Guilt made her stomach pain and her head throb. She’d let her mother down by not doing what was expected of her. How easy, how completely automatic, it would be to utter the words that would appease her mother—to go home to her old bedroom at her parents’ house over Christmas, and get the requisite cashmere sweater and Guess bag.
How easy and how awful.
And it would continue to be that way for as long as she allowed it. If she didn’t take control of her own life, she’d soon be booking a room at her parents’ seniors residence so she could continue her daughterly duties. Visions of her and her parents playing cribbage or bridge or some other game popular with the retired set popped into her mind.
She might not be an athlete, and she hadn’t graduated from college, but she shouldn’t have to do her family’s bidding. She was a successful businesswoman who had earned the right to make her own decisions. “Mom, I won’t be home for Christmas,” she said.
“You what!” Her mother’s voice held a mixture of anger and disbelief.
“I’ve been away trying to figure out what I want to do with my life now that I’ve sold my business. And I think… No, I’ve found what I want to do.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” her mother said, indignantly. “Why don’t you wait and discuss it with the family when you get here?”
“Mom, what I do with my life has to be my decision.”
“Why are you acting so…so unlike yourself, honey? Why didn’t you postpone your decision to sell your business until we had a chance to talk it over with you?” she asked, her voice taking on that familiar tone suggesting that once again Marnie hadn’t quite reached the goal set for her.
“I’ve met someone.” Marnie swallowed against the flood of feelings engulfing her. She wished Luke was beside her, to offer support. But Luke didn’t know she loved him.
She closed her eyes, letting her feelings for Luke wash over her, a smile forming on her lips. “I’m in love for the first time in my life. Genuinely, truly in love with a man who has a little boy.”
Eleanor gasped. Marnie could picture her fingers flying to her throat, clutching her single strand of Mikimoto pearls, her look of shock as she peered over her half-glasses at Dad. “But, Marnie, how could this happen so fast? How do you know him? Where does he live? What does he do for a living?”
“Mom, slow down. His name is Luke, and he’s—”
“Why not bring him here for Christmas? The family needs to meet him.”
“He can’t come, because he runs an inn, and he has to be here for Christmas. And I want to be here with him and his son, whose name is Ethan. I’ve been staying at his inn, and there was a snowstorm, and I helped him out. His best friend and his wife had a baby during the storm.”
“What an emotional time for you, honey, but maybe that’s all this is. Simply an emotional reaction to the circumstances?” she asked, her voice warm and soothing, the implication clear. The only daughter of Mr. and Mrs. McLaughlan could not possibly be right about something they had no input on.
Her fingers tightened around the phone. “No, Mom. It’s not like that at all. I love him. Please understand. I’ve never felt like this.”
“Marnie, you know your father and I worry about you, and want you to be happy, but are you certain about this? I mean it’s so fast. You’re often so quick in your decision making, and sometimes it’s had a negative influence on your life.”
She wished her mother could behave differently toward her, just this once. She knew it wasn’t going to happen, and it made her very sad. She closed her eyes, steeling herself against her mother’s disappointment. “Mom, I won’t be there until probably the day after Christmas. I’ll call you.”
“By all means,” her mother said, her words stiff.
Marnie got off the phone, awash in sadness. Why did every important conversation with her mother leave her feeling inadequate? Why couldn’t her mother try to be happy for her?
Her cell phone danced in her hands causing Marnie’s heart to pound. This call was bound to be from her father, her mother’s trump card when it came to getting Marnie to do her bidding.
Instead, it was Scott. It had been a long time since she’d welcomed a call from him. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Marnie, I’ve got good news,” Scott said.
“Good news for you or for me?”
“For you. Advantage Corporation has decided not to go through with the survey after all.”
“Well, I have news for you, too. I decided not to turn in the results.”
“Really? Why?”
“Because it felt too much like spying on someone I care about. I couldn’t do it. I was going to tell you today.”
“That’s it? So, you’ve been sitting up there surrounded by luxury, enjoying a great vacation? Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“It’s a long story. Mom can fill you in on the details.”
“You’ve been holding out on me, haven’t you?”
“It doesn’t really matter. I won’t be home today.”
“Do Mom and Dad know?” Scott sounded shocked.
“Yes. I just got off the phone with Mom.”
“What did she say?”
“Oh, you know. The usual stuff.”
“Well, I guess there isn’t much more for me to say. One great thing came out of all this, though. Advantage wants me to make a proposal for their next major ad campaign.”
“Did they say any more about their plans for the Mirabel?” she asked.
“They’re on their way there now.”
“On Christmas Eve? You’ve got to be kidding. Who does business on Christmas Eve?”
“Welcome to a new world of decision making, my dear sister.”
“Does Luke know?”
“The manager? I assume so.”
Why hadn’t Luke said anything? What if he didn’t know? “I’ve got to go.”
“Wait! When will you be back in town?”
She couldn’t think about that now. She needed to get to Luke. “Soon, I hope. Talk to you later.”
“Merry Christmas, Marnie.”
