“Oh yeah,” Charli grins. “Don’t get me wrong. She works here too. She practically has like three full-time jobs looking after this place. She manages it during the day, takes care of nearly one hundred staff and always works a shift at night, whether it be waitressing or working the bar. She adores this place. It’s her baby. No wonder she doesn’t have time for dating.”
Fuck me. I think I just fell in love.
I’m itching to get out of my seat and go to her, but the fact that she’s an incredibly hard worker and one of the most motivated people on the earth doesn’t change the fact that she doesn’t want to date me.
Everything Charli has just said comes with the realization that after the past few weeks with endless chasing, I still hardly know the girl, and all I want in this moment is to lock her in a room and force her to spill every fucking detail of herself until I’m exploding with information.
Shit, I can’t believe I’m just going to let this girl slip through my fingers. I must be a fucking fool, but there’s not a lot I can do if she’s not interested in a relationship.
After that, Charli gets stuck into a conversation with Zara about some ridiculous girly shit and the boys lounge around, that is until the girls decide that it’s time to dance and drag the boys to their feet.
Xander groans and I know for a fact he shouldn’t be spending his night dancing. He should be relaxing. His body has just been through a massive ordeal and he should be spending the next week laying on the couch in front of the television, not exerting all his energy, but the kid is going to do just about anything to spend every last minute of his spare time with his girl.
Jesus. It makes me feel like a jealous fool.
I get up with the guys and head on inside the club. Caden, Luke and I find a table while Jace slinks off towards the bar, only he already has a full drink. I get myself comfortable as I look up at the bar to find him leaning across and flirting with that chick again.
I roll my eyes. What the hell does Jace think he’s doing with that girl? She’s not his speed at all. She looks sweet and innocent. Hell, she even blushes every time she sees him. Jace is usually going after girls who fall into bed and are gone before he wakes, but this girl is not that. She’s the kind who’d stick around and claw her way in.
He needs to stay away, otherwise, the shit will hit the fan and it’s not going to be pretty. She’ll be crushed and he’ll be a prick.
With the others dancing, Caden, Luke and I fall into an easy conversation which mainly consists of the ins and outs of the fight. Caden and I speak animatedly about being on the sideline while Luke takes it all in before he gives all his comments on the view he was getting in the stands.
It’s just after one in the morning and a few of the bar staff have left, so I’m not surprised when Rylee shows her face to cover for them. I have to glue my ass to the seat to avoid trying again with her. Though, just because I’m staying right here, doesn’t mean my eyes can’t wander.
With Luke’s encouragement, a few girls come over to our table and make themselves comfortable. Their presence has Jace returning with a few extra drinks and before we know it, there’s a party going on.
A cute brunette works on getting my attention and I try my hardest to give it to her, but to be honest, I’m really not feeling it, and from the looks of it, either is Caden. He sits with a girl curled into his side. She’s busy telling him something while he looks off into the distance grunting every now and then before he begins giving all his attention to his phone.
Jace and Luke, on the other hand, have absolutely no issues giving the girls what they’re looking for.
I feel Rylee’s eyes on me and I look up to find a scowl on her face. I raise an eyebrow at her and she looks away with a stubborn as fuck huff. I grin as I turn back to the table. We’ve been doing this little dance for the past hour and I’m starting to grow tired of it. If she wants to talk to me, she can get that perky little ass of hers over here. As I said, I’m done chasing.
The night goes on and I quickly get bored. Xander and Charli soon excuse themselves and Jace disappears with two of the girls which is when I call it quits.
I get up from the table and say goodnight to everyone. The brunette stands as if she’s about to come with me and I shake my head. “Not tonight, sweetheart,” I say.
She presses her lips together but takes the rejection well. She sits back down and starts cozying up to Caden’s other side, only he’s still solely focused on texting someone that he hardly notices the girl.
I turn and walk towards the door with my eyes on the bar. Rylee watches me as I go and I see the longing in her eyes. She takes a step in my direction and I find myself slowing.
