For the first few hundred yards, Kayla could see the synchronized movements of the crew rocking back and forth, the oars entering and leaving the water in perfect time with each other. With each stroke, the boats appeared to shoot forward in the water only to rock back a pace before starting the whole movement again. Kayla was mesmerized by the motion. It was like a dance where the partners moved in patterned rhythm together, flowing with the controlled beat of the music produced by the commands of the coxswain and the lapping of the oars through the water.
The boats passed from view and all she could make out was the flicker of the sun hitting the spoons of the oars. She waited with bated breath for the announcement of the winner. She trained her gaze back on Jackie, watching her anxious movements as she stood with a hand on one hip, the other cast over her eyes peering through the dazzling sun.
Announcements were made and Kayla saw the disappointment in Jackie’s posture as she registered the loss. Her head dropped for a moment as she stared at the ground. She lifted her head toward Kayla and shrugged as if to say, You can’t win them all.
Kayla smiled vaguely in answer.
“What happened?” Kayla asked as Jackie approached.
Jackie plopped down on the grass beside her and leisurely lay back on her elbows. “I’m not sure yet. It sounds like they lost momentum in the last fifty meters and couldn’t keep up. I’m not sure why. We’ll know more when Peanut gets back.”
“When do you go out again?”
“I’ll have to get to the boat soon. We’ll go out for a bit before the race to loosen up, get into form, and swing around for our starting position. I’ll leave you here so you can watch the start if that’s okay. It’ll be difficult for you to know who’s who at the finish.”
Kayla frowned. “Maybe you could explain what I should look for. Watching the start was fun, but it was hard not knowing what was happening at the end. I think I’d like to see you finish.”
Jackie smiled up at Kayla. “Okay. Let’s go then.”
They made their way down the long path that ran along the river. Jackie showed Kayla the boats they were using and where she would need to be positioned for the finish.
Kayla watched Jackie and the rest of the crew settle into the shell and maneuver the boat into the water.
Kayla opened the small backpack she had brought with her and drew out her camera. The view was breathtaking and the rowing lanes and boats only added to the beauty. Kayla took several shots of Jackie in the boat before moving to her position in the crowd.
She enjoyed several other races before it was time for Jackie to race. She listened in on the conversations of the people around her and picked up on some of the terminology. Slowly she began to understand the announcements being broadcast from the giant tower.
She listened intently to the progress of Jackie’s team when the race started. She shielded her eyes with her hand and peered into the distance, trying to make out the boats that at first only appeared like moving dots. The closer they came the more her excitement grew.
Kayla trained her camera on the finish trying to capture the teams as they crossed the line. The crowd grew more enthusiastic as the boats drew closer and closer. She had a surge of excitement when she finally recognized Jackie’s team, causing her pulse to race as adrenaline flooded her system. They were neck and neck with the blue and yellow boat she had admired on her way in. She could see the broad shoulders of the rowers straining with effort as the teams tried to propel their fragile crafts across the still water. Kayla drew her camera and began snapping frame after frame, cataloging the battle. She zoomed in for the final frames hoping to catch the precise moment when the craft would cross the finish.
She could hardly process the flow of information with the thrill surging through her body. In the last second Jackie’s team gave a final burst of effort, just managing to shoot the tip of the boat over the finish a fraction of a second ahead of the other team, winning the race by a nose.
Cheers erupted all around Kayla as the crowd celebrated the win. Kayla watched the faces around her sharing their happiness. She was proud of Jackie and her team.
When Jackie returned after storing the scull, she was all smiles as she walked proudly across the grass to where Kayla waited.
“That was beautiful,” Kayla said when Jackie was only a few paces away. “Congratulations on your win.”
Jackie surprised Kayla by wrapping her arms around her, picking her up, and swinging her around in circles. They were both laughing when Jackie finally released her.
“That was such a rush. It was totally unexpected and we weren’t favored to win.”
Jackie’s eyes glowed with excitement and Kayla could feel the energy pouring off her. She had to be pumping out enough pheromones to attract every woman in the park. There was something disarming about seeing Jackie so playful and open.
The rest of the day went by quickly as they watched the races and talked. Kayla was disappointed when they had to leave so Jackie could help the rest of the team store and transport the gear back to the clubhouse.
“Thanks for being here today.”
Kayla smiled. “It was fun. I had a great time.”
Jackie’s smile could have melted snow with its warmth. “Sorry I can’t do dinner.”
“That’s okay. Duty calls.” Kayla smiled up at Jackie through the car window wishing the day didn’t have to end.
Someone called Jackie’s name. Jackie waved. “I’ll be right there.”
Kayla saw a tall brunette waiting by a row of boats. She was one of the women from the start lanes she had seen Jackie with earlier. Was that someone Jackie was seeing?
“I better let you go. Your friends are waiting.”
