by Kylie Chan
‘John?’
‘Think of me.’
I held his image in my head — his noble features, wild hair and ancient eyes — and the shattered feeling lessened.
‘Now,’ Ma said, his voice serene. ‘It’s hard enough to retain your consciousness and awareness here, but you also have to use them.’
I opened my eyes to nothing. We were hanging in midair, but the air didn’t exist either; there was nothing to see, just greyness. There was no depth and no texture.
‘Do you have it?’ Ma said, his brilliantly crimson robes somehow muted by the greyness.
I locked the image of John — from the family photo hanging in the hallway back at the Peak — into my mind. ‘I have it.’
‘I use his image too,’ Ma said with quiet amusement, and I glanced up at him. His face was serene but his eyes were full of untold tales.
‘I don’t think we should let go of one another’s hand,’ he said. ‘Otherwise we might be separated in the nothingness. So now we wait for the Celestial Worthy of Mysterious Harmony to become aware of our presence. That’s taken up to twenty-four hours in the past.’
‘This is easier than the Second,’ I said.
‘Nah,’ he said, looking around. ‘It’s like Hong Kong’s weather. You step outside and think, oh, it’s not too hot and humid, I’ll be fine. Then half an hour later, you’re drenched by the humidity and weak from the heat. It sneaks up on you. So rest your mind as much as you can. It’s an effort just staying aware.’
‘Where’s John? I heard him.’
‘Nowhere.’
A figure appeared in the mist, dark against the grey. ‘Who has entered the Heaven of the Three Purities?’
‘I am Marshal Ma Hua Guang, Vanguard of the Thirty-Six, right hand of the Dark Lord, the Xuan Wu. This is his Lady Emma, Regent of the Northern Heavens.’
‘This is highly unusual,’ the dark shape said. ‘She is demon … she is mortal … she is nothing I have seen before … What is she?’
‘That’s why we’re here,’ I said.
Solidity coalesced around my feet and I was standing. The greyness didn’t become clearer though and the figure who was talking to us, presumably the Celestial Worthy of Mysterious Harmony, remained barely visible.
‘We request an audience with the Three Purities, as directed by Xuan Tian himself,’ Ma said.
‘What is the purpose of this visit?’ the Worthy said. ‘Is the Dark Lord in trouble again? It seems only a minute ago you were here asking for our assistance with the demon horde.’
‘That was three thousand years ago,’ I said with wonder.
‘Yes, a minute,’ the Worthy said.
‘The Dark Lady, promised consort of the Dark Lord, has been filled with demon essence by a master of the cruel arts,’ Ma said. ‘She cannot join him in her proper place in the Heavens while she is like this. We seek the indulgence of the Purities in restoring her to her correct nature and freeing her to take her place on the Celestial.’
‘Jade Building Block!’ the Worthy said. ‘How dare you show your blunt and backwards facets on this Plane, worthless stone! I should cast you down now.’
‘This isn’t about me, it’s about the Lady who carries me,’ the stone said.
‘Worthless stone, you fail to show respect,’ the Worthy said. ‘I reject you! I expel you! Go back to whence you came.’
‘Emma, remove me and drop me,’ the stone said.
Removing the stone would involve … something to do with fingers. I rallied my awareness. ‘I don’t think so. John gave you to me, you represent …’ I tried to remember. ‘You represent something important to me.’
‘She is unable to retain her awareness here, Majesty,’ Ma said. ‘If we cannot see the Purities soon, she will be lost.’
Suddenly I was thinking more clearly than I’d ever thought before. The solution to the problem with the demon essence was obvious. ‘Oh, I know how to fix it. Just let me back down to the Earthly, no need to bother anybody now. It’s an interesting mix of traditional alchemical principles —’
‘That you will lose the minute you touch the Earthly,’ Ma said. ‘He’s cleared your mind so you can tell him what you want.’
‘And made me more intelligent as a side effect,’ I said.
‘No,’ the Worthy said. ‘Just clearer. Now what is it that you seek, madam?’
