Too shaken to go back into the funeral parlour to say goodbye to Aunt Jan, she had spotted Lisette standing by herself near the doorway and had steered her outside towards the bus stop.
“No problem, Papi. I’ll understand if Uncle Denis doesn’t come. But I hope that won’t stop you from showing up. You’ll just love Lisette. She might be a little blunt at times, but her heart is in the right place.” She didn’t expect Uncle Denis to show up. But she’d be as polite and as pleasant as it took for Aunt Jan’s sake if he did decide to come.
“You can count on us being there. Looking forward to meeting her.”
Uncle Denis hadn’t been wrong about that release form. She had left it on her desk at home after opening her mail. With the flurry of having Lisette with her, she hadn’t gotten around to taking care of it. She’d have to search through her paperwork, sign it and mail it back right away. Anything to make Aunt Jan’s life a little easier. She wanted no part of that inheritance. It felt too much like guilt money. Why else would he make her the sole beneficiary of his bank account? She didn’t blame his two sons for appealing the will—they were the rightful beneficiaries, not her. If refusing the inheritance meant she’d be free to visit Aunt Jan, it was well worth it.
Nadine walked out of her office with a light step. How could she have survived all those years without the support of the people she loved? Now that she had them back, she’d never let anything come between them again. Let Uncle Denis and Uncle Peter grab hold of all the money they wanted; she had her family now.
The acrid odour of scorched meat hit her when she opened the door to her building. She hurried up the stairs. No smoke, but the smell was stronger as she approached the door to her apartment. She fumbled in her bag for her keys and had just grabbed them when the door flew open.
Lisette stood in the doorway holding a plastic garbage bag in her hand, a stunned look on her face. “Didn’t expect you home so soon.”
“What’s that smell?” Nadine pushed past her.
“This is kind of embarrassing. I thought I’d cook supper.” She glanced down at her bag. “But now I’ve got to run it down to the outside garbage can.”
Nadine rushed into the kitchen. Peaches meowed from her perch on top of the refrigerator—her escape whenever something disturbed her. A roasting pan with blackened potatoes stuck to the bottom sat in the sink. She filled it with water and threw open the back door to let out the smell. She was sliding the windows open in the living room open when Lisette walked back in. “The whole building smells of my cooking.”
“What happened? Did you fall asleep with the oven on?”
“I forgot to set the timer.” She raised both palms in the air. “I was so busy clearing your desk, I forgot to check on the roast. Then I remembered to change the cat litter. I left the door ajar when I brought the old litter down to the garbage…. What’s that look for? I only stepped out for a minute and when I came back upstairs I saw Peaches fly by me. I chased him all the way downstairs. Good thing the outside door is always kept closed. I tried to grab him a few times, but he’d take off as soon as I got near him. I finally cornered him in the laundry room and when I got back, the fire alarm went off. By the time I’d switched off the oven, shoved the burnt roast in a garbage bag, and shut off the alarm, you appeared.” She flopped down at the dining room table. “Don’t worry. I’ll replace the meat tomorrow.”
“No need.” Nadine reached up to pull the cat off the top of the refrigerator and carried him back to the table with her. “These things happen.”
Although a little put out about ruining the meal, Lisette didn’t show any sign she was still upset about their conversation about Grandpa Pritchart. Nadine had expected her to be moody and bitter, and had resigned herself to being forever blamed for all her daughter’s woes. The hard facts of her medical history couldn’t be easy for her daughter to come to terms with, but she must’ve thought it over—she seemed to be back to normal, whatever her normal was.
“In any case, after my day at the office, I’m not hungry for a big meal.” Peaches jumped off Nadine’s lap and bolted out the room. “No harm done. There’s enough bread and cheese for us both. I’ll be going grocery shopping tomorrow after work. Papi, Aunt Jan… and maybe Uncle Denis are coming for supper. I could sure use a coffee right now.” She got up to fill the percolator and paused to look back over her shoulder. “Did you say you cleaned up my desk? I planned to do that this evening.”
