I learned pretty fast I was free from the looks, but not from the pain.
It didn’t matter though. I found my cure.
It didn’t matter how many ibuprofens I downed; they didn’t touch the throbbing…or the storm that seemed to constantly be brewing inside me. The only thing that chased it all away was weed.
If I’m not high, I’m just…done. Empty. The only thing I feel anymore is pain, and the only thing that makes me not feel the pain is pot.
I smoke so I can feel alive again and not like I’m going to explode if I move the wrong way.
Sure, it pisses me off that the people I love most only see me as this stoner who’s always blowing everyone off, but I can’t give it up.
It’s the only thing that works.
With an irritated growl, I push myself up off the couch, trying to ignore the stabbing pain that’s traveling through my body. I grab my box and my lighter, heading outside so I can smoke in peace.
Stepping onto the patio, I pop open my metal tin and pull out a joint. I slide the sweet relief between my lips and flick the lighter, watching the end glow red as I inhale.
I puff a few times, getting the joint glowing like I like. When it’s lit enough, I close my eyes, finally taking a long toke and holding it in my lungs as long as possible.
Just like that, the pain isn’t so bad. My mind isn’t racing in circles.
When I open my eyes again, Drew’s stepping through my cloud of smoke.
She stops a foot away from me, arms crossed over her chest, tits pushed up. “I’m sorry if the music was too loud. I can turn it down.”
I ignore her and take another long hit, chasing the quiet I crave.
“Look, if we’re an inconvenience, we can leave. We’ve been surviving just fine without you. We’ll make do.”
“Not everything is about you, Drew.”
“Well, excuse me for assuming so, especially since you’re out here in this freezing weather.”
“It’s not even cold.”
“It’s fifty, and you live on the beach. It’s freezing.”
“Or you’re just a pussy.”
“Ugh.” She groans. “Can’t you just not be an ass for like five minutes?”
“Can’t you just leave me alone for five minutes? I’m giving you and your kid a place to stay. All I want to do is smoke in peace.”
“Whatever.” She turns toward the door I left open. “Look, not that I want to tell you what to do in your own house or anything, but I’d really appreciate if you didn’t do that around Riker.”
I hold the joint up. “I’m out here, aren’t I?”
She glowers and stalks back inside, making a scene out of closing the back door.
I lean against the railing, not letting her touch these fleeting moments of tranquility.
The overhead light in my bedroom is turned off, only the lamp illuminating the space.
From where I’m standing, I can see into the room through the slit in the curtains.
I can see Drew.
See her unbutton the jeans she’s wearing. See her stomach peek out of the stretch between her underwear and her shirt.
She pulls it over her head, moving out of my line of sight, but not before I spot the strap of a light blue bra.
Just like the light blue of the underwear I stole.
The pair still resting in my pocket.
I slide my hand inside my jeans, feeling the material slip through my fingers.
I was just screwing with her earlier when I took them. I would never sniff her underwear like some fucking pervert.
But I’m also in no hurry to give the sliver of fabric back to her.
I don’t know why. Just like I don’t know why she felt so good in my arms earlier.
I don’t know why I want to feel her in them again.
Giving myself a shake, I turn my back to the window and take another drag off the joint between my fingers.
Damn, this is some good weed.
Slice Three
Drew
What the…
I glance around the unfamiliar room, forgetting for a moment I had a lapse in sanity last night and agreed to let Winston have me and Riker stay with him while my car is getting fixed.
“Shit…my car. I need to schedule something.”
“I already did.”
“JESUS FUCK!” I yelp, leaping out of the bed.
Thankfully my mommy instincts are so ingrained in me now that I leap away from my sleeping baby.
“What the hell are you doing in here, Winston? And why are you naked?”
“Well, for starters, I’m not naked. I’m clearly wearing a towel. And I’m in here because this is my bedroom, in case you forgot, which means this”—he points to the adjacent bathroom—“is my bathroom.”
Well shit. He’s got me there.
“Do you have to shower while I’m sleeping?”
“Considering it’s after nine in the morning and I’ve been up since before the sunrise, yes.”
“It’s after nine?” My mouth drops open, my fingers reaching for my cell phone on the bedside table, checking to see if he’s just screwing with me or not.
He’s not.
“Holy shit.” I sit back on the bed, staring down at my still-sleeping angel. “I don’t remember the last time I slept this late. I’m usually woken up by Riker wanting food or screaming from my neighbors or something else obnoxious happening in the complex.”
Winston shrugs. “You’re welcome.”
“For?”
“Giving you a quiet place to sleep.”
“Thanks,” I mumble, annoyed I had to resort to sleeping over at Winston Daniels’ house to get a good night’s sleep.
I push up out of the bed, rummaging around in our bags to get our things ready for the day.
“He should probably wake up though. He started fussing before I got in the shower. Turns out the kid loves Slayer.”
I raise my brows. “You played him Slayer?”
“I sang it to him until he calmed down.”
