He lost his battle and laughed.
“Laugh all you want, but what in the world ever possessed you to do something like this?”
Nolan shrugged and looked for a taxi. “I started to try and find things that kept my mind off of everything.”
I looked up at him. “Everything?”
He nodded. “You, Amanda, the accident. I wanted to forget. The only way I could that was to be taken away somehow. So, jumping out of planes, paragliding, and running down hills in balls became my escape. It took me away for a while.”
I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat. “I guess I can understand that. I think that’s what Paris was for me, subconsciously. I never really wanted to admit I was running away, but that’s exactly what I was doing.”
A taxi pulled up, and Nolan opened the door. Before we slipped inside, he placed his hand on the side of my face and smiled sweetly down at me. “No more running for either of us.”
My eyes stayed fixed on his. “No more running.”
Nolan and I spent the rest of our two-week honeymoon exploring nature, sitting in our bungalow, and simply being together. We talked for hours, and sometimes we sat in silence as I read a book and Nolan learned to just relax. He had been so tired, and I was so glad he was allowing himself to be in the moment. We talked about Amanda, let ourselves grieve, made plans for our future. We ate on the beach at sunset, took long walks at night, and made love in the outdoor shower under a vast sea of stars on more than one occasion. It was the most amazing two weeks of my life. A part of me dreaded the idea of going home. I loved being able to spend all this time with Nolan. And I loved having my memories back. The good and the bad.
“You all packed up?” Nolan asked me as he stepped out onto the balcony.
“I am. You?”
“Yep. I didn’t realize how many souvenirs we actually bought for Liliana and Nolan.”
With a giggle, I turned and looked at him. He was staring out over the ocean, a look of complete contentment on his face. Turning, I leaned my hip against the railing to look at him. “I probably shouldn’t tell you about the two shirts I bought earlier, then.”
“For the kids?” he asked, a smile on his handsome face.
Nodding, I answered, “Yes. They were so cute, I had to get them!”
“Linz, I don’t think I can fit another thing in my suitcase, and from what I saw earlier when you were packing, yours was full as well.”
Reaching up onto my toes, I kissed him quickly on the lips. “Don’t worry, I already put them into my carry-on. I promise, I won’t buy another thing.”
Nolan stared down at me like he knew it was a lie if he had ever heard one. He smirked and kissed the tip of my nose. “Famous last words.”
Nolan
Five months later – July
STEPPING THROUGH THE back door of the house, I took off my cowboy hat and placed it on one of the hooks that hung in the mud room.
“Linnzi?” I called out as I walked through the small hallway that led to the kitchen. “Linz?”
The house was quiet except for the faint sound of music coming from upstairs. As I made my way through the house, I called out her name once more.
“I’m upstairs!” Linnzi called out.
As I made my way up the steps, I turned in the direction of the music. I thought at first that Linnzi was in my old room. We had finally gotten around to taking all of my old furniture out and replacing it with new stuff—we were changing the room into a guest room.
Suddenly, Linnzi popped her head out of the bedroom down the hall. Amanda’s bedroom.
I forced myself to smile, seeing as she was giving me a full-blown grin. “I’m in here,” she said.
Drawing in a deep breath, I stilled my nerves and made my way toward her. I went into the room often now, and the pain had slowly started to ebb. I still had a bit of a problem any time Linnzi wanted to fly anywhere. It was always the landing that got me, even though I had never had another incident like the one that had taken our daughter’s life and Linnzi’s memory.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I kissed her.
Her eyes sparkled like she was keeping a secret and wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold it in.
“Come in and see.”
As I stepped into the bedroom, my eyes went to the walls.
“You painted.”
She smiled. “Yep.”
“Why?” I asked with a slight chuckle.
“It needed a fresh look.”
I walked over to the large window and looked out. Summer in Texas could be brutal, but we’d had an unusual amount of rain, so the pastures still looked green. Horses dotted the front pasture, and I smiled when I saw the buckskin horse that I had bought Linnzi for her birthday running around, trying to get the other horses to stop eating and have a bit of fun.
“I like the gray—why did you pick that color?” I asked as I turned and leaned against the windowsill.
Linnzi bit into her bottom lip, and I felt my cock jump in my pants. My desire for this woman hadn’t lessened a single bit. As a matter of fact, every time I saw her I swore I fell more in love. Today she seemed to look especially beautiful. Her brown hair was pulled up and piled loosely on top of her head with a few strands framing her neck and the sides of her face. She wore jean shorts and a light blue t-shirt that made her blue eyes even more vibrant. Her cheeks seemed to be flushed as well.
“Are you hot?” I asked before she could answer my other question.
“No, I’m not hot. Why?” Her brows raised ever so slightly.
With a half shrug, I replied, “Your cheeks are flushed.”
She pressed both hands over her cheeks and laughed. “I’m happy.”
It was my turn to chuckle. “You’re happy? Why didn’t you paint the walls yellow then instead of gray?”
With a shake of her head, she whispered, “No, gray will work for what I have planned.”
We stared at each other for a few moments, and I had the strangest urge to pull her into my arms and kiss her senseless. “You look beautiful today.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and she walked over to me.
