“Slow down, buddy; you won’t ever have to starve again.” Making him that promise felt important because Jasmine believed that he was only this ravenous when it came to food because there had been a time when he hadn’t had enough…or any at all. Sad at the memory of how she’d found him, but happy at the sight of a now very healthy, very happy Chester, Jasmine left him eating in peace.
Making her way back up to the second floor, she planned to make breakfast later, while he was in the bathroom. Yesterday evening he’d been the one to cook; it was only fair if Jasmine returned the favor this morning. Although she did find a woman’s shampoo in Cole’s shower stall, Jasmine wasn’t going to use it. It didn’t feel right to smell like his ex. She had too much self-respect to become anyone’s replacement.
She opened Cole’s shampoo bottle. The odor was delicious, all man…just like him. Soon she was surrounded by hot steam and his scent. Smelling like Cole wasn’t too bad—in fact, it reminded her of their time together. Definitely good, hot thoughts. Ha! Grinning like a fool, she finished her shower, stepped out of the stall, and donned the bathrobe again. When she turned around, she found herself face-to-chest with Cole. Taking in a sharp breath, she stopped dead in her tracks, only inches from him.
“You’re awake!” Stating the obvious here, Jasmine, really. In her mind, she rolled her eyes at herself. Blinking, she looked up at his face. His hair was a mess from sleep, his eyelids still heavy. Damn, he was sexy only half-awake. Warning sign would have been appropriate, she thought yet again.
“I didn’t want to wake you, so I showered here. I hope that’s okay?” Because he didn’t say anything, just stared at her as usual, Jasmine’s nerves got the best of her. Was she rambling? Oh yes, she definitely was. Shut up, Jasmine!
Feeling his gaze on her body, she followed it. The robe! Damn it, she should have just taken Cole’s, not his ex’s! Wanting to flee the situation, Jasmine quickly said, “You shower, I make breakfast!” Already pushing past him, she tried to rush away. A firm grip on her left wrist halted her. With questioning eyes, she looked down at his fingers wrapped around her arm, then up to his stern face. The scowl was back in place. If he asked her to put the robe back where she’d found it, she would rip his head off!
For a moment, they stared at each other. Beneath his dark, penetrating gaze she stopped breathing, her poor heart racing within her chest. His free hand touched her opened lips, trailing down her jaw and throat, only to stay put on her shoulder—on the bathrobe. Over and over again, Jasmine cursed herself for wearing another woman’s clothes. She should have known better and listened to her earlier reservations. Stupid. Slowly bending his head, Cole’s eyes left hers. Soft like a feather, his lips kissed her collarbone.
“Good morning.” His voice was gruff, probably from sleep. With that, he let go of her and walked past her to enter the shower himself. Immediately Jasmine gulped in air. Almost running out of there, she quickly made her way back to the guest room. Putting on some of her new working clothes, she tried to ignore her nervousness. Nevertheless, she still felt it when preparing breakfast. It was just that she couldn’t read him. Had she upset him? Or was he only not a morning person? Who knew? With his everlasting scowl and all…
Yesterday evening it had been so much easier—he’d laughed, shown real emotions. Almost like he was an actual human being, not a strange, unfeeling version of it with a predatory focus and stone-cold businessman-superpowers. Almost.
Sighing, Jasmine shook her head. She wanted to figure him out very badly. It was one of her little quirks—needing to get to the bottom of things. Normally, she wouldn’t let something rest until she’d fully understood every single thing about it. With Cole she really should rein herself in, though. It wasn’t her right to pry into his past. Everybody had the right to some privacy. Also, they didn’t know each other very well. If he wanted to, he would tell her. If not, then not. Jasmine had to accept that.
Yeah, sure; she knew herself better than this. Don’t pry, don’t pry, she told herself silently like a mantra.
♥♥♥
WHEN HE’D SEEN her in that robe, for the blink of an eye, the past had become the present again. Only one woman had shared the bathroom of his mansion with him. Back then it hadn’t been his, but their mansion.