“I had no choice. I didn’t have enough room for my notebook. Everything’s in three neat piles now, so you probably won’t be able to find anything.” She sprang up from her chair— “Right. I almost forgot. Be right back”—and headed towards the office. “I found something that didn’t fit in any of the piles I made.”
Nadine had just sat down at the table when Lisette reappeared with a sheet of paper in her hand. “This has nothing to do with your work, isn’t a bill, and isn’t junk mail. I didn’t know which pile to throw it on.” She slid it across the table and flopped down on her chair.
“That’s where it went.” Nadine smiled up at Lisette. “Thanks. I need to take care of this. Don’t worry about sorting things out. Just push them aside and I’ll get to it later.”
“What’s it about?”
“Nothing that matters. Not to me in any case.” She folded the paper and tucked it into the pocket of her cardigan. “It’s something I promised to do for Uncle Denis.” She slid her chair back and walked to the stove. “I better check on that coffee.”
“What did you promise him?”
Nadine reached in the cupboard and brought down two mugs. Her daughter was being a little too pushy. The form had been among a slew of other documents on the desk and she would have had to read it before deciding in which pile to place it. Why bring it up if she already knew what it was about? Why not start a fourth pile instead of making such a fuss? “It has to do with Grandpa Pritchart’s will.”
“The old prick left you a bunch of dough, right?”
“That form wasn’t meant for your eyes. It concerns Uncle Denis and me.” She’d have to be careful about what she left hanging around now that she had someone living with her. Although she had decided not to keep any secrets from her, Uncle Denis might want to keep this private.
“No big deal.” Lisette squared her shoulders, a sullen look on her face. “Anyhow, I already knew all about it.”
Nadine brought the coffee mugs to the table and sat back down. “What to do you mean? I only found out about the inheritance a short while ago.”
“Serge found your name on this Unclaimed Accounts list while I was first searching for you. It’s where people have bank accounts or insurance money in their name without them ever knowing about it. When the money remains dormant for so many years the Canadian government claims it. I was trying to encourage Serge to find a safer way of raising money. So he checked the list for the fun of it. Him and I weren’t on it, but you—”
“Hold on.” Nadine straightened in her chair. “He’d have to know my name to do that. Social Services wouldn’t have disclosed it without my permission.”
Lisette lifted a palm up and shrugged. “He had that all figured out. I pretended to have a big coughing fit and the woman stepped out of the office to get me some water. That’s when he opened your file and found your name. The woman didn’t have a clue.”
Nadine crossed her legs, uncrossed them, and crossed them again. That Serge thought nothing of stealing her private information sent a wave of cold sweat down her back. And that Lisette was a willing participant was even more disturbing. “I had no idea that list existed.” She looked hard into her daughter’s eyes. “Why would you care if I was on it? You consider the invasion of my privacy to be a joke?”
Lisette put her mug down. “Hey. I never approved of him looking into your file. He never said anything to me before going into that office. He figured if I connected with
you, I had almost given up on that idea until Social Services called me, that you’d help me. Now that I think about it, I guess he already knew way back then that Pit and Sylvie wanted me out. Getting together with you was the perfect solution to him. He’s the one that encouraged me to call you back after I didn’t show up that time. He has more faith in you as a person than you have in him.”
Nadine didn’t know how to take this. Was Lisette saying Serge had orchestrated their reunion, and that she herself had never cared less about it? Was her inheritance the only reason she agreed to meet? She tilted her head and stared down at her hands. “The solution to what exactly?”
“He was just looking out for everyone. Keeping me safe and maybe get funding that didn’t require a lot of risks. Is that a crime?”
Nadine’s shoulders stiffened. “Are you saying he wanted you to get money from me to finance his terrorist activities? I suppose he figured you could manipulate me because I was so happy to have you around. Is that why you agreed to see me?”
