by H. M. Montes
His eyes widened when he seen me standing there naked pointing a gun at Ronnie. I heard my dad calling out my name as he ran down the hallway and skidded to a stop beside Cade. “Baby…give me the gun.” He tried to say with a soothing tone. I never took my eyes off of Ronnie.
“He—raped me.” I said just above a whisper loud enough for the others to hear. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye then Cade slowly grabbed the barrel of the pistol and twisted a barrel on the end and stepped back.
“You bitch, you liked it! A fucking silencer? Really? She’s gotta be brave enough to…” I squeezed the trigger, expecting a bang to deafen me, instead a high pitched zing echoed around the room. “YOU FUCKING WHORE…you shot me!” Ronnie was holding his right shoulder where the bullet had grazed him.
“You RAPED ME!” I screamed the gun now shaking in my hands.
My dad walked over to Ronnie and punched him in the face until Ronnie sagged to the floor, bleeding more from his nose and blood running down his chest from his shoulder. “If she doesn’t fucking kill you I will.” My dad screamed in his face then stepped back when Cade pulled him away. My eyes were still on Ronnie. Tears stung my eyes. I lowered the gun and pointed it at his dick. “You won’t!” Ronnie spat. I squeezed the trigger again. His scream was muffled by Cade’s foot connecting with his mouth mashing his face into the carpet.
“Easy…it’s just me baby.” My dad said as he walked over to me. His hands held out in front of him, his movement slow. “Give me the gun baby girl.” He told me and held his hand out to me. Slowly I turned the safety on and handed dad the gun, Ronnie’s screams echoed in my ears followed by Theresa screaming my name just before my world went black.
We combed Ronnie’s hometown for going on four days, we went to his step dad’s law firm, their house…the mother fucker knew we were after him. And they all were hiding from us, they all had people covering their ass’s.
“Fuck it, he’ll show his face eventually. He’s going to be one sorry son of a bitch when he does.” Lucifer said as he slammed the door of his black GMC.
We pulled out of town and cruised behind Lucifer through the darkness of the night. A nagging feeling in my gut had been bothering me all day that something bad was going to go down. I kept pushing it aside, ignoring my inner voice. Bryan signaled that his phone had been buzzing in his pocket, he held his hand up in a phone gesture then held up five fingers. He pulled over causing all of us stop and Lucifer to pull over onto the shoulder a ways ahead of us.
“Slow down Theresa, what do you mean you can’t get in.” His eyes darted at me, then Lucifer’s pickup and back at me. I twisted the throttle and tore down interstate. The nagging feeling in my gut getting stronger the closer to town I got. I knew from the look Bryan had given me that something was wrong with Sydney since Theresa had been staying with her. I sent up prayers that nothing bad was happening to her or had happened to her. The dual exhaust of Lucifer’s pickup going around me and the rumble of the club members catching up with me broke my blank stare on the dark highway in front of me. It was like everything was in slow motion, the road seemed to grow longer, the city lights seemed to get further and further away no matter how hard I twisted the bike throttle. Sydney’s beautiful hazel eyes and her soft lips whispering how much she loved me played over and over in my mind. “I love you so much.”
Finally we reached the city, and barely slowed down. We blew through red lights, through stop signs, and nearly ran cars off the road to get to Sydney’s house. Lucifer drove right up in her front yard, slammed his pickup in park and ran for her front door. He threw his shoulder into it but it didn’t budge. Frantically he flipped flower pots over looking for the spare key she kept hidden taped to the bottom of one. I barely had the kick stand down on my chopper before I was running away from it. With one hard kick the door flew open, I could hear muffled screams coming from her bedroom, I ran down the hall with all the members behind me. One twist of the handle and it didn’t open so I kicked it in, the door slammed against the wall and almost shut in my face. Nothing could have prepared me for what was in front of me. Sydney was naked, bleeding from her mouth, her hair was tangled and matted with blood, a black eye was forming and there was a huge bite mark on her shoulder. Ronnie was naked and had his back to the wall, head tipped back and blood running out of his nose. What drew my attention back to Sydney was the click of the safety on the pistol she was shakily pointing at Ronnie.
