by Liz Isaacson
How she could tell he’d just opened his mouth to offer, he didn’t know. But he snapped his lips together and then pressed them together as he fumed. She’d never let him pay for more than their negotiated rate. Never took more time off than her two days a week. Never deviated from the schedule.
This must all be very upsetting to her, he thought, sympathy making his heart soft.
“I’ll go with you,” he offered, unsure of where the words had come from. “It’s a long drive to make by yourself. Company will make it easier.” He forced himself to stop babbling.
She turned back toward him, disbelief on her face. “You want to drive eight hours to Boulder, Colorado to pick up my surly, ungrateful mom, and then drive eight hours back?”
It actually sounded like a nightmare, but Eli nodded. “Sure, why not?”
Meg looked like she could think of a dozen reasons why not, and honestly most of them were probably on Eli’s list too.
“I won’t be good company.”
“Remember when I didn’t get that bid for the wave rider?” He cocked his head at her when finally, finally a small smile touched that mouth he’d been dreaming of. “I wasn’t good company then, and who wouldn’t leave my side?”
“That’s because Stockton doesn’t deserve to be an orphan,” she said without missing a beat. But they were bantering—finally. The playful edge in her eye had returned, and Eli felt more like himself than he had in a month.
“You shouldn’t be alone right now either,” he said.
“I’ll be fine.”
He hated that word, and hated it even more when Meg said it. It had taken Eli a year to figure out that when Meg said she was fine, she really wasn’t.
“What time are you leaving?”
Meg took a step toward him, abandoning her laundry on the bed. “You’re not coming.”
“What are you going to drive? My truck?”
She paused, her dark eyes practically shooting lasers at him. “May I please borrow your truck?”
“Sure.” He grinned. “I’ll give you the keys in the morning. What time are you leaving?” Eli knew how to play games and win, and though this thing with Meg was anything but a game, he really wanted to win. He didn’t want her driving eight hours across two states in the dead of winter by herself. It was a safety issue.
“Early,” she said, driving a knife into his heart.
He groaned as if she’d physically done it. “You know I hate getting up early.”
“Then just leave the keys with me now.” She held out her hand, palm up, an expectant look on her face. “You cant leave your horses anyway. And what about Stockton?”
Eli’s mind started to race. He could take Stockton down to Graham’s. He knew he and Laney weren’t doing anything but maybe coming up here to hang out. And while Laney was pregnant and technically on bed rest, he could get the name of her hired help and get the man to come take care of the horses for two days. Heck, Eli could afford to pay the man whatever he asked.
“I’ll work it out,” he said.
“Eli.” She deflated, and Eli liked the sound of his name in her voice, but not the frustration that came with it.
“I’m worried about you,” he said, finally letting some of his defenses slip too.
“You don’t get to worry about me.” But the way she looked at him, all hope and need, he thought she could really use someone to care about her.
“I care about you,” he said carefully. “What if the weather’s bad? What if you get a flat tire?”
“I have a cell phone.”
“Meg.” He took the few steps to her, closing the distance between them, at least physically. “It’ll be fun, like that first road trip we took when I was still trying to decide if I should hire you or not.” He gazed down at her, thinking it would be natural to take her into his arms, comfort her, whisper assurances that the holidays wouldn’t be ruined with her mother at the lodge, and then kiss her.
His heart roared and raced at the very idea, and the moment between them electrified as it lengthened.
“What made you decide to hire me on that trip?”
“Haven’t I ever told you?”
She shook her head, her longer hair brushing her shoulders now. He pushed it back and let his hand trail down her arm again. Why that felt like the most intimate gesture in the world, he wasn’t sure.
“You knew where the diapers were in the supermarket,” he said. “And I had no idea. I knew then I’d never survive without you.”
She smiled, the slow, genuine kind he’d seen before. “So I guess now’s not a great time to put in my two weeks notice.”
