by H. M. Montes
Silence filled the room except for the thick tension passing between us. “How long has he been beating you?” Cade asked.
“He doesn’t.” I told him.
Cade snorted, “Let me guess those bruises are from the rough sex?”
“My sex life is none of your business.” I rolled away and put my back towards him. I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep.
“I’m not an idiot, I know he put them on you. That ugly fucking hickey he put on your neck was his attempt to mark what he thinks belongs to him. I’m sure you’re smart enough to know that things are only going to get worse not better.”
I flipped the covers off turned the lamp on and stared down at him from where I was standing, “You don’t know shit about my relationship. I’m a fucking cheerleader how do you know those bruises aren’t from a stunt? I’m not stupid either. My relationship with him is just fine!” I tried to keep from yelling the last part.
Cade tucked his hands behind his head and smiled up at me not saying a word, so I harshly turned the lamp off and climbed back into bed. I tossed and turned because every time I closed my eyes it wasn’t the chocolate brown eyes staring at me with desire—it was the dark green of Cades eyes.
When I got back to campus on Sunday evening Theresa was back to her normal bubbly self and wanted play by play details of how the party went. We heated up some leftovers mom had sent home with me and I told her all about the weekend.
“So you like seen him in all his glory and didn’t jump his bones?” she asked with shock.
I shook my head, “Uh no, I’m not going to cheat on Ronnie. I’m not like that and you know it.”
“Ugg, please tell me you at least got a picture of him?”
I scrolled through the pictures on my phone, finally I found one where he was leaning against the bar next to where Bryan and I were standing for the picture. “Hollly shit woman.” She looked back down at my phone then handed it back.
I nodded my head, “Yeah you would have been dry humping his leg. I bet he’s over six foot four.” I laid down on my bed.
“No I would have mounted him and rode that monster cock of his until I was chanting my thanks to Jesus.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at Theresa, she had no filter and no shame. My life without her would be so boring and I loved her to death.
Just as I was about to fall asleep my cell phone rang and jerked me out of my mid drift dream of Cade. I couldn’t get him out of my mind and it was frustrating as hell. Ronnie was calling me when I answered he told me to come over to his place. I hated being told what to do but the way the weekend had went made me feel bad.
Theresa didn’t think I needed to go over there so late and rolled back over when I was walking out the door. I showed up at Ronnie’s house, his roommate’s car was gone so we would be alone. I used to look forward to this time together but something about tonight just made me want to turn around and go back to the dorm.
After locking my car I walked up the dark walkway to the house, the door creaked when I pushed it open. The only light that was on was Ronnie’s. I walked down the hallway to his room, he was lounging on his bed and the glare he gave me sent a chill down my spine. Go home Syd this can’t be good my subconscious told me but I ignored it.
“Hey.” I smiled at him as I walked across the room.
“You couldn’t come over after you got back? Shows where I rate in your fucking books.” He said while still glaring at me, not returning the smile.
“Sorry I visited with Theresa, ate supper, and then dozed off on my bed.” Why was he looking at me like he hated me? “What’s wrong?” I sat down on the bed next to his legs. He quickly stood up from the bed and paced the room tugging on his hair.
“You know, I think you’re full of shit when you say you love me.” He finally said, but was so mad his face was turning red.
“What? Why would you even think that?”
In two strides he was in my face gripping my jaw, “Because you wouldn’t stand up to any of those fucking assholes for me. You practically threw me to a hungry pack of fucking wolves.” He pushed my face away. I rubbed my jaw, knowing there would more than likely be bruises.
“I’m going home Ronnie, you’re pissed and I’m not going to be man handled because you can’t control your jealousy and your temper.” I tried to walk past him but he grabbed me from behind spun me around so we were chest to chest. His breathing was fast and fierce, his eyes no longer the chocolate brown like usual. They were black, the small veins of red almost causing his eyes to glow with anger.
“You,” he poked his index finger as hard as he could in the center of my chest causing me to stumble back a step, “You have no idea how fucking mad I can get, keep pushing my fucking buttons bitch and you’ll find out in a hurry.”
I tried to step around him, one arm stopped me then I was flung backwards and landed on the bed. I landed on his laptop and text books that were stacked on it. Then he was straddling me, his body shaking, the vein in his forehead pulsating as he glared down at me. “Don’t fucking test me Sydney.”
Tears filled my eyes, “Get off me, I want to leave.” I tried to shift off of the book and laptop but he pressed me down harder. “We can talk when you’ve calmed down, please…”
Then it came, the very first slap…the soul shattering, heart breaking, face numbing slap. “Fuck you bitch! You can tell daddy dear that I’m not going anywhere. We are in LOVE, you know as well as I do I’m the best fucking thing that has ever happened to you. Or do you prefer to have a man that fucks other men?”
Tears streamed down my face, “Ronnie, please just don’t…” I turned my head and looked away. My face was stinging and I could taste the metallic of blood in my mouth.
He roughly grabbed my face to make me look at him, “Your fucking parents need to cut your umbilical cord little girl. This is the real world; I don’t have to prove shit to them.” He yelled in my face then released me and stormed out of his room slamming the door behind him.