“You sang Slayer to my baby?”
“Yes?” He says it as a question, pulling open the dresser drawer I’m standing next to. I try not to let my eyes trail down his naked chest, try not to watch the muscles in his body jump. “Is that not okay?”
“No, no, it’s fine. I just kind of wish I had it on video or something…for blackmail later. Proof that you do have a heart.”
“Oh, was the generosity of letting you stay here not enough?”
I sigh. “Are you going to do that the entire time we’re here? Throw my inability to pay my bills in my face? If so, you can shove your generosity straight up your ass.”
He turns toward me, and I realize then just how close we are, his chest nearly brushing against mine.
The way his body felt against mine last night lingers in my mind, and I want to step closer and farther away all at once.
But I stand my ground, not wanting to appear weak.
“I’m sorry.”
His words send a shockwave through me.
“Excuse me?”
He narrows his eyes. “You heard me, and I won’t repeat it. But you’re right. I shouldn’t be throwing it in your face. I won’t say anything again.”
He turns back to the dresser, and I miss his heat the moment he does.
“You said you wanted to repay me, right?”
“Anything. Name it.” I hold my hand up. “Wait—anything not sexual.”
His lips pull up at the corners. “Go shopping with me.”
“I already told you I don’t have any money.”
“It’s not for you, it’s for me. I need a new couch. That one out there is horrible.”
I wince but refuse to apologize.
Us staying here was his idea, not mine.
“I’d like to get a sectional or something bigger, get rid of that old recliner out there too. You game?”
“You game with toting around a three-month-old baby all day?”<
br />
“Wait, you’re telling me Riker can’t stay home and watch himself yet? What a little shitbag.” He rolls his eyes. “Yes, I’m obviously fine with him coming along.”
“Okay then. We’re in.”
“We can stop at Slice for breakfast if you want.”
“Like…us together…in public…at our place of employment?”
“I don’t love the idea of it either, but a free breakfast is a free breakfast, right?”
It’s a fair point. I don’t need to be wasting money eating out right now.
“Fine. We can go to Slice. We’re sitting in different booths though.”
He gives me a Don’t be dramatic look, grabs whatever it was he was searching for, and heads toward the bathroom but doesn’t shut the door, at least not all the way.
There’s a crack, just big enough for me to see through.
He drops his towel, and my heart goes right along with it.
I can see everything.
His muscled back.
His perfectly taut ass.
His cock when he turns toward the mirror.
My eyes trail back up his body, only to find him staring at me in the mirror, smirking.
Gulping, I don’t avert my gaze, trying to act like I don’t give a shit that Winston Daniels just caught me looking at his dick. His big dick, I might add.
I care.
I really care.
The last thing I want is for him to think I like him or something, especially when that’s not even kind of true. It’s just my stupid fucking hormones making me stare at his giant dong like I haven’t ever seen a penis before.
It has to be.
Because it surely has nothing to do with the fact that it’s him.
Without breaking eye contact, he reaches for the boxer briefs he has sitting on the counter, bending slightly to pull them on.
When he’s fully covered, I look away, and he finally shuts the door the rest of the way, laughing as he does so.
Asshole.
* * *
I slide Riker’s car seat into an empty booth at Slice, trying to avoid the curious stares from my coworkers.
We didn’t think this one through, us showing up together with my baby and my car still sitting in the parking lot at open. It looks like we spent the night together, and I guess technically we did, but not in the way I’m certain they’re assuming.
They’re all too pussy to come out and ask me, though.
“Did you two fuck last night?”
Well, except my best friend Wren. She doesn’t give any shits.
“Trade me spots,” she bosses at me. “I want to sit next to my son.”
I’m not about to argue with her, especially since all her son did the entire ride here was cry and scream.
She can sit next to him all she wants. I need a break.
Slipping from the booth, I realize too late the only place I can go is next to Winston…who I haven’t spoken to since this morning.
The ride here was short by mileage standards, but it felt hours long in the game of who can stay quiet the longest.
Riker definitely lost.
Winston grins up at me—that same obnoxious grin he’s been giving me since he caught me looking at him—as he scoots over…the minimum distance that can be considered reasonable.
Our arms rub together when I sit down and the hair on mine stands at attention. The denim of his jeans rubs against my black leggings and I can feel the heat radiating off him.
Or maybe that’s just me.
I’ve been burning up since we locked eyes in the bathroom and Winston caught me staring at his cock.
The throb I felt between my legs earlier returns, and as if he knows I’m thinking about this morning, Winston spreads his thighs wider, his leg now plastered against mine.
I pull at the collar of my shirt.
I see Winston smirk out of the corner of my eye.
Dick.
“Well, did you?” Wren asks, not looking at either of us, her attention focused on my baby.
I groan. “Don’t be gross. You know we didn’t.”
“That’s not what it looks like.”
“I know that, but we didn’t.”
