“I’m not a stick.” Tiny’s darkly dappled face danced in my head, his broad brow wrinkled from arguing ownership with slobbering growls that held no heat. “I’m—” I stopped there, because my mouth stalled out on me, fearful lips holding fast to each other and trapping my words inside.
“You are mine.” He rubbed his cheek against mine, and I smiled at how the scruff of his beard caught at my hair, wanting to hold onto it longer. His voice rolled and raged in quiet, the anger at himself swallowed until it was scarcely there, but I heard it. “You are mine, and I love you more than I can express. My words fail me, Ester.”
“Mine, too.” I piped that out like one of the birds waiting on seed, impatient to share their need. He’s my needing. Quick and shrill my words, wanting him to know we shared sameness. “Can I…” I only allowed my throat a single pause to swallow the bitter back down. One and done, and then I asked permission from the part of my heart that lived outside my body. “Can I kiss you, Bones?”
“If ever you find yourself so inclined, there need be no askings, my Ester.” His hold relaxed, and I twisted around in the powerful circle, not wanting to lose him entirely. He had his chin dipped to his neck and he looked at me with sweet longing. “Only doings.”
So, I did him, right there on the stairs, with my brother and his brothers watching, not caring when Bones growled his tiny growl at their happy shouts.
***
Bones
Slowly, too slowly, Ester came back to life. With every second that ticked past and she still wasn’t where she should have been with a house filled with their friends, Bones hated himself a little more. The joy on her face when she’d seen Myron had been worth anything, and if Bones had harbored a tiny slice of jealousy at how she loved her brother, he should have reminded himself of the previous night, or that morning, or any of a thousand moments Ester had given him to show she loved him, too. It didn’t make sense to him, how that tiny bit of green had whipped free so quickly. Seeing the love of his life close down had torn him up inside, and he’d vowed to himself to keep a tighter rein.
She straddled the arm of the couch, hip by his head so he could look up at her face. Ester was focused on something Red was telling her, eyes wide in surprise. Bones watched her. She tilted her head and frowned suddenly, then burst into laughter, lips pulled wide in amusement at whatever story Red had spun. As if she could feel his gaze upon her, she glanced down at Bones, the laughter changing subtly to a pleased happiness.
She loves me. That was something he knew without a doubt. At some point in his life, he had done enough good for God to send him this angel. Bones lifted his chin slightly, and she didn’t make him wait, swooping down to place her mouth over his in a firm press, lips dragging to the corner of his mouth where she dropped a quick kiss on the skin of his cheek.
Her name was called from across the room, and Bones watched Isabella smile at Ester. The woman had decided Ester needed to be her best friend, titling her nearly a year ago with no argument from Ester. He didn’t think either of them had much experience with female friends—Ester from the isolation of being homeless for so long, and Bella because she’d been raised in a male-centric club in New Mexico. Her near-sister was Carmela, and those two girls were thick as thieves, but Mela had moved to California with her old man, Hurley.
Bella waved urgently, her hands making swirling motions in front of her that Bones didn’t try to decipher. Ester seemed to understand, pushing off the couch to stand. She laughed sharply in surprise when Bones pulled her down to his lap. “Please, my Ester.” Nuzzling against the side of her neck, he was rewarded by her hand on his head, fingers threading through and tightening on the hair he’d grown for that purpose.
“Whatever you need, Bones.” Ester’s whisper was quiet, words spoken softly next to his ear. “Any needing.”
“One kiss, my heart.” Lips to her cheek, he told her the truth. “I want more, I need more, but for now, a kiss will do.” She melted against him, and he found her mouth with his, following a well-known dance of lips and tongue, letting her lead at times, then taking it back until she called his name, need coloring her voice with sweet promise. “Later, I will collect on the any portion.” She shivered in his arms when he assured her that, and Bones smiled, setting her upright. Hands to her hips, he steadied her, then released his hold, knowing she would always return to him.
Head bent, she sat listening closely to Bella, and Bones breathed easier as Ester’s profile slowly relaxed. The apple of her cheek lifted, a smile he couldn’t see creasing her face, and he sighed. He had talked to Bella before the group left the clubhouse, hoping that the pain of the ask would be less coming from another woman. The club’s party would be in three weeks, and he didn’t know when he would pull together the courage to ask Ester to go. Would that her life was always like this. Bringing in a houseful of his brothers and their friends had been a risk, but Myron’s presence had made it easier to agree.
