He looked at Lisa as she sat down in one of the cosy-looking armchairs in the hotel foyer. A wave of unease washed over him as he noticed she was still pale beneath the heavy make-up she nearly always wore. It was her armour, her wall to hide behind. He knew that much at least, although not why. In fact he knew very little about her past. Nothing else had mattered at first because he’d seen the real Lisa, had loved the real Lisa—at least physically.
Then he’d broken her heart because his past meant he couldn’t open his heart to hers. He couldn’t let himself love her. It was an emotion he wasn’t capable of. His father’s sudden abandonment had seen to that, not that he’d been around much before he’d walked out for good. Max had never known where he went for weeks at a time, but now, finally, he did. He’d gone to his other family, to his legitimate son and legal wife—leaving his mistress and his illegitimate son behind.
A stab of hurt pierced into him. He had been nothing more than a bad secret to be swept out of sight. A child to be avoided, forgotten, not loved and finally knowing why only intensified the pain. The shadows cast by his past reached far into the future, destroying everything. If he hadn’t been able to love Lisa, how could he love his child?
Hell, he really didn’t need this guilt now. Not on top of recent revelations and now today’s headlines, which played to the one thing he hated—being illegitimate. The bastard child of the man who’d broken his mother’s heart and wrecked their lives without so much as an apology and definitely never an explanation. He’d walked out one night and never come back. Max had tried to console his mother, but, at eight, that had been a tall order and yet another failure as far as he was concerned.
Now he had to face that man’s legitimate son. The son he must have really wanted. His true heir. His half-brother, Raul, had only said that as part of his will his father had wanted him found and brought into the family business. So what was this all about? His father’s pathetic attempts to make peace?
He moved away from Lisa and all the complications, wanting to get this meeting under way. He paused outside the restaurant, took a deep breath and then opened the doors and walked in. It was empty of anyone except a couple who were locked in a heated debate. They were lovers, of that there wasn’t any doubt, lovers who hated and loved with equal passion. Neither was he in any doubt that he was looking at his brother.
For a moment Max waivered. If he couldn’t do emotions, could he be any kind of brother? Savagely he pushed the thought aside. He’d do this to show his father he wasn’t completely cast from the same mould as him.
* * *
Lisa’s nerves were so taut she could hardly sit still, the events of the day, which had unfolded at breakneck speed, only adding to her nausea. Raised voices had come from the room and the hasty retreat of another woman had made her more anxious. It had all gone quiet now. Too quiet.
‘How did it go?’ She jumped up from her chair as Max pushed open the door. From the look on his face she already knew the answer to that. She also had so many more questions to ask, not least who was the woman who’d fled the room, almost in tears. What had happened in there?
‘As well as such a meeting can go.’ He fired the words back at her, his jaw firm and hard, and a tremor of fear slithered down her spine.
‘That’s it?’ Lisa could see the defensive wall being built around him. He was shutting her out, keeping her away from him, from his emotions, just as he always did. Her heart softened. She’d picked the wrong day to tell Max he was going to be a father.
‘For now, yes,’ he said, but from the frown on his face, the tight set of his jaw, she knew things were far from right.
‘Will you see him again?’
Finally, Max looked at her properly, as if he’d buried all the hurt that must have come from meeting a brother he’d never met. ‘I will, yes. We have agreed not to let the past cloud the future. In light of the press headlines we will present a united front, but now it’s over I can deal with other problems.’
That fear turned to ice, draining any warmth from her body. Was she just another problem to be briefly addressed then pushed aside to be forgotten? ‘What other problems?’
‘Don’t play the innocent with me, Lisa. You know as well as I do that your news this morning is a problem.’
Was he blaming her? The accusation in his dark eyes and laced into every word certainly made it feel like that. Anger fired through her, its heat chasing away the chill of fear. ‘One you no longer need to worry about.’ Sickness filled her stomach, but she remained strong as she turned to walk away from him, in disbelief as he said nothing to stop her. He thought that little of her and the baby he was letting her simply walk away. She bit down the cocktail of anger and disappointment and continued walking, each step almost killing her.
Max caught up with her and took hold of her arm, bringing her to an abrupt stop. ‘Where the hell are you going?’
She whirled round to face him, freeing herself from his grasp. ‘As far away from you as possible.’
He looked at her, a frown of worry creasing his brow. ‘That will not be possible. You are coming home with me.’
Lisa looked at him with total shock. ‘I am not going home with you.’
‘We agreed.’ His lips pressed into a firm line, but she was too angry, too irrational to care what he thought.
‘You agreed and you can’t make me.’ She knew she sounded emotionally unstable, but she couldn’t help it, not when her body was full of pregnancy hormones, which flung her from highs to lows in just a few seconds. Or was that Max? Was he the one turning everything on its head?
‘You are coming home with me. You are my wife.’ The feral growl of his voice served only to spike her mutinous anger even higher.
‘Only when it suits you, it seems.’
‘Don’t challenge me now, Lisa. You have just told me you are expecting my child. And that changes everything. We are married and will remain married—living under the same roof.’
