by Kylie Chan
‘And it’s my fault.’
‘If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine,’ he said. ‘My stupid oath. My ridiculous inability to restrain myself from falling for you. And my weakness in being unable to defend you and your family.’
‘All right, both our faults. Laying blame at this late stage is a complete waste of time anyway.’
He raised my left hand. ‘What happened to your stone?’
I looked at the ring. ‘I don’t know.’
‘That’s unusual; it should have checked in by now. I wonder where it is.’
‘Is it important?’
He chuckled, his chest moving against my back. ‘I will have to tell it you said that when it returns.’
‘So it’s sentient then.’
‘Your memory may be gone, but you are still definitely you. It is good to have you back, love.’
‘Another hour and I would have been in Stanley Prison waiting for a preliminary hearing,’ I said. ‘And now everybody knows I have AIDS. How will they react?’
He hesitated for a moment, then said, ‘I don’t know. For the Celestial, it should make no difference.’ He ran his hand over the bandage on my right arm. ‘What happened to your arm?’
I unwrapped it and showed it to him, and the cloud stopped. He turned me around, took my arm in his hands and studied it from all angles.
‘Have you seen anything like this before?’ I said.
‘Yes, but not on a live human.’ He glanced up at me. ‘When we pass through the Gates, I will take it very, very slowly. If the arm begins to burn — even in the slightest — tell me immediately.’
‘What gates?’
‘The Gates of Heaven.’
I gasped. ‘Oh my God, Guan Yu is real and guards the Gates of Heaven.’
‘That he is, and a fine, smart comrade as well.’
‘Let’s go home,’ I said, and he moved to stand behind me and steer the cloud again. ‘When I lost my memory, I would have given anything for a home and a family. I have found a loving family and a beautiful home; I think I’m the luckiest woman in the world.’
‘It is the small things enriching our lives that we should never take for granted,’ he said. Clouds appeared around us that hadn’t been there a moment ago. ‘We are about to enter the Celestial Plane. If your arm burns, tell me.’
An enormous gate emerged from the clouds, and the sky cleared. This was the Heavenly Portal: an analogue to the Gates of Heaven, and a more convenient entry point for those who could fly. It stood alone, with no walls supporting it, making it appear easy to circumvent; but it was impossible for those who did not have the authority of residence in Heaven to enter.
As we approached, my arm tingled, gradually building to a burn.
‘It’s burning,’ I said.
John stopped the cloud. Simone appeared, floating next to us, her hair waving in the breeze. She joined us on the cloud.
‘What’s that?’ she said, looking horrified as she saw my blackened arm.
‘It’s a result of her being infused with demon essence,’ John said. He touched my arm and his fingers were cold. ‘Fascinating. I’m drifting the cloud slowly closer to the Gates; if the pain becomes too much to bear, let me know.’
The burning intensified as we approached the Gates, but didn’t become so strong that I couldn’t tolerate it.
John stopped at the Gates and the cloud hovered. ‘How bad is it?’
‘Like bad sunburn.’
He hesitated. ‘It would be very much easier if you could be on the Celestial. The Jade Emperor will have a fit if I desert my post again to be with my human wife.’
‘I want to be on the Celestial,’ I said. ‘My memory will return faster there.’ I tilted my head with confusion. ‘How did I know that?’
‘Your memories are all there, just in little pieces,’ he said. ‘Decision time. Rush through the Gates and risk your arm; or hold off and settle you back on the Earthly?’
‘Go through very slowly,’ I said. ‘I’ll tell you to stop if I think I’ll lose it.’
‘Don’t risk it,’ Simone said. ‘Go live in the Peak apartment; you’ll be safe there.’
‘She will be a hundred times safer inside the walls of Wudang, Simone.’
‘If we go through slowly enough I won’t be risking anything,’ I said. ‘Do it, John.’