I could faintly hear her dad talking to her, but the blood thundering in my ears made it impossible to understand him. When Sydney said the word Rape, I knew, I fucking knew he was a going to be a dead man. I reached into my cut pocket and pulled out a silencer. If he was going to die the neighbors sure as hell didn’t need to know about it. Ronnie laughed at something he had said while licking his lips and looking at Sydney like she was his next meal. His shoulder jerked and blood splattered the wall behind him, Lucifer’s fist connected with his face as he screamed out in pain. He pounded and pounded on him until I pulled him away. I pushed the soul of my boot against his temple, if I pushed hard enough I could crush his fucking skull. He had raped my Sydney, he had hurt my Sydney. The next pop from the silencer was followed by Ronnie’s blood curdling scream. My eyes darted over his body, then blooded started running onto the floor. She had shot him in the nuts. I looked over at her as her dad slowly walked towards her, she put the safety on and handed him the gun. Theresa’s screams made my hearing finally come back, I caught Sydney just before she passed out.
Ronnie’s cries for help were soon muffled by his own t-shirt as the club members started to take him out of the room. His shoulder bleeding and his nut sack split wide open, he was going to bleed to death unless Lucifer had some kind of mercy on him and dropped him off at the emergency room and left him. Ronnie’s face was starting to turn ashy in color and his eyes were starting to sink into his skull. I gently laid Sydney’s head in Theresa lap and rushed behind my brothers before they could get him out the door. Lucifer was sitting on the couch, tears rolling down his cheeks and the pistol in his hand. “Cade I want to kill the mother fucker.” He said in a gruff voice.
“Don’t.” I said.
His head snapped up, “He needs to fucking die, men like him will keep doing this until…”
“And he’ll be dead while Sydney has to struggle to get better. If she’s going to have a long road ahead of her, he should too. I can promise you, she will heal. He won’t.” I looked over at Ronnie he was on the verge of death from blood loss.
Lucifer looked at Ronnie then at me, pulled his phone out and called 911, he gave the dispatcher the address and told her there had been a shooting. He handed me the gun, “Take the silencer off.” He walked over to Ronnie and tipped his chin so Ronnie could see his face. “I can promise you, motherfucker, this won’t be the last time you see my face, his face, or any of the others in this room.” He spit in Ronnie’s face and walked out of the room with his phone up to his ear.
With the silencer stuffed back inside my cut I walked over and bent down to Ronnie’s level, “You ever fucking touch another woman like that again and you’re a dead man. But don’t worry you’re dick won’t work right ever again…and,” I stood and kicked his knee breaking the knee cap, “You’ll never fucking run, walk, or crawl without the memory of your stupid fucking mistake. You fucked with my woman and I’ll make god damn sure your life is miserable from this day on.” I stepped away as the cops ran through the door, followed by Sydney’s mom.
~~~~
Sydney cried for three days, she wouldn’t eat, she wouldn’t talk to me. She just laid in her bedroom at her parent’s house and stared out the window. “Go away Cade.” She sniffled and started crying again.
“Sorry but I’m not leaving, you can try to push me away Sydney. You’ll have to get used to me being here.” I told her and sat down on the bed beside her. When she flinched, I balled my hands into fists. “Can I at least hold your hand?” I asked.
“No.”
I laid back on the too small bed and stared at the ceiling. “He’s not dead.” I broke the silence.
“You…dad…he’s not?” she stuttered out and rolled over to look at me. I rolled and faced her, then tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Each tear that fell down her cheek felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.
“No, I wouldn’t let your dad kill him. I wanted to, trust me, I would have loved to have finished him off with a shot to the head. You definitely left your mark on him yourself.”
Sydney had no idea what she had done, she couldn’t remember pulling the trigger both times, “What did I do?”
I grabbed her hand and placed it against my chest, “You shot his dick and balls.” I told her.
She turned ghost white, “Oh god.” She yanked her hand and covered her mouth.
“Oh he’s still got one, and one nut, he’s just missing a chunk of his shaft.”
She started sobbing, “God Cade I was so scared, it hurt so bad. He—was like a monster that couldn’t or wouldn’t stop. I’ll never forget the look in his eyes when he started to…” she was sobbing.
I pulled her against my chest, until she pushed away and tried to kiss me. I let her lips rest against mine then she tried to deepen the kiss. “Poison, he tasted like poison. Make it go away.” She cried against my lips.
“Syd stop…just stop. You can’t, I can’t make it go away yet. This is going to take time, I’m going to be right here with you. You can yell at me, scream at me, hit me, whatever you have to do. I can’t do more than hold you and comfort you right now.”
“You—have to Cade. Please, please?” she was kissing me begging me to kiss her back. The very second my hand touched her cheek she froze, her skin paled and she stopped.
