that much, I know there’s more to that sad look in your eyes.”
My shoulders sagged and I let out a weary sigh. “I just don’t know how many more times I can turn on the news and hear about another missing girl and see Emily’s picture. Not having any answers, not knowing if she’s okay,” I shook my head. “I just can’t do it. I’m losing it.”
His hand stretched across the table and took mine, entwining our fingers. “The police aren’t getting anywhere with the investigation?”
Another shake of my head.
He gave my hand a squeeze. “I’m sure they’re doing everything they can. You just have to try and stay strong a little longer. These guys always get caught eventually.”
“That’s not necessarily true.”
Spencer and I both turned our heads.
Danny was one of the few customers in the shop this afternoon and he sat at a nearby table. Obviously having overheard our conversation, he now looked on with a grim countenance.
“There are a number of unsolved serial murder cases in the US. The Zodiac Killer was never caught, among many others. And sometimes, even when they are apprehended, it takes years. The Green R
iver Killer was active for nearly two decades before being arrested.”
My stomach rolled and my chest ached at the thought of going years without ever knowing what happened to Emily. I tugged my hand free from Spencer’s and sat back in my seat, struggling to keep it together.
“Was that really fucking necessary?” Spencer growled at Danny, who paled.
“I, uh,” he looked to me, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just– it’s a problem I have, saying the wrong thing. These facts come out, and I forget that sometimes people don’t want the facts.”
“No, it’s okay. It’s the truth, so why shouldn’t you say it?” I muttered weakly.
Spencer shot another glare at Danny, then stood and pulled me up from my seat and tugged me after him into the small alcove by the bathrooms. My eyes were blurring as the real possibility that I would never know what happened to Emily sank in.
“Nora,” Spencer said firmly, snapping my eyes to his. “Don’t give another thought to what he said. The real truth is that none of the facts matter. This case is not those cases. Every case is unique and if you give up hope now, then that’s one more thing this guy gets to take from you, so don’t give it to him.”
I gave him a meek nod, and then he pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me. “You have to believe she will come back. If that’s the only thing holding you together, you just keep hanging onto that. If I know one thing, it is that there is always hope. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, even when you think you’ve lost all reason to hope.”
I clung to him for another minute, letting the heartbeat inside his chest and his welcome scent soothe me, before drawing in a deep breath and pulling away. “Thank you.”
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