Like an angry lion he stood and almost snarled out his demands and instantly she became the defensive woman she’d grown up to be. The need to fight her corner, to stand up for herself and be heard, dominated all her thoughts and she lashed out verbally.
‘You might have watched your father walk away but I will not allow that to happen to my child, not when I know what it’s like to be despised by my own father and then stepfathers.’ She hadn’t meant to let the past creep out, but as he took a step toward her, towering over her, she stood steadfast, refusing to be dominated. Ever. Not by anyone, least of all the man she’d married.
‘I’m not the only one with a past to hide, or hide behind, am I, Lisa?’
‘No, you’re not,’ she raged against him and the past she’d been trying to escape all her life. She’d thought marrying Max had finally meant that she could put all that behind her, that she could finally settle and make a home, but how wrong she’d been. The situation she had been plunged into meant she had to face that head-on. ‘But I’m not the one still running.’
The barb, laced with recrimination, hit its mark. His eyes glittered with anger but she matched his with her own. Being brought up on the wrong side of town had made her always ready to leap to her defence with anger. She didn’t need him—or any man. She was more than able to look after herself and now she would do the same for her baby, just as her mother had had to do. But with one difference. She would not be inflicting a constant stream of father figures on her son or daughter. She’d rather do this alone than risk that.
‘You think coming here today, meeting a brother I never knew I had, is running away? You think saying we will remain married—living together for the sake of our child—is running away?’ He moved closer to her, his intoxicating presence making her head swim, increasing the nausea, but she remained, tall and strong.
‘It is not a physical presence that counts. It’s more than that and it’s something you have already proved you are unable to do when you walked out on our marriage. I’m no
t going anywhere with you.’
As the words flew like accusing bullets from her lips the nausea took over, weakening her body. The luxury of the hotel foyer blurred and the last thing she could focus on was the Christmas tree, resplendent in gold, its lights twinkling like a thousand stars. She couldn’t hold on any longer and slipped into the bliss of soft darkness and the sanctuary it offered.
* * *
‘Lisa.’ She heard Max say her name and smiled weakly. She’d always loved the way his accent lengthened her name, made it sound so exotic and sensual, but this time there was a hint of panic.
In the depths of darkness, she was aware of her body beginning to fall but before she reached the floor Max’s arms were around her, his strong and muscled chest now a cushion for her head. She leaned against him, finally finding the will to fight the blackness as she inhaled the scent of the man she loved. The only man she would ever love. A man, by his own admission, incapable of love.
That last thought lingered in her mind like the frost that had covered the ground this morning; its chill revived her mind, her body, bringing everything once more into stinging focus.
‘I’m okay.’ She pushed against him, but his arms held her tightly. Weariness and confusion muddled her mind.
‘Is she all right?’ Another male voice, one as strong and commanding as Max’s, forced her to open her eyes.
She looked into a handsome face, one so familiar to that of the man whose strong arms now carried her to the chair she’d been sitting in only a short time ago. His brother. Her mind processed the information slowly but she knew that there could never be any doubt about that fact.
‘This is my wife, Lisa.’ She looked up at Max as his arms slipped from her, allowing her to sit in the chair again, but he stayed, crouched low, at her side, lines of anger on his face, and she wished he could look as concerned for her as his brother did. ‘Pregnancy is not agreeing with her.’
Not agreeing with her. How very dared he? He was the one who found this pregnancy disagreeable.
‘You should take her home. Call the doctor.’ The dominating male voice of Max’s brother spoke again and she looked up at him, standing over them like a demon.
‘That is precisely what I intend to do.’ Max stood up, matching his brother’s height, and Lisa watched as a silent challenge passed between them, spiking the air with tension. ‘I suggest you leave me to my wife and deal with your own issues.’
‘My issues?’ Even his voice was similar to Max’s. The same strength, the same determination. The same icy control.
‘She was crying,’ Lisa said without thinking, knowing they were referring to the woman who’d fled the restaurant earlier, and both men looked down at her. ‘One of you must have said something terrible because she couldn’t get out of here fast enough.’
Max looked at his brother. ‘As I was saying.’
Raul looked first at her then back to Max. ‘I will call you later, to see how your wife is.’
A little flicker of hope leapt to life inside Lisa. Did this mean Max and his brother were to begin building a relationship? Would it prove to Max he did deserve to be loved? It might be enough to bring back the man she’d married, the man who hadn’t been afraid to feel her love even if he’d been unable to show any in return. She’d hoped it would be just a case of needing time, but time had only closed him off from her. It had built an impenetrable wall around his heart and locked her out.
‘I’m fine now,’ she said, and looked into his dark eyes, so like Max’s.
Without another word to her or Max his brother turned and strode from the hotel; the sound of London traffic rushed in briefly as the doors opened. Then he was gone and she looked up at Max and knew that the meeting with his brother had changed him, but, from the expression on his face, it wasn’t the change she’d briefly hoped for. He was colder and far more distant than ever before.
* * *
Max watched his brother walk away. He had looked him in the eye, had assessed him and known without a doubt that his brother was as commanding as he prided himself on being. Raul Valdez possessed the same kind of character, the same depth of determination. The similarities already went much deeper than their physical likeness, of that there was no doubt.