Jackie smiled. “Yeah, I better run. I’ll call you.” She kissed Kayla on the cheek. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
Kayla was disappointed. She didn’t know what she had expected or hoped would happen, but this wasn’t it. The day had been magical and she’d been swept up in Jackie’s enthusiasm and playfulness. Jackie had a way of making her feel like the only woman in the world, and she’d hoped they’d have more time alone to talk and explore their connection. Kayla glared at the woman obviously waiting for Jackie, as if she had some claim on her. Kayla’s face burned with the sudden heat of jealousy. What are you doing, Kayla? She knew she didn’t have a claim on Jackie either, but no matter how much she might try to deny it, she wanted Jackie’s attention to be hers.
*
The familiar car parked outside Kayla’s house was the first warning that something was wrong. Kayla pulled her car into the garage as a million scenarios flooded her mind. It wasn’t unusual for her to come home to find Jen seeking refuge at her house, but it always meant that Jen was hurting and that was almost unbearable. It tied Kayla’s stomach in knots.
Kayla grabbed her bag and hurriedly made her way into the house. “I’m home.”
“Hey. Where’ve you been?” Jen asked from the living room. “I thought about sending out search and rescue.”
Kayla let her bag drop onto the table by the door and leaned over the sofa to kiss Jen on the cheek. “Well, had I known I’d have company, I would have been sure to be here, but as I didn’t, I kind of had a date.”
Kayla looked around the room, taking in the subtle cues of Jen’s mood. There was a half-empty bottle of wine on the table, Jen’s eyes were red rimmed from crying, and dark circles hung like storm clouds beneath her swollen lids. Jen’s eyes lit up with curiosity at the news that Kayla had been on a date.
“No way!” Jen sat up suddenly and peered at her.
“Yep. Second one this weekend.” Kayla waggled her eyebrows up and down playfully for effect.
“You’re kidding. You never go out. Who is she?”
Kayla could see the wheels turning as Jen seemed to think over the information she knew about Kayla before venturing a guess.
Jen drew in a sharp breath. “It’s Jackie,” Jen exclaimed exci
tedly. “Am I right?”
Kayla smiled and sat down on the sofa next to Jen. She took the glass of wine from Jen’s hand and took a sip as she casually draped her arm around Jen’s shoulders.
Jen eyed her expectantly, the surprise still registering on her face. “Come on, Kayla, spill it.”
Kayla smirked. “There’s nothing to tell really. We hung out last night at a marina on Norris Lake and then I went to see her today at a rowing competition. That’s it.”
“What about the good stuff? Did you stay over last night?”
“No, I did not stay over. Come on, Jen, you know me better than that.”
“So you haven’t…you know.”
“No. We haven’t.” Kayla hesitated a second before adding in a husky tone. “But, oh God, I wanted to.”
A smile burst across Jen’s face and she turned and pulled her legs up onto the sofa to face Kayla. “You mean you guys made out?”
“I guess you could say that. We kissed…a lot. And wow.”
Jen hit Kayla with one of the bolsters. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were going to go out with her. How did this happen?”
Kayla’s cheeks warmed. “Well, actually, I called her last week and we had dinner Wednesday night.”
Jen’s brow furrowed. “Hold it. Wednesday? So you mean this was your third date in a week? We had lunch Thursday and you didn’t say a word to me about this.”
“I’m sorry,” Kayla said guiltily. “You just had so much going on and I wanted to talk about you. I didn’t want to make it about me. And to be honest, I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I wasn’t even sure I was going to see her again.”
Jen was thoughtful for a moment and Kayla watched the brightness in her eyes dim, the temporary distraction quickly shadowed by the reality of Jen’s life.
Kayla put her hand on Jen’s knee. “Want to tell me what happened?”
“It doesn’t really matter. You’ve heard it all a thousand times already.”
Kayla wrapped her arms around Jen and squeezed. She didn’t need to hear the details to know how much Mike had hurt Jen, but Jen still needed to tell her.
“Tell me anyway.”
Jen snuggled close to Kayla. Kayla could feel the tremors in Jen’s body as she fought the emotions threatening to spill over. Kayla was angry. How could Mike claim to love Jen when he couldn’t see her over his love for his drugs? In his world it didn’t matter how much Jen was hurting as long as he got what he wanted.
“I don’t know how our relationship got so off track. I don’t recognize him anymore.” Jen wiped at the tears that leaked from her eyes onto Kayla’s shirt. “Why do I keep holding on?”
Kayla kissed Jen’s hair. “I think you hold on to the dream of who you wanted him to be. It’s hard to accept that this is real. You keep hoping he’ll change and be the man you thought you married. You love him.”
Jen sniffed. “What do I do now, K?”
Kayla sighed, wishing she could conjure the perfect answer to make it all better. “Maybe it’s time to start taking care of you. If he won’t make a change, maybe you should. You’ve seen him through his using, and even through more than one treatment program. You’ve tried everything his way for years and it isn’t working.”
Kayla held Jen as her body surrendered to the fatigue and grief she had been fighting and she laid her head against Kayla’s shoulder.
“He packed a bag this morning. He said he was going to find someone who knew how to have a little fun.” Jen sobbed.
Kayla tightened her grip around Jen’s shoulders and stroked her hair.
“Can I still stay here with you, K?”
Kayla brushed her fingers through the long strands of Jen’s hair that draped across her shoulders. “Of course you can stay. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. Right now I don’t want to have to think about anything.”