We glided closer to the Gates, which were embossed in gold with the Four Winds, the Phoenix at the top. A pair of dragon guards in True Form floated on either side of the portal, watching us silently. As we grew closer the burning intensified, but wasn’t painful.
John stopped the cloud directly in front of the open Gates. ‘Put your hand in,’ he said.
I reached and pushed my hand through the Gates. The pain grew stronger as the black part of my arm drew level with the frame.
‘God, careful,’ Simone said, distraught.
‘I am on both counts,’ John said. ‘I am watching carefully. There, you’re inside. How is it?’
I wrenched my arm back and clutched it to my side. ‘It hurt like crazy.’ I held it out again and studied it. ‘But I’m not damaged.’ I pushed my arm through the Gates again, and gritted my teeth at the pain; but the arm didn’t disintegrate. ‘I can do it.’
‘Try it as snake,’ Simone said.
‘You can change to snake?’ John said.
‘She spent most of the last year or so on the Celestial in Serpent form,’ Simone said. ‘She couldn’t travel to Heaven as a human because of the demon essence.’
He shrugged. ‘It’s worth a try.’
I concentrated.
‘Nothing?’ Simone said.
‘I think I’ve forgotten how to do it.’
‘Very well, we will try that again later,’ John said. ‘I can probably bring it out for you, touch it with my own Serpent.’
‘That may not be such a good idea.’
‘Yes, you have a point.’ He raised his hand. ‘Deep breath, count of three.’
The cloud whizzed through the Gates and I felt a flash of pain in my arm; it flared and was gone.
‘Does it still hurt?’ John asked urgently.
‘No, I’m fine.’
‘All right,’ he said. The cloud picked up speed. ‘Let’s take you home.’
‘See you there,’ Simone said, and shot away, leaving a contrail behind her.
‘Impressive,’ he said. ‘We must have you flying as soon as we find the time.’
‘What does my schedule look like for the next few days?’ I said. ‘I have things I need to do. I don’t know what they are, but they need to be done.’
‘The schedule looks like — empty,’ he said. ‘You will not be performing any duties until you can remember that you have them.’
I dropped my voice. ‘What about a funeral for my nephews?’
‘Your family will not hold one. They live in hope.’
‘And the Jade Emperor? What does he have to say?’ I paused. ‘I suppose it says something about the nature of his authority that I’m well aware of his summons despite everything else being scrambled.’
‘That, I am afraid, you must attend. We need to have an official handover from you as Regent to me as Emperor, and that must take place at the Celestial Palace. It was postponed because you were lost, but I expect a red box will be waiting for us at home.’
‘Everything you say brings images into my mind,’ I said. ‘It’s so confusing.’
‘Do you understand why we need the handover?’
‘Of course. I was looking forward to formally offloading all this bullshit onto you …’ My voice trailed off. ‘It’s like something opens and the memories are sitting there where they’ve always been. It’s a very peculiar feeling.’
‘I’ve just been through something similar myself, so I understand completely,’ he said.
The mountains grew taller and steeper and became a darker green as we approached Wudang. The Wudangshan complex came into view and I clutched John’s arms where he held me.
The Academy’s black roofs shone in the sunlight, and black silk banners had been erected at the top of the wall all the way around. Two more huge black banners, each with the motif of the Seven Stars, stood on either side above the gate.
‘I have dreamed of this for many years,’ he said into my ear. ‘Carrying you on a cloud to my home. Now that I have found you, I must arrange for an Elixir of Immortality to be distilled for you as soon as possible.’
The cloud carried us to a courtyard house nestled against the rock spine of the Mountain, and I recognised this as the place I lived even though I didn’t have many memories associated with it.
The cloud settled on the ground, but I hesitated, holding John’s hand, when I saw how many people were in the garden waiting for me. He guided me off the cloud and walked me to them.
‘She may not remember who you are,’ he said. ‘I don’t think she remembers terribly much at all.’
‘Should we stay or go?’ an older European man said — probably my father.