He pushed the jumble of emotions to one side and pulled out his phone and dialled, still unable to believe he’d been told what he should do by the brother he’d only just met. He did, however, agree with him. Memories of his mother and all she’d been through while pregnant with his little half-sister, Angelina, rushed at him. Lisa would see a doctor, his doctor, and then he intended to take her to his home in the suburbs of London, even if that meant dragging her kicking and screaming.
The call connected. ‘I’d like to make an appointment for my wife, who is eight weeks pregnant and feeling unwell.’
He saw the confusion and shock on Lisa’s face as she registered what he was doing, but right now he didn’t care what she thought. All he wanted to do was ensure she was well, that the symptoms were nothing more than to be expected in the early stages of pregnancy.
The very word, pregnancy, struck through him like a sword of fear, reminding him he would be responsible for another human being for evermore, that he would have to somehow find a way past the hurt his father had inflicted on him and connect with that child. But would it be enough? Would his child grow up resenting him as he had his father?
‘I don’t need to see anyone,’ Lisa protested as an appointment time was given to him for later that afternoon.
He ended the call. ‘You will see a doctor this afternoon for a scan and that is not negotiable.’
‘Why are you doing this?’ Lisa looked at him, sparks of anger in her eyes. ‘What are you trying to prove and to who?’
‘I have nothing to prove, other than to you, it seems. You are my wife, Lisa, and now you are carrying my child so we shall live together once more. We crossed the boundary of professionalism and must now deal with the consequences.’
He watched as a myriad emotions danced across her face, sending a stab of guilt through him, but this wasn’t about the two of them any more, this was about a new life—his child.
‘I can’t do that, Max, not after you walked out on me. What happens when you feel the same again? Am I to stand by and watch you hurt our child? You of all people should understand that.’
The pleading in her voice only increased the fury that erupted like a volcano around him. Was she saying he wasn’t capable of being a father? He bit down hard on the bitter taste of the truth, knowing that was exactly what he himself had thought. There was no way he would allow Lisa to know his uncertainties.
‘We should have thought about that before spending a night together.’ He was angry at her, at himself. ‘But fate has seen fit to bring us together once more and this time it will not be so easy for either of us to walk away, not when our child needs us—both of us.’
If only his father had had those thoughts before he’d indulged in the affair with his mother, before he’d sired two sons within months. If only wouldn’t help and he was damn sure he wouldn’t be like his father. Whatever it took, he would be there for his child and right now that meant taking Lisa to see a doctor and reassuring himself that she and the baby were well.
‘Why don’t I believe you?’ Her voice had softened and he sensed she was giving in.
‘Whatever happened in our past has to be put aside, Lisa, for our child’s sake.’ He lowered his voice and moved a little closer to her, pleased she was no longer standing rigid as if preparing for battle. If anything she looked as if she wanted to be kissed, to be reminded of the passion that had brought them together so spectacularly in the first place.
‘But can you really do that for a child you so obviously don’t want? Can you rise to the challenge of fatherhood?’ She looked up at him and her eyes glittered, not with the anger of earlier, but if he wasn’t mistaken with unshed tears.
‘I am not going to deny that it will be a challenge
, that it is the one thing I never wanted,’ he began, choosing his words carefully, just as she had. Using the word challenge had been strategic to say the least and now he would take on that challenge. ‘But I will be there for my child, Lisa.’
‘And what about me, our marriage? Us?’ He refused to be slain by the guilt her words propelled at him and instead reached out to push her hair back from her face, allowing the backs of his fingers to brush down her cheek. Her lashes fluttered and very briefly her eyes closed. Then the moment was gone. The in-control Lisa was back in play. ‘There is no us.’
‘Once there was and there will be again, for our child’s sake. We should spend Christmas together.’ He looked into her eyes as he spoke, recalling all the plans they’d made during their first Christmas as a married couple when they had been on honeymoon in the sunshine. He’d learnt his new bride longed for a traditional Christmas in a cottage complete with log fires, but he’d never envisaged spending their next Christmas like this.
She stepped back from him and his touch, determination in her eyes. ‘I will give you until New Year’s Eve, by which time I am sure you will be asking, no, demanding that I leave—and I will.’
There was fierceness in her voice, but it matched the strength that ran through him. She’d laid down the gauntlet, challenged him to be the one thing he’d never wanted to be. Was she pushing him, using tactics to force him to look his past in the eye and own it?
‘New Year’s Eve?’
‘Yes,’ she said firmly.
‘Very well, we have a deal. We will remain man and wife—until New Year’s Eve.’
CHAPTER FOUR
FOR THE LAST two days Lisa had followed the doctor’s advice and had rested. She’d given into Max’s demands and stayed at his apartment, the one they’d lived in as a married couple, which played more than she cared to admit on her nerves. Max had veered from being tense, more like an animal confined to a cage it didn’t want to be in, to showing concern for her. Today, with just two more days until Christmas Eve, Lisa was beginning to regret agreeing to stay until New Year’s Eve. It seemed so far away.
Martinez's Pregnant Wife Page 4
