Deana snorted. “Still, surely there’s something else you can do. Why don’t you tell Shane all this and…?”
“Do you think I want to stop seeing him, Deana?” Yolanda turned to her angrily, tears streaking down her cheeks. “Do you think if there was something else I could do, if there was another option, I wouldn’t do it?” She ran her fingers through her hair. “I’ve finally moved on. I’ve finally opened my heart to love again. Don’t you think I’d want to be happy?”
Deana placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “If you love him, you can tell Shane all this.”
“If I do, he’ll just get more involved and I can’t have that. I have to get away from him as soon as possible.”
“So you’re going to just tell him you’re not going to be seeing him anymore?”
“It’s what’s best for us both, at least for now. I know he might end up hating me, but that’s okay. At least, he’ll be out of Roy’s firing range.”
“You can’t even be sure of that. For all you know, Roy could still target him, knowing you care about him.”
“Then I’ll have to make Roy think I don’t care about Shane. I have to. And yes, even with that, there’s a chance he’ll still go after Shane, but I still have to try and dissuade him. I still have to try.”
Deana sighed, then nodded slowly. “Alright. When will you tell him?”
“Tomorrow,” Yolanda answered grimly. “He’s taking me to a friend’s ranch in Vermont tomorrow. I’ll tell him then.”
~ ~ ~
Telling Shane she no longer wanted to be with him, however, was easier said than done. Yolanda had thought that being dumped by someone was the worst, but walking away from someone she loved felt ten times worse, pain seizing her chest each time she looked at Shane. She knew she had to do it, though. She knew she had to keep Shane safe, and so she had to say goodbye.
Now, if only she could find an opportunity.
While there were plenty of opportunities in the car, she decided not to tell him there, afraid that they might stop in the middle of nowhere or worse, that they might get into a fight there and end up in an accident. Instead, she waited until they reached the ranch.
As soon as they arrived, however, she became too captivated by the beauty of the place that she wanted to see more of it, and so she postponed her bad news. As Shane showed her around the ranch, the more she became entranced by it, and she started to wonder if perhaps she should wait until they got back to New York before she told Shane what she intended to, not wanting to spoil the beautiful place with something so sad.
After an hour of horseback riding, though, she decided not to delay any longer. She had to do it now, before all her resolve dwindled, before she gave in to the voice of her heart rather than follow the plan she had in mind.
She could not wait a second more.
“I have something to tell you, Shane,” she said as they led the horses down a tree-lined path, trying to keep her voice from trembling.
“What is it?”
“I…” She felt a lump suddenly form in her throat.
“Is everything okay?” He reached for her hand.
She forced herself to nod, swallowing. Then, she turned her head to look at him as she squeezed his hand. “You know what? You’re the most amazing guy I’ve ever met.”
He smiled, blushing.
“And not just because you’re very good looking, but because you’re a sincere person. When you do something, you put your heart into it and when you say something, you mean it. People like that are rare these days.”
“Gee, I don’t know what to say.”
“I want you to stay that way,” she went on. “And I want you to be happy and to become even more successful because I really think your songs can touch a lot of hearts. I want you to make even more of a difference in the world.” She paused. “And so I have to tell you this.”
He stopped walking, looking at her and listening to her intently.
“I…”
She stopped talking as she felt a drop of water on her cheek. Knowing she hadn’t started to cry yet, she looked up to see other drops falling.
It was raining.
“Let’s hurry to the barn,” Shane said, getting on his horse.
Yolanda, too, climbed hers and they dashed to the nearest barn, an old one which seemed like it hadn’t been used for years, but luckily was still intact apart from a few holes in the roof where the raindrops seeped through, even having dried hay spread on the floor. They tied the horses inside and went in, sitting on the hay as they tried to catch their breaths and dry themselves.
“Here.” Shane handed Yolanda his denim jacket. “Wear this so you won’t get cold.”
Yolanda nodded, accepting the jacket which she wrapped around her shoulders.
“The rain should let up in a bit,” he said, looking out the window before closing it. “It never rains long here at this time of year.”
“You sound like you’ve been here a lot.”
“I have,” he admitted. “Roland’s Dad and mine were friends for a long time.”
“I see.”
“By the way, what was that you were trying to say? It seemed like you were about to say something really serious back there.”
Yolanda stiffened. Right, she still hadn’t said what she came to say.
“Well?” He sat beside her on the hay.
“I…” She stopped, struggling to find the words to say. Should she repeat the prelude she had said earlier or should she just go straight to the point?
“Yes?” he encouraged her.
“I’ve been thinking and I think it’s better for us to stop seeing each other.”
He said nothing, though his expression showed his shock.
“I mean… just for now. It doesn’t have to be permanent unless you want it to be. I just need to sort some stuff out. Besides, I think now is not the right time for you to be in a relationship since your career…”
“So you don’t want to be with me?” he asked, interrupting her.