Eli felt like he’d been punched in the gut with a fiery fist. “What?”
Meg backed up, and Eli watched the indecision rage across her fair features. “I’m quitting, Eli. I can’t keep doing this.”
Eli couldn’t get his brain to work. Doing what? rang through his ears, but he couldn’t get it to come out of his mouth. Meg was irreplaceable, that much he knew. Stockton would be devastated.
Heck, Eli was feeling that devastation right now, rolling through him, over him, around him like a tidal wave had pulled him out into a strong riptide.
“That’s your final decision?” he asked.
“I just said it, didn’t I?” She kept her back to him as she continued to fold laundry, placing some of it in the suitcase and some in piles on the bed.
“Doesn’t sound final.”
“I’m leaving at six o’clock in the morning.” It sounded like a concluding note to the conversation, almost like she was saying Goodbye, Eli.
He turned and headed for the door, his own bag to pack. “See you in the morning.” He left, only a few hours to make arrangements for his son and his horses, get his own laundry done, a bag packed, and his thoughts to line up so he could figure out how to talk Meg out of leaving him.
No. He shook his head as he entered his bedroom. Not him. Stockton. He didn’t want Meg to abandon Stockton.
Chapter Four
Meg barely slept, but she couldn’t just leave when she wanted. Eli still had the keys, and if she knew him at all—and she did—he’d be late for their six o’clock departure. He really wasn’t a morning person.
So when she crept down the hall and into the foyer, finding Eli on the couch there, his face illuminated by the blue light of his phone, was a bit startling. “You’re up?” she asked, thinking maybe she didn’t know Eli Whittaker as well as she thought she did.
He jumped to his feet, lowering his phone but only taking a single step before pausing. “I can’t see.”
A giggle slipped from her lips before Meg could call it back or silence it.
“Ah, my eyes are adjusting. You look great. Can hardly see your black eye at all.”
“Very funny.” She navigated to the wall where the fireplace was and slid her fingers along the surface until she found the light switch. The foyer flooded with light, which caused Eli to groan and shield his eyes.
“It’s way too early for that much light.”
“You’re welcome to go on back to bed.” Meg had wrestled with herself for much of the night. Yes, she wanted him to come. He’d be a great buffer between her and her mother, provide company on the long drive down to Boulder, and maybe she’d get to talk to him about something real as an added bonus.
But at the same time, she absolutely did not want to expose him to her mother for any longer than necessary, and the thought of talking to him sent a truckload of fear right through her. Hadn’t she said enough already?
The constant tug of war within her own mind was utterly exhausting.
“Nice try,” he said. “I’ve arranged everything with Stockton and the horses, and I’m all yours for the next two days.”
Her eyebrows shot up, and his cheeks turned pink within a single heartbeat. “I mean—”
“I know what you mean,” she said, holding out her hand. “Keys, please.” Honestly, she’d take Eli for two days if that was all sh
e could get. It was better than nothing. The very fact that she thought so angered her, and she waggled her fingers impatiently.
“I’ll drive if you want.” He wore those jeans that made her want to look twice, a solid blue button-down shirt with a black leather jacket over that, and his cowboy hat. Oh, and the hint of danger in his eyes, along with a little smirk that said he knew exactly what he was doing.
“Fine. You drive. I don’t care.” Meg had never spoken to her boss the way she was with Eli. Anyone, actually. She was usually agreeable, fun to be around, and easy-going. But something about Eli just set her every nerve on fire.
She reached for her bag at the same time he lunged for it. “I’ve got it.” His hand brushed hers, and she yanked hers back almost like he’d stung her.
“Sorry,” she murmured, though she wasn’t sure why she felt the need to apologize.
He kept his eyes fixed on hers and released her bag, straightening inch by inch. His hand touched hers again, and she blinked, her heartbeat fluttering like hummingbird’s wings.
