by Nicety
He was late coming in but I wasn’t going to hold that against him. I didn’t want to start a fight when all I really wanted to do was have him rub his large rough hands all over my body. Besides, I trusted him. My baby knew exactly what he had at home and knowing what I had been through before him, I found solace in knowing that he would never hurt me that way.
“I’ve missed you so much.” My lips meshed with his so lovingly.
I needed his warm embrace after having cried myself to sleep on the couch. Since the funeral I had been afflicted with grief. Grief that mostly consumed me because of the level of hurt Damita was willing to put me through for her own happiness. She hurt me so badly but I would never get to tell her how I felt and she would never get to apologize for her role in my hurt.
He moved kissing a trail down to my neck then lifting my shirt kissing the cleavage that stuck out the top of my bra. As I rubbed his broad chest, he rubbed my pussy so gently sending chills throughout my clit making her purr heavily. His tongue tasted mine as his bulge pressed against my leg. My hands massaged his head down to his arms, caressing his muscles, then quickly back up to his head and then at that very moment as I patted around, I freaked all the way out. No dreads!
“Argh! Get the fuck off of me. Are you serious right now?” Bringing my knees up to my chest, I shoved my feet into his chest to get him to stop his insatiable acts. “Why would you do that shit, Jeremiah?”
“What you talking about? I ain’t did nothing but try to give you what we both know you want.” Jeremiah backed off me rubbing pain away from his stomach as he hunched over.
“Oh my gosh, I thought you were Myking—“
“Myking? How the fuck did you think that? I don’t look shit like that nigga.”
“It’s dark and I’ve been crying… Ugh! I just wanted it to be him, I guess. I don’t know but why the fuck would you do something like that?”
“What you mean? ‘Cause you’re my woman and I wanted you.” Jeremiah’s words were slurred.
“Ugh, you’re drunk.” It pissed me off as I licked my lips tasting the strong flavor of cognac on my lips. “You dumb motherfucka. You’re not supposed to be drinking after major surgery like what you had. Anyway, I’m not your girl anymore dumbass. You lost this. Remember?”
“Whatever woman. You know you miss this dick,” he sucked his teeth waving me off simultaneously.
“The fuck? I don’t ever want that shit from you again, Jeremiah. Ever. We’re done. Don’t you ever fucking touch me like that again. Do you hear me?” I tried like hell to wipe the taste of him from my lips but it was no use. “Ugh, you’ve got some damn nerve coming up in here trying to be all up on me like ain’t shit changed.”
“I’ve got some nerve? You were mine first. You’ll always belong to me, B. How he fuck you gonna leave me for that bitch ass nigga?” Jeremiah backed up sluggishly towards the island counter.
“Whatever, J. I hope you enjoyed that shit because it will be the last time you are ever that close to me again. You got that? You will never taste this shit ever again.” I was furious. “Anyway, if I meant that much to you then you had a funny way of showing it. You fucked us up, not me.”
“I know. I know I fucked up but you going with my friend is not how you get back at a nigga, B. I would’ve never did that type of shit to you. You could’ve fucked any other nigga out here, B. Why him?” Pain read on his face so much I thought he would cry.
I may have been bogus for fucking with his best friend but I wasn’t going to apologize for it. The deed was done and there was nothing I could do to change the shit. It happened and just like I had to get over him creating another family with someone else, he needed to get over me starting a new life with someone he used to call his friend. I refused to dignify his anger with a response.
“Any other nigga, B.” He pointed his finger my way, scolding me like a wayward child.
“Grow the fuck up and be a man. Take responsibility for your role in all this shit. You’re no fucking saint in this equation, Jeremiah.” Folding my arms in front of me, I made a decision that I should’ve made that day in the hospital at his bedside. “I want you out of this house, Jeremiah. You’re no longer welcome here while I’m here.”