‘Stay. I want to remember you as quickly as I can,’ I said. ‘Twelve hours ago I wished with all my heart that I had a family, and now I do. I want to remember every single one of you.’
‘All of us who are not family will leave then,’ a young Chinese man said.
‘You’re family too, Gold,’ Leo said.
‘Gold.’ I went up to him and touched his face, and smiled when he blushed. ‘I can trust you. That’s all I know.’
A small stone shot into the air from behind him and floated at eye level. ‘Did they hurt you much, Aunty Emma?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘I can’t remember your name.’
‘I don’t have one,’ the stone said.
I turned to a young woman next to Gold. ‘I remember you.’
She bowed and saluted ten times more gracefully than I ever could. ‘I am Jade, my Lady. Welcome home.’
‘You’re my friend, aren’t you?’
She smiled and gently hugged me. ‘I love you like a sister, but I am not your blood family.’ She gestured towards the European man and the woman standing with him. ‘They should come first.’
Gold saluted John. ‘Your orders, my Lord?’
‘Immediate family only for now, I think,’ John said. ‘Simone, Leo, give her some time. Let her reacquaint herself with her parents.’ He raised one arm towards the Europeans. ‘Brendan, Barbara, come inside. Tea?’
The Chinese people saluted John, and either walked back towards the administrative part of the complex or disappeared.
I went to the European couple. ‘Are you my parents?’
‘Come on, love,’ the woman said. ‘Let’s go inside and remind you again how silly you are.’
‘Mum,’ I said. ‘You’re my mum, and you’re my dad.’ I looked around. ‘Where are my sisters?’
‘Neither of them is in much shape to say hello,’ my mother said. ‘They both just lost a child.’
‘I need to say sorry to them.’
John led us through a comfortable, Chinese-furnished living room into a kitchen that sat against the side of the house. He shooed a servant out, sat us at the kitchen table and put the kettle onto the gas.
‘No, you don’t,’ he said. ‘None of it was your fault.’
‘He’s right,’ my father said. ‘They don’t blame you. Hell, you nearly gave your life to try and get the boys back. You are well and truly forgiven.’
‘I need to see them,’ I said. ‘What are their names again?’
‘Amanda and Jennifer,’ my mother said, gesturing for me to join her at the table. As soon as I sat, she jumped up and helped John with the teapot, hunting through the cupboards for a mismatched set of teacups. ‘Give them some time, dear. They’ve been through a lot and both need time to recover.’
‘So does Emma,’ John said, pouring the hot water into the pot and joining us at the table.
My father’s frown deepened. ‘Emma, how did you get AIDS? How long have you had it?’
‘Here on the Celestial Plane, and here in my presence, the disease will not progress,’ John said firmly. ‘You need not fear for her.’
‘But how did she get it?’ my mother said.
‘There was an accident and she was contaminated with Leo’s blood,’ John said. ‘The disease was dormant until she was freed of the demon essence — the extensive burns activated the virus. Don’t be concerned. When Emma is made Immortal, it will not be an issue for her.’
‘Is that very hard — making someone Immortal? The Heavens aren’t full of you Immortals, there must be something to it.’
‘Finding the path to Immortality by yourself requires nearly a lifetime of cultivation, but it is easier using the Elixir — which is what I plan to do for Emma. The Elixir can only be requested by the greatest of us, and we must have permission from the Jade Emperor himself.’
‘It takes just over a year to distil enough Elixir for one person,’ I said, and stopped, confused. ‘How come I knew that and I don’t even know my own middle name?’
‘You don’t have a middle name,’ my mother said. ‘They’re a waste of time.’
‘You’d better get started on making this Elixir thing for Emma, then, if it’ll cure her,’ my father said.
I studied my arm. ‘I hope this won’t stop it from working.’
‘Don’t worry about that. We have a year to deal with it,’ John said.
‘What is that?’ my mother said. ‘Is it some sort of new high-tech bandage?’
‘It’s demon essence reacting with the AIDS virus,’ I said.
