He shook his head to remove the memory that flashed across his mind. Three years ago, he’d sat in this same office, struggling to come to grips with his pain. The funeral for Anna was over and he was faced with the reality that he was alone with his son because of his wife’s behavior.
“Are you all right?” Marnie asked.
“Funny how women can turn the world on its end.”
She came across the room and slid into the chair beside him. “Not just women do that,” she said gently.
“Meaning what?”
Marnie took a deep breath, her eyes searching his face. “Fifteen years ago I had an accident, a careless mistake on my part that resulted in two really difficult surgeries and months of rehabilitation. My dad warned me about my driving, but I didn’t listen.”
“What’s your point?”
“Francine told me about Anna, and how you wanted her to stay in Boston, to not try to drive home in the storm. How she didn’t listen and you blamed—”
“Damn! Does everyone have to weigh in on my life? This is none of your business.” He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to yell at her. “My life is not what we’re discussing here.”
She tilted her chin up in defiance. “She didn’t listen, in the same way that I didn’t listen. The same way so many people don’t listen to the advice of the people who love them.”
“So, what’s your point?’
“Did you ever consider that maybe Anna drove home in that storm because she couldn’t bear to be away from you and Ethan for another moment? That maybe it was her love for her family that made her do what she did? Not her disregard for your warning about the roads? Did you ever consider that until you forgive Anna, you won’t be able to love someone else?”
Her words stung. His breath stopped. “You don’t know anything about my relationship with Anna, and of course she wanted to get home. I wanted her home, but—”
“It’s about more than getting home. It’s that feeling that your day isn’t complete until you feel someone’s arms around you. That your life isn’t whole if you’re not with them. It means that sometimes we act irrationally. And sometimes we need forgiveness.”
Was she right? Was his unwillingness to forgive Anna standing in his way of him finding happiness with another woman? And if so, was Marnie asking for forgiveness for what she’d done? Was she waiting for him to forgive her, as well as Anna? He wasn’t sure about anything anymore. “It might be better for everyone if you went back to Boston.”
Her eyes shiny with tears, she got up slowly. “You want me to leave?”
“If what you say is true, I’m not ready for a relationship.”
Marnie smoothed her hair from her face, and touched the neck of her shirt nervously. “Luke, there’s something else I didn’t tell you.”
He sighed, bracing his hands against his desk. “Out with it.”
“One of the reasons Advantage wanted the survey done was to satisfy a potential buyer. It seems the purchaser wanted to know that there were no problems, either financial or operational. I assume that they’d seen the profit and loss statement for the inn, and wanted to have an outside party on-site to evaluate the facility.”
“So they’re selling The Mirabel,” he said, sadness and dread filling his heart.
“It would seem so, but since I’m not completing the survey, they’ll have to get someone else to do it.”
“Given what I know about them, they won’t waste any time.”
“Well, at least, they can’t do it while you have no vacancies.”
* * *
SOMEHOW MARNIE MANAGED to make it to her room and close the door before she lost it—tears streaming down her face, her chest hurting as she forced air into her lungs.
What a mess! She’d made Luke angry, and lost her chance with him. Now, she had to tell Scott what she’d done, she owed him that much. He answered on the first ring.
“Tell me you’re finished and you’re on the way home.”
“I’m coming home, but the survey isn’t finished.”
“What? Why not? You’ve been snowed in with nothing but time on your hands.”
“I can’t finish it.”
“Look, Marnie, we’ve been through all this. You don’t want to report on the inn because you have…feelings for the manager. I understand, but as long as he doesn’t know what you’re doing—”
“He does. I told him.”
She waited while Scott huffed and puffed about the need for the survey and his shrinking client list, but she couldn’t care less. Her life was in tatters, and she had nothing to look forward to except coming home and being part of Christmas, minus the Christmas spirit. Scott’s problems paled in the face of what she’d lost.
“Mom’s going to call you today. I couldn’t hold her off any longer.”
“Tell Mom I’m on my way, but tell her I’ve turned off my cell phone.”
“She won’t believe me. You never turn your cell phone off.”
“I will now.” With that she clicked the phone closed and began to toss her clothes into her bag, dumping the underwear out of the drawers and pulling her laundry bag from the bottom of the closet. Her cosmetics were next, and she was about to zip the bag when someone knocked on the door.
Her pulse slowed. Luke? She hurried to open the door. Mary Cunningham stood there with Ethan at her side. “He’s been asking for you.”
“Luke?”
Mary looked startled. “No. Ethan. He wants to play outside with you.”
She tried not to look at the sweet little face peering up at her. “But I…I can’t.”
Ethan reached up and took her hand. “I want you!” he demanded.
At least one of the Harrison men wanted her. And how could she possibly resist those eyes? “Okay, but I can’t play very long.”
He pulled on her hand. “Now!”
The kid was beginning to sound just like his father. “Okay, let me get my jacket and stuff on.” Ethan and Mary stood in the doorway while she got dressed.
“Are you leaving?” Mary asked, glancing around Marnie’s room.
“Yeah. I’ve got to get back to Boston this afternoon.” She couldn’t believe how close she’d come to spending Christmas here—a dream with no chance of coming true.