“B. Bianca, listen—“
“No, I don’t care what you have to say, J. I’ve given you more than enough chances, way more than I should’ve given you the entire time we’ve been together. And, now that we aren’t together I don’t owe you shit. I don’t want you here fucking up my future.” I was so done. “Don’t worry. We’ll be moving out of here soon. So if you want to come back and live here because this is your house then by all means. But as of right now, you can’t be here. Keep my car. I don’t even want it back. It’s all in your name anyway since that was the first Christmas present you gave me when we first got together. You know I never changed the tags to my name so just keep it.”
“But B. we can live happily now without anyone trying to mess up our relationship now. I’m free baby. I’ve got no more ties to that bitch Sunset. I just found out that bitch lied to me. Those aren’t my kids,” Jeremiah exclaimed, excited as hell with a faint stream of tears sliding down the side of his cheeks.
“Ha. Hmm, well that’s a relief I guess. For you anyway.”
“Bianca please baby. Please just hear me out. You gotta understand why I’m acting like this baby. I know I fucked up, okay? I wasn’t the perfect man and I didn’t show you how important you actually were to me. For that, I apologize. I was a coward, an asshole. I thought I had to prove my manhood out here by stretching my dick to any bad chick with a pulse,” Jeremiah paused releasing a long deep breath. “But it took for this to happen, you leaving me, for me to see that none of that shit meant anything. I should’ve been here with you this entire time. I should’ve been a man and consoling you through all those miscarriages instead of blaming you and thinking only of myself. I should’ve been there for you, B. and I wasn’t. I love you, Bianca. Don’t do this to us. Baby please.”
He nestled his head in his hands appearing to be sobbing a bit. Never had he ever spoken those words to me before so emotionally. I waited so many years to hear him utter the importance of my presence in his life. He pretended for so long that he didn’t need me or want me. Yet, here he was standing before me pouring his heart out on the hardwood floor, putting it all on the line in a last ditch effort to get me to understand that he gets he was wrong.
What gave him the right to do this to me now? Who did he think he was, coming in up here with all of that sincerity and showing emotion? I wasn’t equipped to deal with that kind of shit, not in my fragile state of mind. The strong woman in me wanted to tell him to go straight to hell with his apology. But my heart wanted to flutter for him, tell him that everything would be all right and that we could work through this somehow like we always did. It was so like me to continue on the rollercoaster relationship with Jeremiah and deal with whatever came my way for it.
Already full of a shit load of emotions, tears threatened to stream from my eyes. My lip quivered making it was hard to focus on the right thoughts. Blinking a few times, I realized it wasn’t a dream. This shit wasn’t going away. Jeremiah stood waiting patiently, looking at me with the cutest puppy dog eyes for a response. The way my palms filled with sweat was indescribable. They were like waterfalls. His words were just what I needed to hear to make my life complete and yet…
“Good bye Jeremiah. Please leave.” Too bad his words were just too little too late for me. My finger pointed towards the front door.
“Fuuuuuck. Okay, I’mma leave. But know this, B. If I can’t have you, no one can.” He snatched his phone from off the counter, marched to the guest room where he had been sleeping, then returned with a bag of his belongings. “Believe that.”
“Whatever,” I replied.
“Oh yeah, just so you know, that motherfucka is trying to fuck up my life. And, now I have proof. Your new bitch Myking—“
“UH! See that�
�s where I’m gonna stop you, right there. When you were my man, I didn’t allow anybody to disrespect you and you are for damn sure not about to disrespect him up in my presence.”
“I need to tell you that—“
“Just go, Jeremiah! I’m done talking to you.” My skin began to crawl the more his presence lingered. “You don’t wanna know what I’m thinking about you right now. So I’m going to ask you again. Please leave.”
I watched as he stormed out of the door like a pouty spoiled brat. The bag he lugged behind him dragged on the floor without a care. The entire scene was funny as fuck for a minute. For a split second, I allowed myself to get all in my feelings and sympathize with him. He sounded so genuine that I actually almost believed him there. He had me going. Glad that went away quickly.