Holy shit. Is she actually going to make some sort of move?
She hesitates for a moment and I want to scream. Come on, baby. The balls in your court. All you have to do is walk this way.
She presses her lips together and I see an apology in her eyes before she retreats back behind the bar.
Damn it.
I shake my head ever so slightly and turn away. I walk out of The Dark Room feeling like shit. How is it this woman is driving me so insane?
Chapter 11
Rylee
Holy crap. What am I thinking?
Cole has been here all night and I’ve been hiding in my office like a fucking loser. Why do I find it so hard to talk to him? He’s just a guy. I mean, a really attractive guy who happens to have my whole body shaking with a desperate, intense need. Cole made me feel things I’ve never felt before and I can’t help but want more.
He’s a machine and I haven’t been able to bring myself to be with anyone else since him. Which is so not like me at all. I don’t get attached to my conquests. I get screwed within an inch of my life and I move on. I’ve already broken my rules by sleeping with him a second time and now it’s almost like I have… feelings for him. Ugh. What’s happening to me? I’m losing my edge.
It’s been a month since I first met him and I’m really struggling. He’s making me consider things I’d never thought I wanted for myself and I’m so damn confused, but more so, I’m scared. I’m scared of giving my heart away and never getting it back again. I’m scared he will tear me to shreds the same way my father did to my mother.
I wish I could be like all those regular chicks. I wish I could just swoon over a guy and deliver my heart on a silver platter. But no. I’m closed off. No one will ever get near my heart and I worry I’ll grow old and alone. I mean, I’d love to have children and a family one day, but in order to do that, I need to learn to open up. I need to learn how to love.
Shit, I need Cami to rub some of her sweet gooiness into me.
I stand at the bar watching as he walks out the door. His eyes lock on mine in that same intense way that they always do and I feel my knees going weak. In a moment of weakness, I find myself stepping out from the bar and going after him.
Cole slows as he watches me and I see the relief in his eyes like my rejection has been causing him heart failure. Shit, does he really like me that much? My heart starts beating out of control. The club around me fades to the background and it’s only me and Cole who exist at the moment.
I take another step and reality hits me. If I go after him then this is it. I’ll have to face my fears, but I’m not ready for that. I pause by the bar and the look on his face nearly kills me. Shit. Can I do this?
Crap. Crap. Crap. I can’t do this.
I was worried about him tearing me to shreds, yet here I am doing it to myself.
My eyes drop to the ground and I start to retreat. I can’t find it within me to look at him as I know what I’ll see on his face isn’t going to be good.
I find my spot behind the bar and I feel like the worst kind of bitch. I wish he would stop showing up in my life, at least that way I won’t be able to keep hurting him. I look up as I watch him waking out the door and I feel like some part of myself is leaving with him, but that ridiculous. I hardly know him.
>
I felt like absolute shit when he left with that girl the other night at Micky’s and here I am letting him walk out again. What the fuck is wrong with me? What if I’m making a massive mistake by not giving it a go.
Shit.
I run after him and slam my fists into the doors so they’ll open that much faster. I see his shadow out in the parking lot and I chase him down. The lights on his truck flash as he unlocks it and his whole body is momentarily lit up.
The sound of my footfalls echoes through the parking lot as I chase after him. He turns at the sound and the second his eyes fall on mine I come to a screeching halt.
Holy shit. My heart pounds and I can hardly hear a thing over the sound of my rapid pulse.
Why is this so terrifying?
Cole stands on the spot, waiting for me to come to him, and so he should after the hell I’ve probably been putting him through. He always wears his heart on his sleeve and here I am constantly trampling on it. Fuck, I’m such a bitch.
We stand in the parking lot staring at each other. Me too scared to say a word while he’s too stubborn to help me out.
I have no doubt he sees the longing in my eyes, but it’s also clouded by fear.