Jasmine Frost didn’t only bring color into his life, no, she also brought memories, which Cole had tried to bury deep down inside of his head. He shouldn’t have entered neither her room nor her bed, but he couldn’t help himself. For years, he hadn’t slept through one single night. Yesterday evening he’d known he needed to walk down that hall. Peace awaited him; the temptation had been too strong to be ignored.
Since the first day he’d laid eyes on Jasmine, he’d known there was something about her. Something that soothed his damaged soul, perhaps even something that could heal him. He didn’t dare hope; he’d been lost to darkness for so long. Last night, for the first time in years, he hadn’t seen their faces in his dreams. Instead, he’d felt Jasmine’s warm body pressed tightly against his, had heard her even breathing, and had smelled the sweet scent of her soft hair against his face.
A perfect way for a man to fall asleep. Apparently, it also was a perfect way to sleep soundly—without nightmares, without waking every few hours. Some people made tea out of jasmine flowers to fight their insomnia. Well, Cole didn’t need tea, only one beautiful, sassy architect named after the herb and his insomnia was gone.
In fact, he’d slept so deeply, he at first hadn’t understood what was going on when he saw her in the rose bathrobe. It had been like déjà vu, and he’d needed a moment to get his shit together. They didn’t even look similar; the situation and the robe had played a trick on him, and an old wound had been ripped wide open. Cole called these little things triggers—reminders that threw him right back into a time when something inside of him had died.
Until he’d seen Jasmine with David, he’d always thought his heart was the thing which had crumbled back then. For so long, he hadn’t really felt anything. But Jasmine, well, she could trigger more than a few memories. Cole still couldn’t believe he’d just taken her against the wall yesterday. Not that he was complaining; it had been fucking great! After so many years, sudden emotions re-emerging inside of his body must have overwhelmed him. Somehow, he was mesmerized by her. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t keep himself from her.
And he didn’t want to. Definitely not. No, by now his single aim was to make Jasmine Frost his. Because when everything was dark, even the tiniest drop of color was valuable. Let it be a whole clash of colors and you sure as hell needed to hold on tight in order to never get lost to the darkness ever again.
Cole was done. Jasmine was his new beginning.
Only she didn’t know it yet.
♥♥♥
Chapter 9
“ARE YOU GETTING lazy over there?” Obviously Cole was trying to vex her, so Jasmine didn’t bother giving him an answer. She raised her chin and gracefully stuck her tongue out. Seeing the tiniest of smiles on his face again was rewarding enough. She’d liked the version of him she’d gotten yesterday evening, so she was going to bring the joking-around side out of him once more. The man didn’t know what was in store for him!
With a feeling of triumph, she watched him for a second. They had gotten a whole lot of work done today. There was so much to clean out, it was still going to take them a week or so. It felt a little bit like moving houses—carrying furniture and personal items of a whole lifetime out of the house. How long had Cole lived here, before the mansion had been abandoned and vulnerable for vandalizing teens? Furthermore, the question was, with whom had he lived here? All the broken picture frames were empty—Cole must have saved the photos before they’d started cleaning up.
Why had he suddenly decided to come back here and renovate? Pick up a life that had been broken a long time ago? Lost in thought, she jumped when her cell phone rang. Quickly, she answered the call while watching Cole throw parts of a couch onto
the pickup truck. “Yes?” Jasmine asked into the phone, sounding a little irritated due to being ripped from concentration.
“Jasmine?”
“Oh, hi, David!” Sweetest voice ever, in place. Check.
“Everything okay?” He sounded very doubtful.
“Of course, it is!” God, her face hurt from smiling so brightly while speaking.
“How are things coming along?” In the background, she heard some shuffling as if he was leaning back in his expensive chair behind his desk.
“Well, as I said before—cleaning out the house will take a while. But I think in a week we should have it finished. Then I can take a look at the place and come up with the plans for the renovations.”
“How long do you think that will take?” While she did understand that David was her boss, Jasmine wasn’t used to her every move being controlled. In her former employment, she’d had much more freedom. Creativity needed space to unfold. David was crushing her.
