by Riley Ashby
I struggled to breathe, not because of his hands but his words. “Do I get any kind of say in this?”
“What do you think?” He caught my face in his hands, running his fingers over my cheekbones.
I turned one leg out to the side and rose on my toes. He lifted me the rest of the way, setting me on the edge of the counter and sliding between my legs. “I won’t ask because I can’t risk you saying no.”
I bit my lip as he entered me and began to thrust.
“Make sure I’ll say yes.”
We trembled together there in the quiet morning, with me naked and opened before him in every way I could imagine, and still, he couldn’t bring himself any closer. I read the words in his eyes as clearly as I could read the text of any book. Was it really still so confusing to him, so unclear? I pulled my face to his and guided his hands between my legs, to that wet heat begging to grow, to release, to join with him again before the next phase of this ordeal tore us apart forever.
His eyes flicked to mine. “Will you?”
I breathed deep, the chill of the room suddenly nipping at my skin as if a window had been opened somewhere. I still didn’t know enough.
His hips stilled, and he swallowed. He pulled his hand from mine and licked his fingers clean, then mine, never once looking away from me. When his hands were clean, he stepped back, leaving us both unsatisfied. “Come downstairs once you’re dressed. We’ll have breakfast.”
We barely got to eat. She couldn’t move more than a couple of steps away without me reaching to close the distance. Every time I turned my back to her, I found her hands on my shoulders or my waist, or her breasts brushing my side as she leaned past me to grab the salt or turn off the burner. I finally grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her toward the table, giving her a little push back.
“Go.” She pouted over her shoulder and didn’t move. “I’m serious. I can’t get anything done with you in here.”
“I want to help.”
“No, you don’t. You’re trying to distract me.”
“It’s working.”
“Obviously.” I had dropped an egg on the floor at some point. I leaned over to wipe it up with a towel, and the shell crushed between my fingers. “Sit down and let me get a hold of myself.”
It was calm outside. The weather was supposed to be nice for a few days. Vin had called me while Quinn was getting dressed. He didn’t have any new information, but his voice sounded tight on the phone. I didn’t think he planned to come back again anytime soon, but with the FBI involved, I couldn’t be sure. If he wanted to move her, I couldn’t really do anything about it.
End it.
No. There was still too much left to uncover. If I finished before I did what I needed to do, I would’ve wasted not only my own time but Parker’s and a bunch of other people’s as well. And I would still have to figure out what came next for us.
Us. A strange word. Two letters, two people, but what did it really mean? Once this was over, I wouldn’t be me. At least, not in the real sense, the way I knew myself now. And who would she be? After all she’d been through in this short life, and this added on top of that, what would she end up becoming? To the rest of the world, I would always only be her captor. Would it be the same for her?
“Come out of your head.”
I cleared my throat as the room rematerialized around me. I’d reached across the table, and Quinn was holding my fingers in her palm, the index finger of her opposite hand tracing the knuckles as she spoke.
“Where did you go?”
I wanted to pull my hand back, but I couldn’t. I was grounded against her as firmly as if she’d cemented me there.
“The first time I killed someone, I was nineteen.”
She gasped and dropped my hand, then scrambled to pick it up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to react like that. You caught me off guard.”
“I didn’t mean to say it. At least, not like that.”
She turned my hand over hers, tracing the lines of my palm with light fingertips. She didn’t look at me.
“It was self-defense. I had to do it.” I already sounded like I was trying to justify it. “That’s how Parker and I met, actually. In the fallout.”
“Is she a police officer?”
I laughed a little. “No, she isn’t. You think I’d bring a cop here?”
“I’ve learned not to be surprised by anything you do.”
“Good girl.”
She blushed and looked at her plate. She loved to be praised. Well, I could do that and then some.
“Why did you kill him? What did he do?”
“He had something I needed, and he threatened my life. So I took his.”
“What did it feel like?”
“Nothing.” The word came out too fast. “He was in my way, so I eliminated him. It was the right thing to do.”
“Other people didn’t see it that way, I’m assuming?”
“Correct. So I landed in jail for a short time, and then …” I waved my hand. “Jonah contacted me.” She furrowed her brow at the name, and I remembered she hadn’t met him. “He’s Vin’s right hand. I didn’t have anything else going for me, so I joined the Disciples.”
“Was that the right decision?”
“Whether it was or wasn’t doesn’t matter. I am where I am because of them. I have you because of them.”
She smirked and raised an eyebrow, but there was no humor in her eyes. She was faking it. “Parker said you were a romantic.”
“She would.” I tugged her closer, across the table, so she had to rise out of her chair. “This isn’t a fairy tale.”
“I think I know that better than you.”
She dropped my hands, placed her palms on the table, and lifted herself the rest of the way. I moved my glass of water at the last second as she crawled over and into my lap.
Her thighs straddled my hips, and suddenly, my whole body was on fire, burning underneath her as if I’d never seen a drop of water in my life.
“I’m going to hurt you.” I had no choice but to catch her around her back and hold her against me so she didn’t fall.