He lets out a sigh as he crosses his arms over his huge chest and leans against his truck. “Is there something you need?” he questions with a straight face.
Just great, he’s going to be a stubborn ass about it. I do my best to swallow down my fear, but I don’t do such a great job at it. “I… ah…” Shit. I must sound like a fool. My lip disappears between my teeth as I realize I have no idea what I want to say.
He watches me for a moment before pushing off his truck and walking towards me, almost as if he’s a predator stalking his prey. He comes right up into my personal bubble but doesn’t dare touch me and I have to crane my neck to see into his gorgeous eyes.
“What do you want?” he asks with meaning in the lowest, most smoldering tone that has my insides quivering.
I swallow as I try to regain the use of my legs. “I, um… heard your fighter won his thing,” I say, completely avoiding his question.
“Rylee,” he demands. “What do you want?” I find it hard to keep looking into his eyes and I glance away. My hands grow sweaty and I feel a full-on panic attack coming on. “Eyes up here, honey,” he says.
I look back up at him and cringe. Shit, if I can’t even talk about the possibility of us then there’s no way I’m ready for the real thing. “I…,” I start shaking my head. “I’m sorry.”
I start to back away but he reaches out and takes my elbow. “Oh no, you don’t,” he says as he steps in close to me again. As soon as he’s certain I’m not about to bolt, he runs his fingers down the side of my face, the same way he had done at Micky’s Bar. “You want me?” he questions in a gentle tone that makes him not sound like a complete twat.
I nod my head ever so softly as my face melts into his hand. “You’re not ready?” he asks.
“No,” I whisper.
He nods his head with understanding and I finally feel better about this whole situation. Pain flashes behind his eyes and I realize that I’m not going to like whatever he’s about to say. “I’m done chasing you, Rylee,” he tells me.
My eyes drop. That hurt a lot more than I had hoped. He pushes my hair behind my ear, causing me to look back up. “I’m not nearly done with you, though.”
My eyes widen in shock. What does he mean? He’s done chasing, but he’s not finished with me? I’m lost.
Unable to stop myself, I reach out and fist my hand into his shirt. The movement has him coming impossibly closer. His hand wraps around the back of my neck and I tilt my face up to his. He lowers his face as his eyes bore into mine.
I’ve never wanted to kiss someone so badly in my life. My eyes lower to his lips. If I kiss him, I never go back. He’ll be stuck in my mind for all of eternity. It’s absolutely ridiculous, I’ve slept with the man in the back of his truck, but I have a hard time kissing him.
Shit, if I don’t do this now, he’ll slip through my fingers, and I don’t think I can bear the thought of that. I let out a shaky breath and tighten my frightened fingers in his shirt. I push up onto my tippy toes and close the distance, finally giving myself exactly what I’ve been craving for the past month.
His lips move softly against mine and I melt like a popsicle. My eyes close with the overwhelming satisfaction and I fear I’ll drown in a river of Cole.
Cole’s arm wraps around my body and pulls me right in so we’re pressed together, so close it’s almost like our bodies are one.
I let out a moan and he deepens the kiss. His tongue circles mine and it’s like I’ve died and gone to Cole heaven.
Wow, just wow. This is… shit. I have no words.
The last time I was kissed by a man, I must have been fourteen. It was awful and sloppy. I swear, I must have had more of his saliva in my mouth than he had in his, from then on, kissing had become sacred. I swore to myself that I’d only do it with a man that truly deserved it, and he certainly deserves it.
It also goes right along with my fear of commitment. To me, when you kiss a man, you bare your soul to him, and I was right. It’s terrifying but so damn good. Hmmm, I could only imagine how good it would be if I actually let Cole kiss me during sex, now that’d be mind-blowing.
Cole pulls back and rests his forehead against mine. He lets out a slow breath before running his hand down my back. “You sure you’re not ready?” he murmurs.
I can’t help but smile. “I’m sure,” I tell him as I take a step backward.