“It depends on how quickly I can come up with ideas that Cole likes. I don’t know exactly, perhaps—” Before she could finish her sentence, David cut in.
“Cole?” he spit out. Whatever problem the two men had with each other, it wasn’t Jasmine’s fault. Nevertheless, she inwardly cursed herself for not watching what she said. Cole, not Mr. Ward.
“I see you two have become very close working together, huh?” Like a jealous boyfriend, David’s tone was sharp. In truth, he was jealous for a whole different reason, though. Rivalry.
“We call each other by our first names, yes. I wouldn’t call that close, though, David.” As she contradicted, her voice was stern—no way was she going to let the childish rivalry between the two men ruin her career. No matter if she and Cole really were close or not.
“Relationships with clients are highly inappropriate, Jasmine.”
“I know that, David,” she immediately agreed, though what she really wanted to ask was, Why wasn’t it inappropriate for him to flirt with her? Interoffice relationships weren’t inappropriate, too?
“We are just cleaning up the house; I’ll make the plans, oversee the renovations, and then I’m gone. In and out, on to the next project.”
“That’s my girl,” David breathed into the phone. His pleased tone almost made Jasmine gag. What a slimeball! Disgusting.
“I’m looking forward to seeing your ideas for the place. I gotta go now.” Apparently, he was finished with her.
“Talk to you soon,” Jasmine answered. As soon as she hung up, a curse left her lips. “Controlling bastard!”
“Everything okay?” Cole’s deep rumble took her off guard. Not paying attention to her surroundings, she hadn’t noticed him coming so close. There he was, standing only a few steps away from her. How much had he heard of her conversation with David?
To calm herself, she pressed a hand onto her chest—a racing heart beneath her fingertips. Swallowing hard, Jasmine managed to nod at Cole’s question. Eventually, she licked her lips before answering him. “Yes, everything’s okay. It was David; he wanted to know how things are coming along.”
“You sounded agitated.” One of his dark eyebrows rose, his face full of doubt.
“I smiled the whole time!” Jasmine denied it immediately but couldn’t fool Cole. His dark stare at her was unwavering.
“Okay!” Defeated, she threw her arms up into the air. “He calls me every freaking day to check in if I don’t call him first!” With her fingers, she mimed quotation marks. “What the hell is going on between the two of you? Why the rivalry? You stole his favorite toy or something?”
At her last words, Cole chuckled. “I always steal favorite toys. That’s my thing.”
Against her own will, despite her frustration with the whole David situation, laughter ripped out of her. It was freeing as hell. “Your thing, huh?” she teased while taking a step toward him.
Within a second Cole reacted; he crossed the distance between them until he stood right in front of her. When his large, rough hand laid itself against Jasmine’s cheek, his facial expression became serious. As if held captive by his gaze, she couldn’t take her eyes off his. “He’s a playboy, Jasmine. You should stay away from him.”
Was he serious? She had absolutely no interest in David—apart from him being her boss and a very talented architect. The fact that he was a playboy couldn’t be missed. Not her type, thank you very much. As a thought rose in her head, anger got a hold of Jasmine. Pushing Cole’s hand away, she stepped back.
“Just because I slept with you, doesn’t mean I’m easy.” In hindsight, she regretted doing so. Especially when he was being a dick. Disgusted with him, she turned on her heels. “You know what? Perhaps I will go out with David—then at least you’ve got a reason to warn me off him!” Marching back to the house, she was seething. Angry, perhaps even a little disappointed and hurt, she shook her head. When Cole’s hand wrapped around her wrist, forcing her to whirl around to him again, she was beyond pissed.
“What the heck? Get your hand off me.”
“You’re not leaving me like this,” he gritted out, though the expression on his face wasn’t angry, more…resolved.
“Like what?” Vehemently she tried to pull her arm free. No chance.
“I don’t end conversations during a fight. Ever.” The muscles in his jaw were completely tensed up.
“Well, I am done talking to you.” Again she pulled at her arm, again with no success.
