“Grow up, Madison. We all have to make sacrifices and I’ve made more than my share for you. It’s your turn.”
“But I—”
“We are this close to having everything we’ve worked for.” My mother scowled, color mottling her perfect mask. “I’ll take care of the wedding planner. You go home and make this right. Get even. Get revenge. Have a string of lovers if that’s what it takes, but do not wreck this chance, because you won’t get another.”
I shook my head and left while I still could. Mother was wrong.
I deserved happiness and last night with Cole had proved that.
Chapter Nine
Cole
I threw down the newspaper I’d gotten with breakfast, compliments of the hotel. Bitterness stung at my throat and I rested my head against the studded leather seat, trying to ignore the photo of Thomas Langford smirking at me from above the fold.
I should be half-way to Wellsford by now. My mall development had been my single-minded focus for the last three years, yet I was intentionally missing a meeting with the head architect.
And what about Jess? Taking her out for dinner tonight was another thing I was supposed to do today. I stopped from reaching for my phone.
I could still make it. But I had to talk to Madison first.
Snatches of memory from last night tightened my balls in a fist of heat. At first, Madison had come across like delicate china. Pretty to look at, but fragile. Not so. She had been unrelenting when it came to her own pleasure; her rapturous gaze as my cock pushed into her, the porcelain perfection of her face flushed with lust, the wild abandon as she’d watched us come together in the mirror… Yeah, she’d known exactly what she wanted last night.
Me.
For once, I’d given up the reins of control and let down my defenses. And that was why I was here, right? Because remembering the proud, passionate woman who’d been in the bedroom last night…well, things didn’t stack up with the Madison who’d blown me off this morning.
So, after I had picked up my ego from the floor and finished congratulating myself on escaping another pampered rich bitch, I’d stopped short of checking out. Because I realized the expression on Madison’s face when she’d ordered me to go hadn’t been contempt. It’d been fear.
The more I thought about it, the more I became convinced something was off-kilter. Nobody visiting their mother for lunch should look like they were about to get teeth extracted with a rusty spoon.
No way was I leaving now. I had made a few calls and set up in the lobby, telling myself I just wanted to make sure Madison was all right. I knew what went on behind closed doors of the rich and powerful. I’d borne the brunt of it once and my sister would always carry the scars. They’d lured me in with promises of bettering myself, then made me a scape-goat so their names would remain unblemished. Nothing came free, and when my uncle had called in my marker, he’d made sure to bury me right back in the muck he’d pulled me from.
All so Thomas Langford could stay above the fold in the newspaper.
I glanced back to my cousin’s smarmy face and almost missed the swish of the automatic doors opening. Almost. I stiffened at the sound of high heels clicking across the tiles. I knew it was her.
She froze mid-step when she saw me sitting there and the breath slammed out of my lungs. I jumped to intercept her and she took off for the elevators.
She was running from me.
Fuck. I skidded to a halt beside her as she repeatedly jabbed the call button. I could feel her distress in the wild beat of her heart, her uneven breath.
“What happened?” Panic thudded in my own chest now.
“Nothing that concerns you. Please. Leave.”
It was the crack in her voice that made me all the more determined. Madison twisted away, but there was nowhere for her to go. I crossed my arms. I got that she didn’t want anything to do with me, but I wasn’t leaving until I knew she was okay.
“Someone’s upset you. Your mother?”
“I-I thought you had a meeting.” A hint of desperation crept into Madison’s voice and her eyes pleaded to be left alone.
Not likely. The elevator dinged but I couldn’t let her go. Not like this. I ignored her stiffening response as I touched her shoulder. It felt good to touch her again. To reassure myself she wasn’t hurt. I shifted my gaze from the temptation of her lips to her softening eyes.
“I do have a meeting, but I wanted to see you before I left,” I conceded.
The elevator opened at Madison’s back, but she didn’t move to get in.
“Why?”