I fell to one knee and bowed my head. ‘I seek the assistance of the Three Pure Ones. I have been filled with demon essence and they may have the power to clear it. Also, I would love to hear any thoughts they have on what I am.’
‘I will return directly,’ the Worthy said, and his dark shape disappeared.
My mind immediately went blank and I tried to focus.
‘Don’t force it,’ Ma said. ‘They’ll give your mind back when they return.’
‘I had the solution,’ I said softly. ‘It was so clear.’
‘Nothing will ever be as clear again. When you return, it will be gone.’
I wanted to be angry for some reason but I couldn’t remember why.
A building moved towards us through the greyness. It had no walls, just pillars holding up the traditional roof, and was constructed of dark polished wood. The floor was of woven rice mats — tatami mats.
Ma inhaled sharply. ‘All three.’
Three elderly gentlemen sat in the centre of the building side by side. Their faces were impossible to make out. I was aware that their robes were complex but I couldn’t see them. I couldn’t see anything. I couldn’t think anything. What was I doing?
Ma held my hand tighter. ‘Focus, Emma. For John.’
‘John?’ I said. ‘Who’s John?’
Someone slid into view next to us, still almost invisible in the grey. ‘You may approach.’
‘Where am I?’ I said.
Emma, focus, you’re on the First Platform and about to address the Three Purities. Don’t lose it, dear one, keep yourself together, for your love, an English voice said.
‘That’s funny, you sound English,’ I said.
‘I beg your indulgence, Celestial Worthy, my mistress’s mind is failing,’ the stone said. ‘Please assist her, or her journey here will be for nothing.’
‘Silence, worthless stone!’ the dark shape said.
‘The stone speaks the truth, Majesty,’ Ma said. ‘The world below needs the Dark Lord’s power. Once again the demon horde has risen —’
‘We just helped you with that!’ the Worthy said.
‘And the Dark Lord needs the love of this woman to assist him —’
‘Of all the Celestials, the Dark Lord should know that love is an Earthly emotion that ties you to the World of Ruin,’ the Worthy said. ‘Do you have anything worthwhile to bring to the attention of the Purities, or are you as worthless as the stone you have brought here with you?’
Emma! the stone said, its voice fierce. Emma, if you want their help, you have to snap out of it now and talk to them!
Someone took my free hand; another dark shape that I couldn’t make out. Its grip was cold as ice and I shivered, trying to free myself.
‘Don’t,’ John said. ‘Let me help you.’
‘My Lord,’ Ma said with awe.
A rush of ice-cold clarity gave me an instant brain freeze and I bent double at the pain.
The cold grip disappeared. I straightened, pulled Ma with me to the building, stepped up onto the platform, then fell to one knee. ‘Please, help me.’
‘Approach,’ the middle man said, still sitting cross-legged on the floor.
I released Ma’s hand, rose and took a couple of steps so that I was in front of the Purity, then kneeled again, this time on both knees. He was still almost impossible to make out.
He reached inside his robes and took out something white and circular. He placed it on the matting in front of me. ‘Take this. This will assist you in the time of need that fast approaches.’
I picked it up; it was a circular piece of white jade, about ten centim
etres across, carved with the image of the Xuan Wu in animal form — the snake and turtle intertwined.
‘Will this remove the demon essence from me?’ I said.
‘What demon essence?’ the Upper Purity said.
‘I am full of demon essence, Pure One. It interferes with … with … with everything.’
‘And why have you come to us?’
‘To ask you to help me. To clear me of the demon essence so that I can walk the Celestial once again.’
‘You can walk the Celestial now, just not with your legs.’
‘I fear that I will change, Pure One. The demon essence will take control of me and I will hurt the ones I love.’
‘We always hurt the ones we love; that is the nature of the World of Ruin. Love is but a selfish fallacy that leads to suffering.’
‘I beg of you, Majesties, please clear this demon essence from me.’
‘We will not change your essence. You must be what you are; that is the Way.’
I took a deep breath and tried a different tack. ‘I do not know what I am, and I ask your assistance in helping me to find out.’
‘Do you live?’ the Jade Purity on my left said.
