I turn my head into his palm as he cups my cheek, loving the warmth of his rough hand.
“Don’t apologize to me, Drew. Never apologize to me.”
“I’m sorry.”
He laughs.
“Sorry,” I say again, realizing I just apologized for apologizing for apologizing.
“You’re so annoying,” he whispers teasingly.
“I think you secretly like it. And me.”
He smiles, and my eyes drop to his full lips. “Sometimes.”
“I think it’s more than sometimes. You push my buttons an awful lot…almost like you like me.”
He yanks me closer to him, our bodies flush against each other.
I groan at the contact. Not because it’s Winston, but because it’s been way too long since I’ve felt the touch of someone else.
Felt so…alive.
Our breaths are coming sharp, like we’re chasing something.
And maybe we are.
Each other.
“I don’t like you, Drew.” I watch his lips move, mouth dangerously close to mine. “I hate you.”
“I hate you too.”
And then his lips are on mine.
Slice Eight
Winston
For the first time in longer than I can remember, I’m not high and can feel something other than constant pain.
Not just in my dick, either.
Drew’s lips move beneath mine and I feel a moan hum through her before I hear it.
My hands tighten on her waist, and if I could pull her closer, I would.
But we’re already flush against one another and she’s writhing and rubbing against me like she hasn’t felt anything like this before.
I haven’t either.
Her hands inch up my chest, higher and higher until her fingers are curling into my hair. She pulls at the ends roughly, and now I’m the one moaning.
I grind my hips against her and trail my fingers over the exposed skin between her shirt and jeans, loving how soft she feels under my touch.
“You feel so soft,” I mutter between kisses. “And you taste like wintergreen gum.”
“Winston?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut the fuck up and keep kissing me.”
Laughing, I press my mouth to hers again.
She pushes against me, trying to find a way to get some relief for what’s building inside of her.
I feel it too.
Drew pulls at my shirt and I help her out, yanking the material over my head then bringing my lips back to hers.
Her eyes rake over me as she takes me in. I’m no stranger to stares from girls. I work fucking hard for the body I have.
But Drew’s gaze feels like it’s on a whole different level.
Her fingers crawl over the scar on my right shoulder where they had to surgically repair my rotator cuff.
The mark is thick, long. Ugly.
She grins up at me. “Is it weird that this kind of turns me on?”
I laugh, capturing her mouth as her hands roam over my chest, mapping every dip and ridge like she’s trying to memorize them. Down, down, down until her fingers reach the waistband of my jeans.
She plays with the edge, dragging her nails over my skin with just enough pressure that it’s making my cock throb.
Unsnapping the button with a flick of her wrist, she delves her hand inside, rubbing me over my boxer briefs.
“Fuuuuck.” I hiss at the touch.
She grips me tighter, and I grit my teeth, embarrassingly close to ruining this before it even really starts because it’s been too long since I’ve had a proper fuck.
I grab her hand. “Let’s slow down a minute.”
“I don’t want to slow down. I want to do this. I need this.”
This.
Not me.
Drew needs this.
Her words make me pause.
“What? What’s wrong?” she asks, pushing her body into mine. “Don’t stop now.”
I set my hands on her shoulders, holding her away. “Stop.”
“What is it?” She stares up at me with round, confused eyes. “Do you not want me?”
I laugh at her question, because it couldn’t be further from the truth.
Do I want her? Hell yes.
But does she want me?
No.
“Of course I want you, Drew. But you don’t want me.”
Her brows crumple together. “I just said I want this. If you’re worried about consent, you have it.”
“Are you not listening to yourself? You want this, not me. Let that sink in before we take this any further. Will you wake up tomorrow regretting this? Will you be able to look me in the eye after I make you scream my name? Will you be okay with this?”
I place my lips against hers and she opens for me almost instantly. I sweep my tongue into her mouth, taking my time savoring her because I’m almost certain this will be the last time I’ll get the chance tonight.
I pull away, ignoring the whimper that falls from her lips, trailing kisses up her cheek.
“If you aren’t one hundred percent sure you want to do this with me and not just because your body is craving a certain touch, walk away now.” I flick my tongue out, tasting the sensitive skin just below her ear. “Because if we do this, Drew, there’s no turning back, no pretending it didn’t happen.”
I pull away from her entirely, watching as her knees shake without me holding her up. Her chest rises and falls rapidly as she gulps air in.
She blinks once. Twice.
I watch as the realization of what we’re doing—or what we were almost doing—starts to fall into place.
I’m right.
Drew doesn’t want me. She just wants to be touched.
No matter how badly I want to touch her, I am a greedy man and know if I start, I’ll never want to stop.
And she’s not ready for that.
I’m putting an end to this for her, because I sure as shit ain’t doing it for me.
“I-I-I…” She clears her throat, lifting her chin. “You’re right. I think this would have been a mistake.”
“It would have been.” For you.
We don’t say anything for a long time. Just stand here, staring. Trying to gather the courage to leave the other.