A flush crept across Lisette’s face. “I started searching for you before Serge found out about your name being on that list. I needed to find out about my medical history—which, by the way, you took your sweet time to warn me about. Serge figured I’d be safe with you while this crazy manhunt was on. We joked about someone leaving us a windfall, but no one said anything about extorting money from you. People do make donations for causes they believe in, you know. That was a pretty stupid thing to accuse him of.”
“So why the interest in this release form?” Nadine held her daughter’s gaze.
She’s being defensive about Serge. Can’t blame her—nobody wants to see their lover’s faults. So change the subject. Let things ride. Is it worth alienating her over this? I dreamed about and longed for this child from the minute I first felt her move inside of me. Does she feel that primal urge to reconnect with me, or is she here to harvest whatever she can out of me?
“Just curious, that’s all. What’s the big deal? As your daughter, I should know what’s going on in your life.”
Nadine yanked the form out of her pocket and slapped it on the table. “You know exactly what’s on this paper. I’m refusing any claim of being the beneficiary of Grandpa Pritchart’s bank account.” A wave of nausea surged through her and she pushed her coffee mug aside. “I won’t let him pay me off. No amount of money can erase what he did. My uncles are contesting the will. Let them have it all. Not once did Grandpa bring his family out to a restaurant. Grandma always had to skimp on her grocery money if she needed to buy a new pair of shoes. Whatever money he left goes to his two sons. I’m more than OK with that. All I want is to be able to visit Aunt Jan whenever I want to.”
Lisette massaged her lower back before pushing herself up. “A grand gesture on your part. But aren’t you also trying to buy your way back into their good graces? You mention his two sons. What about his daughter? Don’t I also have a say in the matter?”
Nadine’s heart went out to this tall beautiful woman, her face flushed, her eyes flaring with the injustice of the situation. “Oh, Lisette, you can forget about that. The Pritcharts never even accepted me as being part of their family.”
Lisette’s features hardened. “They can’t deny me when I tell them I’m their little sister.”
“You think they’ll care?” Nadine slumped forward, placing her elbows on the table and clasping her hands together. “They wouldn’t have believed me twenty years ago and they sure won’t buy your story now. The man is long dead. His boys aren’t responsible for what he did. Leave them whatever tolerable memory they have of him.”
“I don’t want to join their damn clan. And anyway, there’s tests that can prove we’re related.” She flopped back down on her chair and rested a hand on her belly. “All I want is what I’m owed. You might not want or need the damn money. It’s not like I’m going to give this kid away and move on with my life. I want a home of my own with a room and a backyard for my child. Serge will move in and we’ll have a real family.” She straightened in her chair. “I’ll accept a payoff anytime. The old prick owes me big-time for what he passed on to me. He owes my kid too.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” Lisette’s hurtful comment about not giving her child away had taken her breath away. No matter how she explained the adoption, her daughter still held it against her. “The money’s not mine to give. I haven’t claimed it.”
Nadine tried to avoid the anger in her daughter’s eyes. She didn’t want to argue—her mind was set. She had just reunited with Aunt Jan and had no intention of letting her go. At the same time, she understood where her daughter was coming from. Having never had a family of her own, the money could make it easier for her to live out her dream. And there was her dogged determination to get back with Serge. She’d be more than willing to help him out with his funding needs just to have him near her.
“Please try to understand. I can’t do this to Aunt Jan. Uncle Denis won’t let me back to see her if I don’t sign this release.”
Lisette stood up, a hard look on her face. “Fine. Hand your money over to your stupid uncle. See how wide he opens the door to you once he’s got his hands on it. You figure you can keep me here just because I’m pregnant and homeless? Think again, lady. I’ll be out of here by tomorrow. And don’t even try to contact me.” She turned on her heel and stomped out of the room.
Nadine scrambled to make sense of her daughter’s reaction and tried to protest, but the door to Lisette’s bedroom slammed closed before she could even get a word out.