I frowned. Not the reaction I was suspecting for my compliment, but before I could ask her why she was upset, she put her finger on my lips.
“Shh. Thank you for saying I look beautiful. I feel beautiful.”
I tilted my head and searched her face.
“I went to the doctor this morning.”
I felt my heart slam against my chest. “Is everything okay? Do you feel okay?”
She laughed. “It was my annual appointment. I got a bit of news today. I was sort of expecting it, but wanted to wait for confirmation.”
I could feel the hope building up inside me, but I pushed it away. The last thing I wanted to do was get my hopes up. “Good news?”
A single tear slipped free and made a slow trail down her face. I stared at it, confused. She was crying but wore a smile on her face. “The best news ever.”
She placed her hands on my chest and looked down and let out the sweetest little laugh before she lifted her head and our eyes met. And in that very moment, I knew. “Linz, are you pregnant?”
With a nod, she whispered, “Yes. Six weeks.”
I cupped her face with my hands and felt my entire body shudder with happiness. “Are you serious? We’re pregnant?”
She nodded, more tears now streaming down her face. “Yes. You’re going to be a daddy again.”
I pressed my mouth to hers and kissed her with everything I had. I poured every ounce of happiness I felt in that moment into the kiss, and I could feel her doing the same. We were lost in one another for what felt like forever before I slowly drew back.
“Linnzi,” I whispered as I kissed all over her face.
“I’m so happy, Nolan.”
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut to keep my tears at bay. “I am too, sweetheart. So happy.”
She wrapped her arms around me and held onto me.
“I am a bit scared.”
I gently moved her away from me until I could see her face. “Why are you scared?”
Linnzi shrugged. “I don’t know, but I think it’s a normal reaction. When I found out, I wanted to call you right away. I suspected I might be because I was late, but I knew I had this appointment and I thought I’d have them check to be sure. I was afraid to get our hopes up. Then I left the doctor’s and stopped and bought paint! Don’t ask me why, but I had the sudden urge to paint the room. I know this was Amanda’s room, but I think she’d be happy knowing a little baby brother or sister will be in here.”
I swallowed hard and nodded once. “I think so. I like the neutral color. It’ll be perfect whether it’s a boy or girl.”
“That’s what I thought too.”
I shook my head and stared down at her. “We’re having a baby! I can’t believe it.”
With a giggle, she covered her stomach with one hand. “I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl. I only want them to be healthy.”
I brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear and nodded. “I agree. I don’t care either.”
She looked away and then back at me. Her eyes fluttered nervously as she spoke. “I know most of Amanda’s things are gone, but I also know we have a few things still in the trunk we decided to keep. I don’t want to use anything that was hers. It doesn’t feel right, ya know?”
“I agree.”
More tears came, and I wiped them away from her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs.
“I…I…just don’t want to feel like we’re replacing her, because we never could.”
Her voice shook, and I pulled her back into my arms and buried my face in her hair. “I know, baby. I know. I asked Truitt to donate all of the furniture, except for the artwork that was on the walls. It didn’t feel right giving that away since I knew how much you loved those paintings.”
She pulled back and looked up at me, then nodded as she swept away fresh tears. “I’d like to hang them up in the baby’s room at my folks’ house, if you’re okay with that.”
“Of course I am,” I said as I kissed her on the forehead. “Did you have a theme you were thinking about?”
A wide smile helped to ease her tears, and I dabbed at the corner of my own eyes to keep mine from falling.
“Yes!”
“Tell me.”
A beautiful, brilliant smile grew across her face. “I was thinking a rustic woodsy theme. Maybe we could even put up a theme wall over there. Stained wood, I was thinking.”
“I like that idea. A light stain?”
She nodded. “Yes, I like the idea of something lighter. To keep the room feeling airy and fresh. Then we could decorate the walls and put up cute curtains. I was even thinking maybe Truitt could make us a mobile with little wood animals on it.”
I smiled. “I love that idea.”
“Really?”
Pulling her into my arms, I kissed her. “Really.”
Linnzi’s eyes sparkled with happiness, and I felt my chest expand with love. I reached down and picked her up. “I want to make love to you.”
Her body molded against mine, and she whispered one word. “Yes.”
We spent the rest of the afternoon in bed wrapped up in one another. If I didn’t think Linnzi needed to eat at some point, I would have kept her in bed well into the night and most likely into the morning.
“Are you hungry?” I asked as I let my finger trail lightly up and down her arm.
“Starved.”
“Do you want to eat at home or go out?”
She let out a breath and replied, “I’m craving chicken fried steak.”
I laughed and held her tighter against me. “Mashed potatoes?”
“God, yes! With extra gravy. And peach cobbler. With ice cream.”
“Well, there’s only one place in town that I know makes the best chicken fried steak and serves the best peach cobbler.”
Linnzi lifted off of me and flashed me a brilliant smile. “Creekside!”
“I’m game if you are.”
I’d never seen her move so fast in my life. She practically jumped out of the bed and raced to get dressed. “Nolan, move! Now that I thought about it, I need it in my belly!”