“Meg,” he whispered. “I’ve been a complete idiot, and I’m….” His voice trailed into nothing, and his fingers laced through hers. Holding his hand felt like nothing Meg had ever experienced before, and she never wanted to let go.
His skin was warm, rough along the edges of his fingers where he worked with ropes and saddles and horseshoes. The world swayed, the scent of Eli’s cologne so intoxicating, and the heat in the lodge entirely too warm.
She hadn’t realized she’d let her eyes drift closed until Eli tugged her closer, right into his arms. Her eyes popped open as she realized where she stood, then settled closed again as she listened to the thrumming of his heart beneath his shirt.
She had so much to say, and nothing at the same time. Eli hadn’t finished his sentence and didn’t seem to be in any hurry to do so. Humming sounded from somewhere, and then footsteps followed, and Eli jumped back from Meg as Andrew reached the top of the stairs and turned on the light in the hall.
Meg hadn’t had time to even process what had just happened, let alone tell her muscles to back up.
“Oh, hey you two.” Andrew sized them up, keen interest in his expression. “Headed to Colorado?”
“Yeah.” Eli flashed an easy smile. Everything with him always came so easily, and Meg had always marveled at it. Now, it simply annoyed her.
“If he’ll ever give up the keys,” Meg said.
Eli laughed and picked up their bags. “I’m driving. So let’s go already. I can’t believe we haven’t left yet.” He gave her that trademark smirk and stepped toward the front door. Meg rolled her eyes but made to follow Eli.
As she stepped out into the cold, she wondered what in the world she was doing. Eight hours trapped in a car with Eli? She already felt slightly insane from whatever had just happened in the foyer.
“Seriously,” she muttered under her breath, a great white cloud puffing out before her as the motion lights kicked on. “What is happening?”
Eli set the bags down behind his four-door truck and dug in his pocket for the keys. “We’re going on a road trip.” He beamed back at her as if she’d asked him a serious question.
She watched and waited while he loaded their luggage. Then Meg cocked her hip and folded her arms. “Eli, I think this is a mistake.”
“Why?”
Meg threw her hands up in frustration. “Because….” She glared at him, her emotions rioting just beneath the surface of her skin, just behind her tongue. “Because I like you so much, and you used your wife as the reason we couldn’t be together, or even try to be together.”
Her chest felt so tight, so tight. She shook her head, her thoughts colliding with one another. “And I may not have gone to college, but I can see you like me too. I’m not stupid.”
Eli stood there, glorious and beautiful in the winter atmosphere, his broad shoulders and tall stature almost imposing.
“So I think I should just go alone.” Meg swiped angrily at her eyes. Would she never stop crying?
“I don’t think you’re stupid,” Eli said, his voice this freaky calm tone that only made Meg angrier.
She scoffed and glared at him. “Okay.” She’d taken two steps to round the truck and get in when he added, “I do like you.”
Her feet froze as if someone had poured water on them, and in these December temperatures, it had solidified upon contact. “Let’s just go.” She could see he wasn’t going to give her the keys and go back to bed. She went around the truck and got in the passenger side.
Eli climbed behind the wheel. “I made a mistake,” he said. “Do you think you could give me another chance?”
She’d give him a hundred chances, but she kept her arms folded across her chest and her gaze out her window, afraid to hope. Afraid to get her heart stomped on again by this man. Afraid to spend the next eight hours with him, no matter what beautiful things he said.
“I’m sorry,” he said next, and Meg’s anger softened with those two simple words. He put the truck in gear and backed up before getting them on the road. “I made a mistake at Thanksgiving. I know that. I just don’t know how to fix it.”
Meg didn’t know either. But they had eight hours to figure it out, and she prayed God would help her know when to listen, what to say, and how to feel.
Neither of them said much in the first hour. But once they hit Jackson Hole, Eli asked if she wanted breakfast, and they stopped at a busy diner. It was loud and vibrant, and some of the tension leaked from Meg as she ate pancakes, bacon, and fried potatoes. She drank entirely too much coffee, and she told Eli they’d have to stop so she could go to the bathroom often.
