His frustration got the better of him after a few minutes and he slammed the laptop closed and placed it back on the table. I knew it was killing him that he couldn’t find the answers we needed tonight.
“When I left Nora Hill behind all those years ago, it was literally like I became a new person.” He turned to listen. “I told myself I wasn’t her anymore, that I could be anyone I wanted. I never looked back. I never thought about Aaron again. I just closed the door on my old life. I never thought it would be re-opened and that my past could come back to hurt me or the people I love.”
“Hey,” he took my chin between his fingers, “don’t you dare start blaming yourself. Of all the things you’re allowed to feel, guilt is not one I will tolerate. Do you understand?”
I nodded and then he shifted us so that we were both stretched out on the couch, my back to his front, his arms around me.
“Tell me this will all be over soon,” I whispered.
“This will all be over soon,” he echoed softly.
“And what happens with us once you’re not working a case here anymore? Where do you even live?”
“Everywhere and nowhere. I go wherever the next job is, but I haven’t stayed in one place very long since getting out of the military. Haven’t wanted to until now.”
I rolled over on top of him so that my hands were on his chest and we were almost nose to nose. “But your job, it takes you all over.”
“It does.”
“For months at a time?”
“Sometimes,” he brushed a few strands of my hair back behind my ear. “But if I had something to come back to, someone to come back to, I might find a reason to work a little faster and get home quicker.”
I rolled my bottom lip between my teeth. “You’d make your home here with me?” I was almost afraid to hope.
“Nora, my home is with you. The only question is whether or not you’ll have me. I know it’s only been a short time, but I’ve lived a life where my next day, hell my next hour, wasn’t ever promised. None of us are guaranteed a second longer than right now, and from the moment I signed my life over to the US government, I’ve been more aware of that than most. I know how to let go of the things that don’t matter and how to fight like hell to hang onto the ones that do. You,” he stroked the backs of his fingers along my cheek, “you’re the one thing I don’t ever want to let go of.”
“I don’t want to let you go either, but I also can’t jump into this when there’s still so much about you I don’t know. I’d need to know more about what exactly it is you’d be doing every time you walked out the door, because I don’t know if I can live knowing every time you leave, you’re putting yourself at risk of never coming back.”
“I wish I could tell you I’d walk away from my job for you, that I’d find something permanent here and be okay with it, but the truth is, I don’t know how to do anything else and I don’t want to. Is it dangerous? Sometimes, but not always. But I’m good at what I do, and what I do, like coming here, it matters. I do what has to be done and sometimes that means crossing a line or putting my ass on the line, but helping people, fighting the battles others can’t, it’s in my blood. I’m not sure I could walk away from it without giving up a part of who I am.”
This man.
Just.
Wow.
I laid my head down on his chest and listened to his strong heartbeat. “I don’t want you give up something that’s such a huge part of who you are. This world needs good men and heroes like you. I don’t want to take you away from the world, but I also don’t know if I’m a strong enough woman to love you and not ask you to give it up. I don’t know if I could live knowing that every time the bullets start flying, you’ll be the guy throwing yourself in the line of fire to save everyone else. I know that makes me selfish, but I don’t know if my heart could be anything but selfish with you.”
He stroked his hand up and down my back, and swept it over my hair. Then it stilled. “I’ll make you a deal.”
I propped myself up on his chest again. He cupped my chin and swept his thumb across my lower lip.
“We get through this, and once the bad guy is caught, I’ll take a month off. We’ll spend as much time together as you want and you can ask me anything you want, about me, about my job. At the end of the month you decide what you want. If you want to say goodbye, then I’ll understand, but if you decide that you want to give us a shot, then you can do it knowing you have my promise that I will do everything I can to make sure I come home to you every time. I need to be a part of my team, but I can step back into a support position on the riskier jobs, and I can cut back on the number of jobs I accept. You will always be my priority. I know it’s still not the kind of guarantee you want, but it’s everything I can give you. So tell me you’ll think about it.”
I nodded and he released my chin, letting me drop my head back to his chest. It wasn’t long before the steady cadence of his heartbeat lulled me closer to sleep. I was struggling to fight it, and then after a few yawns escaped, Spencer sat up, pulling me with him.
I groaned because I wanted to stay how we were, but he dragged me up to my feet and insisted I go to sleep in my bed, not on him. I worried he was going to leave, but after he assured me he was staying, I agreed to go to bed on the condition that he go with me. He tried to argue, insisting he would make his bed on the couch, but I told him if he did that, he’d have to share it, because I would join him.
He was still protesting when we got to my room, but I walked over to the edge of my bed and brazenly untied my robe and let it fall to the floor, leaving me standing before him in nothing but my black, lacy boy shorts and a tiny black tank top. His Adam’s apple bobbed slowly when he swallowed.
I tilted my head and smiled coyly. “Are you going to come to bed or not?”
“Yes ma’am,” he growled, stalking toward me with panther like grace. He hooked a hand around my back and then I was looking up into dark, predatory eyes as he lowered me. When my back hit the mattress, his body was covering mine.