Laughing once more, I slipped out of bed and quickly got dressed. Once we were in the car, I reached over and took Linnzi’s hand in mine. “When do you want to tell your folks about the baby?”
She drew in a slow, deep breath and exhaled while she turned and looked out the passenger window. “I want to keep it between us for a few more weeks. At least let me get out of the first trimester, and then I figured we would tell my folks.”
I gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “That sounds good to me.”
I felt her gaze on me and gave her a quick glance.
“What about names?” she asked, a hint of excitement laced in her voice.
“Names.” I groaned at the thought of going through that process again.
Giggling, she said, “I have a couple I like.”
“Let’s hear them.”
“Okay, well, if we have a boy, I was thinking Jackson.”
I felt my heart drop. “After my father?”
“Yes. Is that okay?”
My throat bobbed as I attempted to swallow around the sudden lump in my throat. The only thing I could do was nod. After a moment or two, I found my voice. “And if it’s a girl?”
“I haven’t come up with one yet. Do you have any you like?”
I thought for a few moments and remembered my mother saying that if she’d had a girl she would have named her Raney. “What about Raney?”
“The name your mother liked?”
“You remembered that?” I asked, stealing a quick look at her.
“Yes. If you’d been a girl, your name would have been Raney. I like it. A lot.”
I nodded. “Then we have our names. If it’s a boy, Jackson. A girl, Raney.”
Linnzi brought my hand up to her lips and kissed it. “What do you think about getting the peach cobbler to go and eating it in the back of your truck?”
I pulled my truck into the parking lot of Creekside, parked, and then faced Linnzi. She was giving me a sexy little smile as she waited for my answer. “Have I mentioned how much I love you?”
A sweet, yet sexy grin appeared on her face. “It’s been awhile. At least thirty minutes.”
“My bad,” I whispered as I ran my thumb over her bottom lip. “I love you to the moon and back, Linz.”
“I love you more, Nolan.”
Nolan
Two years later
DUKE AND BELLE ran around the side of the house as if they were being chased by the big bad wolf. Or worse yet, our one-and-a-half-year-old son, Jackson.
As he ran by, I reached down and scooped him up. “What are you doing, little man?”
He giggled and placed his hand on the side of my face. “Dada! Goggies!”
“That’s right, Daddy is home, and he’s wondering why you’re trying to get the dogs?”
“Jackson!”
Jackson and I both looked over to see his mother, my beautiful wife, appear around the corner of the house.
“Oh, good. You caught him! You little stinker. I told you not to chase after the dogs. You know Mommy can’t run.”
I placed Jackson on top of my shoulders as I made my way over to Linnzi.
“You look beautiful today.”
She blushed and slowly shook her head. “You say that every day.”
“Because it’s true. You do look beautiful. Doesn’t your mommy look pretty, Jack?” I asked as I looked up at my son.
“Mama pwetty!”
Linnzi gave Jackson a sweet smile. “My sweet boy. You are only being so nice because you know you’re in trouble.”
“Oh no!” I said as I squeezed his legs, and Jackson let out the most adorable laugh, then motioned with his arms out to signal he wanted to play planes.
Linnzi reached up on her toes and kissed me.
“You’re home early.”
“I told Paul I was taking the next few days off.”
With a tilt of her head, Linnzi asked. “Why?”
One quick glance down at her nine-month swollen belly and she laughed. “Nolan, you cannot predict when I’m going to go into labor.”
Linnzi turned and headed up the steps to the house, with me and Jackson following.
“I can and I’m telling you, it’s going to happen in the next few days.”
She laughed, stepped into the house and mumbled, “If only.”
I reached up and took Jackson off of my shoulders and set him down. “No more running from Mommy and chasing the dogs, okay, buddy?”
He nodded. “Pwane?”
Glancing over at Linnzi, I raised a brow. The last time I played plane with Jackson, he had just eaten, and I ended up with his lunch all over me when he threw up.
“It’s fine. Let’s not be a fighter jet today, though, okay?”
I winked and then picked up Jackson again, causing him to squeal in delight. “Someday soon, buddy, I’ll take you up in a fighter jet.”
I didn’t even have to see the look on Linnzi’s face. I could feel her eyes boring into me. “You’ve already taken him up in your plane, and he’s not even two yet. Do you think maybe we can wait for the fighter jets until he’s at least eighteen?”
Before I went back out the door, I looked over my shoulder. “You’re right. We need to jump out of one first.”
“Nolan Byers!” Linnzi called out as I laughed and quickly headed outside.
“Pwane, Daddy!”
“Okay, buddy, let’s do this.”
Adjusting Jackson in my arms, I took off running as I lifted him and then dropped my arms down, only to lift him again. The sound of his laughter was music to my ears.
Jackson cried out in a clear indication he wanted to go faster.
“You really are my son, aren’t you?”
For another twenty minutes I played airplane, then chase, then airplane again, before I collapsed onto the grass. “Jack, your old man is tired.”
He laughed and jumped on top of me where he promptly laid his head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed the top of his little head. “I love you, little man.”
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