My heart rate rises, but I give her what she needs.
I reach the back of my shirt and shrug out of it. I toss it on the bathroom floor and watch as she studies my torso with her heart breaking. She reaches out for my chest once again and gently traces her fingers over the angry scars. “How long have you been back?” she questions as she places her whole palm down across my abs.
“About four months,” I tell her.
With a nervousness in her eyes, she steps in even closer so our bodies are pressed together, then looks up at me with those big eyes. “You’re a hero,” she tells me before pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. “You could have left Ben behind, or you could have given up, but you didn’t. You fought enough for both of you. You’re the bravest man I’ve ever known.”
With that, she pushes away from me and walks out of the bathroom. I listen as her footfalls take her up the hallway and straight out the front door.
What I don’t expect, is how the sound of the door closing behind her has me feeling like I can’t let go. I should stay right here and think over what I just told her, taking a minute to work out the thoughts going through my head.
But all I can think about is the way she took the pain away when she touched me. The way she looked at me, even after knowing that I’d taken a man’s life. The way it felt when I wrapped my arm around her and the way she makes me see more than my fucked up past.
All those things have me stepping out of the bathroom and heading straight back up the hallway. I reach the door and rip it open before making my way to her. If Iraq taught me anything, it’s not to take the little things for granted and to never hold back.
Chapter 13
Lexi
My heart aches for the man I just left next door.
How could somebody possibly go through something like that and be strong enough to come out of it the way Luke has? He truly is the bravest man I have ever known.
Something clicked within me as he was telling me his story. My heart broke and I couldn’t help but gravitate towards him. I could never come close to imagining the kind of pain he endured, but I feel as though I understand him now.
It finally makes sense that he is the way he is.
He’s this hard man on the outside who takes no shit from anybody. But then, he has these rare moments when all his troubles fade away and he grins like a child on Easter morning who just remembered he has an Easter egg hunt to enjoy.
Those rare moments always seem to come out when he’s messing with me or acting as though he’s a stubborn ass, which I now realize is in fact acting. He’s not an ass at all. He just has a hard exterior that I have no doubt has only become so hard during his time in Iraq.
Fuck. I can’t even comprehend what he went through.
I stand in my living room and I sink to the floor. My heart doesn’t know how to handle it. I tried my hardest to remain strong for him when all I wanted to do was break down and cry.
It’s almost as though he could read me, that he knew I needed him to hold me. I don’t even remember moving towards him, but somehow, I did. He wrapped his arm around my waist and held me as I listened to the rapid beat of his heart. He was the one going through turmoil, yet I’ve never been so comforted in my life.
I don’t know what I was thinking when I asked to see his scars. It was incredibly insensitive of me and the second I asked, I felt awful. He probably thought I was prying, but then he went and surprised me as he reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head.
He bore his soul to me and stood there, vulnerable, as he showed me the extent of his pain. He didn’t go into detail about how the torture happened and I’m glad he didn’t. I wouldn’t have been able to stomach it, but from the way his body is covered with angry scarring, he didn’t need to. I can see for myself. But seeing the scars that are left behind is nothing to what he would have witnessed and felt.
All I wanted was to hold him, even now, I want to go back over there and cling to him. Who would have thought that the man who has driven me to near insanity over the past few weeks was capable of bringing such emotion out of me?
It’s surprising how he’s so easily fit into my life. After talking with the girls last night, it’s becoming more and more clear that he cares for me, even though he has a weird way of showing it. Every single time I’ve been in trouble or needed even the slightest help, he’s been there.
Not once did he have to help me. I never asked for it, but he’s always there. And while he’s stubborn and infuriating, he’s always gentle and caring. I mean, I’m certain I fell asleep on the floor last night, yet I woke in my bed. The house was locked up, the speaker was missing, and the lights were out. It had to be him, there’s just no other option.
I sit on the floor with my knees up and my arms wrapped around them. I rest my chin on my knees and let out a sigh. Would it be wrong for me to go back over there?
I don’t have to wonder for long when my front door is thrown open.
My head snaps up and I look at the man who stands in the doorway, still shirtless, looking as though he’s been wondering the same damn thing.
He walks towards me and I get to my feet. “What are you doing here?” I question quietly.
Without responding, he just keeps coming.
He reaches me and without a word, brings his hand up and wraps it around the back of my neck. His thumb runs up and down my skin in a caress as his eyes bore into mine.
It’s intense. My heart races and my eyes search his.
I suck in a breath as he pulls himself closer. He looks just as confused as I feel, but that doesn’t stop him. He walks me backward until my back is pressed right up against the wall. His other hand comes to rest on my waist and he slides his fingers under the hem of my shirt. His touch is rough, but gentle at the same time and I don’t miss how he treats me like a precious piece of crystal.
I gasp as my mind catches up with what’s happening, but he doesn’t give me a chance to think. His lips come down on mine.
I melt.
The feeling flooding through me is something I’ve never felt before and it’s terrifying.