“It’s not like I don’t want to be with you,” she said, then regretted the words as soon as she had said them, realizing she had just made things more difficult. “I just need to stay away from you for a while.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”
“Like I said, you…”
“I’m not buying those reasons. They’re not reasons, just excuses.” He moved closer to her and held her chin gently in his hand. “Tell me the truth, Yolanda. If you don’t like me, tell me.”
Yolanda turned away. “You and I are not right for each other,” she forced herself to say, each word seemingly a thorn in her throat.
“Of course we are. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.”
Yolanda felt a tear roll down her cheek. “It was good, but it’s over now. It will never…”
She was unable to continue speaking because he gripped her chin a second time, this time more firmly, and kissed her.
For a moment, she could not respond, her eyes wide in shock at what he was doing, but as his lips caressed hers over and over, she closed her eyes, unable to resist the warmth of his kiss or thwart the warmth building in her own body, the flames being kindled by the voice that had been telling her she loved him over and over, now much louder than before.
She loved him.
And he loved her. The tenderness of his lips against hers told her as much.
Suddenly, nothing else mattered, not the rain pouring outside the old barn, Roy Carmichael or the fact that they were in a place where anyone could walk in at any time. She clung to him, seemingly clinging for dear life, and kissed him back with all the passion raging inside her, parting her lips so that their tongues could collide and mingle.
Over and over their lips and tongues met, and she was so caught up in it that she didn’t notice him slipping his jacket off her shoulders, only noticing when she felt his hand pressed against the small of her back, rubbing it before moving his fingers up the
curve of her spine, making her skin tingle through the soaked fabric of her blouse.
She, too, moved her hands, letting go of the fistfuls of his shirt that she had clutched to splay her palms against his smooth chest.
He moved his hand up to her nape, massaging it before running his fingers through her hair. Then, he lowered her down gently on the hay, never breaking the kiss, while she wrapped her arms around his back.
When the kiss broke, she was out of breath and so was he, though it hardly mattered. He looked down at her, his eyes gleaming with a hint of sadness, of love, and of desire. She, too, felt her own desire stirring, the warmth in her body turning into heat in spite of the cold air drifting into the barn, and knowing he was asking for her permission even without speaking, she gave it, wanting him as much as he wanted her. She reached for his hand and kissed his palm before pressing it against her cheek. Then, she placed it on her chest, right above her pounding heart before shifting it lower to rest on her left breast, her eyes never leaving his.
He looked down at his hand and slowly squeezed her breast through the layers of damp clothing. Then, he bent down to kiss her neck as he used his other hand to enclose her other breast, kneading them both gently.
He kissed the hollow of her throat while his fingers worked on the buttons of her blouse, undoing them before releasing the clasp of her bra, laying her bare to him. Pushing her blouse and her bra to the sides, he kissed one breast reverently and then another. Then, he took one of her breasts in his mouth, sucking on it while he fondled the other, taking the nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
She gasped, feeling her breasts swell under his ministrations, her nipples becoming hard as pebbles under the onslaught of pleasure his tongue and fingers skillfully delivered, and when he used his tongue to flick against her nipple repeatedly, she writhed, the sensation making her whole body feel on fire.
He moved his mouth to her other breast as he used his other hand to travel lower, skirting the soft swell of her abdomen before making its way between her legs, caressing the core of her through her pants.
At first, she felt the faintest feeling of self-consciousness as her body was mostly exposed to him. She felt confident in her curves, and even spent an episode of her show dedicated to women’s body image. But Shane was such a beautiful man, and she knew he had to have had his share of—conventionally—beautiful women, too, and the thought she might possibly be compared to any of these hypothetical women opened up a window of insecurity for her…
...A feeling utterly obliterated by the way Shane was caressing her. Clearly he liked what he saw. He loved it. Again, Yolanda squirmed and gasped, feeling herself slipping away, though she did nothing to stop him, allowing him to undo her pants and slip his hand beneath her underwear, searching between the moist folds of skin to find the nub hidden there, at once coaxing it into full bloom, before abandoning it to slip a finger inside her.
“Oh my God…” she let out. It was all breath, no voice, but it was still loud enough to be clearly audible over the rain.
She placed her hands on his shoulders, digging her nails into his skin and biting her lips to suppress her cries as she felt the pleasure build, gathering into a storm. She could not suppress them for long, though and she felt them spilling out, drowning out the sound of the rain, as he brought her closer and closer to the heights of pleasure, his finger moving faster in and out of her.
He was looking down at her, watching her intently, seemingly waiting for her to lose control, and she blushed. She wanted to tell him to stop watching her but before she could say a word, she felt the storm breaking inside of her and she simply closed her eyes as she allowed herself to be swept away, her whole body shaking from the force of her orgasm.
She couldn’t tell how long she was drifting on that tide of exquisite ecstasy but when she opened her eyes, she found him still looking at her, this time smiling.
She, too, felt the corners of her mouth curve up into a smile, which was the only thing she felt she could do. Then, when she had recovered some of her strength and caught her breath, she sat up, pushing him down on the hay.
It was her turn now.