As if his thoughts conjured the man, Myron spoke from beside him.
“She looks good, brother.”
Bones nodded, gaze still locked on Ester. She and Bella were holding hands now, Bella shaking Ester’s back and forth in excitement. She glanced at him over her shoulder, caught him studying her and shook her head. Then she rolled her eyes before turning back to Bella, and Bones didn’t try to stifle his laughter, knowing she heard him when she shook her head again, hair flying back and forth. She will be with me.
“She does.” Drawing breath in on a sigh, he looked up to where Myron stood next to the couch. “It was a good call to have Mica watch your little girl tonight, though.”
“Talya loves her Aunt Ester, but she also enjoys spending time with Jon and Tomas. It wasn’t a hard sell.”
Natalya was Myron’s adopted daughter, shared with his husband, Andy. Jon was the son of Mica and Daniel Rupert, and Tomas belonged to Mica’s sister, Molly, and her husband, J.J. Rupert, long time and valued friends of the club.
“It was kind of you to offer. I know Mouse does not like to be away from Talya often.” Myron’s grin was broad, and it was strong proof he was Ester’s brother, because it showed the man’s delight just as hers always did. “What?”
“Me and Andy booked into a room at the Admiral. Road got us upgraded to a suite. It’s pretty nice. Quiet.” He tipped his head to the side and waited. Bones shook his head, not understanding. “You know. Without kids?” Bones studied him for a moment, still puzzled as Myron’s smiled stretched wider. “No Talya means it’s daddy time.”
“Oh, sweet Jesus in a basket.” Red’s muttered quietly from the other side of Myron. “Please, God, tell me you don’t call him daddy.” Myron’s lips quirked, and his smile morphed into an evil grin. Red grunted like he’d been punched. “God, no. You can’t do that shit, Myron. My old lady likes to call me daddy.” His voice rose to a high quaver, and he called out in imitation, “Oh, Daddy. Spank me, Daddy.” Voice returning to normal, Red said, “I do not need to have a visual of you bonin’ Mouse the next time she’s lookin’ over her shoulder at me. Fuck you, Myron. You’ve ruined it for me now.”
Bones tipped his head back and laughed hard. “You are both absurd.”
He tensed when Ester took a step back from Bella, head shaking back and forth. She pulled her hands free, and he watched as her fists clenched, then unclenched, arms stiff at her sides. Bella leaned closer, the expression on her face earnest, and just as Bones was ready to push off the couch, Ester nodded once. She bent towards Bella, and he watched in surprise as she rested her cheek on Bella’s shoulder for a moment. The smile on Bella’s face was blinding, and she recovered quickly, wrapping Ester in her arms, holding her close.
“It’s gonna be okay.” Bones looked up to see Myron’s eyes were locked on Ester, too. “You’re strong enough for both of you when you need to be, Bones. She’ll struggle. Maybe for a while, but you’ll figure it out, and then together you’ll move forwards.”
A hand landed on his shoulder and
he heard Shades’ familiar voice. “You know how you always say she makes you a better man?” Bones nodded, unable to speak at the way his brothers were circling around him protectively. “Well, you make her a better woman, too. Ester’s strong, and she’s it for you, brother. Blind man could see it. And me? I’m not blind, which means I see you’re it for her, too. You’ll get through this, Bones. It’s a rough patch, no doubt, but you’ll get through it.”
Bones started to answer just as the phone in the study rang once. He listened closely, heard murmuring voices and nodded. One of the men in there had answered. Probably club business, which meant he’d have to get up anyway, so he pushed off the couch and stood. Plowboy walked to the door and stared out, sweeping the crowd with his gaze. “Ester, the phone is for you.”