I took a quick look around, then tugged her along the corridor to the alcove I’d slammed her into last night. Bracing my arm against the wall behind her, I caged her in. I hated the fact she instinctively flinched away when I went to smooth back a strand of her hair.
“I don’t like how we left this morning,” I murmured.
Silence stretched as she continued to watch me warily.
“Me either.” She gave in with a sigh.
Being this close played havoc with my senses. I cleared my throat, trying to find the words to explain why I’d put off the biggest project of my career for her.
“Last night was…something,” I admitted.
The stain on her cheeks deepened. “It was just one night,” she said.
I gritted my teeth. Whatever had happened over lunch had clearly shaken Madison. I should let her go.
Not an option. I knew before the thought formed that I wouldn’t walk away. Something was going on. And seeing Madison now reaffirmed every good reason why I should see her again.
I leaned in and the warmth of her sparked against my skin. “Does it have to be just one night?” I pressed.
“Yes.” The line of her throat convulsed up and down. She didn’t sound sure.
My heart thudded harder. “Why?”
I trailed fingers along the length of her jaw, knowing my touch moved her as much as her closeness did me. Her small sigh told me that. It wasn’t enough. I hungered for the heat of last night. For Madison to remember it as I did. Scorching. Passionate. Unfettered.
I pressed my hand above her heart. “The woman who brought me to my knees is still here. Wanting me.”
Madison shifted, subtly raising her chin until she met my stare. “She doesn’t exist,” she said. “I’m not who you think I am.”
“Bullshit.”
I nudged her deeper into the corner, rubbing circles into her shoulder with my thumb. I enjoyed the sharp thrill of victory when she didn’t move away. My groin tightened as her sweet, cinnamon scent drifted across my senses and I wanted nothing more than to bury her mouth under mine. Heat raced in a heartbeat, arcing through my veins as she leaned in, her hand fluttering to lay flat against my chest. I didn’t know whether she meant to push me away or pull me closer. Either way, I couldn’t let her go.
Until I saw the ring.
Air slammed from my lungs and I stumbled back, a sick feeling growing in my gut. No mistaking that monstrosity for anything other than it was.
“You’re engaged?” I barely had breath to force the words out. How the fuck had I missed that?
Then I remembered.
“I’m not who you think I am.”
That was what she’d just said. Only I had never believed it could mean this.
Still, Madison didn’t stop the act. She glanced down at the ring, as if suddenly realizing it sat on her finger.
“No!” Her wide-eyed gaze was pure award-winning Oscar.
She crossed her arms as if hiding the ring would make me forget the evidence sitting half an inch high on her finger. I shook my head, cold anger already icing over my heart, my mind…my libido.
“Sorry if I’m having issues with disbelief, but that is an engagement ring on your finger, isn’t it?” For one brief moment, I dared hope I was wrong. That she’d laugh and say no…
“Yes.”
My shoulder hit the wall. “Fuck.” The curse exploded f
rom a place of deep regret. “Well, you can’t get much clearer than that.” I straightened, brushing down my shirt. As if wiping it would remove the memory of her touch.
“It’s complicated.”
The hitch in her voice kept me in place a moment longer. I huffed out a sigh, hardly believing I was about to do this. I should have left for Wellsford hours ago.
“So. Uncomplicate it for me.”
Madison looked lost for a moment and as she opened her mouth to speak, I knew I wasn’t going to get the answer I wanted. Needed. Still, I hoped for something—anything—to redeem her.
“I was engaged. But not anymore.”
I sneered. “Yet you wear a ring. Why?”
She faltered and I almost gave in over her pained expression. Except I was determined to have the truth.
“Because I wanted my mother to think I was still engaged,” she muttered. She pulled the ring off her finger and jammed it in her bag.
Icy fingers wrapped around my heart. “So you’re just pretending? While some poor schmuck thinks you’re still in love with him?”
“Yes. No.” She hung her head. “He…he cheated on me.”