“It’s too late for that, Gunner.” She ran her fingers over my face, and the ridges of her fingerprints caught on my light stubble. “You’re the one who pulled me into this.”
“And I don’t regret it. But I’m trying out something called … honesty.”
“It looks good on you.” When she kissed me, she sucked my lip into her mouth and held it between her teeth for a moment before rubbing her nose against mine. “I went to you on the dance floor not because you tricked me or drugged me. You pulled me into your orbit.”
“I couldn’t have stayed away from you if I tried. More importantly, I couldn’t leave you to go through this with someone else.” I grabbed her hips and held her tighter against me, thrusting upward, relishing the flutter of her eyelids as she fought to stay focused. “You’re mine. No matter how sick it is.”
“I know. Believe me, that’s the only thought that runs around in my head when I’m alone.” Her fingers on my skin felt like raindrops. “But then I come through the door or around the corner, and I see you, and I’m dazzled. Blown away by the fact that someone like you could even enter my orbit. And I think, ‘get a hold of yourself; something in you is sick.’ But then you lift your head and look back at me, and your face … it’s like you’ve never seen the sun.”
She was too close, and this was too much. But I couldn’t pull back, even if I wanted to. “As though I’ve been living below the earth all this time and just came above the clouds … and there you were.”
“Yeah. Like that.”
I kissed her. Kissed her like I was pouring my soul into her, and she gave it back to me in equal force. No hesitation. No deceit, either. She was giving me all her honesty, even after I’d done nothing but lie to her.
If I’d known telling her about the first time I killed someone would make her put out, I’d have done it the first day.
> The dogs heard it before we did and started barking so loudly I almost missed the sound of a car door slamming. Her breath caught as she sat up straight and looked toward the front door. I squeezed her waist lightly. “They can’t get in here unless I let them in,” I reminded her as she slid off my lap and I stood. “Relax for a minute.”
I had to raise my voice to speak over the pounding on the door. Vin was standing outside with, to my surprise, Jonah. When I opened the door, I didn’t get a chance to greet them before they blew past me into the house.
“Let’s go to the basement.”
I was used to Vin skipping pleasantries, but there was more to his bad attitude today. Something was wrong. Vin was good at hiding his emotions, but I was better at reading them. It had kept me alive all this time. “What’s going on?”
“I’ll explain in a minute. Let’s get below ground.”
“Okay.” I frowned. Best not to push him. “I need to put her upstairs.”
“No.” Jonah gestured to Quinn. “All four of us.”
I frowned at him. He was acting weird, too. He stared back at me expressionlessly with no hint of a smile or wink to reassure me. “Fine. Let me blindfold her.”
“No need.” Vin opened the door to the basement and held it open wide. “There’s nothing so secret down here that our pretty little hostage can’t know about, is there?”
We all looked at Quinn. She was fiddling with the hem of her shirt as she looked among us. Her body language was of a demure captive, but when she spoke, she didn’t waver. “I’m not going down there with you.”
“You don’t have a choice, sweetheart.” He gestured at me. “Grab her, or I will.”
It shouldn’t have hurt me so badly that she took a step back as I approached her. She’s pretending, I told myself. But that wasn’t the whole truth. She didn’t trust him, and when he was in the house, she didn’t trust me either. I took her by the upper arm.
“Come on. Nothing is going to happen.”
She took a step back, as far as my hold would permit her. “You can’t promise that.”
Vin’s laughter echoing up from the basement made us both jump. He hadn’t made a noise as he was going down the stairs. And because I was so caught up in watching Quinn, being hurt that she didn’t trust me to keep her alive when a man who could kill us both with the snap of his fingers stood before us, I hadn’t even noticed. This was bad. If I needed us to get out of this, whatever was going on, I needed to pay better attention.
“Let’s go,” Jonah said. “We don’t have all day.”
With a resigned look, Quinn allowed me to lead her to the basement. I had to give her credit—her shock when we walked into the basement was as real as it was the day before when she came down with Parker.
“What are all these weapons for?”
“That’s none of your business.” Vin stood in the middle of the room, right hand still in his pocket.
I cocked my head at him. “Do you need me to take your coat?”
Vin smiled. No, smile wasn’t the right word for it. His mouth opened in a straight line, and I could see all his teeth, but it was more like he was baring his fangs.
“He’s fine as he is.” The voice was nasally—I must have broken his nose. But even distorted, it was unmistakable. Quinn and I turned in unison to see Colby descending the stairs behind us.
I pulled Quinn closer against my side. “How did you get in here?”
“I let him in.” Jonah stood halfway up the stairs. “I left the door open.”
“Now that the gang’s all here, I guess we can get started.” I turned back to see Vin hadn’t moved, although his hand wasn’t in his pocket anymore. He was pointing a gun at us.
Gunner didn’t move, didn’t react at all, except for the tightening of his hand on my arm. But what was he going to do? Throw me behind him, toward Colby and the new man? If he pushed me to the side, I’d be trapped deeper in the room. Why was Vin pointing a gun at us? No, not us. Gunner. It was aimed directly at his heart.
“What’s going on, Vin?” Gunner’s voice was flat, almost like another person. “I thought we were all friends.”