The ebony sky had already started to wane when Nadine flung off her blanket. Except for the five- or ten-minute periods when she had managed to doze off, sleep hadn’t claimed her. Visions of her pregnant daughter disappearing into a thick wall of fog had plagued her all night. After finally reuniting with her daughter, she was about to lose her again. Over what? Her stubborn resolve to avenge an injustice done to her as a young girl? Her only means of reclaiming her dignity back then had been to cut off all contact with her family and create a new identity. But in doing that, she had hurt the few people who had cared for her. Was she about to repeat the same mistake by choosing pride over her daughter?
She might not be able to undo past wrongs, but she could try to deviate the karmic path of Grandpa’s intent. He had thought to make amends by naming her as beneficiary in his will. If she claimed the inheritance she’d be condoning Grandpa’s actions and the Pritcharts might hold Aunt Jan hostage. Her aunt’s deteriorating health made it harder for her to oppose Uncle Denis. But she still had a mind of her own, and her husband would have a battle on his hands. It had never occurred to Nadine that he might renege on his agreement once he received the money.
By accepting the inheritance she’d get Lisette. But maybe not. Might she disappear once she got what she wanted? All these speculations were weighing down on her chest. Her daughter was right—she was trying to buy her way into people’s lives.
She ran a hand through her hair. Her head pounded from lack of sleep. Why did she have to reach a decision about this? Either way, she stood to lose both Aunt Jan and Lisette.
Stay on the sidelines, Nadine.
Don’t take a stand. Let the uncles claim the inheritance once the deadline expires.
But the ball was in her court. Papi had told her about the inheritance. Serge had discovered her name on that list. And Lisette was pressuring her to decide. Hiding her head in the sand wasn’t possible anymore. Whatever she decided, she’d be accused of doing the wrong thing. It was up to her to act.
If she handed the inheritance money over to Lisette, a good part of it was going to end up helping Serge with his terrorist activities. Didn’t that also make Lisette guilty of buying into Serge’s life? Don’t we all, at some point, bargain to belong? With our possessions, our sexuality, our loyalty, even our dignity—whatever means necessary to get what we want.
Grandp
a Pritchart would turn over in his grave knowing his hard-earned money was being used to fund the FLQ. Claire’s worst fault, in his eyes, hadn’t been her stringy, overdone roasts or her pie crusts as hard as cement. He just couldn’t tolerate her being a Frenchie who butchered the Queen’s English. Speak white, little girl. Speak white. He’d rap Nadine’s knuckles each time he detected a French accent. Even buried six feet under, he still kept an iron grip on her emotions.
She reached for her housecoat and paused to listen. Footfalls. Lisette was up. Nadine headed for the kitchen. A bulging knapsack lay by the front door. Lisette sat on a chair at the kitchen table, her body hunched over her belly, struggling to reach her shoe laces.
“Where are you off to at this hour?” Her heart in her stomach, she leaned back against the kitchen counter. Had she dozed off earlier, the girl would’ve been long gone before she had even hauled herself out of bed. She might never have heard from her again.
Lisette secured the knot on one shoe and stretched over to the other side for the next one. “First thing, I’ll hand in my term paper and grab a quick breakfast. Straight after that, I’m off to the welfare office before the line-ups. I’m sure I can find a cheap place somewhere near the university.”
“Don’t… go, Lisette.” Nadine steadied her breathing before continuing. “This is your home for as long as you want it. I’ve made up my mind. I won’t be signing that release. I’ll make arrangements with the trust company that’s holding the money. When it goes through, we’ll get it transferred to your name.”
Her decision was sure to shake things up between her and the Pritcharts, yet she didn’t want to lose her daughter over this. Maybe Uncle Denis’ concern for Aunt Jan’s health would make him reconsider his threat of barring Nadine from seeing her. He’d always been attentive to his wife’s needs and might one day understand her wish to be with her daughter. Telling him about her change in plans wasn’t going to be easy. She expected a harsh reaction, but her relationship with Lisette was too important.
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