But I was past listening. Last night—that fucking, fantastic night when lights had exploded in my head—had been revenge?
I straightened, clenching my hands at my sides. “So, last night was about getting back at someone?” Anger exploded outward as the full impact of what she’d done crashed down on me. “Don’t you think I deserved to know before you made me a part of it?” The last, sweet thoughts I held of our night disintegrated under the depth of my disgust. At her. At myself.
It had just been a fuck. A hollow, pointless fuck.
The little color Madison had in her face, bled away.
“It wasn’t like that,” she whispered hoarsely.
Too late. I stood in front of her, feeling like the biggest asshole in the world. I’d missed my goddamned meeting for her. Last night had opened my mind to the possibility I might have been tarring too many people with the feathers of my uncle’s brush. That Madison was different. At least that was what I’d allowed myself to believe.
And the whole time, she’d been one step ahead.
Of course she had. She was rich. She didn’t care about anyone else. And she knew the game better than I ever could. I clenched my jaw so tight my teeth ached. I turned away, unable to look at the face of an angel, with the blackened heart of the devil.
“Save your lies for someone else,” I gritted out. “I don’t give a shit.”
Chapter Ten
Madison
Three days.
It had been three days since I had left Baltimore. Three days since I’d experienced the highs and gut-clenching lows of meeting Cole. Three days in which I had sat in my apartment, my mind numb, my body number.
When Cole had stormed off from the hotel, he’d taken something with him. That was what it felt like, anyway. That I’d been left with nothing. Less than nothing. Because in the hotel room with Cole that night, I had realized something was missing in my life. Truth. Genuineness. Call it what you like. It was intrinsic and real.
Ever since then, I’d wanted to stay in the stasis of my apartment forever. Unfortunately, even stasis had a way of moving things along. A fitting for an important charity event finally dragged me out of the apartment, and I joined in on a weekly engagement with some of my more privileged acquaintances. I’d had some vague idea that sitting in a restaurant eating miniscule portions at hair-raising prices would be better than sitting at home alone.
I should have known better. Glancing around the group of women I called friends, I realized I would never be the same.
Friends. To call them friends implied we cared for each another, yet truthfully, I didn’t know anything of them, beneath the surface of air kisses and gushing over their latest Vera Wang’s. To look too hard would be to acknowledge we weren’t the beautiful people everyone else wished they could be.
I’d never pull out the f-word.
Feelings.
I could never cry with any of them over a tub of rocky road in our onesies, or confide the truth of how I didn’t think I was good enough. No. I laughed and postured with virtual strangers, linked by name and status only.
Just like my fake engagement.
The ultimate lie.
I twisted the ring around my finger, feeling the burn of metal against my skin like a hypocrite’s brand. Self-loathing rose in a tide from the pit of my stomach until all I wanted to do was wrench the stupid thing off and hurl it across the restaurant. Except I couldn’t. That would involve telling my friends about my broken engagement.
What was I scared of?
Was it because deep down, despite my fantasy night with Cole, I knew there was a chance I’d go back to Logan? It would be so much easier. I was down to my last dollar and realization had hit that I’d squandered my life, using beauty instead of brains so I had nothing left to fall back on.
I held in a sigh, my broccolini and pumpkin seed salad sitting like lead in my belly. Logan might have used me for arm-candy and money, but I’d used him too. Oh, I’d wanted to believe we could fall in love—but in the end, we deserved everything we’d gotten from each other. And everything we hadn’t.
I’d used Cole too.
That was my bigger regret. Cole hadn’t been able to look at me when he’d left me by the elevators. Truth was, I’d walk away from myself too, if I could.
After the horrible lunch with my mother, seeing him in the lobby, it was like my heart had started beating again. All I’d wanted was to fit back into his arms and hold off reality a moment longer. And it’d felt good—oh, so good—when he’d backed me into the alcove and pressed his body against mine. So hot and hard and needy.