I bowed my head. ‘Yes. I live.’
‘What do you know?’
‘I know nothing.’
‘Good. A beginning. Do you sleep?’
‘Yes, Majesty.’
‘When you wake, what is your first thought?’
‘Uh …’ The clarity was leaving me. ‘That my family is safe.’
‘Your first thought is not “what am I”?’
‘No, Majesty, the ones I love come first.’
‘You are a small mote of wisdom, little one. Well met.’
‘Can you help me?’
‘You do not need our help,’ the Great Purity on my right said, and they disappeared.
‘You are free to go. You have been given a gift of mighty power; treasure it,’ the Celestial Worthy said, and his dark shape disappeared as well.
I wanted to feel frustrated but I had trouble feeling anything.
‘This is unusual,’ Ma said from somewhere nearby. ‘Usually when they’re done with me they return me to the Earthly. Looks like we have to find our own way down.’
I was lost. Everything was grey and I didn’t really care. I was dissolving and it was peaceful.
‘Emma, say something,’ Ma said.
‘Over here,’ the English voice said.
‘I’m trying to get to you,’ Ma said. ‘It’s starting to affect me, I won’t be able to keep it up much longer …’
‘I think you’re close,’ the voice said.
Something dark sliced through the greyness next to me: a bolt of black, icy coldness. It gripped me, holding me immobile, but I didn’t really care.
‘Ma,’ it said.
‘Here,’ Ma said, somewhere to my left and fading away.
I was ripped sideways and then jarred to a halt, the momentum flinging my nonexistent limbs around. The cold blackness began to hurt me, like ice on bare skin, but I was so tired that I didn’t really care. My mind was numb.
‘You’re killing her,’ Ma said.
‘Everything’s killing her,’ the darkness said. ‘Hold on tight.’
I shot upright to sitting position and took a huge gasping breath. Someone held my hand. ‘Hold on, Emma, you’re safe.’
I fell back and someone caught me. The light was blinding and I screwed up my eyes, trying to focus. I put my hand to my swollen, tender head and the world spun around me. I shot upright again, unable to control myself, and vomited to one side.
‘Oh, charming,’ Simone said.
‘All over the cashmere,’ Leo said. ‘Ruined.’
I retched a few times, and tried to open my eyes. Someone gave me some tissues and I wiped my mouth, then ineffectually mopped my saturated jumper.
‘What’s this?’ Leo said.
‘It’s jade,’ Chang said. ‘White jade — the Xuan Wu — it must be priceless.’
‘She won’t let go of it,’ Leo said.
‘Leave it then,’ Simone said. ‘Should we drop her at the infirmary or just take her home?’
‘How long have I been gone?’ I said.
‘Two days.’
I snapped open my eyes. ‘But that means the evaluation is in two days and we’re not nearly ready!’ The light seared through my head, frying my brain, and I hissed with pain and closed my eyes again.
I heard footsteps. A fourth person had entered. I prised open my eyelids and saw a blurry version of Edwin, the Academy doctor.
‘Vomiting, sensitivity to light — I didn’t know Lady Emma suffered from migraine headaches,’ he said.
‘I don’t,’ I said.
‘Well, that’s what this is,’ Edwin said. ‘Take her home and put her to bed in a dark room with … I was about to say powerful painkillers but they won’t work on you. So, Emma, take serpent form at home and curl up in a beanbag. You’ll be fine.’
‘We have an evaluation …’ I said.
‘Yes, we do, and it’s all under control,’ Simone said. ‘Leo, can you get out of the chair to carry her?’
‘No,’ Leo said. ‘Chang, you do it. Take her down to the car and drive her home. I’ll meet you there.’
‘Yes, sir,’ Chang said, and I felt myself lifted by strong arms.
CHAPTER 29
The hot water felt so good against my skin, helping the pain to subside. Strong arms held me and I relaxed and enjoyed …
‘Wait,’ I said, and forced open my eyes. ‘Leo?’
‘You got some in your hair,’ he said. ‘Stay still.’
‘Nice boxers.’