As if he knew it, he simply lay still, allowing her to run her hands across his bare chest, grazing his nipples, and to trace the muscles of his taut abdomen before stopping at the waistband of his jeans. She glanced up at him before undoing the lone button there and then pulling the zipper down, revealing the grey boxers underneath.
She reached inside, feeling her breath catch when her fingers came in contact with his bare skin. He, too, gasped, and then grunted as she wrapped her fingers around his cock and brought it out of his boxers.
It was not yet completely erect and yet, she found herself impressed by it that she could not help but stare at it for a moment, this peach-colored piece of man, before kissing the tip reverently as she moved her fingers up and down. Then, she dipped the tip of her tongue onto the slit before licking under the crown and then all along the length of him down to the base, tracing every vein and making him fully hard.
He wasn’t too large, she thought, closer to average perhaps, but she did not mind, wrapping her lips around the tip as she began to take him slowly inside her mouth. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. This man had opened himself up to her, completely secure with himself and his decision to be with her, gave her full access to the most private, most sensitive part of him, and entrusted her to handle it.
When she had managed to fit every inch, she swallowed around him, making him give another grunt. Then, she started moving her mouth up and down as she used her hand to cup his balls gently.
After a while, he tugged on her arm and at first, and she thought he was asking her to stop, which she wasn’t ready to just yet. Then she realized he was asking her to switch positions so that she was straddling him, and so she did.
She continued to suck him as he removed her pants, which took a bit of effort. Then, her underwear came off next and before she knew it, she felt his breath on the most delicate part of her, still sensitive from having just orgasmed minutes ago.
As if he knew it, he stroked her slowly, carefully, touching her with moistened fingers. Then, something else touched her – something more moist and warm and slippery.
His tongue.
As he licked her, she felt a shiver and she stopped sucking him, losing to the pleasure that was spreading through her own body. After a while, though, she regained her senses and determined not to lose – she hated losing, after all – she sucked him more vigorously, moving her head up and down faster.
By the way his pace had staggered, she could tell she was succeeding, though when his tongue entered her, she lost it again, her mind seemingly being wrapped in a haze of pleasure that was making her dizzy. Still, she continued, alternating between thorough licks and hard sucks, paying special attention to the tip every now and then.
In spite of her efforts, he didn’t let up and she was starting to think she was going to come twice before he came even once, when he finally stopped, gently pulling her away and pushing her down on the hay-covered ground.
He took off his pants and his boxers and knelt between her legs, then bent down to capture her lips in a tender kiss, shorter and not as fierce as the last but one that made her heart race just the same. When the kiss broke, he pressed his cheek against hers.
Then, he whispered in her ear, “I love you, Yolanda.”
Before the words could even register completely in her haze-filled mind, before she could think of an answer, he pushed his hips forward, entering her.
She squeezed her eyes shut even as her lips parted to let out a silent scream. Then, she clung to him as she waited for the discomfort to pass, so that she could be left only with the feeling of him inside her, of their bodies connected in the most intimate of ways.
When it did, she opened her eyes, the love she felt from his gaze stealing what was left of her breath. As he moved in and out of her, she clung to him even tighter, a part
of her never wanting to let go.
I love you too, Shane.
She wanted to tell him the words, to shout them, but all that came out of her mouth were whimpers and moans as he picked up his pace, reaching into the very depths of her and rubbing her in all the right spots, the friction making her feel as if they would both burn.
She moved her hands to the curve of his buttocks, urging him forward, deeper, harder, faster, until finally, she felt the storm sweeping her away a second time, this time so strong that she could not help but cry out his name, screaming it as she closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift off to the distant shores of ecstasy.
“Shane!”
Again, she could not tell how long she drifted about, feeling as if she had passed out, but when she lifted her heavy eyelids, he was still above her and vaguely, she felt him move in and out of her, managing a few more thrusts before he let out a loud groan as he filled her, burying himself deep inside her before collapsing on top of her.
She stroked his hair in the silence that ensued, punctuated only by their harsh breathing now that the rain had stopped. Then, he lifted himself to pull out of her and lay beside her, turning his head towards her as he reached for her hand.
“Do you still think we’re not right for each other?”
She didn’t answer immediately, wondering what was the right thing to say, to do. Should she still try to stay away from him even after discovering how much she loved him, how much they loved each other?
“No,” she answered, following the voice in her heart. “I’m sorry I said that. I guess I’m just scared.”
“Are you still scared?” he asked.
She shook her head. Strangely, all her fear had vanished and as they did, it was as if her mind had cleared, as if she could think straight for the first time, and she realized how wrong she had been to try to stay away from him. She had wanted to keep from getting hurt and yet she had been about to hurt him herself, perhaps more painfully than Roy could ever do.
She pressed his hand to her cheek. “I’m not scared anymore.”
“Good,” he said. “Because there’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m here. As long as we’re together, everything will be alright.”
Twists and Curves - A Sexy BWWM Interracial BBW Romance Novella from Steam Books (Romantica) Page 6