“R…rewind.” She said around a sob and rolled away from me. She didn’t pull away when I pulled her against me and wrapped my arms around her. This road to recovery was going to be long and no doubt painful for all of us. But, we would get through it one day at a time.
“I love you Sydney.” I whispered and kissed her head.
I woke up in the hospital, my shoulder was burning with pain but the pain in my groin area made me dry heave into the little pink canister that was on the cart. I tried to lift my other hand but the handcuffs clanking against the rail and biting into my skin made me stop.
What the fuck had happened? I squeezed my eyes shut but couldn’t remember what had happened. A hard kick against my bed made pain shoot up my body.
“If you’re trying to remember what you fucking did you asshole, you raped my daughter.” Lucifer stepped closer to the bed. “I wanted to fucking kill you, Cade wouldn’t let me.” He reached up and pinched the IV line shut cutting off the circulation of pain medication. After a couple of minutes my body felt like I had been hit by a steam roller. He laughed, “That pain your feeling is from her, with love of course. You’re now down one fucking nut and missing some flesh and muscle from your dick. If I ever, ever, fucking hear that you do this to another woman. I will end you.” He released the IV line.
I searched frantically for the call light to get help but couldn’t find it, I looked at him, “Get out.” I rasped.
“Oh no, I’m waiting for your dear old mommy and step daddy to get here. I can’t wait to see their faces. I can’t wait to tell them what you did that landed you in the hospital.”
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember raping Sydney, “I don’t remember doing it.” I told him.
“Probably not, you were almost dead when the EMT’s showed up.” Her dad told me and sat down in a chair, kicked his feet up on the bed and stared at me.
When mom and Peter showed up Lucifer slowly stood up from the chair. “Who are you?”
He smiled, “I’m Lucifer we’ve got some business to take care of. Your son’s future is relying heavily on what I have to say.”
In the end Lucifer walked out with a check for a very large sum, I faded in and out of consciousness so the dollar amount I wasn’t even sure of.
I never went to jail or faced any charges. Because Lucifer was right, I would pay for my stupid decision the rest of my life.
No matter what people tell you, there is no time limit to recover from what Ronnie did to me. It was almost six months before I let Cade even touch me intimately. He never got mad, he never tried to push me to do more than what I felt safe doing.
I slowly started to get back in to a daily routine. With the insurance money and a massive settlement with Ronnie’s family my dad had a crew come in and build a new studio. Clients were beyond helpful with everything and were more than willing to work around my schedule.
The best choice I made after everything was agreeing that I needed to talk to a counselor. Without her, Cade, my family, and friends, I would have never left my room. “Up you go!” Cade had said after he flung the curtains open in my room since I was still staying with my parents. He flipped the blankets off of me I screamed and kicked at him as he carried me over his shoulder into the bathroom. His steel bicep securely holding me in place as the hot water steamed up the bathroom.
“Put me down, put me down.” I was panicking and punching his back.
He put my feet on the tile floor and bent down so he was in my face, “You are going to your appointment today even if I have to fucking drag you there kicking and screaming. Then we are going shopping, yes fucking shopping, then after that we are going to one of those beauty parlor places and you’re getting a haircut.”
“Fuck you, you can’t make me do any of that.” His clothes were dripping wet.
“I can and I fucking will.”
I tried to slap him but he caught my wrist, “I’m sorry that he did that to you Syd. Trust me every fucking day I wish I would have killed him. This is hard on all of us. Do you know why I didn’t kill him?” I shook my head no, “Because you, you,” he tapped his finger to my naked chest, “You can get better and you will get better. Ronnie, well, for the rest of his life every time he takes a piss he’s going to remember what he did. Who he fucked with, you are strong in here and here.” He pointed at my chest and then at my head. “Now are you done trying to slap me?”
I threw myself at him and let the tears fall, “I’m so sorry.” I repeated over and over. I pulled away and captured his lips with mine. “I love you.” I whispered then kissed him again. Oh how I had missed this, this man was my everything even when I tried to push him away. He always waited patiently, loving me from a distance, loving me when I was pretty sure the rest of the world thought I was tarnished by what Ronnie had done to me.
~~~~
-1 Year Later-
Present Time
“Okay watch us one more time then we will slow it down and get you started on your new routine.” I smiled big at the eager high school squad that was watching Ryan, Theresa, and me as we danced to the newest dance mix. Ryan hoisted me up, “Stop, put me down….hurry….” I said with wide eyes waiting for Ryan to catch me. The very second my feet hit the floor I darted across the dance floor and puked into the nearby trash can.