She glanced around the room, the tall windows with the white light coming in through the frosted panes. Her bright blue top she’d forgotten to pack draped over a chair. All the memories this room held for her… “Okay, big guy, let’s go.”
“Thanks,” Mary said, sighing. “Oh, by the way, Henry is waiting to go out with you. He’s down by the patio doors.”
“Would you like me to walk him?” Marnie asked.
“No, he’s been walked, and he won’t run away on you. He always stays with Ethan. You and Henry are best buddies, aren’t you?” Mary asked, patting Ethan on the shoulder.
“Henry loves me.” Ethan squared his shoulders, glancing from one woman to the other with a grin that would soften the meanest heart.
“I really appreciate this. We’re so busy today with getting the Christmas Getaway guests settled in for the evening activities.”
“It’s not a problem.”
She took Ethan’s hand and went downstairs with him, listening to his excited chatter about playing in the snow, and as she listened, all she could think about was that this was over for her. This was the last time she’d play outside with Ethan, or walk past the dining room, or greet the other staff members she’d gotten to know.
She really should say goodbye to Francine when she came back in from playing with Ethan. She liked her so much and would miss her, but not nearly as much as she would miss Luke and Ethan.
She blinked to keep from crying and made a big deal out of getting Ethan’s mitts on before she opened the patio doors. Henry barked in canine delight as he waited, his nose pressed to the glass of the door.
“There. We’re ready, aren’t we?” she asked the dog, rubbing his glossy coat.
&nb
sp; “Go!” Ethan pulled on the door handle in vain. “Out, please,” he said, turning his sorrowful look on Marnie.
“Okay, off we go,” she said with all the bravado she could muster.
Ethan squeezed past her through the door as he and Henry raced each other into the snow. Outside, the air was crisp and the wind swirled a plume of snow up past the windows of the inn. The lights on the fir tree by the corner of the patio glowed like sugarcoated jelly beans through the snow-covered branches. Someone had cleared the patio of snow, creating an outdoor playroom.
“My truck.” Ethan shuffled over to the huge yellow dump truck sticking out of the wall of snow. His arms flailing at the snow, he yelled over his shoulder. “Help me dig.”
Marnie knelt down beside him, and dug his truck out of the drift. As she watched the little boy playing with his truck, accompanied by his gleeful chatter about Santa, cookies and Christmas, she felt overwhelmed by a sense of loss. This would be the last time she played with Ethan, and she was so sorry to be leaving him. Forcing back her tears, she filled her mitts with snow and dumped them into the back of the truck.
* * *
UNABLE TO CONCENTRATE on his work, Luke was about to shut off his computer when the phone rang. When he answered, a voice boomed, “This is Simon Mandel.”
Luke didn’t recognize the name. “How can I help you?”
“I called to compliment a member of your staff.”
“Thank you, Mr. Mandel, we always appreciate hearing compliments about our staff.”
“I booked a ski package at your inn the other night. A woman name Marnie something made the reservation. Can’t remember her last name, but her first name stuck because I’d never heard it before. Anyway, she was so friendly and went out of her way to explain everything to me. I had planned to book with another inn and was just calling for a price comparison, but Marnie convinced me to book with you. That’s one smart lady you’ve got there, and I ought to know. I’m in retail and I don’t need to tell you how hard it is to hire good people who understand the customer’s need to feel appreciated.”
Remorse knotted Luke’s stomach. Marnie would never know how much this client appreciated her. A few hours ago, he would have searched her out, told her about what the man had said. But he’d made the decision that sent her packing, and now… Now, he wished he could tell her about the compliment, about how much he appreciated her helping them in a pinch, and doing such a good job for him. And she had done a good job, the other staff had corroborated that, but he hadn’t told her that, either. He’d let her leave here without ever acknowledging that she’d made a difference to the inn and to him. “I’ll be sure to tell her,” he lied.
“You do that, and you tell her I’m looking forward to meeting her in person in February.”
“I will,” he lied again.
He hung up, wishing he could take back what he’d said to Marnie. Part of the reason he’d accomplished nothing since she’d left his office was that he’d mulled over what she’d said, and despite the fact he was still angry, he had to admit that she was right. Anna would have wanted to get back home to him, to Ethan. Sure she should have waited for the storm to pass, but she loved them, and she would have wanted to be home to tuck Ethan into bed and then watch It’s a Wonderful Life with Luke as they’d planned to do.
As much as he resented Marnie’s words, she had made him face the anger he felt toward Anna. But once again, he’d been too proud to confront how he felt, so he’d taken it out on Marnie.
Had he used his grief to protect himself from ever caring for anyone again? Marnie wouldn’t have said the things she’d said, unless she had feelings for him. Why didn’t he just admit his mistake and bring her back?
There was no time to lose if he wanted this to be a special Christmas, one he would remember for the rest of his life. He prayed he wasn’t too late, that she was already gone…probably halfway home to Christmas with her family.
You didn’t even say goodbye to her, or wish her a merry Christmas.