I haven’t been touched by a man in four years and the second he touched me, my body came alive. His hands wind down my body and grasp me around my back before pulling me in harder against him.
His overwhelming scent wraps around me and I feel as though I could drown in it. What’s happening? Just moments ago, this guy drove me insane. In fact, he still does. But as he touches me, I completely lose all train of thought.
“Tell me to stop,” he murmurs against my lips.
Tell him to stop? No. That would be devastating. I didn’t know I needed it, but now that I’ve experienced his touch, I might die without it.
“I can’t,” I pant as my hands roam up his solid chest.
A low groan comes from deep within his chest and I feel it vibrate against my hands. The sound has an ache bubbling up in my stomach that makes me crave it that much more. I don’t understand what’s happening, but then, I don’t want to know. I want nothing more than to lose myself in Luke, if just for today.
We can go back to our strange love/hate relationship tomorrow. For now, I need him to keep touching me.
His lips move from mine and travel down to the sensitive skin of my neck, but he doesn’t just kiss it, he devours it. Electric currents shoot through my body and I tilt my head back, needing more.
My hands roam over his warm skin, feeling the tight ridges of his muscled body before I slide my hand up his back and into his hair as he continues on my neck. A moan slips from my lips and it seems to drive him on.
Luke’s hands travel down past my ass and he lifts me in one easy go. I wrap my legs around his waist as his lips come back to mine before he walks us down to the guest bedroom.
I kiss him greedily and I feel as though I can’t get enough. His touch is intoxicating and his lips are nothing short of heavenly. He lays me down on the bed and his large body comes down on top of mine.
The pressure of his body against mine is exactly what I need, especially after not feeling a man’s touch in so long. My body has completely come alive and I feel like if he were to stop, I’d suffocate.
Jeremy is the only man I’ve ever been with, and truth be told, it wasn’t great. I didn’t enjoy sex. It was quick, passionless, and all about him. For me, it was about the possibility of becoming pregnant. Nothing else.
But Luke, Luke is a real man. He’s one hundred percent pure alpha. It’s already explosive and I’m still fully dressed. I’ve never felt excited about sex, but right now, I can’t wait to see and feel every tiny little detail.
Luke’s hands slide up my shirt, bunching the fabric as he goes. A moment later, he slides it up and over my head, pressing his skin against mine. His hands instantly begin exploring before sliding his hands around my back and unhooking my bra.
It comes off and he cups my bare breasts in his hands. He squeezes and rubs his thumb over my nipple and I feel that same shot of electricity pulsing through my body. I arch up into him and dig my nails into the back of his strong shoulders.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he murmurs before sucking my nipple into his mouth and moving his tongue across it.
“Shit,” I pant before sucking in a breath.
I didn’t know my body could be so responsive, but here with him, he’s already showing me pleasure my body has never experienced before.
I can’t wait any longer. The need is too strong, and for me, it’s been way too long.
Reaching for his jeans, I flick the button before he helps me to slide them down his legs. Next to go is his underwear. As they slide down, I feel his erection land against my stomach. It’s heavy and the feel of it sitting there waiting for me, has me reaching for it.
I take his length in my hand and wrap my fingers around his velvety skin. His pure size has it impossible for my fingers to completely wrap around him, so I use both hands. One pumping up and down while the other takes hold of his tip.
He practically rips my pants from my legs and I instantly wrap my legs around him.
Luke’s lips come back to mine as he truly begins exploring my body. His hand travels down my body and cups me between my legs.
I gasp at the touch.
Holy shit. He’s only just getting started and my body is already nearing the end. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to handle what he’s putting down. His finger slips in between my folds before finding that little bundle of nerves.
He presses down and rubs tiny little circles, sending my body into overdrive before going down and slipping his fingers inside.
I bite down on my lip as my fist squeezes around him.
In. out. In. out.
I can’t wait any longer.
“I need you,” I murmur with a gasp against his lips.
“Are you sure?” he questions. “Because once I start, I’m not going to be able to stop,” he tells me as his eyes flick over my body. “Not with this.”
As I arch up into him, he swallows my moans with his lips. “Yes, I need it,” I say with urgency.
I see the same need reflected in his eyes before he adjusts our bodies, lining himself up with my entrance.
His eyes come to mine before he slowly pushes himself inside.
A breath escapes me as the feeling overwhelms me. He seats himself fully inside me and I’m filled to the brim. I’ve never felt anything like it.
And then he starts to move, like really move. Slow at first until I can’t even remember my name. His pace quickens and I fist my fingers into the sheets on either side of me.
“Fuck, babe,” he groans.
I want to focus on how damn good it feels to hear him call me that, but I don’t have the mental capacity right now. All I can think about is the way he slides in and out. In. out.
His hands continue exploring and leaving a burning trail behind.
My body is on fire. I never knew it could be this good.
His fingers slip in between my folds once again and circle my clit. Add that to the way his lips devour the sensitive skin of my neck, and it’s just what I need.
I explode.