‘Yeah, I wish I could say the same for you, sweetheart. I need to go shopping for you again.’
‘You don’t know what size I am.’
He turned the water off. ‘All clean. And yes, I do, although it’s obvious that you don’t.’
‘A girl can dream,’ I said as he wrapped me in a huge fluffy towel like a child. ‘Your chair okay with the water on it?’
‘Yeah, it’s aluminum,’ he said. ‘It won’t rust.’
‘Aluminium.’
‘Aluminum! We had that fight and I won!’
He popped me into his lap and wheeled into my room.
‘I can dress myself now,’ I said.
‘I’m not leaving till I see you stand up by yourself.’
I pulled myself off his lap, clutched the towel around me, slid my feet onto the floor and forced myself upright. The world had other ideas, however, tipping me over so that I fell back into his lap.
‘Looks like I have to dry you and dress you myself.’ He roughly rubbed me with the towel, making me giggle.
‘That’s what I like to hear,’ he said. ‘I hardly ever hear you laugh any more.’
‘We’ll have more laughs together when John comes back.’
He hesitated, then, ‘I hope we do.’
I gasped. ‘Where’s the jade they gave me?’
He reached for my pyjamas and passed them to me. ‘Here, on the bed, don’t panic. What does it do?’
‘I have no idea,’ I said as I pulled the pyjama top over my head. ‘They just said it would help me in my time of need.’
‘Touch it to me,’ the stone said.
‘Wait till I have pants on,’ I said.
‘Overrated,’ the stone said.
‘If I were you I would be locking this dirty old man out of your room, Emma,’ Leo said.
‘Does nothing for me, same as you,’ the stone said.
‘Emma told me about you,’ Leo said.
The stone was silent at that.
I pulled my pants on and touched the jade to the stone.
‘This is a demon destroyer,’ the stone said. ‘Touch it and order it, and it will destroy every demon within two hundred metres or so. All of them.’
‘Wait,’ I said, and fell to sit on the bed. ‘Will it destroy me?’
The stone was silent for a
moment, then said, ‘Yes.’
‘Then don’t use it; give it to someone else,’ Leo said.
‘It can’t be used by anyone else,’ the stone said.
‘They didn’t happen to clear the demon essence out of me when I wasn’t looking, did they?’
‘No. This jade will destroy you.’
‘And they said I would need to use it,’ I said.
‘Well, that’s good news,’ Leo said. ‘It means that you’ll be cleared of the demon nature before you need to use it.’
I tossed the jade in my hand. ‘Kwan Yin said I had to go to the First Platform immediately. The only thing I got out of it … was this.’
‘You use that thing and none of us will ever forgive you,’ Leo said.
‘If she uses that thing then there won’t be anyone to forgive,’ the stone said.
Leo pulled the covers back and lifted my legs to slip them between the sheets. ‘Rest now. If you want to change to snake and lie on the beanbags, give me a shout and I’ll carry you across.’
‘I have to get to Guangzhou,’ I said. ‘Are the students there yet? We need to be ready —’
‘Rest! That’s an order, Miss Mortal, from a Shen. Me. Shut up and rest. It’s all under control.’
‘Leo the Shen.’
‘Damn straight, lady. The Lius have it under control, the students are at the house, Chang will drive you there tomorrow —’
‘The car isn’t registered in China. It can’t go over.’
Leo started to wheel himself out of my room. ‘It has the old plates on it, which’ll do until we get new plates. Don’t worry, Emma, it’s all taken care of. Rest.’
‘The Second Platform is so beautiful, Leo.’
He stopped and turned back. ‘The place where the Buddhas live?’
‘Yes. The air is like … The sky is … It’s wonderful.’
‘I thought it would be kind of like … emptiness. Nothing. That’s what they say Nirvana is.’
‘That was her mortal and unenlightened mind trying to make sense of it,’ the stone said.
‘What was the highest platform like?’ Leo said.
‘Grey.’
‘It nearly killed her,’ the stone said.
‘Not a place you want to go back to,’ I said.
Leo wheeled himself towards the door again. ‘This supernatural stuff completely freaks me out.’