I pushed myself up on the bed, walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. “Oh my god!” I said when I seen the red slap mark, the red finger marks on each side of my jaw, then when I lifted my shirt and looked at my back there was a large rectangle shaped red spot between my shoulders. The bathroom door flew open and Ronnie stormed in, he stopped when he looked at my face .
“Christ Sydney, I’m so sorry.” He had tears running down his cheeks and pulled me against him. “So sorry.” He sobbed and rubbed my hair.
“I…I need to go to the dorm. I, really, I can’t stay here.” I said.
“No…stay. I’ll go get you some ice. Take a shower I’ll be waiting when you get out. Okay babe?” he lightly cupped his hands on my face and kissed me but I didn’t return the kiss. When he walked out I pulled my clothes off and turned the shower on as hot as I could stand the water. I sank to the floor and cried. I had never ever been hit by a man, my heart broke no my heart shattered with each sob that I released under the water. “Babe come here, fuck.” Ronnie said and shut the water off, wrapped me in a towel and carried me over to the bed.
~~~~
I missed three days of school and so did Ronnie, no matter how much I tried to stop crying—I couldn’t. He held me and apologized over and over. Theresa was starting to worry but luckily she believed the whole stomach flu because it was going around campus really bad. Our cheer coach told me to get myself healthy before I came back because four of the other team mates were sick as well and she sure as hell didn’t want it.
~~~~
When I finally decided that my face wasn’t bruised too bad anymore I went back to school. Ronnie and I hadn’t talked at all about what he had done, I knew that the first person I wanted to talk to was Shelby his ex-girlfriend. I found her number in the very bottom of my cheer bag and called her on my way to class. We agreed to meet at lunch, I would have to think of a lie to tell Ronnie so he wouldn’t get suspicious. So, I told him that my mom was in tow
n and wanted to take me out for lunch. He hugged me and kissed me then went to the cafeteria.
I met Shelby across town at a small diner that wasn’t full of college students. She was nervously folding and unfolding her napkin as I approached the table.
“Hi.” She gave me a weak smile.
“Hey.” I sat down. We both stared at each other for a few seconds.
“Has it happened to you yet?” she asked with a shake to her voice.
“Sunday night he hit me, if that’s what you’re asking.” I picked up my glass of ice water and took a drink.
“It’ll get worse if you don’t stop it now, and I’m not saying that because I want him back or anything. He still calls and text me you know.” She slid her phone across the table and let me read numerous messages from him; the most recent one was this morning.
Ronnie: Shelby please just drop the fucking charges babe. I don’t know how much more I can apologize. I love you.
I pushed her phone away, “Charges?” my voice shook.
“He uhm,” she took a drink of her water with shaky hands, “He shot at my car one night after he raped me in the bed his pickup.”
My eyes about popped out of my head and my mouth went dry, “He…raped you?”
She nodded her head, then told me, “I went home one weekend, he still to this day thinks I cheated on him because of a text that my cousin sent me. We had started to build a webpage for my cousin’s art work so he could sell it online. The server kept crashing so we didn’t get to finish it. Ronnie wanted to call my cousin but I wouldn’t let him. A few days later he was still fuming mad at me and wanted to go talk. I agreed to meet him outside of town at a cove we used to go to all the time. He yelled and screamed at me, insisted that I call the “motherfucker” so he could talk to him. My cousin wasn’t stupid he had seen the signs all along and hated Ronnie. Ronnie’s temper can go from cold too hot in a millisecond, I really think he’s bipolar and manic. When I tried to get out of the pickup he started to cry and begged me not to leave. I cried with him and wanted to help him get help, well—once he kissed me I knew he was going to use sex to try and make things right between us. I kept telling him no but he kept pushing and pushing. Then he snapped when he had me pinned underneath him, I screamed no and screamed for him to stop. He bit my neck, my lip, and clamped his hand around my throat while thrusting in and out of me. I gasped for air but never stopped saying no. When he was finished he laughed and told me to get the fuck out of his pickup. When I drove away he shot at my car and busted the passenger side tail light out.” Then she had me scroll through pictures, there was a huge bruised bite mark on her neck, her lip was swollen, her tail light on her car was shattered.
I quickly brushed the tears off of my face and felt anger boiling inside of me, he had lied to me. “Did you know he was going to ask you to marry him? That he bought the ring?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes, “He’s had that ring since his Freshman year, I’m not the first person he’s done this to, I was hoping I would be the last but it’s already going down that road with you. Please,” she reached across the table and grabbed my hands in hers, “Please, get away from him before things get worse. No woman deserves to have that happen to her.”
“How…how am I supposed to break up with him and know he’ll just leave me alone?”
“He won’t, he’ll stalk you, threaten you, and stalk you some more. Just never ever go anywhere by yourself. The college won’t do anything to him because he’s their big star quarterback.”
I sucked in a breath and slowly released it, “I’ll make some phone calls and have some guys here to keep an eye on him.” My first thought went to Cade and Bryan.