I snapped back to my senses once I thought about the person who loved me the most and it wasn’t J. He mainly hated the fact that someone else was with me. His feelings didn’t have anything to do with love for me and I knew it. Besides, there was no way in hell I could fuck up what I had with a great man for a bitch ass nigga. Jeremiah sounded sincere but in hindsight, he would never change and that was the bottom line.
“Bye, bye.” My fingers waved happy to be free of that demon.
Chapter 15
Meanwhile Across Town
Myking
My patience was wearing thin at a rapid pace. Slumped over in the driver’s seat, I sluggishly rolled a blunt as I listened. She wasn’t about to knock me off my square especially since I was tired and ready to go home to lie up under my queen. I had been in these streets all motherfucking day handling business. I needed a break. Fuck that I deserved a vacation. It was all I could think about while Sunset pussy-footed around the bush about some shit she claimed went down and needed to tell me.
“What the fuck is it woman? I ain’t got time for this extra shit. Just say it. Spit it out,” I grumbled, exhaling a sigh of exhaustion.
“Um, I kinda told Jeremiah everything,” Sunset spoke in a solemn tone.
“What? The fuck you mean you kinda told him anything? You either did or you didn’t Sunset. Which is it?” Adrenaline pumped through me forcing me up out of my sluggish state, waking me up with the quickness.
“Okay, I told him Myking. But he deserved the shit. He was talking so much shit and I just got tired of it. I couldn’t take the shit anymore. I’m done playing these games. You wanna fuck up his life, then you do it on your own. I’m done with this shit. I’ve got two kids that I need to focus on. Shit, I’m too young for this shit. I just need to live my life.”
I swear it got harder and harder to keep bitches in check these days. Not even money was enticing them to keep their damn mouths shut about shit anymore. They wanted it all. With my fingers, I massaged as much stress as I could from my temples. I couldn’t lie and say I didn’t know it was going to come to this though. I should’ve gotten Sunset out of this shit when I started to. But there was no time to think about bullshit I couldn’t control. I had to do damage control before shit hit the fan and it got back to Bianca.
“Lemme call you back man.” I hung up not even waiting for her response.
I needed time to think. Tee was a loose cannon when it came to shit like this. He wouldn’t understand why I paid Sunset to keep that shit a secret for so long. He didn’t have any other kids and so when he found out that he missed out on the lives of two that belonged to him, he might not take that shit so well. I needed to get to that nigga before anyone else did, especially Jeremiah. I knew how to explain shit to people to get them to listen rather than pop off. But to top it all off, when he found out another man had been raising his kids all those years that nigga’s gonna flip out for real.
Searching through my phone for Tee’s number, a text message popped up in my notification tray. Usually I disregarded those messages until I’m ready to answer them. But when I saw whom it was from, something told me to check the shit now. I hit the message to open it up finding a video instead of text. It was real dark and shit but the sound spoke volume.
This nigga had me fucked up if he thought he was gonna send me this shit to make me fallback. He obviously still hadn’t gotten it through his thick dumbass skull that I was not the same person he knew and grew up with. I was done being that lame ass nigga that followed up behind him and did everything he said. I was my own man making my own dough and running my own show. I revved up the truck peeling the tires as I headed out.
I wasn’t tired. I was fed up. When a person got to that point motherfuckas needed to duck for cover. Fed up was probably an understatement. But he had driven me to the edge. The fact that Jeremiah was testing me to the highest level let me further know that he didn’t give a fuck about anything. He was his old usual disrespectful self. If he couldn’t be happy, no one could. It was exactly why I wanted to fuck up his life and bring him down off that high horse he was on.
Normally I would handle this situation in a calm manner, just letting that nigga know where I came from and not to push me to the edge ever again or it would cost him his life. I was the type of man that never sent out threats and when it was personal I would make sure I didn’t miss. But as I pulled up in front of the house and exited the truck, all of that shit flew out the door and I was ready to get guttah up in that motherfucka.
“Where the fuck he at?” I busted through the door without even closing it behind me. “Jeremiah! Bring your bitch ass out here.”