“You cheated.” His teeth scraped softly along my jaw and then he nipped at me. I lifted my hands to his chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath his tee. I tipped my head to the side, exposing the length of my neck and shoulder to him. He accepted my offer, laying kisses across my sensitive flesh. I slid my hands around to his back, raking my fingers down the taught muscles there as he bit down on the spot where my neck and shoulder met. My lips parted, and I sucked in needy breaths.
One rough hand dug into my hip as his lips travelled across my collarbone. My hand slid up his back and tangled in his hair. “If this is your way of convincing me to say yes before the month is up, then it’s you who isn’t playing fair,” I accused, more than a little breathless.
His only response was a low chuckle that breezed over my chest, heating my already flushed skin. He looked up at me through his lashes as he dropped his lips to the center of my breastbone.
“I never promised I would play fair. I told you I fight for the things I want in my life, and if I have to fight dirty, I will.” He proved his point, seductively tasting his way up the column of my throat and along my jaw to my ear, where he tugged my earlobe between his teeth. Every nerve ending in my body pulsed as a wave of need washed over me at that one move. I might have even pulled his hair and let out a girly, satisfied moan.
He pushed himself up on his arms and mine fell to my side. I was sure the desire reflected in his eyes was a mirror image of my own. He took my hands in his, curling his fingers around mine and pressing them into the mattress as his lips found mine. I squeezed back and lifted my head slightly to meet his kiss. He teased and drove me wild with wanting, pressing in and pulling back. Nipping and tasting at my lips, but not giving me what I craved. Every time he pulled back I chased his lips with my own and then he would force me back down with his mouth, only to tease me more. When he’d wound us both up, well and good, with desperation, we came together in a beautiful collision. Softer a
nd sweeter than I expected, so much like the man. The kiss was everything that he was; a little rough and demanding around the edges, but so tender and loving at the same time.
Every inch of his body was pressed to mine, his hips cradled between my legs, and when he rocked forward I couldn’t help but tilt my hips as a bolt of desire shot through me. I bit his lip, and not gently. He groaned, driving his hips forward one more time before he tugged his lip free and pushed himself up, rolling to his back beside me.
His chest heaved up and down and he threw an arm across his eyes, while another deep groan rumbled from his throat. “You’re killing me.”
My own breathing was heavy and ragged, but I still managed a chuckle. “Oh, but what a death it would be.”
“It would.” We both turned our heads sideways to face each other. His serious expression cracked when I failed to hide the smile on my face and then we were both grinning like idiots.
“You need to get under those blankets like right now before I attack you again,” he warned, and though his tone was playful, his eyes were not.
For some reason I thought taunting the beast inside was a good idea and instead of doing as he said, I rose from the bed. “But I need to brush my teeth after that hot chocolate.” I made sure there was a little extra sway in my hips as I sauntered toward the door. I tossed a cheeky grin and wink over my shoulder before slipping from my bedroom and into the bathroom.
When I returned, his eyes were narrowed on me, but a grin played at the corners of his mouth. “Come here.”
He sat on the edge of my bed and I placed myself between his legs. He set his hands on my hips, pulling me in closer. His fingers toyed with the lacy edge of my underwear. I rested my hands on his shoulders and then leaned down to press my lips against the scruff on his jaw. I pushed one hand back through his hair and kissed the spot just below his ear. Then I replaced my kiss with a soft bite and his fingers dug into my hips. I climbed up on to the bed and straddled his lap. His hardness met my softness everywhere that we touched, and as soon as my lips touched his, he lost control, or maybe he took control. I don’t know, but he fell backwards and I tumbled forward coming down on top of him and then we were just a tangle of body parts, our mouths clashing as we both fought for control of the kiss.
When the need had built to the point where once again we either had to stop or a lot more clothing needed to come off, we broke apart and lay breathing heavily, side by side. After a minute he sat up and I watched him strip off his shirt and jeans. Then he leaned back down and placed a quick kiss on my lips before disappearing to use the bathroom.
When he returned, he threw back the covers and climbed into my bed. He tugged me to his side, where he tucked me in and then pulled the blankets over both of us. I threw my arm across his chest and his hand slid down to wrap around my thigh and he hitched it over his leg.
“When our month is up and it’s time for me to make my decision, don’t let me make it while we’re in bed,” I murmured.
“Why not?”
“Because, you could get me to agree to just about anything with that mouth and those hands of yours. I’m not even sure I want to know what else you’re capable of.”
His chest shook softly with laughter. “Then don’t worry. I’ll make sure we have our conversation in bed.”
I smacked his chest, but couldn’t stop my grin.
“Go to sleep, Nora, before you start another fire.”
My grin spread and I couldn’t help myself. I leaned forward and scraped my teeth along his nipple before I gently bit down. He hissed, and his body jerked slightly. His hand slid down to cup my bottom and he squeezed, almost painfully.
“I’m serious. If you can’t behave, I’ll go sleep on the couch. After I teach you a lesson, sweetheart.”
I chuckled and rested my head in the crook of his shoulder. “As tempting as your offer is, I am tired and tomorrow is going to be a busy day, so I guess I’ll behave. Tonight.”
He squeezed me around the waist and then dropped a kiss on my head. “Goodnight, beautiful.”