“Her car broke down again,” Winston explains. “Did you know your best friend had no heat in her apartment when I went over there last night?”
Wren turns her stare to me. It’s calm. Too calm.
She’s pissed.
“Please tell me my idiot twin brother is just spouting off bullshit again and that’s not true.”
I don’t say anything.
“Drew Amanda Woods!”
“Your middle name is Amanda too?” Winston pipes in.
“No. Your sister is just insane and uses her middle name for mine because I refuse to tell her mine.”
“That embarrassing, huh?”
“I cannot fucking believe you, Drew!” Wren seethes, ignoring the side conversation Winston and I are having. “You’ve been living there without heat?”
“No. The electric company is a bag of dicks. They shut it off on me yesterday when I was at work after I arranged to pay the bill late. But, whatever. It’s not that cold outside, and they would have turned it back on for me. We would have been okay for a night or two with some extra blankets.”
“It’s cold for a baby!”
“He would have been fine. I’d have made sure,” I argue. “And I have space heaters I could have used. We’d have made it work until I got them to turn it back on.”
“Dude. No.” Wren frowns. “What if it drops ten degrees overnight? What then? The space heater isn’t going to touch that. You need help, with anything”—she stresses the word and I know she means money—“call me.”
“I get it, I’m a fuckup.”
“No, you’re just stubborn as hell. Why didn’t you say anything to any of us? We wouldn’t have judged.”
“I’m paying the bill next week. It was only temporary.”
“Temporary,” Wren repeats, shaking her head. “And staying with anyone else would have been only temporary too.”
“You know I don’t like asking for handouts,” I mutter, embarrassed.
“Well, you better get fucking used to it!” Her voice rises two octaves. “You’re not asking for you anymore—you’re asking for Riker. Stop being stubborn for him.”
She’s right. I know she’s right.
Which is why I accepted Winston’s offer to let us stay with him last night. He’s the last person on the face of the planet I’d want to stay with, but I’m doing it.
For Riker.
“I accepted Winston’s help,” I tell her.
Wren looks to Winston and I swear they have one of their weird twin moments or something, because Wren’s lips slowly tilt into a grin and she calms down.
“Look, I’m sorry, Drew. I just love you and Riker so much, and I don’t want you two to go without anything, especially not the basics like heat.”
“We’re okay, Wren. I had everything handled. If it was that bad, I would have said something.”
“Just don’t wait at all next time, okay? I’m here. Always.”
“I won’t,” I promise her.
“What are you doing about her car?” she asks Winston.
“Harvey Schwartz is picking it up this morning. He’s gonna try to fit it in whenever he can around his other work. I told him no rush on it.”
“No rush?” I interject. “There is definitely a rush. I can’t go without a car for an indefinite amount of time.”
“Yes, you can.”
I point to my son, who is now cradled in Wren’s arms. “No, I can’t.”
Winston slumps into the booth, scrubbing a hand over his face. “You’re staying with me as long as it takes. A week, a month, a year—I don’t care. Just shut the fuck up and accept it already.”
I gape at him because he can’t be serious.
“And yes, before you ask, I’m dead serious. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to pis
s and you’re in my way.”
I stare at him, genuinely confused about how he can sound so sincere and so irritated at the same time.
“Move,” he barks.
I jump at the sudden sound and scramble out of the booth, glaring at him as he brushes by me with a grunt.
“What is his deal?”
“Maybe it’s your stubbornness that’s irritating him,” Wren offers. “Or perhaps he’s realizing he’s going to have to somehow survive with your fine piece of ass sleeping in the other room for god knows how long. Can you say sexually frustrated?”
She smirks up at me. If she weren’t holding my baby, I’d slap the smirk right off her face for even suggesting that Winston could possibly be attracted to me and she knows it.
She’s using Riker as her shield.
“Remind me again why I’m friends with you?”
“My charming personality.”
“Nah, it’s definitely her ass.”
Foster, Wren’s fiancé, appears next to me.
“You’re right. I am insanely attracted to my best friend’s ass. Good call, Foster.”
“I knew it.” He grins, and I swear it makes him look ten times hotter when he does. It’s not that I’m into my friend’s guy, but it’s clear to anyone with eyes that Foster Marlett is hot. “What’s up with you and my best friend showing up here together this morning? Did you two fuck?”
I lied. Foster isn’t hot at all.
“That’s what I said!” Wren exclaims. “But they didn’t. Her car broke down and then Winston discovered she doesn’t have heat, so she’s staying with him.”
“You don’t have heat? What the shit? Why didn’t you call us?”
I groan. “I am not going over this again.”
“I said the same thing,” Wren whispers, putting Riker back into his car seat. “I got my head bit off.”
“You’re no longer holding my baby. I’d watch it, Wren.”
Poking her tongue out at me, she pulls herself out of the booth. “I’m not scared. Besides, you’d never hurt me. Then who would do your hair for you when you decide you want a change again?”
I Knead You Tonight Page 3