“That’s what I thought, too.” Vin took a step toward us. “Then Colby told me something very interesting today.”
I shook my arm free of Gunner’s grasp. I needed my hand if I was going to have to pull out the knife. Gunner kept his eyes on Vin.
“And since when has Colby been good for anything except licking your boots clean?”
“Since I found out what you really are.”
I jumped at the proximity of his voice. When had he crept up on us? In unison, almost as if we planned it, Gunner and I both turned to the side and took a step back, so we each could keep all three men in our sights. Vin’s gun swung toward Gunner, and Colby pulled out one of his own. The other man on the stairs leaned against the wall, his body language affecting boredom, but there was no hiding the malice in his gaze directed at Gunner.
Gunner had gone very still. “If that’s true, putting a bullet in me is the last thing you want to do.”
Vin laughed. He laughed so hard he almost doubled over, slapping one hand on his meaty thigh all while keeping the gun pointed at Gunner. “Believe me, son, Jonah had to convince me not to simply firebomb this place. I would have gladly let her burn if it meant taking you out at the same time.”
“I’m giving you a chance to walk out of this, Vin. You cooperate here, and I can make your life easier.”
“I’ll never cooperate with the police!” He took two steps and shoved the gun in Gunner’s face. Gunner never moved an inch. “You fucked with the wrong people, boy. I’ll make you regret every secret you fed back to your pig friends.”
I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself. What was he saying? Was Gunner working with the police? That was impossible. He’d been with the Disciples for years. What would have made him change his allegiance?
With a movement so quick I almost didn’t see it, Gunner snatched the gun out of his face and pointed it to the ground. I jumped and screamed as a shot rang out, echoing in the small space. Colby raised his firearm, finger on the trigger.
“No! Get her!” The man on the stairs hadn’t moved, but his voice filled the room like thunder.
This is what Parker was talking about. I didn’t have any time. I sprinted to the other end of the room and slid under the workbench, hands feeling randomly while I sought it out with my eyes. There! The red button, blinking so faintly as to almost be invisible, but enough that I could find it and slam my palm against it just as a hand closed around my ankle.
Nothing happened. I slammed it again and again, kicking wildly to try to free myself, but Colby wrapped his arms around my calves and dragged me into the light.
“He’s not going to be around to protect you anymore,” he said. “You’ll be mine. Vin already promised. I’m going to ...”
He screamed and loosened his grip on me just enough for me to get my knees up, and then I kicked him in the stomach and sent him keeling backward. When he hit the ground, it was with a wet squelch, and he screamed again as he rolled off his injured side, the flesh flayed open and hanging off his back like a curtain.
My hand was clenching the Karambit so hard it hurt.
Colby clamped one hand over the wound, then let it go, caught between wanting to slow the bleeding and the pain he must feel. He stared at the knife, then me, and though his lips moved soundlessly, I knew what he was saying.
Bitch.
His blood dripped like rain onto the mat where I learned to use the blade not twenty-four hours before.
This can’t be real. This can’t be real.
But across the room, the sounds of Vin’s and Gunner’s struggle reminded me that not only was it very real, but it was far from over.
What should I do? Did I try to get between them? Vin had made it clear the value of my life was debatable. Would he risk pulling the trigger if I got in his way? But I didn’t even know where my ent
rance would be, so entangled were the two men. Blood and sweat spattered the mat around them, and I didn’t know how much of it belonged to Gunner.
“Forget it, hun.” The man on the stairs walked across the room, deftly avoiding Gunner and Vin as if he were simply passing them on the sidewalk. He dropped to his knees next to Colby and added his own pressure to the wound, ignoring Colby’s grunts of pain as he held the skin in place. “There’s no way out of this for you. Go run into whatever corner you want, but you’re not walking out of here.”
They didn’t know about that button, whatever it did. He thought I’d run wildly into a random corner.
“That’s a nice blade you’ve got there. Did he give it to you?”
I held the blade like Parker taught me, glad for the ring on the end that allowed me to keep hold of it despite my shaking hand. “He didn’t know I had it.”
“Jonah …” Colby’s voice was surprisingly strong, considering how heavily he was breathing. The pain must be unbearable
“Shut the fuck up,” the man, Jonah, snapped. “I can’t believe a girl half your size got the better of you, even if you didn’t know she had it.” He looked back at me, one eyebrow raised. “If you want to try to run, now’s your opportunity. I’d love to hunt you in the dark.”
Not a chance. There had to be some way I could help Gunner. He was against the wall now, dodging Vin’s punches and throwing kicks to his legs and groin. I looked around, wishing I knew how to use any of the weapons on the wall, but even if I did, they were all locked behind metal cages. Had the button I pressed worked? What was it supposed to do? If help was coming, how long before it arrived? The dogs barked furiously upstairs.
I sat up suddenly. The dogs! Why weren’t they coming down? “Blanca!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Nicky!” Their nails skittered on the hard floor, but they were still reluctant to come down. What command would they respond to?
“Be quiet,” Jonah growled, but it didn’t matter.