“Goodnight.”
Twenty-Three
I woke nestled in Spencer’s arms with the overwhelming desire to stay there, possibly forever, but it felt like I was draped over a furnace. His face was still relaxed in sleep and his chest rose and fell steadily beneath me. I worked to smoothly extricate myself from his arms so that I could shut off my alarm before it woke him. Some days, like today, my internal clock beat the alarm. I reached for it on the nightstand and hurriedly turned it off, but when I tried to climb free of the bed, an arm hooked around my waist and dragged me back. A hard, warm body encased me from behind. He buried his face in my hair and let out a sleepy groan. He brushed my wild locks aside and nuzzled my neck before trailing several slow kisses along my bare shoulder.
A contented sigh fell from my lips, “Good morning to you too.”
He rolled me onto my back and positioned himself on his side. He slid an appreciative look down my body and then lifted his eyes to mine.
“Good morning.” His voice was rough with sleep, and I knew it was the first thing I wanted to hear when I woke up every morning. He followed it up with a sweet kiss on my lips.
“If you don’t stop now, I’ll never make it out of bed, and I really need to get ready for work.”
He chuckled and then gave me a playful shove. “Then go on, get ready for work.”
I had to drag myself from his lips and the bed, but today was not a day I could afford to be late.
I had tables to decorate and games to set out. Reggie and I still hadn’t agreed on movie showings. I wanted to do Never Been Kissed, followed by the Wedding Singer and then maybe some Audrey Hepburn films, but Reggie wanted to make it the non-stop Reese Witherspoon show and play Legally Blonde and Sweet Home Alabama. Don’t get me wrong, I love those movies, but it would be enabling his Reese obsession. She was his lady crush. Said he might even go straight for her. Either way it was sure to be a battle today.
Spencer was up and had my coffee brewing and breakfast started by the time I was dressed and out of the bathroom.
“My mind is made up; you can stay forever,” I told him when I accepted the first cup of coffee from him. I took a sip and then inhaled the smell of bacon and eggs cooking.
He laughed and turned his attention back to the stove. “You’re too easy,” he tossed over his shoulder.
I chose not to engage on that one. There was just a little something extra in my step this morning, and for a change it wasn’t the caffeine. I liked having him here in the morning. I liked it a lot.
I liked waking up to his kisses. I liked him cooking breakfast for me in my kitchen in nothing but his boxer briefs and a tee, and I liked sitting down at my counter eating breakfast with him. What I didn’t like was when reality crashed into my perfect morning and he had to remind me to be cautious and trust no one as he walked me out to my car. He planned to shower, in my shower I might add because for some reason I also liked that, and then swing by his motel before following me to the shop.
“Why don’t you just check out of the motel and stay with me,” I offered before climbing into my car. “I know I’ll feel safer with you inside and not watching my house from your car. Besides, you weren’t very stealthy about it anyway. My neighbor saw you parked out front. I’m sure you probably scared any creepers off, but not very effective if you’re hoping to catch someone up to nefarious deeds.”
“What do you mean? When did he see me parked out front?”
“Saturday night when you came back after leaving the first time. Clint, in the house behind me, was coming home from Seattle and saw your car parked out there at two in the morning.”
“Nora, I’ve watched your house a lot of nights, but I didn’t come back here that night, and I’ve never done it parked right out front. You’re right that it’s not very stealthy. I almost slipped up a few weeks ago. It was right after I took the job. I didn’t expect much to come from sitting on your hous
e, so I didn’t bother to hide my truck. I was parked down the block, and that was the night someone was sneaking around in your yard. I don’t know how he got past me, but as soon as I saw shadows moving around in the yard I was out of my truck and going to check it out. Then Kujo came over the fence and he bolted. I tried to go after him, but lost him on the next block.”
Obviously I remembered that night, and I remembered the big truck that drove away shortly after Clint and I checked things out. “So if it wasn’t you parked out front on Saturday . . .” my words faded at the implication of what it meant.
“Black car you said? Did he get a make, model or license plate?”
“No, he circled the block, but whoever it was had taken off. He just said black and sporty. My first thought was Nathan, but he denied it and then I drove by your motel and saw you climbing out of the Mustang.”
He nodded. “I’ve already got Monroe on your ex, but we’ll see if anyone else drives something black and sporty, and in the future, you shouldn’t go snooping around motels at night by yourself.”
“I’ll try not to make it a habit.”
“Funny. You better get to work. I have a few phone calls I need to make, but I won’t be too long.”
“Okay, I’ll see you soon, then.” I leaned up on my toes and kissed him, before climbing into my car and pulling out of the drive.
Reggie arrived at the shop at almost the same time I did, and as expected, while we draped tables with the sparkly red covers and flowers, we argued chick flicks. In the end, we came up with a compromise of movies that satisfied both of us.
“You gave in awfully easy,” Reggie was eyeing me suspiciously as we dressed the last table. “And dare I say, was that a smile I saw on your face a few minutes ago? Someone is in an extra chipper mood, which seems a contrast to when I last saw you. Since it was only yesterday, someone has some ‘splaining to do.”
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