It’s harder than I thought it would be to walk away.
“We, uh, should probably go to bed.”
I blow out a breath, nodding. “We should.”
“I…I’m gonna take a shower, if that’s okay?”
“Yeah. Of course. I’ll, just…um, I’ll go in after you.”
She nods, moving toward the bathroom. The door clicks shut, and the sound is so loud. So final.
The water is turned on almost instantly, and I exhale for what feels like the first time tonight.
I toss myself onto the bed, scrubbing my hands over my face, trying to figure out what just happened.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I just stopped a beautiful girl from having sex with me. Since when do I do shit like that? When did I start taking the high road? Have I gone completely fucking insane?
Okay, maybe not insane.
I don’t just like Drew.
I care about her, and not just a “It would really suck if you got hit by a car” kind of caring.
The real kind. The kind where I give a shit if she’s happy or sad or mad. The kind where I want to know her problems and ambitions and her past…want to know her.
And that’s my hang-up.
A fun fuck isn’t in the cards for us because I won’t be satisfied with just one night of moans and groans.
I’ll want tomorrow too. And the next day. Hell, even the one after that.
I want Drew. For good.
The bathroom door swings open and I sit up, watching the steam filter through the doorway around Drew’s figure.
My eyes travel up her legs—the very ones that could be wrapped around me right now if I hadn’t let stupid fucking feelings g
et in the way and mess shit up. The shorts she has on are so tiny I can barely see them poking out under the hem of the t-shirt she’s wearing…the one that’s clinging to her still-damp body so tightly it tells me she’s not wearing a bra. I can see her nipples protruding through the material.
She tucks her lip between her teeth, rubbing her legs together like it’s more than just my eyes trailing along her skin right now.
I wish it was more than just my eyes. So does my hard cock.
But…she’s not ready.
I push up from the bed, sliding past her and into the bathroom.
I slam the door closed, lean against it, and lock it. Not waiting another moment, I yank my jeans down and fist my cock.
“Fuck,” I mutter, because it doesn’t feel as good as Drew’s hand felt on me, but it’ll have to do.
I stroke myself hard. Fast. Unbridled.
There’s a thump on the door. Then I hear it.
Soft whimpers and the unmistakable sound of fingers moving through wetness.
Drew’s standing on the other side of the door.
Touching herself.
I squeeze my eyes shut, conjuring up what she must look like right now.
Back resting against the grain. Legs spread wide. Panties and shorts pulled to the side, too impatient to even take them off. Fingers flying over her clit as she chases the high.
I can hear her panting and the sound has me bucking my hips into my fist, stroking myself faster.
Tighter.
“Holy shit.”
I grunt, so close to release.
Cupping my balls, I pull on them to try to stave off my orgasm; I don’t want to finish alone.
I can still hear Drew rubbing herself, can still hear the sounds she’s making, her moans growing brasher.
She’s getting close too.
“Winston…”
It’s distinctive, my name leaving her lips.
I come apart, ropes of cum splattering into my hand, nearly spilling out the sides with how much there is.
It’s all because of Drew.
Gasping for air, I rest my head against the door, trying to get my legs to stop feeling like jelly and my heart rate to even out so I don’t collapse on my way to the shower.
Drew expels a heavy breath and pushes off the door, and I take it as my cue to finally move before she realizes the water isn’t running and we just got off together.
I crank the water to the highest heat I can get and kick my jeans off the rest of the way before diving under the steady stream.
I make quick work of scrubbing myself down and am stepping out of the shower within five minutes.
I towel off then wrap it around myself, slipping back into the bedroom.
Drew’s on the bed now, the blanket tucked up around her, all the way to her chin.
I want so badly to crawl into the bed behind her and wrap my arm around her.
Not to do anything sexual—though I wouldn’t be opposed—but just to lie next to her. To feel her body plastered against mine.
To be close to her.
Instead, I turn toward my dresser and pull out a pair of gym shorts, sliding them on under my towel, then toss it into the hamper in the corner of the room.
“Did you just skip undies?”
I glance over at her, smirking. “Were you just watching me change?”
She shrugs. “I was hoping you’d drop the towel.”
I laugh. “Someone’s still horny.”
“Well, if someone hadn’t turned me down, that wouldn’t be an issue.”
I open my mouth, but she cuts me off.
“I like that you were all chivalrous though. And thinking rationally, unlike me. Us sleeping together would have been a horrible idea, so I’m not mad.”
It wouldn’t have been that bad of an idea, I want to say.
But I don’t.
Snapping my mouth closed, I give her a half smile. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
“I’ve been trying but I can’t.”
“Well, you should try harder. Your gremlin will probably be up in a few hours for a feeding.”
Groaning, she rolls onto her back. “Don’t remind me of how little sleep I get, Winston. The bags under my eyes mean I am well aware.”
“I don’t mind your baggy eyes.”
She grins. “Thanks.”
I start for the living room, knowing I need to try to get some sleep myself if I want to get up for a sunrise walk on the beach.
“Where are you going?”