Kayla’s chest tightened. She wanted so much to take the pain away for Jen, but she could only offer support until Jen decided to do something different for herself.
“Have you had dinner?” Kayla asked gently.
“Not really,” Jen sniffed. “I couldn’t even think about food today.”
“Well, I can make us something or we can go out, but you need to eat something.”
Jen wrinkled her nose.
Kayla cocked her head and raised her eyebrows. “We could go for Mexican food.”
Jen smiled. “You always know how to get to me.”
Kayla shrugged. “I pay attention.” She grinned. “Come on, it’ll be my treat.”
*
Kayla sat on her back deck contemplating the changes occurring in her life as the first light of morning peeked over the ridgeline of the mountains. The past week had been a welcome breath of fresh air to her normally sedate and often lonely life. Work had always been enough to sustain her as she focused on her career and professional growth. Since her grandmother’s death, Kayla had withdrawn even further into the safety of her structured routines. She felt lost and alone.
Then she met Jackie and Jackie had stirred something within her, something she hadn’t known she needed. A warm smile began to blossom across her face as she thought of Jackie. She was undeniably attracted to Jackie, but she wanted more. Was more an option? Was she setting herself up to be hurt again? Jackie had been clear that she wasn’t looking for a relationship, but the more time they spent together, Kayla was having trouble keeping her head and her heart on the same track.
She thought back to their conversation that first night in Jackie’s apartment when she had been so disarmed by Jackie’s kisses that she was ready to go to bed with her, but Jackie had refrained.
You had me just now. I would have gone to bed with you.
I know.
Why did you stop?
You said you didn’t want tonight to be about sex. I have to respect that.
Sex would have been easy then. The way Jackie had come on to her that first night at the bar still lingered in her mind. Could this all just be a game Jackie was playing? The thought made Kayla’s stomach ache. She didn’t want to play games.
The door opened slowly and Jen stuck her head outside. “Hey, there you are. Mind if I join you?”
Kayla smiled at her friend. “Sure, come on out.” The sun was up now and it was beginning to get a little warm. Kayla enjoyed the heat that seeped into her body, warming her bones.
Jen leaned back into the chair next to Kayla’s. “You’re up early.”
Kayla shrugged. “Habit, I guess. My body doesn’t seem to get the concept of sleeping in on the weekends.”
Jen cradled a cup of coffee in her hands. “I can’t imagine what it’s like being in this house all by yourself all the time. Everything is so quiet and peaceful here. How do you fill all that time? Don’t you want to have someone around to talk to, share meals with, watch movies, and all that stuff?”
Kayla thought about her answer. “Of course, but after a while the quiet is comforting. I’ve gotten used to it. Most of the time I don’t feel lonely at all, and when I do, I just call you.”
Jen smiled and sipped her coffee in silence for a while, apparently thinking about the answer.
“K?”
“Hmm?” Kayla answered, vaguely aware of Jen as she continued her contemplations.
“Do you think you’ll ever find someone…you know…someone you want to share your life with?”
Kayla furrowed her brow and sighed. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think about it. But mostly I’m used to things the way they are. It would be nice to have someone like that in my life, but I’m not sure that’s in the cards for me.” Kayla looked at Jen. “Why do you ask?”
Jen took a deep breath and sighed. “I was just wondering. It just seems so quiet.”
Kayla chuckled. “Believe it or not I kind of like it that way, most of the time anyway.”
Jen bit her lower lip and shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “Does it bother you that I’m here?”
> Kayla was surprised by the question. “Oh, Jen. You don’t bother me at all. I like having you here. I might like my space, but I’m no hermit. It’s nice to have company. To be honest I’ve been lonelier lately than I’d like to admit.”
This seemed to settle Jen a bit and she relaxed back into her chair with a sigh.
“Thanks, K. And thanks for getting me out of the house last night. I really needed that.”
“It was fun. Don’t worry about it.”
Jen cleared her throat before changing the subject. “So, when are you seeing Jackie again?”
Kayla’s eyes shot to Jen at the mention of Jackie’s name. “I don’t know,” she said a bit too forcefully.
Jen raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong? I thought you were really into her by the way you talked about her last night.”
Kayla looked off into the sunlit sky and thought about the waves of emotion she had been riding. “That might be the problem.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that I don’t know what she’s doing or what she’s looking for. I don’t want to be toyed with.”
Jen wrinkled her brow telegraphing her confusion. “Okay. What’s happened that makes you not trust her?”
Letting out a deep sigh, Kayla tried to explain how she’d been feeling about her first impression of Jackie the night they all met, and how different Jackie had been since then.
“At first she seemed to be a real player, only out to have a good time. She didn’t seem to take anything seriously. But when she was helping me with my neck, she was so caring, and when we go out, she’s considerate and attentive, and she didn’t disappear when I put on the brakes. I just don’t want her to play with me. The way things are going, I’m afraid I’ll get too invested and get hurt.”
“So you don’t know which is real, the playful, good-time Jackie, or the serious, caring Jackie.”
“Exactly.”
“Well, isn’t that what dating is all about? Isn’t this how you really get to know someone and find out if it’s just a fling or something more serious?”
Unbroken Page 10