She froze in place and turned to stare at Bones with wide eyes. He nodded encouragingly and touched a fingertip to his chest in a silent question. Her bobbing head was answer enough, so Bones followed her as she made her way to the study. Once inside, he took the cordless device from Plowboy with a muttered, “Thanks,” and went directly to the desk, punching the button to put the call on speaker. “Ester can hear you.” She wouldn’t talk on the phone yet, not unless he forced her, and after thrusting an impromptu party upon her, there was no way he would do that to her now. She drifted in close behind him, placed her palms on his waist, her fingers twisted tight in the belt loops of his pants. There was silence, so he prompted, “What do you need?”
“Ester’s there?” It was a man’s voice, and Bones’ jealousy stirred again, teeth grinding tight together. “She’s on the call?”
“Yes. As I said, she can hear you.” He swallowed hard, muscles of his jaw burning with the drive to hurt something, hurt someone, this someone specifically because the man thought nothing of holding her name in his mouth. She’s mine. “What do you want?”
“Tell her Goliath isn’t working out.” Bones startled when Ester’s head popped around his shoulder, her eyes narrowed as she glared at the phone. “She needs to figure something else for him.”
“Goliath?” Bones was confused by the name. This was no one he’d heard about from Ester before, and definitely wasn’t a club member. He would have remembered a name such as that, threaded through with dominance. “Who is that?”
“Tiny.” Quiet, the single word shook, and Bones wrapped an arm around Ester’s shoulders. She moved more fully in front of him, head angled down to look at the phone. “His name is Tiny.”
“Doesn’t matter what he’s called, Ester.” The man’s tone had changed, turned arrogant in a way he hadn’t sounded when speaking to Bones, and that very change angered Bones more. Through the speaker, he heard barking and finally realized this had to be about one of her rescues. “He isn’t a fit for me. You need to come get him.” A pause, then louder, an attempt to command without realizing he was speaking to a room full of men far more dominant than whoever this was on the phone could ever be. “Come get him now.”
“His name is Tiny.” Her frame shook as badly as her voice, and it took Bones a moment to realize this was anger driving his woman. “Not Goliath.”
***
Ester
Eric Nettic had called Bones’ house. He wasn’t supposed to; the rules for fostering and adoption were clear. Calls were to be directed to the center only. But because he knew me, or thought he did, this man had somehow found it inside him to call here, putting himself smack within the walls of my sanctuary. I hated him a little right then, but I couldn’t focus on the me-anger, because I could hear the barking and whimpering in the silences between his words. So I let the Tiny-anger take over, carrying me through the breaking wave that let me harness it and speak.
“His name is Tiny.” It was, too, no matter what Eric not-nice Nettic called the Great Dane. “Not Goliath.” Bones pulled me sideways so my shoulder hit his ribs, his arm tight around my shoulder. I needed that hold right then to keep me from launching myself through the phone to strangle the man who’d made my brave dog sound like that.
“Goliath,” he hissed, stubborn to a fault. I should have known better. “But like I said, it doesn’t matter what his name is, you need to come get the dog now. I think it’s because you insisted on having him fixed. He’s cowing down to my Dozer, Ester. I can’t have him here like this.”
“Taking that tone with my woman is not wise, asshole. Watch yourself.” Bones was vibrating in place, muscles clenching in his arms. I spoke over him, wanting to make my point clear, because Eric not-nice Nettic was wrong about the dog.
“He can’t be what his name is as long as you call him Goliath, no matter what you want. Wantings don’t get you what you need, and you only think you need what you have. That dog will never be a Goliath, because in his heart he’s Tiny. Your mind wants a dog that can be a Goliath, but you…that’s not what you need. Because a Goliath would fight you, argue with you, tell you you’re wrong, and you’d have to convince them you know best.”
I tried breathing through my nose to calm down, a trick the yoga instructor at the co-op had shared.
It didn’t work.
“Goliaths aren’t pets, they’re partners, and that is not, not, not what you need, Eric. Mister not-nice Nettic. Your heart needs a Tiny. A dog that’s willing to take what you give, and they love you for the least of your attention, because that’s all you’ll ever have to give them.”
Bones was looking me with the oddest expression on his face. Shock warring for space with pride, but I couldn’t give that any space in my head right now.