I go to turn when he calls out. “Hey,” he says. I stop and look back at him. “I was serious when I said I’m done chasing. From now on, you come to me.”
“You got yourself a deal,” I tell him before walking away. I get halfway back to the club when I turn back to look at him. His eyes are flaming as he watches me go. A smile rests on his lips and I find myself impatient for the next time we meet, hoping that by then, I’ll finally be ready to break all my rules.
Chapter 12
Cole
“It was a fucking surprise,” Jace says to Luke as I walk through the door to the lunch room.
“What was?” I ask as I take a seat between them. “Someone got you with a finger in the ass again?”
Jace’s eyes darken. “Dude, that happened one time.”
“Ha, right,” I chuckle. “You know what? I don’t even want to know.”
Jace rolls his eyes as Luke cuts off his reply. “Where’s Caden?” he asks. “I’ve got some news for you guys.”
“What news?” I grunt as I narrow my eyes at him.
“Patience, mother fucker,” he says.
I shake my head. This couldn’t be good. If it was something he knew we’d all be thrilled about, he would have told Jace the second he walked into the room and blurted it out again when I sat down. But when he waits for all of us, it’s never good.
Jace’s phone vibrates against the table and he flicks it over to see the screen. A smile rips across his face before he hashes out a reply and places it back down.
Caden walks in and heads straight for the fridge. “Where the fuck have you been?” Jace grunts as Caden pulls out his lunch and throws it in the microwave.
Caden hits start on the microwave and turns to leans against the counter. He scoffs at Jace before his eyes flick to me as if asking what the fuck is going on. “Jace was about to tell us how his latest conquest got him with the whole fist this time.”
“Fuck off,” Jace grunts as Luke and Caden break into snickers.
“Why so defensive?’ Caden asks. “I bet you liked it, you know, after the initial sting.”
“And the shock,” Luke adds with a knowing nod. “There had to be shock.”
“For sure,” I agree as I hold my fist up to Luke.
Luke bumps it against his as Jace shakes his head and relaxes back into his seat. His arms cross over his chest as a heavy scowl replaces his smirk. “I
hate you fuckers.”
“Nah, you don’t,” Caden says as the microwave beeps and he retrieves his lunch. He grabs a fork from the drawer and flops down into the fourth seat. “Now,” he asks as he shovels a fork full into his mouth and looks up at Luke. “Why the fuck have you dragged me in here? I was session planning.”
Luke lets out a nervous breath, making my eyebrows lower in concern. His eyes flick between us all and it seems to be taking forever for him to spit it out. “Dude,” I grunt. “What the fuck is going on?”
His eyes meet Jace’s across the table and a seriousness settles over him. “I’m heading back out on tour. I’ll be deploying in three weeks.”
“Fuck,” I grunt as my mind begins to spin. What the fuck was he thinking?
I look up at Jace, knowing he isn’t going to take this well. Jace and Luke had been in the military for as long as I can remember. They were in the same unit and their last tour had a few complications which nearly cost them their lives.
Jace looks up at Luke with absolute betrayal. “I thought we were done? Our commitment was up,” he says with anger.
A guilty expression crosses Luke’s face as he looks across to his best friend. “I re-enlisted,” he confesses quietly.
“Fuck,” Jace curses as he pushes up from his chair and kicks it across the room. It slams into the glass wall before falling to the ground. I hold my tongue at the way the glass cracks. There’s a time and place for everything, and this is not it.
Jace looks back at Luke with his lips pressed into a heavy scowl before he starts pacing. “What the fuck were you thinking?” he roars. “The last one nearly killed us. We were done.”
“I know, man,” Luke says. “I just… I have to do this. The military has been my life. I couldn’t just turn my back on it.”
“What?” Jace grunts. “And you think I did?”
“No,” Luke argues as he stands to face Jace. “You did your time. I wasn’t finished yet. I’m not done, Jace.”
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