“Yeah, you, too,” she said. It might not be a merry season for Luke, and she had to find him. “I’ve got to go.”
* * *
LUKE HAD TRIED TO WORK on his cost projections for next year, but his mind wouldn’t cooperate. All he could think about was Marnie, why she’d rushed off and hadn’t returned. He was pacing and worrying about her when the office phone rang. Relieved to have a distraction, he answered.
“It’s Angus McAndrew here. I need to speak with Luke Harrison.”
Oh…no. “Speaking.”
“We’ve been going over the financial reports you sent us, and we’d like to meet with you. I realize it’s the holiday season and all, but this can’t wait. We have a board of directors meeting the first week of January.”
Luke’s stomach tightened in anticipation of the board’s decision. “When would you like to meet?”
“We’re on our way up from Boston now, and we should be there in a couple of hours. I have my accountants and acquisitions people with me.”
“Are you planning to put the inn up for sale?”
“Yes, that will be part of the discussion.”
Anger toward this man who could be so uncaring not to see what he was doing to Luke’s life, not to mention the lives of all his staff, wiped all other thoughts from his mind. If there was even the slightest chance that he could convince McAndrew to let him make a counter offer, he’d do it. But he needed money to make a bid for the inn, and that meant finding a backer. “I’ll be here,” he said.
The conversation ended with the usual pleasantries, and he couldn’t wait to get off the phone. He twirled his steel pen in his fingers. He’d try his father first. He might know someone interested in financing the purchase.
His father’s cell phone went immediately to voice mail, and he left a message. As he hung up, someone knocked on the door. He rose to answer it. Ma
rnie stood there, her eyes wide. “Oh, Luke, something’s happened,” she said, a frown drawing her eyebrows together. She slid into his arms, hugging him close. Love swelled through his chest: love and need and want and all the emotions he’d ever felt for a woman, as he enfolded her in his arms.
“I just got off the phone with Scott. The people from Advantage Corporation are on their way here.”
“I know. They called here a few minutes ago.” He continued to hold her close, to soak in the feeling of her in his arms, a wave of yearning sweeping through him.
She rubbed his back as she nestled her body against his. “What did they say?”
“They’re coming to talk about the inn, about selling it.”
“No. Does that mean you still have a job?”
He tightened his arms around her, seeking reassurance. “I assume so, but it will ultimately be up to the purchaser, and they may bring in their own manager. Or Advantage might offer me a job at another one of their hotels.”
“Where would that be? I mean, would you have a chance at a job somewhere else around here?”
“They have a group of boutique hotels spread out all over the world. It could be anywhere they have a position they think I could fill,” he said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.
She gazed up at him, her eyes searching his. “Would you move?”
He shook his head. “I can’t leave here. My life is here. Ethan loves it here, and these people are my family.” He had no other family, none he could count on, at any rate.
“Maybe they’ll decide not to move you until they have a buyer.”
“That’s possible.”
“Is there another option? Anything else we might be able to do?”
He eased out of her arms, aware of the anxiety in her eyes, and wished he had another choice. “Unless you have a couple million or so dollars hidden away somewhere, there’s not much we can do. The owners will be here soon. They’ll look over the facility, probably offer me a position elsewhere, then leave and go home to their families for Christmas.”
“We have to come up with something.” She began pacing the room, her hands on her hips, her firm breasts pressing against the soft fabric of her white T-shirt. His body hardened. He wanted to make love to her. And not the slow and easy kind of loving, but the kind that left them both panting and wanting more.
“Marnie, stop pacing for a moment,” he said. “I have something to ask you.”
She stopped. “I’m listening.”
Determined not to let her duck the question this time, he took her hands in his. “The last time I saw you, you needed to do something before we could talk about us. Did you get it done?”
“I did.” She searched his face. “I talked to my mom, and I had an epiphany, you might say.”
“Don’t do this to me, woman.”
“I…” Her fingers wrestled with his. “This is probably not the time or the place, and you have so much on your mind right now.”
She was driving him crazy. “Out with it.”
She squeezed his fingers as a smile blossomed on her face. “I love you.”
He ran his hands up her arms, along her neck, savoring the feel of her skin beneath his fingers, anxiety circling his mind. “You love me?” he asked. “How can you be sure?”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
IT WAS DÉJÀ VU ALL over again.
A few minutes ago in her room with her mother as her only witness, she’d confessed to loving Luke Harrison. Then she’d traipsed down here expecting him to be overjoyed.
She’d expected him to say that he loved her, too. By the way he held her, by the look in his eyes, she believed he felt the same as she did, that they were meant to be together. She had imagined that Luke’s feelings for her ran as deep and as strong as hers did for him, but she’d confused lust for love.
That’s all this was really about.
If only she’d kept her big mouth shut. In her silly rush to tell him, she’d never entertained the possibility that he’d be less than thrilled with her confession.
She’d taken the stupid-in-love approach, and confessed her feelings to a man who obviously didn’t share them, and she’d been too intent on her dream to see what was right in front of her.