Feeling like the biggest jerk ever he left his office in search of her. He got as far as the dining room when he heard Ethan crying. He strode quickly in the direction of the sound, his heart pounding with anxiety. At the hall leading to the patio, he saw his son clinging to Marnie’s neck, the tears staining her cheeks. As he approached, Henry slinked past him down the corridor.
Relief flooded through him at the sight of her standing there holding his son. Until this moment he’d had no idea how desperately he would’ve missed her if she’d gone back to Boston.
“No!” Ethan screamed louder, snow sliding off his snowsuit and creating puddles on the floor.
“Ethan, honey, please don’t cry, or I’ll be crying with you.” She untangled his arms from her neck and lifted his chin.
“Please stay,” he whimpered again, burying his face in her neck, his tiny shoulders shaking as he sobbed.
There was such gentleness in the way she held his son, the curve of her arm offering support to a little boy who obviously didn’t want Marnie to go.
Face it. You don’t want her to go, either.
Suddenly aware of him, Marnie lifted her head. “We were outside playing in the snow, but I have to get on the road, so I had to bring him in. I didn’t mean to make him cry, but he wanted me to come to the apartment and play Lego with him.”
His chest aching with loss of what might be if he could overcome his fears and reach out to this beautiful woman, he finally managed to find his voice. “He’s going to miss you.”
He took Ethan in his arms, the dampness of his son’s clothing penetrating the dress shirt he wore. He didn’t care. Nothing mattered except to soothe his son, and to find the words that would make this woman standing here so tentatively in front of him stay in his life.
“I’ll miss him, too, but that’s life, I guess.” She shrugged, her eyes brimming with emotion.
“You’re really good with kids.”
“Thanks,” she said weakly.
He rubbed his son’s shoulders, wanting to take Marnie in his arms and beg her to stay. “I was actually hoping you hadn’t left because I have something…a message to pass on to you.”
“Not my brother again!” She groaned.
“No, a Mr. Mandel, who called to compliment you on the way you handled his reservation.”
“He did? That’s great. I remember him. He sounded like a really nice man who wanted to take his entire family on a skiing vacation, and needed three rooms with two double beds in each. He also wanted the spa for après ski recovery. I gathered from what he said that his wife and he have taken up skiing to please his family more than anything. So, he was happy with what I put together for him.” She stopped. “I’m babbling! This is so embarrassing.”
“Maybe a bit,” he conceded. “However, he was filled with praise for how you handled his requests.”
“I should get him to talk to my brothers—proof that I can do something well,” she said, a sardonic look on her face.
“But you owned a successful salon, and that takes a heck of a lot of skill and hard work.”
“But that’s not how success is defined in the McLaughlan family.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I think your family are job snobs.”
“That’s an expression I’ve never heard before.” She looked straight at him, the corners of her mouth turned up in a quizzical smile.
“My word for the day, and it describes people who subscribe to the belief that unless you have a high-profile career and an Ivy League education, you’re not a success. I have a cousin who’s a job snob.”
Her rich, deep laugh made Ethan frown. “I’m hungry,” he announced.
“You’re always hungry,” Luke said, laughing with Marnie as he put Ethan down. “I suppose I’d better find him something to eat before he corners the pastry chef for more sweets. Would you like to come with me?”
An uneasy silence stretched between them as he searched for the words that would erase th
e memory of his earlier brusqueness.
She raised her eyes to his, her expression guarded. “I’ve got to go. Mary had asked me if I’d play with Ethan one last time.” She forced her gaze past him, her eyes glistening. “I couldn’t refuse, but now I have to get on the road. Thank you for having me here.” She focused her attention on the wall behind him as she brushed past him.
Luke felt as if he’d been punched in the stomach. She was walking away from him. He couldn’t let her go. He needed her there with him. “I want you to stay,” he blurted.
She stopped and stared up into his face. “I’d like that, but I’m not sure if it’s the right thing for either of us.”
His heart plummeted. He had to find the words that would change her mind. “Could you be a little more specific? I’m not good at this type of thing.”
“I need to know that if I stay it means you’re willing to see the potential in us. I’ve never felt like this before, but I also know that you’re still angry with your wife, and that means you’re not ready for a relationship.”
No… He’d been alone long enough. “But I am,” he said, his voice breaking.
She touched her fingers to his lips. “Don’t say that until you mean it. I need to be honest with you. I don’t want to start another doomed relationship. My record when it comes to relationships gets a failing grade, and that’s not likely to change with a man who still has issues. If this hurts you, I’m sorry, but I need a relationship based on honesty. And ours didn’t start out that way. I’ve told you the truth now, and I really believe you need to face your own truth. I can’t live in her shadow. If this is too much honesty, I’ll understand.”
Was his inability to let go of his anger at Anna the reason why he was still feeling so lost, as if he was living outside his life?
He had been angry at what Marnie had said about not being able to let go, but the anger had allowed him to see himself through someone else’s eyes. He didn’t want to be angry anymore. He wanted to love again, to know the thrill of being with someone who lit up his life. And if he let Marnie go, he’d never have the chance to find out if this woman, with her great laugh and her infinite ability to make him smile, to encourage him to face life, was the woman for him.
The Christmas Inn Page 17