My thighs clench around him.
My eyes squeeze in overwhelming bliss.
My nails dig into his strong back.
I scream out.
Luke’s eyes sparkle with lust as he watches my orgasm rock through my body. But he doesn’t dare stop. He allows me to ride out my orgasm and after one more thrust, he groans as he reaches his climax.
I feel him empty himself into me and I’ve never felt anything quite so intense and arousing before. I mean, Jeremy used to do it all the time and it only ever felt gross, but this is different on so many levels. I like it. It makes me feel nothing short of a woman.
The way he touches and looks at me makes me feel admired, rather than a piece of meat or a notch to add to his belt. It’s sensual and I love it.
Luke stills above me and runs his fingertip down the side of my face, pushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear. It’s as though he cherishes me, but that couldn’t be right.
I don’t know what’s happening here, but then, maybe I don’t want to.
He brings his face down to me and presses his lips to mine once again. I feel his smile against my lips and I push for more.
He rolls us and I sit up on his waist, completely showing myself to him. His hands come to my waist and he rubs his thumbs back and forth over my skin. I can’t help but smile down at him. “Well, that was… unexpected.”
“Incredible is what it was,” he says with a boyish smirk that has my insides clenching.
Being on top of him like this, I can’t help but look down at his torso and take in all the scars. The high I was on instantly vanishes as I’m reminded of the story he had told not an hour ago.
“What is it?” he questions.
I look up with my heart on my sleeve. “I’m sorry about before. I didn’t mean to force you to tell me about Iraq.”
“You didn’t,” he tells me. “You were curious. So is everybody. But, if I didn’t want you to know, I wouldn’t have told you.”
It’s as simple as that. I press my lips together and nod. I’m silent for a moment, but what we just did is still at the forefront of my mind. I indicate between us as he watches me. “What does this mean?” I question.
He shakes his head as if to say he has no idea. “All I know,” he tells me, “is that we’ll be doing it again. And again. And again.”
“You know,” I tell him. “I’m not the kind of girl who just sleeps with random men.”
His smirk returns as his fingers tighten on my skin. “I never thought you were.”
Chapter 14
Luke
As I step out of my home on Monday morning, I can’t help but look across to Lexi’s place. The images of her naked body moving beneath me is all I’ve been able to think about for the past twenty-four hours. Over and over again, I envision her digging her nails into my back, the way her body would react to my touch, and how she would moan when I pushed up into her. It was fucking heavenly. The sound of her moans was like music to my ears.
Afterward, she had asked me what it all meant, but I couldn’t give her an answer. Even now, a day later, I still couldn’t. Because honestly, I have no fucking clue. Yes, it was incredible. Yes, having her come alive beneath me is something I plan to do over and over again. But, I’m not a girlfriend kind of guy.
Especially after everything that went down in Iraq. I couldn’t burden a woman with me, especially not her. She deserves a man who has his life together. Someone who isn’t going to scare the shit out of her in the middle of the night when I start having those dreams.
No, she’s definitely better off without me.
All I know is that until she finds that guy, I’ll be the man entering her bed. Over and over again until she tells me to stop. At the risk of sounding like a pussy, being with her was magical. I’ve never felt something like that
before and I have no idea what it was.
It was like we had this connection where we simply couldn’t get enough of each other. I needed to be close with her. After telling her about Iraq, I felt exposed. I was terrified she’d look at me as less of a man. But instead, she called me a hero. She’s pulled at something within me and I think in that moment, she healed a part of my soul that had been screaming for help.
When I opened up to her, she saw the real me. I’ve never let a woman in like that. In the past, it’s always been physical. It’s about showing a woman a good time and getting the fuck out of there. However, with Lexi it was raw and passionate.
And honestly, it was fucking terrifying. I was vulnerable and as a basic rule, I never allow myself to be that way. But for some reason, with her, she keeps pulling me out of my comfort zone. Shit, she’s been making me feel things I didn’t even realize I was capable of. I mean, the second I touched her skin, I couldn’t stop. It was like she was made out of the purest Egyptian silk. It was intoxicating.
Hell, I think I’m even starting to understand why the guys drool over those women of theirs. If this is the beginnings of a relationship, then I’m fucked. I can’t be getting feelings for her. Luke Hayes doesn’t fall in love.
Fuck. What the hell is happening to me?
All I know is that as I’m standing here in front of my house, desperate to get a look at her through the window, that I need to have her again. I need to hear that smart mouth of hers, and I need to have her eyes on me. Always.
I don’t know what possesses me to do it, but I find myself turning on my heel and heading back inside my house. I grab her stupid speaker off my kitchen counter, head back outside, and walk across to her place. I place it down on her doorstep, knock on the door and cross back over to my drive.
I keep my eyes on her door as I get in my truck and start it up. I reverse out of the drive and just as I’m getting onto the road, her door opens. I practically creep along the road as I watch her look left and right before looking down. As she takes in the speaker, a breath-taking smile takes over her face and she looks right up at me.
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