She was aging, growing old and desperate. She was desperate enough to think that a man as handsome as Luke might find an unemployed hairdresser with chipped nails and an overprotective family loveable.
Had she really expected him to say those three little words after only three days of knowing each other, during which their opportunities for intimacy had been thwarted by everything else going on?
Her cheeks glowed red. Tears of humiliation pricked beneath her lids. She turned away, feigning interest in an impressionist painting of water and trees on his office wall. Messed up water and trees, messed up like her.
Concentrate on the gentle scene in the painting. Take a deep breath. Get your act together and figure out how to get out of this room without making another blunder.
“Marnie, look at me.”
She had no intention of facing him. She had her pride to consider. “I have to get back to my room.”
He turned her around and slowly tilted her face up to his. “You can go to your room after I’m done.”
Not “I’m sorry.” Not one whisper about love, about anything remotely related to an intimate relationship. Just a direct order—like she was a member of his staff.
She wasn’t going to let him boss her around. Not a chance. She raised her eyes and stared directly into his.
Would she never learn? Her mother and her family were right. Her impulsive behavior had resulted in regret, again.
She gently disentangled herself from him. She needed to get away. Away from the humiliation of believing in something that would never be. “I’ve got to pack.”
“Is this your answer? To run away whenever you’re faced with real feelings?” he demanded, leaping past her and blocking the door.
“Please don’t pretend to care, and don’t worry about my bill. As you said yourself, you have Scott’s credit card.”
“What’s gotten into you?”
She didn’t answer him, nor did she look him in the eye. She seemed to be studying the front of his shirt.
“Marnie, do you have any idea what your words mean to me?”
Her gaze slowly moved up his shirtfront. “My words were a mistake. Forget I said them.” She moved to one side, making it plain she planned to escape past him.
He stepped in front of her. “Not so fast. You haven’t answered my question.”
“Your question. I make a complete fool of myself and you’re worried about me not answering your question.” She snorted, and this time her eyes locked on his.
Her beautiful green eyes, luminous with suspicion, searched his, as passion welled up in his heart, shattering his reserve. He struggled to find his voice, his heart drumming in his chest. His brain wouldn’t function; he couldn’t find the words to say what he so desperately needed to say.
His hands holding her arms began to tremble. He cleared his throat. “Marnie, I love you. That’s why I was so surprised when you said it. And yes, I’m sure I sounded like I didn’t believe you or didn’t feel the same way, and I’m sorry if what I said hurt you.”
Her eyes closed, and two small rivulets of tears trickled slowly from beneath her lids, meandering down her cheeks. But it was her sigh, so filled with longing and raw emotion, that was his undoing. He pulled her against him, holding her chin in his eager fingers, his lips moving over hers. His mouth brushed hers, hesitating on the sensitive skin at corner of her mouth, eliciting her sudden intake of breath. He took her head in his hands and kissed her lips, the heat of her body fanning the fire already threatening to burn out of control.
She returned his kiss, her body seeking his, pressing into his erection and forcing a groan of pleasure from him. He trailed his lips along her jaw toward her ear, relishing in the soft tenderness of her skin. His han
ds cupping her head, he eased her face back, tilting it up so that he could look straight into her eyes. “Marnie, I love you. I loved you the moment I met you on the front step. I didn’t recognize it as love because I was too wrapped up in my own selfish concerns to acknowledge my feelings, which shows you just how dumb I can be. But from the first—that instant I saw you—you’ve been all I can think about.”
Again her incredible green eyes searched his, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I was so sure you didn’t like me. You were kind of rude, you know.”
“Why do you think I delivered your dinner that night?”
“I don’t know—all that was going through my mind was that you’d see my pink bustier.”
He laughed in a way he hadn’t laughed for a very long time.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
He inhaled her scent, clinging to the moment, wishing they could stay like this forever. “You know those yellow shoes caught my attention first, but you really had me going with that pink bustier. You wouldn’t be wearing it now, by any chance, would you?”
“Sorry to disappoint, but today’s offering is a standard C-cup utility model.”
“I’ll take whatever you’re offering.” Giving in to the happiness her smiling face held for him, he kissed her mouth again, lingering, alive in the moment. He was no longer alone, but held in his arms the one person he’d found who could relight his life.
She sighed deeply and her body arched to conform to his. “I meant it when I said I love you. But standing here like this is driving me crazy. Could we take this somewhere? Maybe my attic abode?”
“We can take it anywhere you want,” he said, his arms circling her waist, happiness bubbling through him. He kissed her again and again, wanting more of her with each taste.
A gentle tap on the door startled both of them. “Are we doomed never to have a moment alone?” he moaned as he moved her away from the door, keeping her body as close to his as possible. “Who is it?”
“It’s Amanda. I’m sorry, but I need to speak to you. It’s urgent.”
Marnie took a seat in the guest chair near his desk while Luke opened the door. He threw her a knowing glance. “Come in.”
The Christmas Inn Page 19