‘But you were cleared of demon essence.’
‘Kitty Kwok tried to fill me up again. She really is determined to make little half-demon babies from me,’ I said. ‘There’s something else about this, but I can’t remember what it is. Something important, something to do with you.’
‘The Welsh men, Ben and Tom,’ my father said, leaning back. ‘I’m tracing their family tree. I don’t think they’re related to us Donahoes, but it’s all leading back to Wales.’
‘As soon as all of this is sorted out here, we will go there,’ John said.
‘How long will that take?’ my father said.
‘If the Celestial bureaucracy has its way, about a hundred years,’ John said with amusement. ‘I should be able to make things move faster.’ He saw my face. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Of course she’s not all right,’ my father said. ‘She’s been dragged around, hospitalised, threatened with prison, and had her head bashed in. I bet she has the headache from hell.’
‘Actually I think I’m going to be sick,’ I said.
My mother jumped to her feet and took me around the shoulders. ‘Where’s the bathroom?’ she asked John.
‘This way,’ he said, and they rushed me in without a minute to spare.
CHAPTER 22
I woke and stared, confused, at the sheer curtains around the bed. I looked left and saw the sofas, the fire, which had burnt down to smouldering coals, and the natural rock wall that formed the third wall of the room. Daylight shone in through the large windows on the other wall.
I went into the bathroom, grabbed a robe from the back of the door, and wandered out.
The courtyard house was made extensively of dark, heavily polished wood, inlaid in some places with mother-of-pearl sea creatures — crabs and shrimps — and engraved in others with snakes and turtles. I went out of the room onto the balcony that circled the central open space and listened. The fountain below splashed into a small pond with three small black tortoises resident in it, and someone was moving below me.
I went around the balcony, checking the other rooms. There were two other bedrooms: one was full of the paraphernalia of a teenage girl; the other had been used but didn’t look lived in.
Across the house from the master bedroom was a landing with stairs leading down to the ground level. I wished I had a sword, and one appeared in my hand. I admired its sleek blackness for a moment, then removed the scabbard, quietly put it on
to an elegantly carved hall table, and crept down the stairs with the sword in my hand.
The sounds were coming from the back of the house. I went out and leaned against the wall of the courtyard, listening. Someone was moving quietly, without speaking, in a room directly under the bedroom I’d woken in. I used all the skills I’d been trained in and moved silently towards the room. Like the bedroom above, this room had a third wall of unfinished rock, but the floor wasn’t carpet, it was modern gymnastic mats, and the walls were covered in a variety of weapons.
A Chinese woman was practising with a large sword. She moved with the elegance of one using a fraction of her true strength, and her movements were absolute perfection. I had no chance of defeating her in any sort of battle, and wondered how I could make the sword in my hand disappear. It went away by itself.
‘Do you know where you are?’ the woman said without stopping or looking at me.
I didn’t reply, unsure whether or not I was trapped.
‘There is a cloud of confusion over your head, Emma,’ she said. ‘Do you remember anything?’
I inched away from her, ready to run.
She stopped working with the sword, looked into my eyes, and spoke. ‘I am Xuan Wu,’ she said, her voice echoing with power, and the world shattered around me.
I came around lying in John’s arms with his concerned face above me and my parents and Simone behind him.
‘Do you know who you are?’ John said.
‘Next time, be in male form when I wake up,’ I said. ‘I was confused as hell and might have hurt somebody.’
‘It’s after lunchtime. I’d given up waiting for you and decided to take female form for a while to conserve my energy,’ he said.
‘It’s easier on you?’ I said.
‘Seems to be.’ He raised me so that I was sitting. ‘Edwin says the female form is the matrix or something, but I don’t really understand. All I know is that it takes slightly less energy.’
‘You’re my mum and dad,’ I said to my parents.
‘You’re our little girl,’ my father said.
‘Simone,’ I said. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Typical, Emma,’ Simone said. ‘All that’s happened to you, and you worry about me.’