Shelby nodded her head, “He wants me to drop the charges because my attorney is fighting to have him arrested. His mom and step dad are stupid rich and want to pay me off. I’ll take the money when I know he’s getting help for his problem.” She told me then released my hands. “You have my number, don’t hesitate to call if you need to talk to somebody that’s been through it. Just promise me that when you end it with him you end it for good. Don’t fall for his pitty party. Trust me he’s really good about making a woman think it’s all her fault he acts the way he does. Truth is he’s got issues that stem back from childhood that he never has gotten help for.”
She gave me a tight hug before we left, my mind was spinning with everything that she had told me. It all made sense now, his mood swings were more than likely from the charges she was trying to press against him. Her not agreeing to the deal with his parents was pissing him off and he was scared of going to jail for what he had done to her, and the others before her. I swallowed down the bile that started to rise, how could he be so god damn good looking but so mean. I thought to myself as I drove back to the dorm in a daze. When I pulled into my parking stall my cell phone beeped with a message, it was from Cindy telling me that practice was cancelled because others were now sick. I only had one class that afternoon so I text Theresa to meet me at the dorm immediately after she was done with her class.
An hour later I was pacing our small room, nervously waiting for her to show up. When the door opened I jumped and covered my mouth until I seen it was Theresa. “God woman jumpy much…wait what the hell is wrong you look like you just seen a ghost. Are you feeling sick again? Practice is cancelled.” She was talking a million miles a minute.
I shook my head no, walked past her to the door and locked it then walked over to my bed and sat down. “Syd what the hell is wrong?” she asked and sat down beside me while she rubbed my back until I flinched.
“I wasn’t sick.” I said and the tears started to fall.
“Wait what do you mean? Is your back bothering you?” I could tell she was completely confused.
“I…,” I took my shirt off and turned my back to her so she could see the now green yellow bruise.”
“What in the FUCK is that from?” she yelled and spun me around by my shoulders. “That is NOT from a stunt!”
I shook my head no and cried against her shoulder, “He hit me that night I got back from my parents. I wasn’t sick for three days—I couldn’t go out in public because of the bruises on my face and my back was killing me.”
Tears welled up in her eyes then a single tear streaked down each cheek, “Ronnie…he—…”
I cut her off, “I didn’t meet mom for lunch today I met with Shelby.” Then I told her the same thing Shelby had told me.
“Oh my fucking – You need to go to the cops and get a restraining order.”
I shook my head, “The college won’t do anything to him and his parents have too much money. He’s gotten by with this for so long they think he’s a golden child that does no wrong. I’m scared Theresa. He’s going to flip out when I break up with him, I can’t, I don’t have that kind of fight in me.” I started sobbing. I loved him, I thought he loved me. Obviously I thought wrong and that broke my heart.
Theresa held me as I cried, I cried so hard I hiccupped and hyperventilated, “You’re not going to his house no matter how much he begs you. And, and, you’re not going anywhere alone I’m going to be stuck to you like glue. God I’m such a shitty friend, I was the one that thought you two belonged together.” She hugged me and cried with me.
“It’s not your fault, he’s got problems…he—“ a knock on the door caused us both to jump.
“Syd babe are you awake?” Ronnie said from the other side of the door.
Theresa and I both sat there with our hands covering our mouths and our eyes wide, he beat on the door again then called my cell phone. “Fuck!” Theresa mouthed when the ringing echoed in the room. Theresa pushed me into the bathroom and pointed at the shower, so I quickly stripped down and started the shower not even waiting for the water to warm up. When she rushed out she locked the door before she shut it so he couldn’t come in.
I sank down onto the floor of the tub, my mind reeling from everything that Shelby had said. “Babe, you want me to wait for you?�
�� Ronnie said from the other side of the door.
“I uh, wait for me?” I stuttered out.
“I figured we could go over to my place and study together then watch a movie, Theresa has a migraine I think she needs her quiet time.”
“Not tonight, I’m exhausted. I think I might actually be coming down with the flu that’s going around the campus.”
“Babe, they figured out it wasn’t the flu it was food poisoning from a bad batch of chicken served at the cafeteria.” He said with a chuckle.
“Oh, I really just want to stay here tonight.” I waited for him to pound the door in but instead I heard the door of our dorm slam. A few minutes later Theresa tapped on the door, “He’s gone Syd.” I shut the shower off wrapped a towel around me and opened the door, “He’s fucking pissed, so bad he was shaking. Surely he won’t come back will he?”
I rummaged through my dresser for some shorts and a t-shirt, “I hope not, I’m scared half to death. If he’s that mad that I won’t go stay with him, he’s going to flip out when I break up with him.”
We sat in silence lost in our thoughts when my cell phone beeped with a message;
Ronnie: Please babe I have a really bad feeling I can’t lose you.
I showed it to Theresa, “God he sounds so sweet and caring when he says things like that but it’s all just to keep you coming back. You’ve gotta get help Syd. If you don’t call the MC I’m going to. End of story.”
“Not my dad, he can’t find out about it. He was almost murderous over a hickey, he will kill him with his own hands if he finds this out.”
At the same time we both said “Bryan.”
I scrolled through my phone contacts, my hands were shaking as I hovered over his name. I took a deep breath and pressed the green call button. The phone rang three times before he answered, “What’s up Syd?” he said.