This man, this Eric Nettic, had riled me up. I was a pup momma right now, and I let the bitch take me where she needed to go. The anger buoyed me up, lifted me to my toes as I shouted towards the phone, willing Tiny to hear me and know I was coming. I was coming right now. I wrinkled my lip up and stuck my tongue out at the phone. He’s not a good dog daddy.
“He deserves more than that. He deserves everything. He deserves to be trusted to know what he needs to be. You want to think you’re bigger than you are, so you try to force the Tiny dog into the role you carved out for him. But you don’t stop to wonder if he’s happy there, or if he was happier where he was. Well, you can bet your bippy butt I’ll be coming to get him. I’ll be there in five minutes, Eric not-nice Nettic. And if you call him Goliath one. More. Time.” I hesitated, then decided if the ferocity inside me was a momma dog fighting for her pup, then I wouldn’t worry about nice. “I’ll kick you so hard you’ll wish the vet would have fixed you instead.”
I reached out and rapped my fist against the glowing button on the box, then backed away, putting Bones between it and me. He didn’t move, and I was glad, because I could only adjust to one overwhelming change in the room at once. And me talking to Eric not-nice Nettic on the phone was big.
“I’m glad that wasn’t video.” The couple of times I’d chatted with Myron through Bones’ phone, he’d held it across the room, letting me see my brother’s face from afar but still close enough to watch him smile. “I need to go get a dog.”
Bones asked, “Will the center be open?” I tugged on one side of Bones’ jeans and he turned to face me. I shook my head. His eyes drew a zigzag line across my features, nostrils flaring. He brought his hands up to cup the back of my neck. “Ester, what will you do with the dog?”
I didn’t think, didn’t care, only knew I had to go, and these questions were holding me back from doing what Tiny needed. What I needed. Momma needed to rescue her pup. “Tiny can come here.”
Bones looked alarmed. For all he knew, I loved dogs. He’d only asked once or twice, and then things had gotten crazy, and then I’d gone crazy again, and I hadn’t brought it up again. He stared at me and stared at me, and then his shoulders lowered, expression softening. “Okay.”
“I’ll go with her.” Myron’s voice was right behind me, and Bones’ gaze flicked up and back down. I nodded. He should stay. But I had to go, and he recognized both of those in a moment.
“Where does thi
s man live? He was not kind when he spoke to you, my Ester.” Gaze back up over my shoulder, and I knew his next words were for Myron. “You do not allow that in person.”
“No, brother. You know I’ve got her.” Myron’s hand was solid and warm when he dropped it at the back of my neck, fingers and thumb giving me a squeeze that made my whole chest warm.
“I have to go.”
Bones’ gaze dipped to my mouth, and I couldn’t help it. Amid all my fury and rage at a man who didn’t understand the beauty inside the dog entrusted to him, I melted a little when my man asked for a kiss. In his own way, using the language we held between us, he showed me. Myron’s heat fell away when I leaned forwards, my hands propped on Bones’ chest as I lifted to my toes. Carried there not by rage and anger this time, but by love.
Slowly, as if we were alone and had the whole of the night in front of us, I pressed my lips to his and he turned into a mirror, giving me an exact replica of love back. I kissed him and kissed him, and stored up that love inside my belly, lining my chest with it, holding it in every corner of my mind, ready in case I needed to bring it out and look at it. He bit at my bottom lip, gripping it gently with his teeth as he drifted away slightly. “I love you,” I told him. It came out garbled without the use of both my lips, but I laughed at the look on his face. “You think I’m cute,” I reminded him, and he nodded, taking my head with him, my lip still trapped in his teeth. “Bones, I gotta go.” That earned my release because he needed to laugh, and he couldn’t do it properly without his mouth on mine.
After he gave me laughing kisses, he backed away and looked over my shoulder again. “Bring her back safely.”
We were out on the sidewalk and I’d turned towards Nettic’s house without pause before Myron spoke. “So we’re walkin’?” I nodded, pushing my legs to longer strides, wanting to eat up the blocks between me and where Tiny was. Myron’s shadow stretched ahead of us for the moment, drawn there by the angle of the lights across the street. It looked as if his darkness was checking the cracks, ensuring our safety. I liked the idea of something innately my Ronnie worrying about me like that. “You like this dog, huh?”
Christmas Doings Page 3