“Baby, why are you screaming? What’s wrong? What’s going on?” Bianca came from out of the bedroom in nothing but a purple silk nighty on. Seeing her looking so good in that damn thing pissed me off even further.
“Did you fuck him? Huh? Did you?” I howled grabbing her by the shoulders shaking the shit out of her. “You back fucking with that bitch ass nigga now?”
“No! No, baby. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you say that shit to me? You know damn well I wouldn’t do that shit to you.” She trembled as her eyes bucked out wide.
I pulled out my phone shuffling through the app to get to the message then hit play on the video. Shoving it into her face and turning the volume up, Bianca covered her mouth with her hand as if she was in total shock. Her face fell flustered almost as if she had seen a ghost. Ain’t no way she could deny what was on the video. The proof was all right there. It only lasted about twenty seconds but it was more than enough to let me know that she was a fucking liar.
“You playing me B. I thought we were better than that. You straight playing me and I ain’t feeling none of that shit. You can miss me with this bullshit.” I pointed to the back room. “Where that motherfucka at? Bring your ass out here.”
“He’s not here, baby. I told him to leave baby,” Bianca cried out uncontrollably while tears drenched her face. “I swear I didn’t do anything with him baby. I don’t know where that video came from but—“
“The fuck you mean? It came from his phone. You don’t remember him recording your ass letting him kiss on you and shit?” I shoved her away from me as she continued to come closer placing her hands on my chest pleading her case. “What about the dreads? That shit didn’t give it away that it wasn’t your man? You moaning and shit too and you mean to tell me you didn’t know?”
“Baby please. I swear I didn’t fuck him.” Bianca pressed her hands against my chest continuously. “Okay, let me explain.”
“Explain what B.?”
“Fuck!” Tears flowed puddles on her face. “Where’s the rest of the video? No, there has to be more because when I pushed him off of me he went to the counter and did something but I couldn’t see. There’s more of that video. It’s gotta be. It should show that I pushed him off baby.”
“Why the fuck was you kissing on that nigga in the first place?”
Bianca broke down, using her hand to cover her sadness. She looked like she was devastated that I had called her out on this shit. Any real woman would’ve known better. Jeremiah knew what he was doing when he set up the recording. I
don’t think she would have knowingly allowed his ho ass to record her if she was gonna cheat on me. But it was bullshit nonetheless that the shit went down in the first place.
“I didn’t kiss him, baby. He kissed me,” Bianca sobbed grabbing my hand, pressing it to her cheek. “I thought he was you.”
“You thought he was me?” That shit skyrocketed my rage. “How the fuck you think he was me when I got dreads and he don’t? I’m bigger than him and everything.”
“I don’t know, Myking. But I swear I don’t want him. I want you.”
My hands interlocked on top of my head as I paced the floor blowing off a ton of steam. It took everything in me not to punch a fucking wall or her ass for that matter. She was too grown to be allowing herself to be put in these kinds of predicaments. Everybody made mistakes but only a fool would let the same person fool them twice. The walls felt like they were closing in on me. I needed to get some fresh fucking air before I exploded.
“We’re done and this time it’s no joke—“
“No, Myking no. You can’t leave me this way. I refuse to let you leave when I know I didn’t do shit with him.” Bianca pulled my arm trying to get me to face her.
“You’ve fucked up for the last time, B. I don’t play that million chance lottery game. I can’t deal with you still loving him.” I turned rushing for the door. “You can’t deny that you still do.”
“Myking, you aren’t going anywhere until you listen to me, until we talk about this,” Bianca pulled on my arm trying hard to get me to stay.
“Naw, you wanna be with that fuck boy then be with him.” Yanking my arm away, I stormed out the door texting fast as ever on my phone.
Me: Bro, where you at my nigga?
Tee: At the south side shop chatting it up with J. What up?
Me: Aye, hold that nigga there. Don’t let his ho ass leave. I’m on my way.
Tee: Bet.
Chapter 16