“No, you’re not.”
“You are as controlling as David is. That’s just perfect, I won’t even notice the difference when I’m with him.” Now she was trying to piss him off. After that dick move before, he deserved it, though. Asshole. When a muscle beneath his eye ticked, Jasmine inwardly smiled. It didn’t matter if he was jealous or if it was part of the rivalry between him and David—marking his territory or something. The only thing that mattered to Jasmine right now was getting rid of Cole. Making him angry enough to let go of her seemed like a good plan.
“He won’t touch you.” By now Cole’s breathing had become agitated. So she was succeeding in angering him? You go, girl!
“Why not? You warned me off, so apparently I can’t resist any man whom I meet. Oh, and I met David even before you, so perhaps I already—” Her words were dripping with sarcasm, but ended quickly, when all her breathing air was stolen by a hard kiss. At first she protested, bit his lip, and with her free hand hammered against his chest, but he kept pressing his lips against hers. In spite of herself, her resolve started crumbling until he had her melting all over again in his arms. How was it even possible that he could ignite a fire in her heart with just a kiss?
When they both breathed heavily, he ended the kiss but pressed his forehead against hers. “That is why he won’t touch you. Because your colors, your sighs, soul, and passion are all mine,” he growled. On her cheeks she could sense his every breath; she felt his lips moving on hers while speaking. Intense man.
“I don’t belong to you, Cole,” Jasmine insisted, not willing to let herself be pushed around by anyone.
“You will.”
♥♥♥
AFTER HEARING HER say she’d be in and out of here, then gone to the next project, something inside of Cole had snapped. Hell, he probably shouldn’t have told her half the things he had, but his newfound emotions had overwhelmed him once more. He wasn’t quite able to handle them yet, was so used to feeling only the one single deadening emotion that he was in way over his head now. After years of one cold day after another, he had suddenly stepped into new territory.
Knowing all of this didn’t change anything, though. After five years of darkness, her light was blinding him—at the same time, he saw clear as day again. He would always be damaged; that was no question for him, but he didn’t care. Finally he could feel again¸ finally there was something, no, someone who made him give a damn; and finally he felt alive once more.
For five long years, his insides had been dead. Jasmine had managed to bring
him back to life. He didn’t know how or why, but he knew one thing—he could never ever let her go if he wanted to keep that feeling.
Being alive.
Fuck. It was such a simple thing, something that shouldn’t take effort, but it did. For him, it really did. And just like that, she was the most valuable thing in Cole’s life. And he was going to make her stay. She didn’t realize it yet, but she was already his. For a moment, he closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of her soft skin against his roughness. Taking in a deep breath, he got drunk on her sweet scent. Fresh, like flowers, like life and sun. He loved it.
After having taken in another deep breath, he opened his eyes again. Hers were widened, staring up at him like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck. Hopefully, they would collide but not crash. Once, he’d lost all footing. Never again. If only he had control over such things.
“I’m taking you upstairs now.” He dipped his head to kiss her again. Let me feel; wake me the fuck up, he thought silently to himself. He was a drowning man, had been for five years, but Jasmine could throw him a lifeline. With his body, Cole crowded her backward until her thighs met the hood of the truck. Perhaps he wouldn’t even make it up to the second floor of the house. No, why not take her right here when she was looking at him with this hot, welcoming expression in her eyes? On his shoulders her hands were gentle; at the same time, she held on tight.
“We’re not going to make it upstairs.” Smiling lightly, he shook his head. The grin grew when her eyes opened even wider.
“Here?” she whispered in such a sweet, shocked manner; it just reminded Cole all over again why she was so good for him. Jasmine Frost, in total contrast to her cold last name, was vibrant. Whereas Cole was almost numb, when hardly anything could faze him, she was shocked by the tiniest of things, could get herself all worked up about him…be passionate.
All of that he wanted very much. He only hoped, in feeding off her brightness, he wouldn’t make her lose her glow. Never could he stand for that.
Good Grief Page 7