“Anytime,” he said as they loaded up again.
“Have you always been this agreeable?”
“I’m sure my wife wouldn’t say so,” he said. “Or my brothers.”
Meg watched him while he buckled his seatbelt and put the truck in gear as if he hadn’t just opened the floodgate by mentioning his wife. “Tell me about her,” she said. For all she knew about Eli, she didn’t know much about Caroline.
“Who? Caroline?”
“Yes, Caroline. I know you named a horse after her.”
“Yes, I did.” His knuckles flexed on the steering wheel and he swallowed. “She was a health nut,” he said. “Always making whole wheat tortillas from scratch and putting bean sprouts on everything. Even peanut butter sandwiches.” He chuckled, his low voice hearty and throaty at the same time.
Meg relaxed in the seat, this kind of conversation meaningful and somewhat enjoyable. “You don’t even like peanut butter.”
“But Caroline did.” Eli shrugged one shoulder and merged onto the highway leading south.
“So you just pretended?”
“No, of course not. When she made peanut butter sandwiches, I ate something else.”
“She was…serious about some things, and laid back about others. She loved the ocean.” Eli’s voice took on a faraway quality as he continued. “She was the reason I took the job in Bora Bora. I thought she would’ve loved it there.”
“I’m sure she would’ve,” Meg said, her voice full of kindness. Listening to him talk about Caroline with such reverence made Meg realize how much he’d loved his wife. To think she had any chance with him at all was ludicrous.
Thankfully, he fell silent, obviously lost in his warm, wonderful memories of his wife. Misery filled Meg, and she thought she should’ve just let Eli pay for the airplane tickets she needed.
Help me, she thought, the only prayer she could string together.
“Okay, your turn,” he said.
“My turn for what?”
“Tell me something about you I don’t know.”
A couple of things sprang into her mind, but she bit them back. “You know everything about me.”
“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true.” He glanced at her and then put his focus back on the road.
Meg couldn’t vocalize how unwanted she felt. Couldn’t
tell him about her teenage health issues, or how she’d once sworn she’d never get married. Of course, if she wanted a real relationship with him, she’d have to tell him at some point, but not on this trip. Not so soon.
“It is,” she said instead of telling him anything personal. “Okay, maybe you don’t know that I strongly dislike cottage cheese.”
He chuckled again. “See? I didn’t know that.” He smiled at her and reached out his hand as if he’d hold hers.
She stared at it, then lifted her eyes to Eli’s handsome face. That strong, bearded jaw, those full lips, the long, straight nose that made his face full of perfect lines and angles. His light brown hair curled out from under his cowboy hat, and she wanted to twirl the locks around her fingers just before she kissed him.
He let his hand drop to his lap in the same moment Meg decided to unbuckle her seat belt and slide across the seat to sit right next to him. She tucked her arm under his and he curled his fingers around hers as she leaned into him.
“This is crazy, right?” she whispered, the sound of her voice barely louder than the radio.
“Probably,” he said in the same hushed tone. “But it feels…good.”
Meg smiled to herself, Eli’s eye catching hers in the rear-view mirror. He started laughing, and Meg couldn’t help herself as she joined in. Thirty minutes later, two hours into their trip, she was just starting to doze off when he said, “We should’ve flown.”
“Oh, you’re not enjoying yourself?”
“I am.” He squeezed her hand. “It’s just—six more hours.” He exhaled, and Meg closed her eyes again.
“Tell me some of those stories you tell Stockton,” she said. “They’ll pass the time, and we’ll be in Boulder before you know it.”
“What stories do I tell Stockton?”
“About what you and your brothers used to do growing up. Skiing. Stealing peas from the Cullets. That kind of stuff.”
“Oh, you want childhood memories.”
“Mm.”
“If I share, you’ll have to.”