I point toward the other room. “Couch.”
“Don’t be stupid. Get in here.”
She doesn’t have to ask me twice.
I round the bed and crawl into the other side, making sure there’s still about a foot of distance between us. I’d rather not accidentally poke her with my morning wood.
Drew faces me, her eyes boring into mine.
“What?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing.”
“Nothing is never nothing,” I remind her.
“I-I th-th…”
Her voice breaks and a single tear rolls down her cheek. I don’t even think twice before reaching over and wiping it away.
“Quit fucking crying,” I say, but there’s no malice in my words. “You know I hate that shit.”
She chuckles, sniffling. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just…the crib. You have no idea how much it means to me, Winston.”
“It’s not a big deal, Drew. Certainly not anything to cry over.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. It’s a big deal to me. It’s a big deal to Riker.”
“Riker doesn’t even realize he’s not sleeping in a drawer.”
“Babies are smarter than you think,” she contends as I reluctantly drop my hand from her face, resting it between us. “I’m being serious here, Win. I didn’t have much growing up. I didn’t live a life of luxury. There were a lot of times where I only had peanut butter sandwiches for weeks at a time. I didn’t know my father, and my mother wasn’t exactly compassionate.” Her fingertips run over my open palm, tracing the lines on my hand. “I want to give Riker a better life than I had. I want him to know he’s loved. That crib…it’s proof. So, yeah, it does mean something to him, or at least it will when I tell him the story of it and how his best friend Winston got it for him.”
Anger floods through me. It’s a familiar feeling for me, but it’s not me I’m angry for.
It’s Drew.
Everybody deserves to know what it feels like to be loved.
Especially her.
“Sully is going to be pretty bummed that I’m Riker’s best friend and not him.”
She laughs. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”
“Deal.”
Her fingers lace with mine and I rub my thumb over the back of her hand. Her eyes trace my movements, and a small smile forms on her lips.
She moves her dark eyes to mine. “Thank you. Seriously.”
“You’re welcome. Seriously. Now go to sleep.”
“Good night, Winston.”
“Night, Drew.”
Slice Nine
Drew
“Son of a bitch!”
“Now, now, that’s no way to address your child.”
I glower back at Winston, who’s leaning against the doorframe of his bedroom. “Go away, Winston.”
“Haven’t we established by now that this is my house? I can be in any room I want at any time I want to be in it.”
“I pray you walk in next time I’m taking a shit.”
The corners of his lips twitch, but other than that, he shows no reaction to my words.
“Why all the cursing? You’ve been annoying me for the last two minutes with your stomping around and hollering. Two minutes is too long, especially when it comes to you.”
“Is that a line the ladies feed you often?” I smirk, and his eyes narrow. “I’m just having issues staying organized in here without some of my essentials. I’m used to a particu
lar system at home, and being here is throwing off my entire routine. I’m tired of living out of a damn bag, and you didn’t pack any good clothes for me. I look like a street rat whenever I’m not in uniform.”
“To be fair, you look like a street rat when you are in uniform too.”
I flip him the middle finger, and he pretends to catch it, shoving it into his back pocket.
“I’ll keep that promise for later.”
I disregard him and continue trying to sort through the mess that’s taking up most of Winston’s bed.
“I have an idea.”
I peek up at him again. “Oh. I didn’t realize you were still here.”
He shoves off the doorjamb. “What if you just moved in here?”
I blink at him.
Then fall into a fit of laughter because he can’t be serious.
“What’s so fucking funny?” he barks, brows slammed down, arms crossed over his chest.
Are his arms always that big? Does he always look that good in deep red?
“Your joke,” I say, pushing away the stupid thought. “That’s what’s funny. I can’t live here. Not with you.”
“Why not?”
“Because I have a baby.”
“You do? No way! Is that what I found sleeping in my dresser drawer?”
“Hardy-har,” I mock. “I’m being serious, Winston.”
“I’m being serious too, Drew. Just move in here with me.”
I watch him closely, waiting for the punchline, waiting to see how he’s going to rip the rug out from under my feet.
The punchline never comes.
He never rips the rug.
Winston is being one hundred percent serious right now.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why would you want us to move in with you?”
“Because you need a safe place to live. Riker needs you to have a safe place to live. You need heat, water, food—the essentials. Need someone with a reliable car to get you around when yours inevitably goes caput. You need stability. I can offer you all of that.”
I open my mouth to argue with him, but he holds his hand up, stopping every excuse I have at the ready from tumbling out of my mouth.
“Don’t argue. Just think about it. It’s a serious offer. You and Riker can stay here as long as you need to until you get back on your feet. Move all your stuff in here. It’s not a massive house or anything, but we can make it work for the time being. Besides, this car repair will most likely cost a pretty penny, and going back to your apartment and saddling yourself with all those bills and rent is just going to set you further and further behind.” He lifts a shoulder and backs out of the room, still staring at me. “Keep that in mind while you’re thinking about it.”
I Knead You Tonight Page 9