Until his bitter accusations had spelled out the truth. I was a fraud. I’d been a different Madison that night. Confident. Teasing. Willing to give as much as I got. Cole had lapped it up. Lapped me up. Never realizing the Madison I’d presented hadn’t been real.
Did a real Madison St. James even exist? Or was I just a reflection of what everyone else wanted me to be?
“Madison!”
I jumped as Noelle clicked her fingers in front of my face.
“Earth to Madison. I said I hear your mother has secured Del Arco for your wedding.”
“Is it true?” Candice directed a perfectly arched stare across the top of her glass.
I blinked and re-gathered my thoughts.
“Yes.” I confirmed the gossip.
Candice’s eyes tightened as she held my stare a moment longer.
“Oh. My. God. He’s the best planner ever.” Rebecca broke the moment, gushing into her crab and white truffle tortellini. “Mummy paid a fortune for him to do my sweet sixteen. Do you remember? I mean, seriously. The ice sculpture was to die for.”
“Ice sculpture? Forget the ice sculpture. Your lawn was an honest-to-God skating rink!” Noelle threw her hands up in mock disgust. Two parts mock. One part disgust.
Rebecca looked smug, and so she should. Her parents had paid good money for her party to be the topic of conversation six years later.
“So, what’s he going to do for your wedding?” Candice’s tone was cool as she turned my attention back to her.
I itched to tell them the truth about Logan. It clung to my skin like a polyester suit in the rain. Now was the time.
“I-I’m not…” I stumbled. Panic locked my throat tight. “That is…I’m not…”
Going to marry him. The words sounded so simple in my head, but I couldn’t force them past my lips.
I squeezed my fingers into a knot in my lap. “I’m not sure.” I trailed off lamely.
Rebecca tilted her head, her brow puckering. For a horrible moment, I thought she might ask what was wrong and the wall holding back my dam of emotions trembled.
“Is something going on we should know about?” Candice’s eyes gleamed hungrily, pulling me back from the edge. She would love nothing more th
an to see me get pushed off the social ladder.
Ten, nine, eight… I counted down to an expansive smile. “Yes. I am looking forward to seeing what Del Arco has in store for my wedding,” I said on the outgoing breath. “Mother will make certain it’s quite an event, I’m sure.” I took a sip of water to hide the waver in my voice.
And didn’t miss the disappointment flash across Candice’s face.
My phone interrupted the silence and I grabbed at it, even knowing who lay in wait at the other end.
“Mother.” I excused myself from the table with an apologetic pout to take refuge around the corner of the building. As soon as I was out of sight, I sagged against the brickwork.
“Madison. Have you reinstated your engagement to Logan yet?” No prelude or niceties. No hint of concession in my mother’s voice.
I gritted my teeth, my grip tightening on the phone. It’d only been three days since I’d seen her. And yes, I had given some thought to my relationship with Logan, but had decided I was in too vulnerable a place to make decisions about my future.
“You need to get on with it.” My mother took my silence as acknowledgement that I’d let her down. Her breath hissed in my ear. “I mean, for goodness sake. Do I have to take care of everything?”
“No.” The last thing I needed was Patricia St James coming to Wellsford to take care of things. “I’m going to see him. In fact, I’m…ah…on my way to his office now.”
“Good.” My mother warmed a little. “That gives us time to ensure things are smoothed over prior to the St. Mathews Hospital event.” She sighed at my continued silence. “You haven’t forgotten about it, have you? You and Logan must be picture perfect. The Governor will be there.”
I made a face. I hadn’t forgotten about the charity event. That was where I’d been earlier, with Noelle getting fitted with a designer gown for the auction. What had slipped My mind was the fact Logan was supposed to be partnering me.
“I’ll see him,” I said. Meaning it this time.
“Good girl.” My mother breathed an audible sigh of relief. “I knew I could rely on you to do the right thing.”
The Rebound (One Night Stand Series Book 2) Page 5
